Lust

by Victoria Christopher Murray

  She said, “Hola. ¿Cómo estás?” She said, “Konnichiwa.”

  She said, “Pardon my French,” I said, “Bonjour, madame.”

  Watching her for a moment made me smile and though it didn’t make me forget, my guilt eased up a little more. I hadn’t done anything with Trey—not really. And the most important thing that had happened was that I’d fought and won.

  I had to find a way to let it go. Repent and move on. That would be my new mantra.

  Strolling behind Magic, I took in the celebs sprinkled throughout, as they were at any star-studded King Commotions event. From the Democratic senator to the son of the former Republican president, the Washington journalists and TV ­pundits—I was used to all of them. But it was nice to see a few Hollywood types, and I waved to Will and Jada, whom I’d met a few times before.

  Then I spotted Damon. I’d expected to become tense and tight seeing him, fearful that my husband would be able to sense my sin. But what happened instead was that I relaxed. Just seeing that man calmed me.

  He stood in the center of a semicircle of men all dressed in suits, though he was the only one without a tie; what he wore instead was influence. It was the way the men stood with their attention on Damon, listening, as if they were being given the keys to the secret of life. Watching him for a moment made me even prouder to be his wife.

  As if he felt me, he paused. Then he turned, and he captivated me with that smile.

  I paused, too . . . just stopped moving and stared at him from where I stood. I could have cried because I loved him so much.

  “There’s my beautiful wife.”

  I guess because I’d stopped, Damon came to me. He kissed my cheek. “Mmmmm . . . you smell so good.”

  I said nothing.

  He added, “I guess that’s what happens when you take a shower.” His laugh let me release more guilt. Taking my hand, he led me back to where he’d been standing. I greeted those of his friends whom I knew, and he introduced me to the others. From that moment, I was my husband’s wife, standing tall by his side as we moved through the crowd together, chatting with each guest. We spent the most time with Jaleesa Stone, who’d come to the party with her mother, her aunt, and her bodyguard, whom she introduced as her fiancé. For more than an hour we roamed through the people maze, even stopping for a moment to hang with Sonia and Allen. Right then we heard a salsa beat, and Damon spun me around to the center of the dance floor.

  We shook our shoulders, shifted our feet to the three beats, and turnt up with our favorite rapper and our absolute favorite song: I thank God you came / How many more days could I wait? . . . / I think I’d lie for you / I think I’d die for you . . .

  This was the best moment of the night. I leaned my arms on Damon’s shoulders and his hands rested on my hips as we rocked to Drake’s words and swayed to the beat. When the song ended, I wanted to tell the DJ to play it again.

  But Damon said, “I need a break.” He took my hand and led me upstairs. Even though the DJ and the crowd had moved on to the next song, Damon and I were still singing softly, “I think I’d lie for you, I think I’d die for you . . .”

  That stopped, though, once we stepped into the VIP office, because I was stunned by the expansive space, especially the gigantic windows. “This is amazing,” I said, looking down at the crowd on the dance floor. “You can see everything from here.”

  “And the best part is, no one can see you.” Damon grabbed a bottle of water from a small refrigerator in the corner, took a sip, and handed it to me.

  I shook my head. “I’m good.”

  Taking my hand, he moved me away from the windows and perched himself on the desk, bringing me to stand between his legs. “Are you good?”

  I tilted my head. “What do you mean?”

  He shrugged. “I dunno. You don’t seem like yourself.”

  The strength of our connection frightened me right now, but I kept my calm. “I’m fine,” I said, then rested my head against his shoulder. “I may be a little tired,” I began, thinking that would be a great excuse to cover up anything he saw, “but that’s only because I’ve been working so hard.”

  I felt him nod. “You have. You’ve been doing so much, and I’ve wondered why?”

  Raising my head, I said, “Why?”

  “Yeah. You work for hours at the spa, then come home to your second job—taking care of me.”

  “That’s not a job,” I protested with a pout. “I love taking care of my husband. That seems strange to you?”

  I expected him to back up his words, maybe even apologize and tell me that’s not what he meant. But he just gave me another shrug. “Nah, not strange, but different. It’s different from before, before we were married.”

  “Well, Mr. King”—I wrapped my arms around his neck—“I would think that would be a good thing.”

  He gave me a long stare, and I fought hard to keep eye contact. I couldn’t blink, because if I blinked, I might confess. So I kept my eyes on him and my arms around him. And I did my best not to tremble. When he blinked first, closed his eyes, and kissed my nose, I almost collapsed with relief.

  “Okay, bae. I’m just gonna take this and take you for the blessing that you are to me.”

  “I bet you that you’re a bigger blessing.”

  He gave me a dimpled grin. “Let’s see who’s the bigger blessing later. Right now, let’s get back to the party.”

  I laughed. “Okay. Is there a bathroom up here?”

  “Yeah, over there.” He pointed to a door on the left. “I’ll meet you downstairs when you’re done.”

  “Cool.” I nodded.

  In the bathroom, I took care of my business, then paused to give thanks once again to God. Damon suspected something, of course he would. Our connection was too strong for him to be completely blind. But God was keeping me. Keeping the scales over his eyes, keeping my secret in the dark.

  I paused for a second, remembering something I’d heard about everything always coming to light, but I felt like this was God’s protection. And as long as I kept the vow never to be in that position again with Trey, God would be my shield.

  For the first time all night, really for the first time in weeks, I felt free. But then I stepped out of the bathroom. And froze. Again.

  I was living in a horror movie—the devil kept coming back.

  “What . . .”

  Before I could finish, Trey said, “I was looking for you.”

  “For what?” I moaned.

  He crept toward me like a snake. “Because . . . you know why.”

  For every step he took forward, I took three back.

  “What happened today, Tiff? Why’d you turn me away?”

  “Because I’m married . . . to your best friend.” I wondered if he heard the emotions in my voice. Of course he heard the trembling, but did he hear my fear? Or worse, did he feel my longing, the stirring between my legs?

  If he heard or felt any of it, he didn’t care. All he did was shrug at what I’d just told him. He brushed off my words as if my being Damon’s wife meant nothing. And then he crushed my heart when he said, “Married to my best friend? That hasn’t stopped you before.”

  His truth made me want to cry. “But it should have. Because I love my husband. And that love is what’s stopping me now.” I raised my chin and my shoulders.

  Resist the devil and he will flee.

  “Tiffanie.”

  It was slow and sexy, the way he said my name. He sang it as if it were the last note in a song. A love song . . . no, a lust song.

  He still had a pull on me, I couldn’t deny that. But what I had now was a push, and that’s what I did: held my breath, lowered my eyes, and moved to push past him. He stepped in front of me, blocking my path.

  I inhaled his scent—a mistake, because the fragrance of this man took me back. He leaned tow
ard me the way he always did, his lips aimed for mine. He wasn’t even an inch away from touching me when I took the strength that could only have come from God and slapped him so hard I knew my hand would sting for a week.

  At first I was too stunned to move. So was he. But I found my good sense before he found his, and this time I was the one who fled.

  35

  Damon

  My gut had been talking, but I hadn’t been listening. Now that my ears were open, it made so much sense.

  “You sure you okay?”

  I shifted my glance from the window to Magic in the driver’s seat. His eyes were on the road and that made me glad. Because while I could lie with my words, there were times when I wasn’t such a good liar with my body. And I had no doubt that this was one of those times, since my rage was rising in direct proportion to the number of hours that passed.

  “Yeah. I’m good.” My teeth were clenched as I leaned back and closed my eyes, replaying the truth that played out in front of me tonight.

  I might have missed it all if it hadn’t been for April Ryan. The White House correspondent was far away from her regular gig, but she’d recently started hosting a popular YouTube show, DMV Happenings, and she’d interviewed me a few times. So I wasn’t really surprised when she rolled up with her crew tonight wanting to talk to me about this star-studded event.

  I’d told April that I wanted Tiffanie by my side and she’d be right down. April had been graceful enough to give me five minutes, but when she couldn’t wait any longer, she turned on the lights, the cameras, and got to the action.

  Three hours earlier . . .

  THE INTERVIEW HAD gone quickly, with just a few questions about Jaleesa and tonight’s event, but then April got to the crux of the news that she really wanted to break.

  “You are certainly making your mark on the District,” she said. “What’s this about you buying the two warehouses down here next to DC After Dark?”

  “Now, April, you know I never tell my business.”

  She laughed. “Oh, come on, you can give me just a little piece of news here.”

  I was just about to give her my answer when, from the corner of my eye, I saw Tiffanie rush from the hallway. Even when she stepped into the main part of the club, she kept moving, her eyes lowered. She had to see the bright lights of the camera just a few feet from where she passed; she had to see me. But she didn’t stop, she didn’t look at me, and it didn’t even seem like she was looking for me.

  What was going on?

  “Mr. King?”

  “Ah, yes,” I said, trying to return my glance and attention to April. “There are so many . . .”

  And then I saw Trey. I hadn’t even noticed him come into the club tonight, but there he was. Coming from the same hallway. Following Tiffanie, moving just as fast. He called out to her, but then he paused, turned, and zoned in on me. My frown was deep when our eyes locked and his smile got wider and wider. But it wasn’t just that his lips had curled into a grin of pure pleasure. It was his eyes that really spoke, glaring at me with a look of . . . what was that? Triumph?

  He gave me a single nod and disappeared through the front door.

  “I’m sorry, April . . .” My eyes were still on the door. “I’m sorry. I can’t do this right now.”

  “Okay,” she said, signaling to the cameraman, and the lights dimmed right away. “I think we have enough. Thanks for letting me do this at the last minute.”

  I didn’t acknowledge her gratitude because I was in the hunt. Dashing outside, I looked to the left, I looked to the right. Trey was nowhere to be seen.

  Damn.

  And where was Tiffanie?

  Pulling my phone from my pocket, I pressed her name on the screen. After four rings, my call went straight to voice mail. I waited a second before I rushed back inside, where the music met me and people called out to me. I saw no one and heard nothing as I ran toward the stairs. So many thoughts spun through my head that I felt like I had vertigo and slowed down a bit. Once inside the office, I pressed against the window, looking down onto the floor below, and scanned the bodies. It was approaching midnight, but the crowd had yet to thin, so it took me a moment. Still, I spotted her by the bar, having what I assumed was a glass of wine. She stood alone at the far end, and I watched her, drinking one glass like it was water, then ordering another.

  The impulse of any other man would have been to rush down and start asking questions. But I rarely acted on impulse, especially since I knew that answers often came without a single question being asked. That’s why I pulled out my cell and called Tiffanie again. As I heard the ringing in my ear, I watched her pull her phone from her purse, glance at the screen, then drop her cell back into her bag.

  The muscle in my jaw twitched.

  For a moment, I thought about calling Trey, but I had what I needed. What just went down with Tiffanie sealed it for me.

  I watched my wife for a few minutes more before I trotted down the steps and made my way back into the party. Midnight must have been the bewitching hour, because I was able to move through more easily now. I said my good-byes to Jaleesa and her family, then Will and Jada and others who were leaving. I strolled through with no intention of looking for Tiffanie. I wanted to see how long it would be before she searched for me. I finally felt that tap on my shoulder.

  Turning around, I saw my wife smiling up at me. “I was looking for you, babe.”

  I clenched my teeth, needing a moment so that I spoke the right words. “You were looking for me? For what?”

  My question didn’t even make her flinch. She went right into her role. “To give you one of these.”

  Her lips felt soft and I tasted the white wine as her kiss lingered. For a moment, I wondered if I’d been just plain wrong. And then in the next moment, I wondered where her lips had been. That made me pull back.

  I was never one to pull away from affection, so I knew that would make Tiffanie wonder. After a short frown, she leaned in and asked, “So, how much longer are you going to be here? It looks like it’s winding down.”

  “You ready to go?”

  Her smile widened as she nodded.

  I raised my hand in the air just as Magic walked by.

  “What’s up?” he asked.

  “Take my wife . . . take Tiffanie home.”

  “What?” She blinked as if my words confused her. “No. I want to go home with you. I’ll wait. I don’t mind waiting.”

  “Nah, I know you’re tired. Just go on home.”

  “No . . . I want . . .” It must have been the look on my face that made her ask, “Are you sure?”

  My words were as hard as my stare. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”

  Deep lines dented her forehead. “Oh . . . kay.” She kissed me good-bye; I didn’t respond in any way. She leaned back with questions in her eyes, but she asked nothing and I said nothing.

  I watched as she followed Magic to the door, and right before she stepped outside, she turned to look at me.

  I didn’t blink, I didn’t smile, I just turned my back to her.

  * * *

  EVEN THOUGH MANY hours had passed, I was still turning it all over in my head. There were so many parts and they all fit together. Or did they? It was a big leap thinking that my boy was bangin’ my girl.

  “Boss.”

  Magic’s voice cut through my misery.

  “We’re here.”

  My eyes opened, though I kept them squinted to relieve the pain of the throbbing in my temples. I looked up at my home and thought back to the day that I’d brought Tiffanie here.

  I love you so much, Damon.

  That was what she’d said then, that was what she always said. It was hard to remember each time she’d spoken those words to me, but what I did remember was the sincerity with which she’d said it every singl
e time. Had I been tricked?

  Now I had to go inside this house that I shared with the woman I loved. What I really wanted to do was go to a hotel, stay there a few days, and figure out my next moves. But I’d learned never to tip my hand, never to let the enemy know what you knew.

  The enemy.

  I shook my head. It was crazy that I was thinking about my wife this way. But if she had betrayed me . . .

  “What you wanna do, boss?”

  “You head on home and I’ll call you in the morning.” I gave him dap, then slipped out of the car. My steps were slow and my thoughts were heavy as I walked to the front door.

  It was time to face my wife.

  36

  Tiffanie

  I hadn’t expected to come home early or to come home alone, but as I snuggled in between the sheets and the duvet, I felt such peace. For hours I enjoyed the tranquility that came with rest, and just lay there drifting in and out of consciousness, dreaming about how I’d fought and won. Twice.

  It was over. Whatever hold Trey had over me, whatever curse had attached itself to my DNA—it was broken.

  Still, I prayed that Trey would be leaving DC soon; that was the extra assurance I needed, because the feelings I had weren’t gone. I wasn’t even going to lie to myself about that. The truth was, if I’d given in to what I felt, I’d be laid up in some bed with Trey at this moment. Because I wanted that feeling . . . again. I would never stop wanting that. I’d just have to find a way to get it with Damon.

  Damon.

  The thought of my husband made me roll over so that I was facing our bedroom door. After my encounter with Trey, I’d needed a couple of moments and a couple of drinks to get myself together. But once I’d done that and hooked up with Damon again, he was . . . different. Something had changed.

  I was trying to convince myself that Damon’s actions had nothing to do with me, had nothing to do with Trey. He couldn’t have known, I knew that. But something was bothering him. Maybe it was just exhaustion—he’d worked hard for the success of this event, and for my husband, it wouldn’t be over until the last person walked out of DC After Dark.