Elusive Flame

by Kathleen E. Woodiwiss

  “Your pardon, Capitaine,” the smaller man humbly apologized.“I fear I forgot myself when zee mademoiselle answered me in my own language.”

  “Control yourself, if you can,” Beau urged aridly. “I know Miss Kendall is beautiful, Philippe, but she is my guest, and I would prefer that she not be embarrassed by your ardor.”

  “Oh, Capitaine, I would not wish zhat for zee world,” Philippe declared, wringing his hands fretfully as he faced Cerynise.

  “Then would you mind serving us our meal before it’s too cold to eat?” Beau implored curtly before the man had time to launch into another apology.

  “Of course, Capitaine.” Blushing lightly at his captain’s reprimand, Philippe responded with a clipped bow and promptly clapped his hands.

  Immediately a freckle-faced boy, who had been waiting patiently beyond the threshold, carried a large tray laden with their morning meal through the doorway. When the youth saw Cerynise, he displayed none of the cook’s jubilance, but halted awkwardly in mid-stride, unable to say a word. His jaw slowly descended as he stared agog.

  “This is Billy Todd,” Beau announced, having been chided for his lack of etiquette enough for one day. “He’s my cabin boy and a good sort who generally does his job”—he dropped a hand on the back of the boy’s neck as he continued—“at least when he remembers to keep his eyes in his head and his chin above his shoulders.”

  Billy’s cheeks took on a speckled ruby hue. “Sorry, sir, miss…ma’am…mum…”

  “Miss will do,” Beau informed him bluntly. He had never seen members of his crew so affected by a pretty face before. But then, he had to remember that he hadn’t been exactly clearheaded either when he had held the girl snuggled within his arms. “Now put the tray down, Billy, before you spill something.”

  “Aye, sir,” the cabin boy replied, complying with great dispatch.

  Philippe assisted the youth, and in no time the small table was laden with a rather lavish meal of smoked salmon, crepes with caviar, vegetable ribbons lightly sauteed in lemon butter and, waiting to be enjoyed afterwards, a lime souffle chilled on ice. The latter was considered a rarity for sea voyages, but from Russia, they had brought back a small amount of ice packed in sawdust. Soon the chef and the cabin boy retreated, leaving Beau to assist Cerynise into a chair on his left.

  “For a man who travels across vast oceans, Captain, you seem to enjoy the best that life can offer,” Cerynise commented, surveying the elegantly presented dishes.

  “You needn’t be so formal, Cerynise,” he chided with a grin, lifting his gaze briefly to hers. “You’ve called me Beau for as long as I can remember. I give you leave to continue.”

  At that precise moment Cerynise became convinced that there were no eyes in all the world bluer than the ones which now smiled at her. As a child she had once found herself staring into his mother’s eyes, thinking how beautiful they were. Then later, she had realized they were the same color as Beau’s. Staring into those darkly translucent depths now, it was easy for her to imagine a woman being swept away by admiration for him without a single word being uttered.

  Cerynise mentally shook off the spell he unwittingly cast and scolded herself for acting as addled as a dazzled schoolgirl. “Moon mentioned something about you traveling to Russia.”

  “Some of the fare we now have sitting before us came from there.”

  “It must have been exciting for you to go there, but it seems so far away.”

  “Not nearly as far as you might think, Cerynise. In fact, it’s rather a short jaunt in comparison to sailing around Cape Horn on a voyage to China. Even that will soon be shortened once they perfect the sailing ships they’ve begun to make. Clippers, they’re called, and beauties they are. Being heavily sparred to bear a greater width of canvas and with their hulls as sharp as a razor, they’ll slice through the ocean in no time.”

  “It sounds like you’re married to the sea,” Cerynise replied rather wistfully.

  “Not really,” Beau answered. “I want a home and family just like the next man, but I’ve yet to find a woman who can steal my heart from the sea. Perhaps in another ten years I’ll be ready to give up sailing, for I seriously doubt it will come any time soon.”

  “Stealing your heart will be a difficult task for any woman to accomplish, I think,” Cerynise mused aloud. A pause in their conversation allowed her a moment to sample a crepe. She found it so delectable that she promptly forgot the drift of their discussion and rolled her eyes skyward in sheer delight. “Oh, Beau, the crepes are wonderful! Truly, I’ve never tasted anything so heavenly.”

  A soft chuckle accompanied Beau’s reply. “I’d say that it was the caviar if I wasn’t aware of the talent of a certain chef in my employ. Philippe is so accomplished, I fear I’ll be losing him one day to someone who’ll promise him a kingdom if he would but go and cook for them. He’s been with me for three years now and takes over my kitchen in Charleston whenever we’re at home.”

  “Do you have a house there?” she queried in surprise. “I’d have thought with being gone so much that it would be easier for you to stay with your parents while you’re there.”

  “I enjoy my privacy too much to roost in the wings of Harthaven while my ship is in home port,” he explained, tossing her another grin as he flaked off a piece of salmon with his fork. “Besides, when my father and I are in the same house together for too long, we begin to act like a pair of stallions fenced in the same paddock.”

  The idea of the Birmingham men snorting and stamping about within the confining walls of a house wrenched giggles from Cerynise. Her hilarity was such that a piece of crepe which she had been in the process of swallowing got caught in her throat. She choked and promptly began coughing, trying to dislodge it.

  “Now I’ve done it,” Beau declared, rising to his feet. He caught her hand, bidding her to stand as he stepped close behind her. Much to her astonishment, he slipped his arms about her slender waist. “Now bend over as far as you can go, and try to relax and cough it out.”

  Hanging her upper torso downward over his forearms as he squeezed her ribcage with sharp, quick jerks was the most undignified position that she could have ever been in as far as Cerynise was concerned. She felt very much like an awkward goose of a girl, which some boys had been wont to call her years ago. The long robe only made her more clumsy, for in her attempt to keep her backside a respectable distance from her host, her foot got tangled in the dragging hem and she stumbled backward, falling literally into Beau’s lap as he dipped his knees to catch her. For a moment his arm clasped her tightly to him, and she felt secure, but as she pulled away from his stabling grasp and tried to stand, her foot slipped once more on the robe and she went flying, this time in a lateral direction. Beau flung an arm outward to catch her, but while drawing her back he lost his balance. In the next moment they both sprawled backward, he to the floor and she on top of him.

  Cerynise’s breath rushed forcefully outward in surprise as she fell, and whatever small particle had hitherto been lodged in her throat came free. Although relieved, she didn’t think anything could assuage her embarrassment over her own awkwardness. She could feel her face flaming hotly as she struggled to sit up. Her every thought was on making good her escape, for she was sure by now that Beau was mentally questioning her propensity for calamity, and she didn’t want to lend further weight to any suspicion of that sort. Too late she realized that in her effort to get up, she was now straddling his loins, albeit from a rearward perspective. The swiftly growing firmness beneath her buttocks made her eyes widen. Hot coals might have had the same effect. Scrambling to her feet, she kept her back deliberately presented to the man upon whom she had landed and made a pretense of straightening the wayward robe as she waited for her hot cheeks to cool.

  Beau pushed himself to his feet. He had known well enough that he was in dire need of a woman in his bed, but he hadn’t realized to what extent until Cerynise Kendall had come aboard his ship. Her womanly softness pressing
down upon his loins had ignited a fuse that had proven far too explosive for a display of coolheaded logic. The fact that he greatly desired to have his way with her this very moment was reason enough to hasten her departure to the Mirage. It didn’t matter that she had always been the little girl following at his heels. She was very much a woman now, too beautiful for his peace of mind. He couldn’t trust himself around her, no matter how much he had respected her parents.

  Beau collected his aplomb by gritted-teeth tenacity and, after a moment, was able to gain control of his goading lusts. Returning to the table, he seated himself once more, but he noticed that a deeper blush had invaded his companion’s cheeks and could well assume the reason. He had no idea what Cerynise had learned about men while living in an aging widow’s staid and sterile house, but he could imagine that her knowledge was sorely lacking in that area. If she stayed around him very long, however, that was bound to change. She’d soon come to realize that he wasn’t made of stone. Indeed, he could foresee their relationship coming down to a simple test of endurance, with one of them definitely being pressed to the limit.

  Silence prevailed between them as they finished the meal. Beau’s appetite for food had waned with the blunt realization of his own craving for carnal appeasement. He couldn’t very well take his guest to bed, as much as he might have reveled in the experience with such a fresh subject. Neither could he throw her out of his hungering sight without decent apparel. The only choice that remained was for him to leave the ship. Perhaps when he had the time, he could search out a wench who might satisfy his manly needs. Only then would he be able to act the gentleman in this one’s presence.

  Later that afternoon, Billy Todd rapped his knuckles lightly against the captain’s cabin door and called through the wood, “Miss, are ye awake?”

  “Yes, Billy, just a moment please.” Cerynise clutched the robe closer around her neck and lifted its long skirt as she hurried to answer the summons. She greeted the boy with a smile, but it was no brighter than his. “What is it, Billy?”

  Billy held forth a small bundle of clothing. “Yer pardon, miss, but the cap’n said ye were in need of somethin’ ta wear for the time bein’, an’ what with me bein’ the smallest seaman aboard, he asked if’n I’d be willin’ ta share with ye for a spell.” Seeing her eyes widen in sudden dismay, the lad rushed on to plead, “Please don’t think me forward, miss. The cap’n said ye might be wantin’ ta wear somethin’ ‘sides that there robe o’ his, seein’ as how it’s so big an’ all.” His eyes passed quickly over the length to the slender bare feet and trim ankles showing beneath the raised hem, which dropped abruptly at his inspection. Billy’s freckled cheeks flushed darkly, and in some confusion, he pressed the garments into her hands. “They be clean, miss. I washed ‘em meself.”

  “Oh, I have no doubt they are, Billy,” Cerynise assured him, worrying far more about the propriety of a woman wearing a boy’s clothing. “And it’s very kind of you to offer, but I wouldn’t want to put you out.”

  The look of adoration that briefly swept his face conveyed a willingness to do much more if she but asked him. “Please take ‘em, miss,” he cajoled, “else the cap’n’ll wonder if I even offered ‘em ta ye.”

  Cerynise laughed, brightening the lad’s countenance. “In that case, I think I’d better. I wouldn’t want you to get into any trouble on my account.”

  “Anything else ye need, miss, ye be sure an’ let me know.” Blushing even more fiercely, he added, “I’d be only too glad ta see ta yer wishes.”

  “Thank you, Billy. I’ll let you know if I should think of anything,” she replied, and then directly began to wonder if she would have time to try on the clothes before Beau returned to his cabin. “Will the captain be on deck for a while longer?”

  “Oh, no, miss. The cap’n left ta visit some friends o’ his ‘bout an hour ago, but he said for me ta tell ye he’d be comin’ back ta have dinner with ye later this evenin’. Till then, he asked if’n ye wouldn’t mind stayin’ in his cabin…” Billy sensed that she was waiting for him to continue and, with a lame shrug, explained, “Seein’s as how the men might gawk an’ forget ‘bout their duties if’n ye come up on deck.”

  “The captain bade you to tell me that?” Cerynise queried in surprise.

  Billy winced in chagrin and seemed suddenly unsure of himself. “Well, maybe the last part wasn’t meant for yer ears. Ye won’t tell him I said that, will ye?”

  Cerynise shook her head and smiled. “No, Billy, ‘twill be our secret.”

  The cabin boy sighed in relief. “We ain’t ne’er had a woman on board longer’n a couple o’ hours, miss, so ye can expect our manners ta be a bit raw.”

  “If the other seamen are as gallant as you, Billy, then I have no doubt the Audacious is manned by a crew of gentlemen.” Her smile widened, bringing a glow to his cheeks and a buoyant grin to his lips. She guessed the lad to be only a few years her junior, and although life at sea could sometimes be terribly harsh on the young, in Billy’s case it was obvious that he had landed on his feet. Though as lean as a reed, he looked well nourished, clean and happy, all indications of the integrity of the man who captained the ship upon which he sailed.

  “I’d best get back ta work now, miss. If’n ye need anythin’, just ring the bell what’s outside the door an’ I’ll come runnin’.”

  Soon after the portal had closed behind the boy, Cerynise examined the garments and gingerly tried them on. As slender as she was, she was not without womanly curves, which posed a problem in putting on the narrow duck trousers that were similar in shade to the sails. They had to be worked up over her pantalettes, for there was no way she would consider wearing the rough cloth next to her skin. She’d surely be chafed raw. After buttoning them, she adjusted the small mirror on the shaving stand and considered the results, turning this way and that to view every angle. The front was vulgar enough to brighten her cheeks, but when she caught sight of her backside, she gasped in astonishment, for the pants showed nearly every detail, cleaving to her buttocks like a second skin and snuggling into the cleft between. Even without Beau’s request. Cerynise knew it would have taken a team of stout drays to drag her up on deck. Wearing such indecent garb around seamen would be an open invitation for them to do more than just gape.

  The tail of the shirt was long enough to cover her hips, allowing her to wear the ducks with some measure of modesty, but the fabric was soft after many washings. Seeing how it clung to her breasts, Cerynise quickly dispensed with the notion of wearing a corset, which would have pressed her bosom close to overflowing the top of her camisole with no doubt imprudent results. Even the most casual glance into the neck of the garment would convince the viewer of her lack of modesty.

  Despite her qualms about wearing Billy’s clothes, Cerynise decided there was no harm in making use of them while Beau was away and she had the cabin to herself. The long robe hindered her movements and was so wide across the shoulders that it was forever falling open to her waist. Still, if Billy or someone else came in, she’d have to seek the enveloping folds of the larger garment to hide what the lad’s clothing readily displayed.

  Billy Todd returned a couple of hours later to inquire whether she was hungry or not. Cerynise declined his pleas to eat, telling him that she preferred to rest instead. She still felt drained from the events of the past week, and she could think of no better succor for her physical and mental well-being than sleep and relaxation.

  Folding down the coverlet on Beau’s bunk, she laid the robe on the mattress near the wall where it would be easily accessible if there came a need while she napped. She snuggled beneath the comforter and closed her eyes, thankful for the hospitality her host had extended to her.

  The realization of Beau’s absence began to settle down upon Cerynise as she stuffed his pillow beneath her head and became aware once more of the elusive scent of the man. It came as something of a shock to her that she was just as susceptible to his absence as she was to his presence. The wom
an she had become was hardly much different from the youngling she had once been. Long ago she had pined her heart away after Beau had gone to sea, but now, with only a short interval since his departure, she found herself eagerly anticipating his return. Considering their lengthy separation over the last five years and the voyages that had kept him away prior to her taking residence in England, Cerynise could find no cause for the hollow feeling that now plagued her in his absence. It seemed farfetched to think that one man could move her to such extremes, yet when she compared the joy she had experienced over their reunion to the strange, inexplicable yearning that presently thwarted her mood, what else could she lay it to?

  With the exception of another brief visit from Billy Todd in the middle of the afternoon, when he had brought her tea and crumpets, the hours passed slowly in the solitude of the cabin. Soon after the tea tray was taken away, Cerynise strolled to the gallery windows and curled up on the padded seats cushioning the storage compartments that had been built underneath. She was enthralled with the activity along the wharf and would have enjoyed painting the ever-changing scenes and the variety of people whom she could see through the small panes of glass. The sounds that flowed from the quay were muted by the transparent barrier, but not so much that she couldn’t hear them altogether. Finely garbed gentlemen rubbed shoulders with swarthy seamen, while plump merchants tried to shoo off ragged urchins who wouldn’t desist their pleading until a handful of coins was tossed in their direction. Fishwives strolled along with baskets balanced on ample hips, hawking their wares. Other vendors wheeled carts laden with vegetables, fruit, eggs, and all manner of fresh foods. Cerynise saw Monsieur Philippe bustling out to greet several, and on occasion, a sailor had to be called to help carry back the abundant purchases.

  As twilight approached, the activity on the quay diminished, but a different sort of peddler became more prevalent. The gaudy garb and heavily painted faces of the harlots clearly marked their profession even before they began to call out to passing sailors or to the men on the Audacious. They were not above displaying a goodly length of thigh or lowering their blouses to a greater depth to entice customers. Some even went so far as to show off swelling mounds with vividly rouged nipples. Cerynise felt her own face flaming at their wantonness, and yet, after her own recent experience with being destitute, she couldn’t help but sympathize with their plight, though she thought she’d rather be dead than exist by selling her body to strangers.