Greyriver Shifters

by Kristina Weaver

  I watched Nick and Prissy, Flame and Gretchen, Mika and Bear. Hell, even Hannah and Logan would die for each other. Fated is forever. Protected. Cherished. Loved.

  My heart goes out to Jock right now because I understand what he’s saying, and I don’t disagree. That doesn’t make what he’s doing right though, and neither does it excuse what he did to the Harris pack.

  “You need to stop and think. This isn’t right. Make this network what it once was, Jock. I know this started as a way to help females. Do that. Help those who need you and leave the packs to their own laws,” I plead, coming closer to take a seat near him. “Your sister suffered, and for that I am so sorry. I blame people for not seeing it, but it’s no one’s fault but the male who harmed her. Please, Jock. You’re not this male. Your sister would not want you to be this male.”

  I keep my voice soft, modulated, hoping to get through to him, but all I see when he looks up at me is a bleakness that terrifies me.

  “I lost my own Fated when the mate she had been forced to accept killed her rather than lose her to me. I ripped his heart out of his chest, you know. Right in front of the young he’d bred on her.”

  “Oh, Jock.”

  “So you see? I won’t stop. I want things to change, and if it has to come at a price, then I will pay it. Any which way, I won’t listen to one little female, who was so in love with a male that isn’t hers that she willingly walked into a trap.” He laughs.

  I laugh now too. Not because I’ve won or that I’m getting out of here, but because I haven’t lost it all. Brie is gone, that formula is out there, and those people will be helped no matter what.

  I laugh now because I haven’t lost completely. I won in my own way, the only way I had left to me because I am not leaving this earth with this madman running free.

  I may die, and yeah it sucks a lot that I will. Or that I won’t get to make that call to Mama after all, but I’m not just going without a fight. See, I know something he doesn’t know…

  “How did you know Angelina was your mate?” I ask softly, stopping his laughter midstream.

  Now it’s Jock’s turn to frown down at me, his eyes glittering in his face.

  See. Plan.

  I have a friend. A very sneaky, completely-without-conscience kind of friend, who actually delights in doing things that others would consider wrong. Like going into someone’s mind on the sneak and picking their brains while they sleep and are completely unaware.

  And finding things in their convoluted minds that no one else can. Say, like the fact that Jock was in love with Angelina and convinced himself of it to the point it almost killed him when her mate beat her to death. For sleeping with Jock.

  It sounds strange, and I mean, even I doubted it when Hannah came back to tell me what she found. I mean, come on, Fating is a hit you off your ass force. Unmistakable. Apparently though, some people don’t know the difference between love and Fating. And it seems Jock was convinced.

  “I Fated her. I felt the pull, the undeniable rush. She went into heat,” he mumbles.

  “I dunno, Jock, that doesn’t sound like it to me. You know when my friend—Bear—Fated his mate, he was a walking hard-on all the time. He craved her blood and went almost insane when she died. In fact, he was close to feral before he managed to calm down and then only because she lived. That was all that mattered to him. Lync, a friend of mine from way back also lost his mate. He was for real feral, and he didn’t even like her. He lost it so completely he was locked up for almost six years after she was killed. You don’t look feral to me, male. You look like you loved someone, lost them, and decided to punish the whole world for it,” I say honestly, flinching when he lunges and topples me over, pinning me to the floor while he snarls down at me.

  “She was mine!”

  “She was a female you loved and lost. No more, no less. God, it is going to really suck for you if you ever do find your mate,” I mutter, keeping my eyes on him, unblinking when he roars, almost bursting my ear drums.

  “I will kill you.”

  “Go ahead, Jockie. Do it. You’ll never know who your female is then,” I trill, playing my one and only trump card with a smirk.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Brig

  She’s never going to forgive me for getting her ass caught, and I know this as surely as I know that right now she’s sitting in a cell under the earth where no one can scent her, pacing the confines and cursing me to hell.

  To make matter worse, I now have to deal with an almost-deranged male, who hasn’t stopped pacing or partially shifting for the last day since he dragged a laughing Beebee out of the Glenhaven building and to Eureka, where he set up a safe haven of sorts.

  “She’s crazy! Out of her mind. Angie was mine.”

  I snort, sitting back in my seat and shake my head while Jock keeps storming around the room, intermittently roaring his fury. Honestly, I don’t enjoy seeing my best friend go crazy and lose it over something I don’t believe.

  And that is the problem. Belief. Because while I think Jock knows Bee is playing him, he also can’t risk it if she isn’t. If somehow she found out who his mate is, his Fated, if Angie wasn’t…

  I’m honestly so confused right now that I can’t make heads or tails of what is happening. All I know is that my female is still breathing, thanks to the deal I made with Jock, and the fact that she sucker punched him with her claims to know who his real Fated is.

  Which is possible because I told Jock for months I didn’t believe Angie was his. I think the grief of losing his sister—Fin—was just so great he wanted to believe in something stronger and fooled himself into believing he found it.

  “You know, I don’t believe she was yours, so give that a rest, would you. Christ, you’re still fucking shifting every two seconds. Would you stop! It’s disgusting, and I’m embarrassed for you, man,” I mutter, gulping my drink with relish when an image of Beebee’s face flits through my mind again.

  It was not easy watching Jock have a go at her, and I almost stormed down there and ripped his arm from his socket when he manhandled her. I caught myself though, wanting to see where he was going with this, truly believing that his assurance that he has bigger plans would fix the monumental fuck up that my life now is.

  Jock gave me my freedom from the network on one condition: That I find a way to get to the Clayton pack without giving it away that I was his plant.

  So I did it. Well, I tried to leave and force myself not to do it, risking the network coming after me to help Bee, but she is so fucking stubborn! Goddammit. My best intentions meant nothing under that female’s pigheadedness.

  So I went with it, telling myself that Jock has a plan, that I had to see it through, and that if he needed Bee in the mix, then I would go with it all the while protecting her.

  It sounds convoluted—and that is exactly what it is. But at the bare bones of it all is one fact.

  Jock is counter-resistance, as am I. We’ve been slowly making our way to the top for years, trying to dismantle the network, and in so doing find proof to use against the councils of different packs who utilize the network against their Alphas.

  Simple.

  At least that is how it started out, but trust me, being a double agent is not easy to manage, especially when lines get blurred. Like now. I am helping Jock, and in so doing earning my freedom while Jock himself is playing a deadly game to get to the male who killed Angie.

  No, that asshole is not dead. Jock tells people he ripped his heart out, but it’s a lie. It’s more wishful thinking than anything else. Confused? Okay, let me explain.

  Jock met Angie after getting into the ranks here. While he was infiltrating the place, he met the mate of one of the generals, a sweet little wolf who, even to me, seemed miserable with the male she was mated to.

  She did sleep with Jock, something that I warned the male about from the beginning when I saw the way things were heating up with them. I mean, come the fuck on! I can smell a female on her period t
wo blocks away. How did they ever assume they’d get away with it?

  Angie was killed for that. When her mate scented Jock on her, he snapped her neck so fast even I don’t know how Jock thinks he could have saved her. That guilt has spurred him on ever since.

  He’s worked tirelessly to infiltrate the leadership ranks and identify those in charge and calling the shots. Except one guy. The big cheese. The top dog. The man of the hour.

  That male is unidentifiable. Not even his own people know who he is. All we know is that he calls in daily and monitors all movements while we scramble to obey him.

  While we try to find him, Jock is on a die mission to kill Angie’s mate, something that he can’t do without getting his ass booted out of here or killed.

  Now see, just the fact that Jock didn’t kill the male, that he stopped to think and consider what that would do for our cause tells me Angie wasn’t his.

  But anyway. So here we are.

  About four months ago, I intercepted a communication from the Clayton pack to the chief and found out what was going on with that situation. It turns out the males who joined us, those without scent are just the beginning of an army.

  An army that will destroy pack life as we know it. If that army comes to fruition and there is a force strong enough to threaten death to all packs who don’t conform to universal law, we are all fucked.

  The communication detailed changes in the Clayton pack’s physiology that before now I hadn’t considered. Changes that make them dangerous to all of us.

  So I talked to Jock, and he decided that the only way to do anything about it was to set in motion certain events that would draw Clayton out in a manner of speaking and get other packs involved without blowing our cover.

  Cue Beebee, my inquisitive little cougar mix with ideals too big for her little body to back up. Jock dropped a little hope in Brie Harris’s ear, she contacted Beebee, and the rest—as they say—is history.

  Once I had Beebee on the track to this place—something I really did fight against, I swear—I started thinking about what would happen next. Brie spooked and got the hell out, taking that formula with her. Something that would only have happened because Jock got rid of her mate quietly.

  With that part of it already down, it is now on to bigger and better things. Namely the trial of one Barbie Kendall, for a capital crime that can only be judged by all parties leading the resistance. Which means the big guy has to be there, in person.

  And thus, every sneaky, corrupt plan that Jock made and involved me in is on track. So Beebee is imprisoned downstairs, thinking that Jock himself is the big cheese; I’m sitting up here, fighting my instinct that tells me to grab her and run, truly taking all those plans I made to escape and use them until no one will ever find us.

  I want to say screw Jock, abandon him here to do his own dirty work, and use the favor I got out of this, the payment Jock exacted from me to gain a clean break, and just run.

  Look, it’s not like I’m dishonoring the agreement exactly. I did bring Beebee here. That was the deal, one I fought! I left Greyriver knowing that I would be in deep shit but thinking that it was better than using a female to gain my freedom.

  I wasn’t washing my hands of it all and leaving. I didn’t intend to do any of this. Until Hannah called in her debt and made me find her. Goddammit, I really am a mercenary, selfish bastard because no amount of denying it will change that I was headed down this path all along.

  It all worked against me to bring me here, right to the place I was running from.

  “Did you enjoy your week of vacation, pretending that you were still the male who was going to run away and abandon the mission?” Jock sneers, making me grind my teeth.

  “I was—”

  “Yeah, yeah. You were heading to Alaska to live a remote existence all alone and you never once intended to hold true to our deal and you were not ever thinking, just once, of doing this with me and using her to gain us all our freedom,” he quips, the humor he feels at my expense finally allowing him to gain control of his animal and stop the half shifts.

  “Shut up, Jock! Christ, was it necessary to lay it on that thick with her?” I grate, my hand tightening round the glass.

  He shrugs, seems to find it somewhat amusing, and comes to take a seat in front of the fire in the opposite chair.

  “I need her scared, Brigger. If we walk into that meeting to put her on trial and she isn’t afraid, they’ll know something is wrong. Hell, are you forgetting how this all started? The Claytons went after her when Brie got word to Cyrus and then Beebee ‘went missing’. You recall she didn’t put off one fear scent in her own home and that she trashed a priceless collection in the process. If I told her I was not going to kill her, that you didn’t and hadn’t handed her over to die, she’d be pissed. Not scared.” He snorts, making me laugh.

  Christ! That female makes everything so fucking hard for me. Why can’t she just be afraid and female—instead of showing a courage that makes me hard and proud at the same time?

  “I should have kept lying to myself. Hell, I even let myself be surprised when Cyrus told me all about the pathogen. And I already knew about it!” I snipe, making Jock laugh.

  “Best trait to have as an agent. Get immersed in the role. Dude, yesterday I found myself really shocked when Ghecko told me about the scentless shifters going into other territories to hunt, like animals, for their food, and I actually asked myself how they could do it! And I already knew that shit weeks ago.”

  I smirk, nodding and sighing at the same time because now do you see why I need to leave? I can’t keep it up anymore. The more roles I play, the harder it is to hold onto reality.

  Maybe that is why I’m so good at it, all of this lying. I lie to myself every day and become something else when I need to. Someone who is in the moment, never me. No truly.

  “What am I gonna do? She hates me. I’m going to leave here with that female and get myself killed when she finds out just how badly I’ve played her for years.”

  “Beats the fuck out of me! All I can think about is having your pervy sister in my head all night and not giving away every little secret we have. She’s a mad female, Brigger. I swear if I hadn’t had all that porn in my mind to distract her, she’d have dug deeper than is safe.”

  I chuckle, knowing that Hannah is just the kind of female who would get herself off mission because of dirty thoughts. However, I also think that while she was in his head she saw something he doesn’t want anyone to see. Not even himself.

  How else would Bee know about Angie? And fuck me, is it true that this pain in the ass will finally have some sort of happiness when this is all said and done?

  “At least she got distracted. What I wouldn’t give to go into another role and pretend that I’m not me. I need to get lost again, Jock, because I swear, I don’t know if I can handle Bee finding out what a lying, conniving dick I am,” I tell him, feeling my chest ache.

  “She is gonna kill you eventually, man. That’s if she manages to get past the heat.” He laughs, making me cringe and flush guiltily.

  “Don’t remind me. Christ, I shouldn’t have lost control and blooded her in Whitefish. She’s going to kill me when she finds out.”

  “Eh, I don’t think any female could kill the father of her young.” He smirks.

  I groan again, thinking about what a bastard I am to have done that, but come on, I am a male who has lived a role for so long I cannot see myself half the time. When I’m Brig the elite, I lose myself in being exactly what I’m supposed to be, struggling sometimes to remember at the last minute what my mission is.

  When I’m an agent working for the network, I have to tell myself all the time I don’t believe in their goals and universal law theory. When I was Brig the male running away to Alaska, I almost forgot that I was supposed to lure Bee back here. I honestly, for a while and for too long, let myself be that male on the run, the one who wanted to be free. The one who didn’t love her or want to keep her. I gues
s, I am a liar.

  Now I am in another role, one I will fight for, lose my life for, and I have to keep reminding myself that to do that I need to not be a mate, but a ruthless mate who will use any means to keep his female.

  Even blooding her secretly and impregnating her.

  Which is the only role I want to play from now on. The real me. The male who met his Fated years ago and had to find a way to ignore it because I don’t want a mate if I can’t give her the life she deserves. I don’t want young unless I can guarantee that they won’t be ruled by madmen.

  This is me now, after all the bullshit is stripped, and God, I pray that it’s enough for Beebee. When…if…she forgives me.

  “Fuck.”

  “Six fucking years, Brig. Six years we’ve been at this. You denying your Fating, being three different males at all times to the point you believe it. And for what?” Jock asks tiredly, scrubbing a hand down his face where a beard is already forming.

  Thank Christ his facial hair is much darker than the ginger on his head or I’d shave him myself.

  “For the future. I want these six years of lying constantly, even to myself, to mean my young can grow up in a pack led by those Silverton males. I want Bee to have a home where our young thrive, and she can forget ever having to join this farce of an organization. I want happiness and all that family I never had,” I admit, smiling when he grunts. “You?”

  “I just want to find out why the chief wants Julia Silverton.” He smirks, making me laugh. “And a shot at Reynolds for killing Angie of course.”

  I toast him with my almost empty glass and drain the potent liquor in one gulp while wondering if I can go down to the basement and talk to Bee at all without making things worse.

  Probably not, I think morosely, pouring myself more liquor while Jock starts grumbling about Beebee and killing her. The only reason I don’t react is because he won’t ever do it.

  We’re friends, family, comrades in a life filled with lies, and we’re all we have keeping the floodgates back. If not for him, I would have lost myself in there a long time ago, and me, I saved him too.