It’s the last thought I have before I let go and let God, asking him to take me before I start foaming at the mouth and try to eat innocent people. Am I turning into a werewolf?
Dear God, just let me die.
Chapter Seven
Banner
I snarl at Bear, Logan, and Clarke, who are still laughing at me as I pace the confines of the waiting room and try to ignore Mom’s censorious glares and Dad’s disapproving muttering while I wait for some news on Cass’s condition.
According to a very furious Hannah, who still refuses to speak to me, Cass was having a good old time eating and talking to her and Tina when she just screamed, clutched her stomach, and collapsed onto the floor in so much pain she passed out.
I rushed here immediately after Logan called me, yelling at me that I’m needed and to get my ass over here. Since I arrived, I’ve been treated to glares, outright anger, and what I like to term “Hannah’s personality” whereby she keeps staring at me. Constantly. Without saying or thinking a word to me.
“This can’t be me! I didn’t touch her!” I say for the tenth time, running a hand through my hair in frustration.
Do they think I like any of this, that I met my Fated one night and just happened to want to reject her and cause her physical pain? I don’t want that. Hell, I would rip my own arm off before I caused her a moment of pain.
Which is why I can’t let myself mate her or go anywhere near her, something that is not exactly easy because I see her everywhere.
“Why are you doing this? She’s yours. You told me you would love your Fated no matter what,” Hannah says, making me swallow and fight a snarl.
“Have you seen her? Jesus, look at me and look at her. She’s the tiniest female I have ever seen in my life. I’d crush her.”
They all blink at me, as if just considering the size difference and the very real fact that I am not one, but two animals, and would display a natural aggression far stronger than any shifter would.
“You could try to be gentle,” Mom offers, wincing when my bear growls, flashing in my eyes.
“I can’t even keep my animals from surfacing when I’m calm, Mom. Can you imagine what would happen if I was in a state of lust?” I ask, swiping a hand over my face when exhaustion hits me. “Dinner? Are you people fucking crazy? I had to sit through almost two fucking hours smelling her heat. She should have worked through it by then.”
Which is the only reason I let Mom talk me into it in the first place, even knowing I shouldn’t be anywhere near her. I couldn’t help myself though. Hearing about Cass, remembering those eyes and that body, I needed to see her again, and no amount of telling myself “no” could stop me from doing it.
I almost shot a load in my damn pants when I walked in there and saw her dressed in that come-fuck-me sheath. And her ass. God help me. After she left, I had to go home and rub one out before I did something stupid like crawl into her window at Logan’s place and sate myself in her—
“We thought you just needed a push, dear. Look, I know you’re not exactly great with females. I mean, you seem to have stopped caring in the last while, not that I blame you since most of the shifter females of this generation are all whores, but she’s yours, Ban,” Mom says, her eyes pleading with me. “You owe it to her to look after her.”
“Haven’t I? I bought Dad’s cabin, so she can live there without worrying about a place to stay, and I’ve offered to put money in her account, so she doesn’t have to leave again. It’s bad enough that she’s here and my animals know it, Mom,” I mutter, forcing myself to sit down and relax before I run down the hall to go see what the hell is taking so long.
God help me, I feel like I’ll come out of my skin if I don’t see her soon. Just to see that she’s okay and that they’re helping her and she’s not in pain. I can’t stand the thought of Cass being in pain.
“I couldn’t just let her leave, Banner. You know she thinks she’s crazy because she saw a freaking werewolf! Good God, I saw her thoughts, and some of what happened before she stopped thinking about it and I saw him. The male on her scent is definitely a shifter. And the look in his eyes when he broke into her house to mate her, it was crazed. If she leaves here she’s defenseless because I am telling you, he’s going to come for her. He’s already searching.”
My animals snarl, my bear rising up with a roar of aggression that leaves me gasping for air. I’ll kill him. I’ll rip him apart before I allow some mangy, flea-ridden fucker to come near my female.
I may not have the option of mating her—all for her own good I might add—but I can care for her. Who knows, maybe in a year or two if she puts on some weight and proves sturdy, I could try to be with her.
I want to try. It’s a fact that now that I’ve seen her, know her scent, know how prefect she is—except her size—that I want her. I want no other, and I never will. She’s my female. Trust me, I don’t want to live the rest of my life alone and horny with no place to go with it.
I just don’t think I could touch Cass without hurting her. As it is, my animals are almost feral inside my mind with their need for her.
“So then she stays, Hannah. Why do you think I snuck into Jake’s and trashed her transmission? I know she has to stay here, and I do feel better knowing that if that bastard finds her, I’ll be here to protect her. But the mating, I can’t do that. I’d hurt her,” I say, begging her to understand.
It’s not that I don’t want Cass; it’s that I want her so much it’s dangerous.
“Fiiine, but at least help out with the blood. You have no idea how skeevy it is to have to watch her drink my mate’s blood. It grosses me out for her and also pisses me off because he’s mine,” she growls, her eyes flashing possessively.
Logan chuckles and pulls her into his chest, kissing her hair with a soothing rumble of unintelligible words she seems to understand. At least they calm her enough that her eyes stop sparking.
“I don’t like it either, but I’m shit scared to blood her. This heat isn’t normal as it is. What if the blood makes it worse?”
“It will.”
I turn when I hear the words, facing Althea when she walks into the waiting room and heaves out a tired sigh. The female looks dead on her feet, probably from long hours spent trying to find a cure for the scentless formula we got from the Clayton pack recently.
A few months ago, we started having invasions and attacks to our pack, and we were stumped because we couldn’t pick up a scent trail to track the trespassers. It turns out that the resistance council, a secret shifter organization intent on policing all shifters, developed a drug that they tested on the Clayton pack.
That drug did what we thought impossible and worked on the packs scent glands, completely killing the biology in us all that produces scent. Since it almost drove most of the males crazy when they couldn’t scent mark their mates, the pack refused to stick to the agreement they had with the council.
Which would have been fine, but for the fact that some of the males left their pack and joined the council. It was those crazy bastards who were invading our pack and harming shifters.
Barbie, a friend of ours was part of the resistance and started digging into the invasions. What she found was a shock to us all. Apparently, the Clayton pack is desperate to reverse the effects of the drug, while others in the resistance are pushing to change more of us and turn us into mindless, scentless animals they can control and use to dominate all packs.
Althea is currently working on the cure, using the formula Barbie stole before they found out and tried to kill her. That’s what she’s been doing for the last few weeks, and the strain is evident from the lines of stress forming beside her mouth.
“Okay, folks,” she says on a breath, shoving her hands into her pockets and facing us all. “So it seems that Cass is—in fact—in heat, set off by Banner if what Logan told me is correct.”
“But I didn’t touch her.”
“You tackled her to the ground when she was running o
n the road, bro. You forget it was you who caught her. Not me,” Logan points out, his eyes sparking at me.
“Shit.”
“Yeah, well, you can calm down, hero; it’s not the problem here, just like I heard you saying before I came in. She’s in heat, but her body isn’t shutting down because of it or even because you haven’t claimed or blooded her yet,” she mutters, looking directly at me.
Okay. Well that’s a relief, I think, swallowing when it occurs to me that I won’t have to risk strengthening a bond if I don’t get any closer. The relief is short-lived however with her next words.
“Cass is suffering from something that I haven’t ever seen before but can only describe as poisoning.”
“What? How? She was fine until her coochie started vibrating for Banner. She’s with me all the time, Al, and you know I would never—!” she cries, sniffling so hard Logan snarls and pulls her face into his neck, crooning at her to calm down for the young she carries.
“Calm down, Hannah! It isn’t anything she’s eaten or imbibed since she arrived. I took a blood sample when I couldn’t use Logan or Denny’s blood to bring her out of it and what I found, well, let’s just say it’s bad,” she says somberly, shaking her head.
“What are you saying, Althea?” I growl, my chest going tight when she bites her bottom lip and shakes her head.
“Cass has two scars on her left right shoulder where someone obviously tried to give her the mating bite. They aren’t deep by any means, more like two lines that are freshly scarred over as if he only grazed her. However, and this is something I am hesitant to say because I haven’t ever seen it before and can only speculate on, I think he got his essence into her on the first try.”
I shoot up out of my chair without a second’s thought, my animals each roaring their denial of any male ever putting their claim on what is mine. Cass is mine! Mine. My female, made only for me and no other. I will kill—
“So this is…?” Logan asks, trailing off when Althea shrugs, her own expression filled with confusion and frustration.
“I don’t really know, guys. Like I said, I haven’t ever seen this before. Shifters don’t just bite any female, but for whatever reason, this guy seems to have decided he wanted to claim her and he tried. From what I know, Cass got away—and she’s been running for weeks. Unfortunately, that means she hasn’t had medical attention for the bite. If she’d gone to the hospital to have it looked at, they’d likely have cleaned out the essence without knowing and stopped this from happening.”
“What is happening?” I ask, clenching my fists into tight claws at my sides.
“I just don’t know,” she says tiredly, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Cass is displaying clear signs of poisoning of some kind, and her blood definitely has shifter essence in it. It seems to be making her sick somehow. I just don’t know why or how to fix it. She could get worse or better, or just stay the same. We don’t know. Even Grogan tried his blood on her, and it’s not helping.”
My growl of possessive anger goes unheard while everyone continues to watch Althea as if she’ll magically have the answer.
“Are you telling me there’s nothing you can do for Cass?” I ask woodenly, my throat going dry when she holds out her hands in supplication.
“Be reasonable, Banner. I have no idea what the hell is going on with her blood. I can’t explain how she’s gone weeks with this inside her and now suddenly she’s sick from it. I can’t get it out of her using drugs because I’d have to know what drug to use first. I just don’t know. For now, I have her on some very potent pain killers and sedatives, hoping the sleep will level things off for her so that the pain stops. That’s all I can do. Grogan will continue to run tests on her blood for now, but other than that I just don’t know.”
The helplessness I feel coursing through me has my animals rising, snarling, making me want to destroy something, anything in my path. I feel so aggressive right now it takes more strength than I knew I had to get me to breathe and not rip apart this waiting room. As it is, by the time I can get myself under control, I find my knees buckling and dumping me to the floor, all the power draining out of me at the thought that Cass is sick and there is nothing I can do to fix it.
“Ban—”
“She wasn’t sick before I touched her. She was fine. She was healthy. I touched her and couldn’t control my scent, and now…she’s sick and I can’t,” I say and breathe deeply, feeling my emotions rise to the fore. “What if she’s not okay?” I rasp, dropping my head into my hands as misery engulfs me.
“Who’s not okay? Oh my goodness did something happen while I was out? I don’t think I was a hundred percent over that flu, Hannah. You were so right about me staying in bed a few more days. Oh well, whatever you guys did made me feel a hundred times better. Can we leave now? I hate hospitals. They creep me out. And I really wanted to move into the cabin today, although now I’m going to be much more careful about my stress levels. I should probably take more of those vitamins, huh?”
My head shoots up at the sound of that voice, and I gape, as do the others when I see Cass standing in the doorway, clutching a hospital gown tight at the back near her ass.
I’ve seen her do this before, in fact I saw her do it a few nights ago at Mom and Dad’s place because she seems self-conscious of her ass. I don’t get it. I’d lay odds I have yet to see a better ass on any female—shifter of human.
I’m so choked I can’t so much as blink when she shifts and looks around her brow furrowing.
“Er, am I missing something here?” she asks, her innocent confusion causing everyone to gape before Hannah explodes out of her seat and practically falls into Cass.
“Oh my God, I was so worried. Althea couldn’t get you to wake up and…and you were sick and…and I was so scared that you were like gonna die and leave me all alone with no friends. Don’t you ever scare me like that again. Now come here.”
The hug Hannah gives her makes us all laugh, especially when Cass groans and shifts, trying to break free.
“Are you taking steroids? Heck lady, that’s some strength you got going there. Maybe remember that I’m sort of a wimp next time yeah? Oh, hi guys! What’s up?” she chirps.
I can hardly breathe for the emotion choking me, but I do manage to rise and stumble over, my own arms going around her in a fierce hug. The moment I touch her, she sags, and I panic enough that I almost drop her before I feel her snuggling against me and hear her humming under her breath.
“God, you smell seriously good. Uh, hey big guy, not so much on the squishing,” she gasps when I tighten my arms, the need to cover her completely almost overwhelming me.
Fragile! She’s so fragile, I think, forcing my arms to unwind so I can step back and look down at her. Right now, I have the unthinkable urge to grab her up, take her home, and keep her forever. But then what? I ask myself, shoving my bear back when he roars. I could take her home and do what?
Because there is no way I could claim her now, not even if I could control myself enough to be gentle with the female, which I don’t think I can. Shifter sex is rough by nature, so much so that what humans consider rough is our version of making love.
I’d kill this female if I so much as lost control once, never mind the overriding urge I have to shove her down, mount her from behind, and pound myself so seep not a drop of me would leak out of her.
“Um, yeah, okay. Er, so can we go now? By the way, this was so not necessary, you shoulda just waited for me to wake up. Oh, hi Ros, you look wonderful in that yellow shirt.”
She jumps from one thing to the next so fast I feel my mind reeling before Mom comes forward and hugs her, her eyes going wet when Cass hugs her back easily, almost gratefully.
“Nonsense, girl. Of course we’d bring you to the hospital if you’re sick. We weren’t about to just leave you on the floor after you went down. I’m so glad you feel better. How about the pain though, is it gone?”
Althea rises after the shock wears off and come
s over to call Cass away, touching her head, her pulse point at her wrist, and checking her eyes and whatever it is she needs to do.
We all watch silently with our breath held before she pulls away with a shake of her head and a bewildered expression.
“Any pain?”
“Erm, not really, just—” Cass stops, looks around and blushes before biting her lips. “Can we talk somewhere private?”
Althea nods, gently taking her arm to lead her from the room. We’re all silent until we hear a door open and close before everyone deflates and shares looks that make my skin crawl.
Shock, worry, confusion shows around the room whereas all I can feel is fear, frustration, and the certainty that something bad is going to happen.
“At least she’s awake. That’s good right?”
“Shut up, Clarke. You didn’t see her; she was…it was awful. One minute we’re eating muffins and sharing cups of banned cocoa, and the next she was in so much pain I swear I felt it too. I thought she was dying,” Hannah mumbles, sniffling against Logan’s chest. “And she’s so nice! She’s like the first genuinely nice person I have ever met. She doesn’t deserve this.”
This being something that is likely my fault, I think, leaning back heavily against the wall nearest the door. I should have resisted when I scented her. I should have known the moment I scented her that she was human and that I can’t go.
Instead, I was moving before I could make myself stop, and by the time I reached Cass, it was already too late. Instinct, my biology took over, releasing the scent that is meant to lure my female closer to me, to trap her in a cloud of lust so that I can mate and breed her easily.
I should have walked away the minute I saw her instead of pushing my luck because the truth is, I saw Cass and I was enchanted. She’s gorgeous and curvy and everything I could want in a female—except for one glaring problem I don’t think I can get past.
She’s fragile as hell.
Greyriver Shifters Page 78
