Not Just Another Rock Star Romance

by Lisa Suzanne

  “I regret it, Kylie.” I grip the edge of the desk under my fingertips. “All of it.”

  “It was hard to watch, but it wasn’t fair of me to get mad about it when it was me who pushed you into it. I knew what you were signing up for. We both did.”

  I nod. “It’s cliché to say I was thinking about you the whole time, so I won’t say it. But I will say that I was trying to get you the hell out of my head. And with the No Bang Oath, I figured it was easier to just bury my feelings.”

  “The what?” she asks, narrowing her eyes at me again.

  “The No Bang Oath. When we hired you, Kane made us take an oath that none of us would bang you. We need you, and Kane didn’t want any of us to fuck that up by getting you into bed.”

  “So what’s this, then?” She motions between the two of us. “Just a bang because you’re stuck on a bus for three days? You want me because you’re not supposed to have me?”

  “I had no idea you were going to put that stupid reunion show on tonight,” I say quietly. “I tried to stop it. I wasn’t going to tell you how I felt about you until after the tour.”

  She huffs out a laugh. “After the tour? You were going to keep it inside, maybe sleep with a hundred more women in the meantime, and then what? Come knocking on my door?”

  I shake my head. “I wasn’t going to sleep with a hundred more women. I was going to wait for you.”

  She shakes her head like she can’t believe it. “I’m scared, Dax. I’m terrified what this could mean for us. I don’t want to ruin our friendship or the rapport we have going as colleagues. And I don’t know if I can be with someone who wears shirts like that.”

  She nods to my shirt, and I look down. Drink until you want me. I open my mouth to object, to try to say something—anything—to convince her that the two of us belong together, but she silences me when she holds up a hand.

  She’s maybe the only woman on Earth with the power to silence me that way.

  “But I can’t deny it anymore. I love you, too. I’ve been in love with you for eight months. The moment I stepped into your house so you guys could interview me for this position, I knew you were going to be big trouble, and I was absolutely right.”

  “You love me?” I ask incredulously.

  She nods and purses her lips. “I know. I must be the dumbest girl on the planet, but I can’t help it.”

  I stride across the room because I can’t go another second without holding her in my arms. When I reach her, I stop short. I take one of her wrists and circle my hand around it. I pull her hand to my mouth and kiss it, and then I gaze down into her eyes. They glow brown up at me, and even though I’ve made my share of mistakes over the past year, I know they all added up to get me to this moment, right here and right now.

  It feels like a vow when I say, “Let’s do this. It’s terrifying, but I want to jump in head first with you. We’ll figure it out together, and let’s agree right now that whatever happens between the two of us will never affect the four of them.” I nod toward the door to indicate the four other members of MFB.

  She nods, and the corners of her mouth tip up in a smile. “Let’s do this.”

  My mouth finally crashes down to hers in a kiss that has been too fucking long in the making. I take it slow because we have all night...we have forever. Her lips form to mine like they were made for me, and I let go of her wrist as I cup her neck with one hand and allow the fingertips of my other hand to dig into her hip. I trail my fingers from her neck down her torso before they land on her other hip, and she links her arms around my back as I finally open my mouth to hers.

  Our tongues move together in an erotic and rhythmic slow dance. I want to take it faster, but I want to take it slower. I want to cherish her mouth with mine leisurely for the rest of the night, but I want to show her with my body how much I fucking love her...and how much I already know I’ll love fucking her.

  I tighten my hold on her hips at the thought of sex with her, of our bodies moving together. I have to restrain myself because the want is too great and too deep—it’s become this living thing I’ve battled for months, and now that I’m finally, finally getting my chance, I need to take it slow.

  Even as I think it, my hips thrust a little toward hers. It’s an automatic response, and she gives me the smallest moan as she feels how hard I am for her.

  I do it again, and she bumps her hips toward mine this time.

  God, it’s enough to drive a man wild. I pull her hips harder against mine as I thrust toward her again, and one of her hands finds its way into my hair. She kisses me harder, tries speeding it up, but I calm us both back down by slowing my movements. The intensity, though...that I still deepen. I hold her close, I kiss her hard, I luxuriate in the thing I’ve denied myself for far too long.

  But just as all good things must come to an end, so must this.

  As much as I want to kiss Kylie and rip her clothes off and fuck her until she can’t walk straight, unfortunately, reality hits me square in the chest.

  I stop our kiss before it gets out of hand, and then I lean my forehead to hers and close my eyes for a beat as I draw in a steadying breath. Her brows furrow in confusion as she pulls back from me to look me in the eyes.

  “I want you so bad, Kylie, but we’re on a bus with four assholes probably cupping their ear to the door to hear what’s going on in here and you deserve better than that.”

  “I thought you stopped because you wanted to finish eating your pancakes.”

  She giggles, and I laugh. “That was my real reason. I just thought the other thing sounded nicer.”

  She smacks me in the arm as she backs up a step. “Asshole.”

  I shrug as I move to perch on the edge of the desk. “You love me. What does that say about you?”

  Our little exchange tells me that even though everything has changed between us, we’re still the same two people we were before. She’ll still give me shit, and I’ll still serve it right back at her. We’ll laugh, we’ll have fun, we’ll certainly fight, but most of all, we’ll love.

  “So what does this mean?” she finally asks. “We’ve admitted our feelings for each other. We kissed a little. I wanted to take it further and you of all people stopped it.”

  “Hey!” I protest, holding my hands up. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  She raises a brow. “Seriously? You’re, like, this man whore and I don’t even know what I see in you and you’re the one pulling back from our kiss.”

  I make an exaggerated face like her words hurt as I say, “Ouch,” but the truth is, they did hurt. “You don’t know what you see in me?”

  She shrugs. “You’re all wrong for me,” she says, stepping toward me until she ends up wedged between my legs. She links her arms around my neck. “But when I look at you, I see my future. I see everything.”

  I brush her lips with mine. “That’s all I want.”

  “Good. Because that’s all you’re getting.”

  29

  Protocol calls for closing the curtains at bedtime in the glamorous lifestyle of touring rock stars sleeping on a bus at a rest area, but if I close my curtain, I can’t see her.

  I turn on my side to face her and she’s already mirroring my position. I smile as our eyes meet, and then I reach my hand out to her. She links her fingers through mine across the small aisle separating our bunks.

  I half expect Rascal or Brody to make some stupid comment. Knock it off, you two or something along those lines.

  But their curtains are drawn. Everyone is sleeping, and this could be the perfect opportunity for sex...except it’s not. We’re still on a bus surrounded by other people, so I have to fight against every instinct I have to make her mine, to mark my territory, to kiss her and hold her tenderly after I work her body over with mine. We both deserve something better than that—for the first time, at least. I’m not saying it won’t happen somewhere later down the line on the tour.

  We’re stuck here until Saturday, and the next
thirty-six hours of waiting are going to be torture. My last thought before I fall asleep with her fingers tangled in mine across an aisle is that it’ll only build the anticipation between us.

  As we ride on toward Nebraska on Friday, Kylie and I lie together in her bunk as the other guys hang out in the front lounge. We’re on our sides facing each other, our legs twined together on top of her blankets as we talk quietly in the only privacy we can expect from a tour bus on the road.

  “I know you like pancakes and you wear ridiculous shirts and you’ve got the raspy voice of a chart-topping rock star, but I have some questions about you.” She taps on my chest.

  “Well, my first love is pancakes. Like isn’t a strong enough word for how important they are to me.”

  She giggles and smacks me lightly in the chest. “Be serious.”

  I clear my throat. “What do you want to know, sweets?”

  Her brown eyes fall onto mine. “How come you never talk about your family?”

  I shrug as I realize it’s the same question Eden wanted the answer to during our first moments of real privacy together. “Not much to talk about. My dad and I don’t get along.”

  “Your mom?” she asks softly.

  I avert my eyes from hers. “Chooses to side with my dad. Always.”

  “Are you an only child?”

  I shake my head. “No, I have a half-sister who came along when I was in fifth grade, the product of an affair my father had.”

  “Oh,” she says, running a fingertip along my breastbone.

  “What about your family?” I ask.

  “I’m close with my parents. I have a younger brother who’s a whiney douchebag most of the time but he’s my little brother so I love him.”

  I laugh. “A whiney douchebag?”

  “He’s just the baby and he always gets everything he wants.”

  I raise a brow. “And you don’t?”

  She purses her lips at me. “Well, I haven’t been properly worked over yet by my new boyfriend, so no, I guess I don’t.”

  I shove my hips toward her, and she giggles. I raise a brow and repeat her words. “Your new boyfriend?”

  Her eyes widen and her face blanches for a second. “Is that not what we are yet?” she asks.

  I can tell she’s about to backtrack when I step in to save her from the embarrassment. “It’s definitely what we are, but I just haven’t heard it out loud yet. It has a nice ring to it.” I lean forward to press my lips to hers, and just before the kiss turns too hot, I remember where I am and cut the action short.

  She groans, I grunt, and we settle into each other’s arms as the anticipation mounts even more between the two of us.

  By the time we pull into Chicago on Saturday morning, I’m ready for a shower and a meal that I’m not eating as I balance a plate on my lap.

  Kylie checks us into our hotel. I was originally assigned to share a room with Brody and Rascal, but we swapped Rascal for Kylie. It doesn’t matter right now, though, because more than likely the private time we’re both waiting for isn’t going to happen unless I can pawn Brody off on someone else.

  We’re all dying to get to the venue, anyway. Our first gig as openers for Vail is tonight, and as much as I want to bang my new girlfriend, my focus needs to be on my career right now.

  I’d be able to think much more clearly if I wasn’t filled with all these raging hormones and unfamiliar emotions, and that’s why I jerk off during the five-minutes I have to take a shower before we have to leave.

  I’m relaxed enough to feel like myself again when I emerge from the steamy bathroom, and after a quick lunch, we’re on our way to meet up with the musicians we’ve idolized for years. Excitement and nervous chatter fills the back of the car as we make our way toward the Rosemont Horizon.

  When we arrive, we’re escorted to a dressing room. Our truck of equipment has already arrived and the roadies that work for Vail have started unloading to get our set ready while Kylie directs them where to put stuff. I’m standing backstage watching her when I feel a presence move beside me. I glance over to find Mark Ashton, who is watching the action alongside me.

  I can’t lose my shit. I can’t lose my shit. I can’t lose my shit. I take a deep breath.

  “Welcome to the tour,” he says.

  “Thanks, man.” I reach over to shake his hand. “We’re thrilled to be here.”

  “You have everything you need?”

  My gaze falls onto Kylie. Almost everything. I nearly say those words, but instead Mark interjects before I have a chance to tell him we’re all set.

  “Is that her?” he asks quietly.

  I return my gaze to the man beside me as my brows come together. “Her?”

  “The girl who pushed you into that reality show,” he clarifies.

  I chuckle then nod. “Yeah, that’s her. You watched it?”

  He shrugs. “My wife made me.”

  I can’t help the laugh that bubbles out of me. “Yeah, right.”

  He laughs. “In my defense, we did appear on one of the episodes.” He nods toward Kylie. “Good catch. Did she see the reunion show?”

  I nod. “Yep, she pulled it up on the bus. And we’ve been stuck on that bus for three days and haven’t really had a chance to, uh...” I trail off, shocked I’m telling Mark Ashton, the man whose career I’ve idolized for as long as I’ve loved music, about my sex woes.

  “Seal the deal?” he finishes for me.

  I shrug. “Yeah.”

  “I’ll see what I can do to help. After that episode we were on, Reese kept telling me she had a feeling you weren’t going to end up with any of the girls. Said she could see it in the look in your eyes that your allegiance was somewhere else.”

  My gaze returns to Kylie. “She was absolutely right.”

  “I can’t tell her that, obviously. She already thinks she’s right about everything.”

  I laugh.

  “You just wait until I tell her the girl you’re in love with is here. She’s going to freak out and start her matchmaker shit.” He shakes his head and rolls his eyes, but it’s clear it’s all in good fun.

  “We’re already matched, but I’ll take any extra magic she can work.”

  “You know, man, I heard a lot about you, and everything I heard reminded me so much of myself when I was your age. I waited until I was almost thirty-five to find the woman I wanted to spend my life with, so I applaud you for finding all that nearly a whole decade ahead of me.”

  “We all meet the right one at different times in our lives, I guess,” I say. I’m not really prepared for this conversation full of depth with my rock star idol, yet I spew all my deepest thoughts on love anyway. “With the others, I always felt like I was missing out on something when I was with them. You know? Like I settled for them for one night and my mind was always somewhere else.”

  He nods. “I remember those days. And then I met Reese, and I didn’t care if I was missing out on something else when I was with her.”

  My eyes follow Kylie as she points to some speakers. She’s holding a clipboard and her cell phone and she looks frazzled and all I want to do is take her in my arms and tell her that everything is going to be okay. “Right. She’s my entire focus and even if there’s something else, it isn’t as important as what I feel for her.”

  “Because you found your person. And you haven’t even sealed the deal.” He shakes his head. “Dude, I’ll hook you up. You deserve this after how they portrayed you on that show. Just give me some time.”

  My good manners tempt me to tell him not to worry about it, but I get the sense that he won’t listen to me, anyway. Besides, whatever he has up his sleeve is probably exactly what Kylie and I need. So instead of protesting, I look over at him gratefully. “Thanks, man.”

  He grins and holds up his hand for a fist bump. “Let’s have a record-breaking tour.”

  “Deal,” I say, hitting his fist with mine.

  30

  “Will this work?” Reese asks,
sweeping her arm out to an empty dressing room that now will belong to Kylie and me.

  I stare at the room in utter shock. “Where did you...when did you...”

  She shrugs. “I worked my magic.”

  Candles seem to glow from every available surface, the lights are dimmed, and music pipes softly from a speaker somewhere in the room. Two wine glasses are filled beside a bottle, and while there isn’t a mattress in here, there is a rather large couch that’s big enough for two to sleep comfortably. The couch is covered with a sheet, and Reese thought of everything.

  “You have about two hours until your soundcheck. I know the Vail boys like to meet about an hour before, so that gives you an hour with her in here. I’ll tackle her list of duties. And the best news is there’s a lock on the door, so do what you need to do. And do it good.” She winks at me, and I chuckle.

  Oh, I’ll do it good. I’ve never had any complaints in that department, though I refrain from bragging about that to the wife of the lead singer of the headlining band on this epic tour.

  “Thank you for doing this,” I say.

  “It was honestly my pleasure. Sometimes I get bored on tour, so watching my own little reality show love story in person is an adventure.” A little girl with dark curls and bright blue eyes comes ambling around the corner and Reese grabs her up in her arms before she runs into the room with all the candles. The girl giggles as Reese plants kisses on her little lookalike’s cheek.

  “Damn, she’s fast,” Mark says. He’s a little winded as he appears behind his wife. “I’m not sure how we’re going to keep up with two of them.” He plants a kiss on Reese’s cheek then looks around the room. “Good work, babe.”