Groom For Hire (Pioneer Series #3)

by Ruth Ann Nordin

  “We’ll have the cook give you some lessons,” her father told her.

  “I live off of jerky most of the time,” Joe said. “Some families offer me some of their food as a way of thanking me for leading them on the trail. I’m sure they’ll be willing to share their food with you, too.”

  “Maybe,” Michelle replied, “but I should learn how to cook. I don’t want to be a burden on this trip.”

  “You won’t be a burden,” her father said, smiling at her. “You’ve never been a burden, and I assure you, you won’t be one now. The cook will teach you how to make a couple of simple meals to get you through the journey. When you get to California, you will never cook another meal for the rest of your life.” He glanced at Joe. “Her aunt and uncle assured me that there will be plenty of wealthy gentlemen out there because of the gold rush. Is that true?”

  “Well,” Joe began, not sure how much to tell them, “there is plenty of gold, and yes, there are always some gentlemen who manage to be wise with their earnings.”

  “But?” Michelle asked when he didn’t continue.

  Joe shifted in the chair. She was a woman. A refined and sheltered one at that. “Let’s just say not every man out there is a gentleman. Like anywhere else, there are people who are wasteful.”

  He could tell by her expression that she wasn’t satisfied with the little he told her, but that was all he was going to say on the subject. No need to tell her some wasted their money on liquor, prostitutes, or gambling.

  “Your aunt and uncle will be there to make sure you find a wealthy and respectable gentleman to marry,” her father spoke up. “You have no need to worry that you’ll end up with the wrong one.”

  Joe relaxed, glad her father had intervened when he had. No woman should have to learn how vile some men could be. And even now, it still pained him when he recalled the hard lesson Amanda had learned. Worse, he hadn’t been there when she had needed him. He’d been working on the railroad.

  Well, he’d take that lesson and make sure Michelle didn’t face the same fate Amanda had. He couldn’t do anything about the past, but he could do something about the future. Maybe that was why he felt compelled to sign the contract. A young woman all alone along the wagon trail was too vulnerable for the kinds of dangers that were out there.

  Michelle’s father had done his part to shelter her, and now he would continue that until she was safe with her aunt and uncle. Maybe, if he thought of this marriage like that, he wouldn’t be so disturbed by the fact that she looked so much like Amanda. Maybe this was a chance to redeem himself, to be there this time so no harm would come to another woman.

  “Joe,” Bernard began, “why don’t you tell us what the normal daily life is like on the trail?”

  Joe took another sip of his wine then proceeded to do as her father wished.

  * * *

  “Are you sure it’s wise to put yourself through the pain of seeing her again?” Laura asked the next morning.

  Joe had pulled her aside so they could talk in private on the porch. Her mother was making breakfast in the kitchen, and Jesse was tending to the animals. So this was the only time he could confide in her without anyone else knowing.

  “I need to do it,” Joe told Laura. “Maybe if I see how happy she is, I can finally put the past to rest.”

  “I know why you’d think that, but what if it doesn’t work? What if it only makes you feel worse?”

  “Maybe it will. But that won’t change anything, will it? I mean, even if I see Amanda, she’ll still be married to Richard.”

  Laura considered his argument and nodded. “You’re right. Amanda will still be married to Richard. But Joe, there’s something else. I didn’t want to say it because I thought it might make things harder on you.”

  “What is it?”

  “She’s expecting a child. I’m only a little further along than she is. So when you see her, she’ll be showing. I just wanted you to be prepared.”

  He should have expected this. It was only natural she’d have Richard’s children. And yet, this came as a very unwelcome shock. But maybe this was what he needed. Maybe he had to know she was not only happy with Richard but that she had a child on the way.

  “Joe,” Laura began, her tone soft, “I’ve never been in love with someone who married someone else. I can’t fully understand what you’re going through, but I can see this is difficult for you. Are you sure—really sure—that you need to see her? Can’t you just know she’s happy and leave it at that?”

  “No. I have to see it for myself. I’ve been avoiding this for a year. It’s time I did it. I need to bite the bullet and go through with it.”

  “And this is because Michelle looks like her?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe.” He put his face in his hands and sighed. “It was like stepping back in time yesterday.” He brought his hands down. “It was like seeing Amanda back in New York…before—”

  He stopped himself so he didn’t let Amanda’s secret slip. He had promised he’d never tell anyone what had happened to her, and he wasn’t about to break that promise, even to someone as kind and supportive as Laura.

  “When I first saw Michelle, it was like I had stepped back in time to the moment when I first met Amanda. And in that moment, I was unable to tell the distinction between the past and the present. I’m hoping if I see Amanda—as she is now—that I won’t keep going back to that feeling every time I see Michelle in the future. I want to be able to let Amanda go. I want to move on with my life.”

  Laura offered him a smile. “Since you put it that way, I think you should do it.”

  * * *

  It took Joe another day before he was able to work up the courage to go to Amanda’s house. Richard had built it. That much Joe knew. Beyond that and the brief talks they’d had in the past, he didn’t know much else about Amanda’s husband.

  Yes, he knew what Richard had done for Amanda, knew that Richard had been there for her when he hadn’t been. But he preferred not to know too much about Richard because if he did, he would start comparing himself to the other man, wondering why she was happy with Richard when she couldn’t have been happy with him, wondering what traits Richard had that he didn’t. And that was a dangerous path to go down.

  Joe stopped the horse a few houses away from Amanda’s residence. When he imagined doing this, he pictured himself going right up to the house and knocking on the door. She was expecting, so he’d imagined her showing. But all he really wanted to know was if she was happy.

  Yes, Laura had told him she was, but he still wanted to hear it from Amanda. If he was assured she was happy, he thought it might help to put an end to things once and for all. Then, maybe he could continue on with his life without constantly looking behind to what might have been.

  But no matter how much he willed himself to urge the steed to the house, he just couldn’t do it. Because it suddenly occurred to him that his problem wasn’t with knowing whether or not Amanda was happy. The problem was that he wasn’t happy. It’d been well over a year, and he was still pining for her like a lovesick schoolboy. What was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he just let the past go? Anyone else would have gone on with his life by now. Even Jesse had moved on from the loss of Elsie. And there was no denying Jesse had loved her.

  The front door to Amanda’s house opened, and he saw her. As Laura had warned, her belly was round with the child she carried.

  But his gaze went back to her face. Amanda was just as beautiful as he remembered. She was so much like Michelle that the two could have been twins. He’d heard a man claim there were people who had an identical version of themselves out there somewhere, but until now, he hadn’t believed it. The two were too much alike. It was eerie. Did they even know about each other?

  Amanda went to the flowers lining the front of the house and watered them. Her lips were moving, but he was too far away to hear her. Most likely, she was singing. He didn’t know if she could carry a tune or not, but he knew she never playe
d a piano. Michelle could play the piano, and she was good at it.

  He took small comfort in the difference between them. If he was going to get through the long trek to California with Michelle, he needed to mark as many differences between her and Amanda as possible. Otherwise, he’d probably be moping about Amanda the entire way, and the whole point of heading out on a new trail was to forget the past.

  The door to the house opened, and Joe’s gaze went to it. Richard came out. He bounded down the steps, and Amanda turned from the flowers as he walked over to her. She gave him a hug and a quick kiss. The two talked quietly for a few seconds. Joe didn’t have to know what they were saying to know they were happy.

  He sighed. Amanda had been right when she told him she would never have been happy with him. He could tell that by the way she looked at Richard. She’d never looked at him that way. Richard was her hero. He was the one who made her feel complete.

  And that was all Joe needed to see. Maybe it wasn’t enough to make him stop wishing things had ended up differently, but it was enough to show him that things had ended up for the best.

  He nudged the horse in the side and urged it to go down the street, away from the house and away from Amanda and Richard. If only he could make his emotions go away with such ease.

  Chapter 4

  This isn’t a real marriage. It isn’t a real marriage. Michelle repeated this to herself the entire time she got ready for the wedding. But no matter how hard she focused on the mantra, she couldn’t stop the butterflies from fluttering wildly in her stomach.

  Maybe all weddings were like this. Maybe it wasn’t because she was marrying Joe that was making her feel both excited and queasy all at once. Maybe she would have felt this way even if he’d been the kind of man she had expected before she met him. Hairy. Gruff. Ugly. Significantly older than her.

  But Joe was none of those things, and she didn’t know how to adjust her vision of this marriage to compensate for that. Joe was the kind of man she had envisioned marrying in California.

  So it was with trembling hands she slipped into her boots. The boots were too delicate to handle the trail, but she could get use of them right now.

  As she used the hook to fasten the buttons, she thought over the letters her aunt had written about the latest fashion out there. It wasn’t quite like the East, but women did enjoy beautiful gowns and parties. Her aunt even said they had a large piano that she could play at her leisure. You’ll be an asset to the wealthy gentlemen, her aunt had written. They’re eager to find ladies who can host dinner parties and entertain guests, and there aren’t enough ladies to meet the demand. You’ll have your choice of suitors.

  At the time, it sounded like a fairytale. Imagine, educated and wealthy gentlemen who were seeking wives. They would be lining up to dance with her, offering their tokens of affection, and vying for her hand. Any woman would be excited by such a prospect. But as she finished fastening the buttons on her boots, she couldn’t help but think that any woman would be excited about having a handsome and nice man like Joe escort them on a wagon train.

  “It’s a temporary marriage,” she said. “It’s not real.”

  When she was finished, she put the hook in her valise. The trunk she was packing was small. As Joe had suggested, she was only bringing a couple of dresses. She had no idea just how difficult it would be to go without all the comforts she’d grown up with, but there was no denying the sense of adventure she experienced. She was going to see more of the country.

  “It’s a temporary marriage,” she told herself once more. “You’d do well to keep that in mind.”

  She took a deep breath then gathered her valise and left her room. When she came down the steps, the butler hurried over to her.

  “My trunk is ready for you to take to the carriage,” she said.

  “Yes, Miss Heller,” the butler said then went up the stairs.

  She went to the parlor and saw that her father was reading the paper. “I’m ready.”

  Her father looked up from the paper and smiled at her. “You look every bit as lovely as your mother when she was your age. Got her temperament, too. Whoever marries you in California will be the luckiest man in all of the country.”

  She smiled. “I’ll miss you.”

  He stood up. “And I’ll miss you. But it won’t be forever.” He folded the paper and set it on the table then walked over to her. “I’ll be in California soon enough.” He hugged her. “Your mother would be proud of the lady you’ve become.”

  Tears filled her eyes as she tightened her arms around him. “I’m glad I was old enough to remember her.”

  “I’m glad you were, too. I take great comfort in knowing part of her lives on in you.” The butler came back down the stairs with her trunk, and her father said, “I suppose it’s time to go to the courthouse.”

  Her father escorted her to the carriage, and the two rode together in silence. The trip to the courthouse seemed to go much too fast. Before she knew it, the carriage came to a stop. She made another attempt to calm her nerves by taking a deep breath, but it didn’t seem to be working. She was about to see Joe again, and that made her far too excited to relax.

  Her father helped her out of the carriage and took the valise for her. “Once we find out what hotel Joe’s staying at, I’ll have the butler take your trunk there,” he told her.

  He escorted her into the building, and right away she saw Joe. But then, how could she miss him? He was the best looking man in the place. All the other men failed in comparison.

  “Punctual,” her father said and winked at her. “Good men know how to be on time. I’m telling you, he’ll make sure you get to California safe and sound. Come. Let’s not keep the groom waiting.”

  Her heartbeat picked up as her father led her over to him.

  “It’s nice to see you again,” her father said.

  “It’s nice to see you, too, sir,” Joe replied as the men shook hands. He glanced over at her, and she thought for sure she might melt right there on the spot the moment their eyes met. “Are you ready for tomorrow?”

  She cleared her throat. “Yes. Everything is packed.”

  “We made sure to pick out a small trunk and this valise,” her father held it up, “for the trip. The rest of her things will be transported later. Speaking of which, where should I tell the butler to take her trunk?”

  “That will be at the corner of 1st and 2nd a couple hours before we depart tomorrow,” Joe said.

  “Oh, I meant where should it go today.”

  “Today it should stay at your home.”

  Home? She frowned and glanced at her father, who seemed equally confused.

  “I thought once you married, you’d be taking her to your hotel room,” her father said.

  “I’m not staying in a hotel. I’m staying with a friend and his family.” Joe shifted from one foot to the other. “I do this every time I stop into Omaha. I’m sorry, but Michelle will have to go back with you tonight. There isn’t enough room at my friend’s house for her to stay. I sleep on the couch in his parlor.”

  Michelle supposed she should be relieved. This was a temporary marriage, and she was going to miss sleeping in her large and comfortable bed. But she wasn’t relieved. She was disappointed. This meant there would be one more day before she could be with Joe.

  She immediately criticized herself for thinking such a thing. What part of temporary in temporary marriage didn’t she understand? This was nothing but a business arrangement.

  “Our apologies for the misunderstanding,” her father told Joe. “We should have discussed the details beforehand.” He smiled. “What time should I bring Michelle with her things to the corner of 1st and 2nd?”

  “We’ll leave at eight, so I recommend six. That gives me sufficient time to make sure everyone’s wagons are properly packed and to make sure the animals are in good shape.”

  Six? That early? If she had to be there at six, then she’d have to get up at five in order to get dres
sed and fix her hair just right.

  A man approached them and announced that the judge was ready for them.

  Joe turned to her. “After you.” He gestured for her to follow the man.

  It suddenly occurred to her that this trip to California might be a lot longer than she could ever imagine. With a nod, she lifted the hem of her dress and headed for the judge’s chamber so she could marry him.

  * * *

  The next morning, Joe stopped helping the Robins family rearrange the items in their wagon when he caught sight of Michelle. She was wearing a suitable dress for spending the entire day walking along a grassy path, but her hair was hanging down her back in loose waves.

  “I’ll be back,” he told Stuart Robins.

  As Stuart and his family continued to rearrange their belongings, Joe hurried around the others.

  Michelle caught sight of him and gave him a slight wave. Next to her, her father and butler stood. The butler carried her trunk, and her father held her valise.

  “Who does she think she is, showing up with a butler?” Joe overheard Alice Woods ask Sherry Fern.

  Too late did Joe realize his mistake. He should have taken the trunk yesterday after he married Michelle. He could have taken it to Jesse’s house and brought it into town this morning. Then the butler wouldn’t have shown up. He should have known Michelle’s financial status could instigate envy among the others who were struggling to get by.

  He thought about telling them it wasn’t the butler. That it was her uncle. But if they found out he’d lied to them, it would only make matters worse. All he could do was get rid of the butler as soon as possible.

  “I hope you have a safe trip,” her father was telling Michelle as he gave her a long hug.

  “I’ll write to you when we get into each town along the way and tell you how things are going,” she promised.

  Joe turned to the butler and reached for the trunk. “I’ll take that.”

  The butler released the trunk but remained by her father’s side.