Not Just Another Rock Star Romance
Page 6
Quotables: “My kids are my world.” Five minutes later: “So will we get to go on dates with, like, massages and beer and adult things?”
Woman 4.
Name: Chantelle
Age: 26
Hometown: Dallas, TX
Occupation: Stylist
Eye Color: Hazel
Hair Color: Spiced Cider
Education: Beauty School
Children: Zero
Hobbies: Fashion Trends
Greatest Flaw: Gossip
Best Quality: Braiding
Greatest Accomplishment: Co-owning my own salon
Greatest Disappointment: I’m not married yet and I’m 26
Additional Notes from Producers: Fits the stereotype of High Maintenance.
Notables: Puts a lot of weight on trends and appearances. Will be interesting to see how she acts with the women in the house. She’s very much into the Hollywood scene and we can’t wait to watch her interactions with the male celebrities.
Quotables: “I subscribe to four different gossip magazines. Us Weekly is basically my Bible.”
Woman 5.
Name: Kristy
Age: 23
Hometown: Seattle, WA
Occupation: Mechanical Engineer
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Brown
Education: Master’s Degree
Children: None
Hobbies: Sports
Greatest Flaw: Competitive
Best Quality: I get along with everyone
Greatest Accomplishment: My recent promotion at work. I’m now a division manager and have sixty employees under me, and most of them are men.
Greatest Disappointment: When my softball team lost the championship game my junior year of college.
Additional Notes from Producers: Fits the stereotype of The Guy’s Girl.
Notables: She’s into athletics and she’s the type of girl who could sit with anyone and throw back a few beers. She’s fun and easygoing, but she’s also attractive and has a girly quality to her that gives her a whole lot of charm.
Quotables: “Who won the game?”
Woman 6.
Name: Talia
Age: 24
Hometown: Portland, OR
Occupation: Curator
Eye Color: Purple
Hair Color: Black with dark purple streaks
Education: Some College
Children: Someday
Hobbies: Manga, Art
Greatest Flaw: Shy
Best Quality: Artistic
Greatest Accomplishment: Published in Manga Weekly
Greatest Disappointment: Not finishing college degree
Additional Notes from Producers: Fits the stereotype of The Eccentric One.
Notables: She’s very independent and doesn’t care about what people think of her. These two traits bode well for her should she end up in a serious relationship with a celebrity.
Quotables: In response to the question “Why do you want to be on this show?” she said, “Why not?”
Woman 7.
Name: Eden
Age: 26
Hometown: Santa Monica, CA
Occupation: Social Media Sales Rep
Eye Color: Hazel
Hair Color: Blonde
Education: College
Children: None
Hobbies: Walking on the beach, Yoga
Greatest Flaw: I have no filter
Best Quality: Confidence
Greatest Accomplishment: My bank account after last year
Greatest Disappointment: N/A. I always get what I want.
Additional Notes from Producers: Fits the stereotype of The Bitch.
Notables: She’s a California girl at heart, but she’s very blunt, which could lead to a lot of drama with the other women.
Quotables: “I make no apologies for who I am. If you don’t like it, that’s your problem, not mine.”
Woman 8.
Name: Charlotte
Age: 27
Hometown: Brookhaven, GA
Occupation: Homemaker
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: Crimson
Education: College Graduate
Children: 1 girl (Madison) – age 4
Hobbies: Making jewelry
Greatest Flaw: Afraid of people being mad at me
Best Quality: Loving
Greatest Accomplishment: Raising my little girl by myself
Greatest Disappointment: Losing my husband
Additional Notes from Producers: Fits the stereotype of The One with the Tragic Story.
Notables: She’s a widow whose husband died in a tragic accident a few years ago while she was pregnant. She’s very sweet and makes everyone around her just want to give her a hug and tell her that everything is going to be okay.
Quotables: “When I lost him, my world ended. But when Madison was born, she picked up the pieces and made me a whole person again.”
Woman 9.
Name: Poppy
Age: 23
Hometown: Los Angeles, CA
Occupation: VIP Hostess
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: Blonde
Education: Some College
Children: None
Hobbies: Hanging out with friends and partying
Greatest Flaw: Care too much what other people think about me
Best Quality: I can hold my liquor
Greatest Accomplishment: Landing my dream job
Greatest Disappointment: Last call
Additional Notes from Producers: Fits the stereotype of The Party Girl.
Notables: Her occupation requires her to party all the time. She may have been drunk during the interviews. But she seemed fun, and her psychological evaluation checked out, so we took her.
Quotables: When asked if she’s ready to find love, she looked beyond the producer’s shoulder and replied, “Is that a bottle of tequila?”
Woman 10.
Name: Lexy
Age: 24
Hometown: Madison, WI
Occupation: Social Worker
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: Blonde
Education: Bachelor’s Degree
Children: None
Hobbies: Scrapbooking
Greatest Flaw: It takes me a long time to open up to people
Best Quality: Creativity
Greatest Accomplishment: Purchasing my own home
Greatest Disappointment: When children are lost to “the system”
Additional Notes from Producers: Fits the stereotype of The Girl Next Door.
Notables: She has the kindest nature of all the girls and projects a very sweet personality, but we think that hidden beneath that exterior is a girl who knows what she wants and stops at nothing to get it. She’s also a virgin.
Quotables: “I walk my dogs every day, and I wave at everyone I pass by. It always makes me sad when they don’t wave back, but that doesn’t mean I’ll stop!”
After I finish reading through the profiles, a wave of excitement hits me. My first thought is that I want to call Kylie to talk about what I found in there, but I shake that thought right out of my head. It doesn’t even make any sense. Besides, someone like Brody would offer a far better perspective.
Not a single woman on those pages is unattractive, and even though the producers painted many of them in negative lights, I can easily see the positives in each woman. I have an array to choose from, spanning from the party girl to the virgin. Opposite ends of the spectrum definitely give me my choice.
But I have to remember three things:
I’m not guaranteed to make it past the first night.
I still have to compete against another man even if I do make it on.
I’m not going to end up with any of them because I’m not going on the show to fall in love.
8
“Jesus, I’m getting too old for this,” Kane whines, and we all laugh as we watch him climb the chain link fence of Canyon
North High School, the same school Brody, Adam, and I attended and where Mrs. Fenwick still teaches math to poor, unsuspecting students.
Once he’s on the track side of the fence, I open the cooler for Rascal. “Beer mile rules state that you must chug a can of beer that is no lower than five percent alcohol, run a lap, chug, run, chug, run, chug, and run. If you vomit at any time, you will have to run a penalty lap at the end. If your time exceeds fifteen minutes, you’ll have to do it again another night. Any questions?”
He shakes his head, his eyes narrowed at me as I hand him a can of Milwaukee’s Best Ice, courtesy of Brody’s shopping trip today. Rascal grimaces, and the rest of us laugh. I hand a less aggressive Miller Lite to Brody and Adam before cracking one open for myself—the three of us don’t have to chug, but that doesn’t mean we don’t want to watch this while enjoying something ice cold ourselves.
“The time will start when you pop the tab,” I say, pulling out my cell phone and opening the clock app to time him. “Ready?”
“What-the-fuck-ever, man,” Rascal says, and then he draws in a deep breath and cracks open the can.
I start the timer, and as he chugs, I hear cheers from the other guys. Brody and Adam chant, “Chug, chug, chug,” while Kane yells, “Go, go go!”
Rascal tips the can over to show it’s empty before he tosses it on the ground and takes off for his first lap. I set the next beer on the starting line. When Rascal makes his way back to us two minutes later, he’s already huffing and puffing.
We’re all cheering as we watch him, which is probably stupid since we’re trespassing, but it’s dark and we’re all half drunk—except for Kane, who volunteered to be the designated driver. Rascal cracks the next one and chugs, tips it over, tosses it, and runs off. It isn’t until he cracks open his last can and takes the first sip that he turns to the turf and throws up the entire contents of his beer mile.
“Ha ha!” Brody actually says the words instead of laughing as he points to Rascal while he vomits. “You have to do a penalty lap!”
I roar with laughter along with Kane and Adam, and that’s when it hits me.
I don’t want things to change.
I love my life. I love my friends—yes, even Rascal. I love hopping the fence at the local high school so we can watch our buddy run a beer mile.
I have dreams and aspirations, sure. We all do. I’d love to see MFB hit the big time. But I still don’t want things to change between the five of us, and I’m suddenly hit with a suffocating anxiety that it’s going to and I’m powerless to stop it.
Rascal finishes the mile in under fifteen minutes along with his extra lap, and then we head back to Kane’s truck and pile in.
“Dude!” Brody says to me once we tumble out of the truck back at home. “Night’s far from over, man. Let’s go to Emerson’s and find some pussy.”
“Not tonight,” I say. “I have too much shit to do tomorrow.” The truth is that I just don’t feel like it. I’m about to go on a reality dating show. It’s bad enough that I’m seeing Kylie in a different light when I’m not supposed to and she doesn’t feel it anyway. I don’t need to confuse all that shit with some other woman, too.
“First you pussed out on Autumn, now tonight? What’s happening to my bro?” he asks, swaying a little on his feet as the other guys head back into the house.
“I’m going on a television show next week. Remember?”
“Yeah, exactly why I need you to hang with me now. What if everything changes?” His voice borders on whiney, something it only does when he’s drunk, and I realize how nervous he is about things changing between us because of this show.
It’s funny how best friends can manage to hit on the very insecurities that plague our minds. “Things aren’t gonna change, man,” I say. It’s not very convincing.
“You don’t know that.”
I shrug. “It won’t change if we don’t let it.”
He glares at me. “It’s already changing. You’re already telling me you don’t wanna go to Emerson’s. You’ve never told me no before.”
I sigh with resignation even as I have to admit to myself that Kylie was right. Men are idiots. “Fine,” I say. “Let’s go.”
His face brightens immediately, and then we set off on our walk toward Emerson’s. Just because I’m going tonight doesn’t mean I have to take someone home. I’ll go with Brody and enjoy one of our last nights out together before the show starts.
As we walk toward the place that’s as good as a second home to us, I make a vow to myself.
No matter what happens on the show, things between my buddies and me will stay exactly the same.
* * *
The two weeks between the day I found out I would be appearing on Take My Heart and the start of production pass in the blink of an eye.
I spend a lot of time with the band practicing, because even though Kylie claims our practice schedule won’t really be affected, we still have a tour to prepare for. We finalize our set list without back-to-back ballads and run through it a hundred different times until we all feel comfortable with the order. I appreciate everyone’s dedication to accommodating my appearance on this show. Kane missed his two-year anniversary with his girlfriend in order to practice. Adam missed his sister’s family birthday party.
Everyone’s making a million different sacrifices so I can go on a television show, but they’re the same sacrifices we’ll all be making once we hit the road for Vail’s tour.
It’s a little surreal, but I have faith it’ll be worth it in the end.
I find myself facing Chris—one of the producers—and a camera, and I don’t feel like me. I’m wearing some dressy blue shirt instead of one of my signature tees. Someone dusted powder on my face so I won’t appear shiny in front of the cameras. I sit in a fancy chair with candles lit all around me in a bedroom in an enormous house in Hollywood Hills, lights shining in my face and blinds drowning out the natural light of the afternoon sun.
Chris prompts me for material they can use in the opening episode. “Let’s get started. I’m going to ask you a series of questions, and I want you to respond like we’re just having a conversation. You can look wherever you feel comfortable but avoid looking directly into the camera. Remember to answer in full sentences and try to reflect the question somewhere in your response. Be candid and honest. Any questions?”
I shake my head, and Chris glances down at a piece of paper. “Tell me why you want to be on this show.”
I can’t answer that question honestly. I don’t know who might see my answer here. It could just be the women, or it could be all of America. If it’s the women, I want to appear open to a relationship so they’ll choose to keep me on. And if it’s all of America, I want to appear like the all-American man they could fall in love with as easily as the women.
“I want to be on this show because I’m looking to find that person who is my other half. When I was presented with the opportunity to appear on Take My Heart, I knew it was the chance of a lifetime. And here I am, ready to embark on this adventure that I hope will end in love.”
Chris nods encouragingly. “Talk to me about what you’re looking for in a woman.”
“I’m looking for someone who exudes confidence but is smart and kind. I love a woman with a sense of humor. I need someone who will stand by me and understand my career and all that comes with it. And of course I want someone who is beautiful on the inside and out. Long legs don’t hurt, either.”
“Anything else?”
“Nice tits.”
Chris laughs.
I shrug and grin. “You told me to be honest.”
“That I did. Next question. Where would you go on a dream date?”
I think back to the best dates I’ve ever had. Dinner in a quiet restaurant. A walk around town holding hands. One time I had a fun date at an arcade. Going big just isn’t really my style.
“A dream date for me would be something simple,” I say, reflecting his question back at him
as requested. “You know, somewhere like Vegas for the night.”
That earns me another laugh from Producer Chris.
“I’m kidding. One of the best dates I ever went on was just a simple night where we talked over pasta and wine and then shared chocolate covered strawberries. We laughed and didn’t have a care in the world except spending time together.”
“The girls are going to go crazy for you,” Chris says. “But you know that dates on reality shows are usually more extravagant than that, right?”
“Yeah, I know. I suppose you want me to say something like, ‘My ideal date would be venturing off in a helicopter and landing in the middle of a beach where we could enjoy a candlelit dinner and dip our feet in the water.”
Chris turns and looks at the cameraman, who nods. “Yes, and thanks for saying it that way. We can use that instead of your actual answer. But just for the record, the dates on our show will be simpler just because of the timeframe we’re working with.”
I put my hands up in protest, but Chris forges ahead with the next question. “Tell us about your career.”
I sigh. “I’m the lead singer of MFB, also known as My Favorite Band.”
“Why My Favorite Band?”
It’s another story I can’t really tell, so instead, I say, “When we were teenagers, we thought it would be funny if someone was coming to our show and they had to tell people they were going to see My Favorite Band.”
Chris sort of smiles, but not really. “How successful is your band?”
“We have a good following in San Diego, and our manager secured us a spot as the first opening act on Vail’s next US tour.”
“Wow. That’s big time.”
“It’s a huge break for us, and we couldn’t be more excited to get out on the road.”
“Will that leave much time for a relationship?” he asks.
I feel the urge to lie again. In all honesty, no. A relationship my first time on the road would, quite frankly, suck. The show will wrap, and a week later, we’ll be heading out on tour. I’ll barely know the girl I supposedly fell in love with on this show, and it’s not like we’ll have the time to get to know each other while I’m on tour.