His to Protect: A Brook Brothers Novel

by Delaney, Tracie

Although she was staying in his brother’s room, and he’d been inside lots of times, it felt weird. He glanced around, noticing the odd little feminine touches she’d added. A photo frame on the nightstand with a couple in their late fifties. A small reed diffuser on the dresser, which smelled of lemon, thyme, and rosemary.

  “I hope it’s okay to have a few personal things scattered around,” she said, clearly spotting him checking out the room. “It’s nothing that can’t be cleared away in a few minutes.”

  “Of course it is.” He wandered across to the nightstand and picked up the photograph. “Your parents?”

  She nodded. “Now that Tanner hasn’t been back, I’m hoping to visit them at their house soon.”

  Seeing an opening, Cole asked, “He hasn’t been in touch then?”

  “Nope.”

  “Good.”

  Her lips lifted slightly when she bent down to tie her sneakers. By the time she straightened it had disappeared. She slung her purse over her shoulder. He stepped forward, removed it, then placed it over her head, fixing the strap diagonally across her body. Her brow furrowed into a frown.

  “I’m a cop, remember. Safety first.”

  He released the collar of her jacket from beneath the strap, his thumb skimming the delicate skin of her neck. He paused. Their eyes met. For the briefest moment, he could have sworn she leaned in, and then she readjusted the strap and took a step back.

  “Ready when you are.”

  Dammit. Another opportunity lost.

  They grabbed a bite to eat in a small café and then went for a walk in Central Park. The pathways were filled with people exercising their dogs, joggers braving the last of the summer heat, tourists on bikes whizzing by. Cole stopped by a bench and indicated for her to sit.

  “I wanted to talk to you.”

  She cocked an eyebrow. “That sounds ominous.”

  “You were right before. I have been avoiding you.”

  “Oh?” Her fingers fiddled with a stray piece of cotton on her floaty white top.

  “I need to know what’s going on, between us, I mean.”

  Her eyes widened. “Us?”

  He rubbed his forehead with the tips of his fingers. “I don’t mean us, us. I mean… Jesus, fuck.”

  Her lips curved into a small smile. “Spit it out, Cole.”

  “Why did you kiss me?”

  Her eyes widened, and she nervously slid her fingers beneath the collar of her jacket, as though she found it too tight. “Oh. Um. I thought that might have upset you.”

  He gently cupped her chin, tilting her face up to his. “It didn’t upset me but it did confuse me. I’m not sure what you meant by it.”

  She expelled a soft sigh, her teeth nibbling inside her cheek. “Honestly, I don’t know. I guess I saw something in you, a warmth, a tenderness maybe. I don’t think I’ve ever been looked at like that in my whole life. And with what I’ve gone through with Tanner…” She tugged her bottom lip between her thumb and forefinger, which drew his eye to her mouth. “Like that. You’re doing it again. I guess I just needed to feel…like someone saw me. Not just Tanner’s downtrodden wife. Me.”

  His heart stuttered, a staccato beat that stole his breath. He raised a hand to her face and caressed his knuckles across her cheek.

  “I see you.”

  Before Millie could respond, a hand grabbed Cole by the shoulder and yanked, hard.

  “Don’t touch what you don’t fucking own.”

  Cole regained his balance and launched to his feet, facing Tanner, fury racing through him, not just at the fact that Tanner had dared to put his hands on him, but because he’d said owned in relation to Millie.

  “Are you fucking following us?” Cole accused, his jaw jammed tight, fists clenched, ready to break the fucker’s nose. Cop training be damned.

  Millie leaped up beside him.

  “Cole, don’t.” She took hold of his arm. “I don’t want you to lay a finger on him.”

  And then she put her body between them. She fucking stood between them. Her hand went to Cole’s chest, her eyes pleading with him to stay calm.

  “What do you want, Tanner?” she asked, turning away from Cole.

  “I want you back.”

  Cole ground his teeth. He moved to the side, ready for action the moment Millie needed him. Because, fuck, did he want to wipe the smug grin off that bastard’s face.

  “Why?”

  Cole’s eyes widened. He had not expected that question.

  “Because I love you. Because I know I’ve not been the best husband. Because I want a second chance to make it all right.”

  That did it. Cole couldn’t keep quiet a second longer. “You don’t fucking love her. Love isn’t abuse, or control, or ownership.”

  “Cole, please.” Millie touched his arm again and gave a slight shake of her head.

  The fuck is going on here?

  “Don’t tell me you’re considering listening to his bullshit?”

  “I’m sorry,” Tanner said, playing the contrite card to perfection. “He’s right. I haven’t loved you the way you deserved, or taken care of you, or treasured you. But you leaving has given me the wake-up call I needed. I’ll do anything to get you back. Anything. Please just give me a chance. That’s all I’m asking for.”

  “You hurt me, Tanner. Over and over. You chipped away at my self-esteem until I was barely a shadow of the girl you married. You said terrible, hateful things. You made me fear you. That’s not love.”

  “Baby, I’m sorry.” The little shit caught her hand and pressed it against his chest—and she let him. “We had some good times, Millie. Some great times. I know we can have that again. I’ve been stressed, that’s all. You know how difficult it’s been for me to stand on the sidelines and watch all those young players live my dream. To know I could have had it all and have everything I’d worked years for snatched away. Please, baby. I’m only asking for a chance to talk. We’ve given each other ten years. Can’t you give me one more hour?”

  A bolt of fear raced through Cole when she bowed her head. Chilled to the bone, despite the heat of the late summer day, he knew. She was going to go back to Tanner. He could see it in the curve of her shoulders, the lack of eye contact, the staring down at her feet.

  “Okay, let’s talk,” she said, her tone full of defeat, of acceptance.

  Tanner gave him a triumphant smirk and threw his arm around Millie’s shoulder which, by the way, she didn’t shake off. As they started to walk away, she glanced over her shoulder.

  “I’m sorry,” she mouthed, and then she left him—again.

  Chapter 13

  “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

  Cole slammed his fist into the bench and then offered an apologetic smile to a mother passing by with her young son. She glared at him as she walked away, muttering under her breath.

  Energy—the bad kind—buzzed through him. He launched to his feet and set off running. He needed to burn off this frustration before it drove him crazy—or he chased after Tanner and took out ten years of resentment on his self-satisfied face.

  He couldn’t remember how long he ran for, but he found himself outside the hotel, dripping in sweat, his jeans and shirt clinging to him, hair plastered to his forehead. He ran downstairs at breakneck speed and strode across the living room. He grabbed a beer from the fridge, not caring that it wasn’t yet eleven. He couldn’t give a shit that he had a shift later that evening.

  “What the hell happened to you?” Calum asked, flicking the TV off. “Running after a perp?”

  Cole twisted the cap off the bottle and flicked it toward the trash can. He missed.

  “You don’t want to know.”

  Calum rose from the couch and slid onto a stool at the breakfast bar. “I think I do. You’re drinking before twelve. I’ve never seen you do that. Your eyes are flashing all kinds of shit, which is never good.” He leaned across the counter and sniffed. “And you need a fucking shower, bro.”

  “Screw you,” Cole mu
ttered, taking a long swig of beer. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

  Calum took the bottle from his hand and helped himself to a drink. Cole snatched it back. “Get your own.”

  Calum shrugged and jumped down from his seat. “As it’s Saturday, I think I will. And then you can tell me what the hell is going on.”

  Ignoring him, Cole left his beer on the counter and headed toward his bedroom.

  “Where the fuck you going?” Calum called out.

  “Shower,” Cole threw back.

  “You can run, but you can’t hide,” Calum hit back.

  Cole slammed the door to his bedroom, stripped off his clothes, and jumped into the shower. He set it to fucking freezing. Ten minutes later, shivering but a lot calmer, he dried off and dressed. When he went back into the living room, Calum was still sitting at the breakfast bar. He’d gotten Cole a fresh beer and was sipping one of his own.

  “Sit your ass down,” Calum demanded, pointing at the chair next to his.

  Cole reluctantly did as Calum ordered.

  “Okay.” Calum passed him the bottle of beer. “Why don’t you start from the top.”

  Cole huffed out a breath and peeled away the label on the bottle. “I took Millie for breakfast to ask her why she kissed me and—”

  “Whoa, she kissed you? When did this happen?”

  “Can you let me finish?” Cole snapped.

  Calum gestured. “Go ahead.”

  Cole rolled his eyes. “Like I said, I asked her why she did it, and what it might mean, and just when I thought I was getting somewhere, fucking Tanner turned up.”

  Calum’s eyebrows shot up. “Jesus. He’s persistent, I’ll give him that.”

  “Yep.”

  “No way was that coincidental.”

  “Agreed,” Cole said. “I don’t believe in coincidence. I think he’s been following her for some time.”

  Calum shuddered. “Creepy as fuck.”

  “You said it.”

  “So, what happened?”

  “He pretended to grovel. She fell for it. They disappeared into the sunset. The End.”

  “You’re shitting me.”

  Cole tore the beer label in half. “Wish I was.”

  “What did you do?”

  “What the hell could I do? They’re married. I’m supposed to, what, drag her off against her will just because I’ve been crazy about her since I was sixteen?”

  “Crazy about who?”

  Calum and Cole turned around at the same time. “Hey,” Calum said, holding his hand out to Laurella. He pulled her to his side, pressing a kiss to her temple.

  Envy curled in Cole’s gut. He was so goddamn ready to settle down, to have that kind of intimacy with a woman—except he only wanted one woman, and unfortunately for him, she’d chosen her deadbeat husband instead.

  Life. Fucking. Sucked.

  “Who are we talking about?” Laurella asked as she sat beside Calum.

  “No one.”

  “Millie.”

  Cole glared at Calum. “No one,” he reiterated. It was hard enough baring his fractured soul to his twin, without bringing said twin’s girlfriend into the mix.

  “He’s lying,” Calum stated. “Millie has gone off with Tanner, and this idiot here stood by while Millie’s abusive dick of a husband waltzed off with the love of Cole’s life. This was all after she kissed him, which kinda pisses me off, because if she messes with him, she messes with me.” He grinned. “And she really doesn’t want to mess with me.”

  “I fucking hate you,” Cole said.

  “Okay, slow down,” Laurella said gently, her gaze fixed on Cole. “That’s a lot of information to process in a few seconds. You love Millie?”

  Cole shook his head. “I don’t love her.” But I could. And it wouldn’t take much. “I like her, and I’m worried about her because Tanner is a bastard. I’m concerned she’ll fall for his bullshit and end up right back where she started.”

  “What makes you think she’ll do that?”

  “Because he’s a manipulative prick who played her like a fucking violin. Threw himself at her mercy. Told her he loves her, he needs her, how desperately he wants her back. Yada yada. She agreed to talk to him.” He checked his watch. “That was over two hours ago.”

  “Give her some credit,” Laurella said, an impatient edge to her tone. “Of course she’s going to talk to her husband. I don’t know her very well, but she probably thinks she owes him a hearing. But she’s not a stupid girl, far from it. I can’t even begin to presume the level of courage it must have taken for her to finally leave him, and now she has, I’d be surprised if she went back.”

  Cole scrubbed a hand over his face in frustration. “Except, they normally do.”

  Laurella frowned. “They?”

  “Abused women, when the abuser is the victim’s spouse. It’s textbook. I researched it after Millie told me what had been going on with Tanner. The women put up with shit from their husbands for years, allowing their self-esteem to slowly be eroded. The abuser fills their heads with doubt, the constant criticism ravaging them until there’s nothing left but an empty shell. There will be a trigger, something that makes them pluck up the courage to leave. They do. Then the husband begs for forgiveness, and they go back. The abuse cycle starts all over, oftentimes worse because the abuser has to ‘punish’ the abused for daring to leave them in the first place.” His legs trembled, and he put a hand on the counter to steady himself. “I don’t want that for Millie, but I’m scared that’s exactly what’s going to happen.”

  “It’s not.”

  Cole’s head spun around so fast, he cricked his neck. Millie was standing at the bottom of the stairwell, fiddling with the hem of her shirt. How long had she been there? How much had she overheard?

  “Hey,” he said softly, making his way toward her. “You okay?”

  “I’m not going back to Tanner.” Her tone was firm, resolute.

  Cole gave Calum and Laurella a look that said ‘fuck off’. They read him well because they both got to their feet.

  “We’ll leave you to it,” Laurella said, stopping to sweep her hand down Millie’s arm. “Anything you need, cara.”

  Millie shot her a tight but grateful smile. “Thank you.”

  Calum’s hand pressed in the small of Laurella’s back, and as he passed Millie, he, too, smiled. “You’re making the right decision. The smart decision.”

  “Do you want something to drink?” Cole offered after they’d left. “Coffee? Juice?”

  She pointed at the bottles of beer he and Calum had half-finished. “I’ll take one of those if that’s all right.”

  “Sure thing.” Cole took a fresh one out of the fridge and twisted off the cap. This time, when he aimed at the trash can, he didn’t miss. Maybe that was an omen?

  She picked at the corner of the label on the bottle of beer, her gaze avoiding his. “I’m sorry.”

  His pulse jumped. That could mean anything. Good or bad. “For what?”

  She slowly raised her head. “For being so much trouble.”

  “You’re no trouble.”

  She grimaced. “I think you’re being overly kind. I mean, sure, we were friends at school, but you don’t owe me anything. Yet you’ve given me a job and a place to stay. You’ve shown me friendship and kindness. I shouldn’t have just walked off on you like that. I guess I thought I owed him some sort of explanation. I wasn’t brave enough to face him in Chicago, and so I left a note and my house key, and ran. But somehow, these last few weeks…” She chewed the inside of her cheek. “My self-confidence, my sense of who I am is returning, but slowly. I have a long way to go, although every day I feel more and more like the person I used to be. I don’t jump every time I see someone in the street who reminds me of Tanner. I’m waking up less and less in the middle of the night with sweaty palms and heart palpitations. I only look over my shoulder a hundred times a day instead of a thousand. You’ve given me the belief that, one day, I could b
e safe.”

  He captured her hand. “You are safe.”

  She grinned. It brightened her whole face, and, in turn, lit up his insides. Should he tell her how he felt? Maybe now was the right time, especially as she’d been so firm about her relationship with Tanner being over.

  Then she blew his hopes to smithereens with her next words.

  “You’re such a good friend, Cole.”

  There it was. The harsh reality he didn’t want to hear. His stomach twisted painfully, like his guts were being wrung out. He formed his face into a smile, but it felt all wrong. “That’s me,” he said cheerfully, when all he really wanted to do was to punch something. Where’s Calum when I need him?

  She tugged her hand from beneath his and got down from the stool. “Well, I’ve taken up enough of your day, so I’ll let you do your thing. Thanks again for being so great, especially about the kiss and all.”

  She disappeared into her bedroom without a backward glance—and once again, he did nothing to stop her.

  Fuck, fuck, fuck.

  Chapter 14

  Millie woke early the next morning with a pounding headache caused by an interrupted night’s sleep. The talk with Tanner had exhausted her, especially as it had come right on the heels of Cole asking her about the kiss, and she’d tossed and turned all night. God, she was such an idiot. No wonder Cole was confused. Sure, he’d looked at her with the sort of tenderness she craved, but he was that kind of guy. Caring, considerate, thoughtful. At no point had he given her any indication he felt anything other than friendship for her.

  She may have faced off against Tanner—dug deep and found the courage to tell him straight up they were never getting back together—but she had a new battle on her hands. She couldn’t get the sensation of Cole’s mouth on hers out of her mind. The brief kiss they’d shared had awoken something in her that wouldn’t be silenced.

  How did she even begin this talk with him?

  Probably by not telling him what a good friend he was.

  She rubbed her face, hard. That had not been her finest moment. What a stupid line to roll out, but because she had no real experience with guys, she’d bottled it. Tanner was the only man she’d ever slept with, and she didn’t know how to tell a guy she found him attractive.