Say You Love Me

by Rita Herron

“Yes.”

  “Who else has access to your office?”

  “Just R.J., the head of the magazine.” She ran a hand through her hair. “And Ralphie, the young college kid we hired to sort mail.”

  “I’ll need to talk to both of them.”

  Britta frowned. “Trust me, Detective, Ralphie had nothing to do with this. He’s just a kid.”

  “He has male chromosomes, Miss Berger. Trust me, I know what young men are like.”

  Her face paled and he ground his teeth, hating to frighten her, but she shouldn’t trust anyone. Especially with all the crazies in town. “How about your boss?”

  A nervous look flickered in her eyes. “R.J. is hard-working, innovative and knows how to make money. We have a business relationship, that’s all.”

  Jean-Paul arched an eyebrow, wondering why she’d offered that tidbit, then removed the contents from the envelope. Damn it to hell and back.

  The picture was of his crime scene.

  The auburn-haired woman was tied to the bed, her face contorted in agony, her chest pierced with the lancet. The torn red teddy, the mask of the part crocodile, part human head on the wall, the CD player, the obscene makeup—the details were identical to the murder scene he’d just processed.

  Even more alarming, the victim faintly resembled Britta Berger. Not as good-looking or striking, but her hair color and complexion were similar.

  “Did anyone touch the photo besides you?”

  “Just my boss. I showed it to him to ask his advice.”

  “You weren’t going to call the police?”

  “I wasn’t sure it was real, that…the woman was really dead.”

  He contemplated her answer, then nodded. “You have no idea who sent this?”

  “No.”

  “Have you ever received anything like this before?”

  “No. Most of the photographs are sent directly to our photography department. Our legal department handles any contacts with submissions.”

  He made a disgusted sound but she continued.

  “Our magazine doesn’t support murder or violence, Detective Dubois, just healthy sexual fantasies.”

  His gaze met hers, emotions flaring in her exotic brown eyes, but also defiance.

  “Still, some of those fantasies border on the sadistic side,” he argued. “They come from perverts, sickos, deranged individuals.”

  “Everyone has their own tastes,” she admitted quietly.

  And his lay toward sweet, simple, quiet, more domestic family-type women like Lucinda. Not with spooky redheads with fire in their eyes. Ones who looked as untamed as a hot July New Orleans night. This one, he imagined, had seen the seedy side of life and not cowered from it. A vixen in disguise.

  One who had secrets.

  “Did you know this woman?”

  “No, I’ve never seen her before.” She bit down on her lip. “Why, Detective? Is it real?”

  He met her gaze head-on. “Yes. I just came from the crime scene. I’m afraid this woman was murdered.”

  A faint gasp escaped her. “Oh God, no.” A heartbeat of silence stretched between them, taut, filled with unanswered questions. “Who was she?” she finally asked.

  “We’re still working on identifying her.” He cleared his throat, lowering his voice. “I’d like for you to keep this confidential. No press. No publication of this picture. Don’t tell anyone else that you received it. Understood?”

  Britta nodded. “Of course. We’ll help any way we can.”

  Her mouth twitched slightly as if she wanted to say more, but she clamped her teeth over her lower lip instead.

  He shifted and tapped the envelope with one finger. “Has this man written you before?”

  “You mean for the column?”

  “Yes.”

  She massaged two fingers to her temple. “I…don’t know. But I’ll review our prior issues and see if I find anything that appears connected.”

  “I’d also like to take copies of the magazine with me. And don’t forget the letters you didn’t print.”

  Alarm shot through her eyes. “There must be hundreds.”

  “Bring them to the station. My partner and I will help sort through them.”

  Wariness pulled at her features but she agreed.

  “You also mentioned a note?” He held out his hand. “Let me see it.”

  She handed him the sheet of charcoal-gray paper, and he read the message silently.

  I know your secrets.

  And you know mine.

  His gaze rose again to meet hers. “What does he mean by that? He knows your secrets?”

  She remained so still that he didn’t think she was going to answer. But fear momentarily settled in her eyes. “I assume he’s referring to the magazine,” she said in a low voice. “My column is called Secret Confessions.”

  Liar. “It sounds more personal.” He closed the distance between them. “I think you know more than you’re telling. You may even know the killer. At least, he knows you.”

  She lifted her chin a notch. “A lot of people who write into the magazine think they know me.”

  “You’re hiding something, Miss Berger.” He leaned across the desk, so close his face was only a breath away. So close he inhaled the hypnotic scent of her perfume.

  So close he felt the tension vibrate in her lean muscles.

  “But secrets have a way of coming out. And before this investigation is over, I will find out exactly what you’re keeping from me.”

  CHAPTER THREE

  “I WILL FIND OUT exactly what you’re keeping from me.”

  Detective Dubois’s warning echoed in Britta’s head as she searched her memory for any confession letters that might have hinted at violence or murder.

  What if the killer had written to her in advance and she had ignored the warning or completely missed it? Maybe she could have saved this woman if she’d paid more attention….

  Disturbed by the thought, she bagged the last two months’ submissions to carry to the police station the next day. For now, she had to take a walk. Clear her head.

  The stench of beer, alcohol, smoke, sweat, urine and garbage permeated Bourbon Street. The raucous laughter and horny, groping drunken strangers were a dreaded experience.

  But living on the streets had taught her how to deal with them. The thought of holing up in her apartment above the office with back copies of the magazine—alone with her own demons—was something she couldn’t face yet.

  She’d walk to the Market, lose herself in the local musicians and artists, grab a bite of supper. Her stomach growled, reminding her she’d missed lunch. The possibility of a nice crisp crab salad or bowl of seafood gumbo made her mouth water.

  She checked over her shoulder for the hundredth time to make certain no one was following her as she wound through the chaotic crowd. A man wearing a patch over his right eye whispered an invitation for her to join him in the pub next door, but she rushed past, aware the man tracked her as she disappeared into the throng. Next door, another club offered half-priced drinks along with pole-dancing, featuring the mammoth-breasted Moaning Mona. Two dregs wearing ratty T-shirts that read “I fuck like a Mack Truck,” grunted an invitation for drinks and a threesome. And a group of bikers boasting tattoos of snakes and tribal symbols huddled around an outdoor table, guzzling beer and making catcalls to the girls flashing their boobs for free drinks and beads.

  She plunged through the tawdry mob, south toward Jackson Square and the French Market where the less seedy side congregated in the outdoor cafés, finer restaurants, the open market and shops that comprised the Vieux Carre. Although street musicians and artisans normally flocked to the area, now an open-air festival had been set up with artisans showcasing their creations, demonstrating techniques, offering sketches for the tourists and squabbling over prices for their treasures.

  A clown created balloon animals for the children in one corner, a mime entertained in another and a long-haired hippie rasped out music on a washbo
ard for pocket change. Down the street, the famous jazz music of Louis Armstrong flowed from a restaurant while blues tunes paying homage to Fats Domino wailed into the steamy sultry air. Patio gardens and flowerboxes from the delicately carved balconies added color and a sweet fragrance. This was the N’Awlins she loved.

  She seated herself at her favorite outdoor café, ordered a glass of pinot grigio and a crab salad, then studied the crowd as she sipped the wine.

  But the hair on the back of her neck bristled. Someone was watching her.

  She scanned the streets again. Oblivious to her unease, the air buzzed with activity and excitement, celebrating life and the renewal of the city. A mime plucked a coin from behind a little girl’s ear, while puppeteers drew the small kids in droves. Families littered the streets, carrying tired children with painted faces, cotton candy and tacky souvenirs, tugging at heart-strings she tried to ignore.

  She banished them quickly. She was not a family kind of girl.

  Instead her past mocked her. And the whisper of danger echoed in her ear….

  I know your secrets. And you know mine.

  No. It was impossible. She’d never told anyone about her childhood. Especially about that night.

  And her mother…. Surely she wouldn’t have confessed to anyone. That is, if she’d survived herself.

  Then again, her mother had done other unspeakable things.

  The washboard player took a break and an earthy-looking saxophone player claimed his spot, adding his own jazz flavor to old favorites. She glanced behind him, toward the edge of the street, and noticed a tall, bald man holding a camera. Her fork clattered to the table. Was he photographing her?

  She craned her neck to see more clearly and he lowered the camera. Shadows from the silvery Spanish moss shrouded his face as if he’d been cocooned in a giant spiderweb. Then he lifted his right hand and waved. Her breath caught in her chest.

  A series of flashes flickered like fireflies against the growing darkness. Once. Twice. A dozen times. She blinked and threw her hand over her forehead, spots dancing before her eyes.

  He was watching her. Taking pictures….

  For what reason?

  Panic and anger mushroomed inside her and she stepped forward to go confront him, but the waiter appeared with her check and blocked her path.

  “Chere? You pay before you leave us? Qui?”

  She sighed, removed her wallet and paid. But when she glanced across the street, the man had completely disappeared, lost in the darkness and the sins waging the city.

  * * *

  HOWARD KEITH STOOD nursing a Jax, a locally brewed beer, across the street, shielded by the exuberance of the Mardi Gras festivities. Britta Berger had actually noticed him.

  Of course he was at a distance and she couldn’t see his face.

  Howard’s right hand went to his prosthetic eyeball and he blinked, feeling it slip out of place. He popped it out, dusted it off, then slipped it back inside his eye pocket, blinking to create enough moisture to force the fake eye to settle.

  Of course, he tried not to handle the ocular prosthetic in public, at least not in front of women. They tended to balk at the empty eye socket.

  Although even with his eye in place, they were put off by his appearance. They never knew quite where to look, where to focus, so they averted their gazes and studied his feet, his stomach, his hands, anything but his face. And within seconds they rushed away, dismissing him as if he was a freak.

  He would show them. Prove them wrong.

  His fingers tightened on the camera. Even his interest in photography had garnered laughter and disbelief. How could he truly be an artist when he had no peripheral vision? No depth perception?

  The camera compensated. Its powerful lens enabled him to capture the planes and angles, the light and shadows, the depth he wanted, and record it in vivid detail. And New Orleans certainly provided enough colorful characters, scenery and entertainment to feed his camera-frenzied mind.

  Then he could do with it as he wished. Create masterpieces with his sketches, mold the faces into sculptures if he chose. Give the subjects life forever. Paint the eyes.

  The eyes were the windows to the soul.

  Did Britta Berger have any idea that he had seen into hers? That he had been watching her for months? That he knew her schedule. The food she chose for breakfast. The way she liked her coffee. The fact that she enjoyed a glass of wine on her patio at night before she retired. That she brushed her short red hair at least a hundred times before she crawled beneath the sheets.

  That she slept without underwear.

  That he’d seen her naked in the shower, her own hands stroking over sensitive private places that he ached to touch.

  Yet, the seductress that he saw thrived on privacy. She was an enigma. He’d discovered that in his research. In her own way, she was hiding from life itself.

  The vulnerability in her eyes had drawn him. She wanted someone to reach out and make the pain of her past dissipate. But she was afraid. After all, underneath her physical beauty lay lies, weaknesses, false promises. Evil.

  Yes, a bad girl lurked inside Britta Berger and he would show the world her true self, just as he would with his other subjects. If it hurt them, then so be it.

  His own pain had brought him to this point. He used it. Thrived upon it. It had inspired the theme for his work, which would hopefully gain him acclaim.

  Then the beautifuls would be erased, their ugliness exposed forever.

  * * *

  IRRITATION KNOTTED Jean-Paul Dubois’s shoulders as he drummed his knuckles on R.J. Justice’s desk. Dammit. Time was critical. He had a murder to investigate and the magazine owner had kept him waiting for half an hour.

  Long enough for him to decide he didn’t like the man. That he was weird. His office collections indicated an interest in S and M, witchcraft, bestiality and photographs that bordered on porn.

  Justice finally loped in, tugging at his tie. “Sorry about that. My meeting ran over.”

  Jean-Paul ignored the feigned apology and studied the man’s features, sizing him up. The women might call him handsome but a cold hardness that Jean-Paul had detected in other suspects hinted that he was ruthless and calculating. He would do whatever he had to do to protect Naked Desires. And to get what he wanted in his personal life.

  “You met with Britta already?” Justice asked as he settled into his desk chair.

  Jean-Paul nodded. “She was very helpful.” Britta had claimed she and Justice were simply business partners. Just how did Justice feel about her?

  “She was upset,” Justice said. “Were her fears justified?”

  “I’m afraid so.”

  Justice ran a hand over his sleek desk. “Damn. So the crime scene was real?”

  Jean-Paul nodded. “We found the woman in the photo murdered earlier.” He leaned forward, his gaze penetrating. “You don’t seem surprised.”

  Justice shrugged. “I realize our magazine caters to the…adventuresome side, so we get some odd mail. But we certainly don’t condone murder.”

  Jean-Paul narrowed his eyes. “I asked Miss Berger to bring all the mail she’s received in the past month to the station. It’s possible this guy wrote in before.”

  Justice hesitated. “I suppose that sounds fair, although I would like to keep our magazine out of the investigation when you talk to the press.”

  “You don’t want the publicity?”

  Justice shrugged. “I can stand it, but I was thinking about Britta’s safety.”

  “Of course.” Jean-Paul cleared his throat, not certain he believed the man. What if Justice had killed the woman, then sent the photo to Britta anonymously to stir publicity?

  “Do you keep a record of the submissions with the sender’s name and address?”

  “Yes. In a secure file.”

  “Who sent this photo?”

  “I’m afraid I don’t know,” Justice said matter-of-factly. “I checked and the envelope wasn’t logged
in. Ralphie must have found it in the overnight-mail slot and put it on Britta’s desk.”

  “Then I need to speak to him.”

  Justice punched a button on the intercom and ordered the boy to come to his office.

  Jean-Paul stood. “Mr. Justice, can you tell me anything that might help us find the killer? Did you know the victim? Had you ever seen her before?”

  Justice steepled his fingers as if in thought. “No. Should I know her?”

  “Not necessarily, but I have to ask.”

  “What was her name?”

  “We haven’t identified her yet.” Jean-Paul paused. “How about the cabin? Did you recognize it?”

  Justice scoffed. “That shanty could be any one of a hundred tucked in the bayou.”

  Jean-Paul pushed on, “Have you received any calls or letters yourself that might be related?”

  “I would have reported it if I had, Detective.”

  “Can you think of any reason the killer targeted Miss Berger with the photograph?”

  Justice raised a brow. “She’s a beautiful woman. Maybe the killer saw her photo in the magazine and wanted to get her attention.”

  “You’re probably right,” Jean-Paul admitted, although his gut instinct hinted there was more. And that Justice was holding back. Maybe he was the one fixated on her. Maybe he’d killed a replica of her to frighten her into his arms.

  “How long have you known Miss Berger?” Jean-Paul asked.

  Justice’s hands tightened by his side. A telltale sign that the question stirred his anxiety. “A few months.”

  “And your relationship is…?”

  “Strictly business,” Justice said with a predatory gleam flashing in his eyes.

  “Has she been involved with anyone recently? Someone who might want to hurt her?”

  “Not that I know of,” Justice said in a curt tone.

  “You haven’t noticed any strange men hanging around? Maybe outside?”

  “No.” Justice cleared his throat. “Well, except for that Reverend Cortain and his religious group. They’re harassing us.”

  “By protesting the publication of Naked Desires?”

  Justice heaved a sigh. “Yes. That idiot reverend is leading the madness. If you ask me, he’s a psycho himself. Maybe you should check into him.”