The Price of Love

by Rosie Harris

  She shivered and dropped the poker. No job! As long as she could remember her life had revolved around the office at Carter’s Cars and working on the switchboard there; to no longer be a part of it seemed impossible.

  Lucy wondered if perhaps she ought to ask Patsy to have a word with Percy Carter, to see if he would speak to his father and persuade him to change his mind about Sam’s dismissal. She knew she was going to find it difficult to get another job, but for Sam with all his disabilities, it would be almost impossible.

  When she finally plucked up the courage to ask, Patsy looked at her rather disdainfully. ‘I don’t think so,’ she smirked. ‘Have you forgotten that Mr Carter has forbidden Percy to have anything more to do with me?’

  ‘Sorry, Patsy, I had forgotten about that,’ Lucy said quickly.

  ‘Anyway, Percy isn’t around, so I couldn’t ask him even if I wanted to do so. Mr Carter sent Percy off to London to do a business studies course. I shouldn’t imagine it will do him much good, you know how thick Percy is,’ she giggled.

  ‘On the other hand, it might be the making of him,’ Lucy commented. ‘I imagine he had plenty of time to think about his future while he was in hospital after the bonfire accident,’ she added thoughtfully. ‘It was very kind of you to visit him as much as you did; in fact, I never knew you were so friendly with Percy.’

  ‘I wasn’t, really, but it got me some time out of the office, didn’t it? And I thought that Mr Carter might be impressed and consider me for promotion.’

  ‘Patsy!’ Lucy couldn’t keep the shock out of her voice. ‘Whatever sort of promotion did you think you would get?’

  ‘Deputy to Miss Yorke, of course.’

  ‘She’s not that old; surely she’s not thinking of retiring?’ Lucy said in amazement.

  ‘I don’t know.’ Patsy shrugged. ‘She will do one day and someone will have to take her place as Mr Carter’s secretary and be in charge of the general office. And since I often deputise for her, then I would stand a better chance than anyone else, wouldn’t I?’

  ‘Well, that makes sense, but since she won’t be retiring for five or perhaps ten years, surely you will be married to Sam long before then?’

  Patsy shrugged again. ‘Perhaps, perhaps not. Sam’s still a cripple at the moment,’ she pointed out.

  ‘Nonsense! He’s improving all the time. It will only be a matter of another couple of weeks, or perhaps a month, before he is fit enough to go back to work.’

  ‘Except that he hasn’t a job to go back to now that Mr Carter has sacked him,’ Patsy reminded her.

  ‘There are plenty of other places where they would be glad of someone with Sam’s skills,’ Lucy pointed out.

  ‘What skills? He has earned himself black marks as a driver, no one would trust him with their cars in a hurry and as for working as a mechanic, well, he hasn’t completed his apprenticeship, so that rules that out, doesn’t it?’

  Lucy bit her lip to stop herself uttering aloud the sharp comments that came into her mind. There was no point in arguing with Patsy and antagonising her, Lucy decided. Obviously, she wasn’t going to be able to help so really there was nothing else to be said; there was certainly no point in suggesting that as soon as Patsy and Sam got married they all lived together, because at the moment Patsy didn’t seem to want to commit herself.

  Lucy felt very depressed and unhappy as she thought about the future. Even so, she didn’t intend to sit down and cry about it; it wasn’t in her nature to admit defeat, she told herself grimly.

  Tomorrow she would buy a copy of the midday edition of the Liverpool Echo and look through the situations vacant columns and if she could find anything at all that was remotely suitable, she would apply right away that afternoon.

  Until she did manage to find some sort of work, she would be able to spend more time with Sam. In fact, she resolved, she’d tell Patsy that there was no need for her to come round at the weekend because she and Robert would be taking Sam out.

  It would give her a chance to see something of Robert; they needed to spend more time together. She’d seen so little of him lately that they were almost like strangers. Then she had a better idea; instead of asking Patsy not to come round, she’d suggest that Patsy should stay at home with Sam while she and Robert went out together.

  Finding an office job proved to be impossible and as the weeks passed and their debts mounted, Lucy became quite desperate and knew she would have to find some other way of earning money. She was not only behind with the rent, but also owed money to the coal man, the butcher and the grocer, even though they lived on the cheapest of foods that she could find. Sam needed new clothes and so did she; the skirts and blouses that she had worn to the office were now shabby and Sam had grown so thin while lying in bed that none of his clothes fitted him.

  Finally, in desperation, she applied for a job as a charlady at one of the large office blocks in Old Hall Street near the Pier Head. She’d still be working in an office, she told herself, even if it was emptying the waste bins and polishing the desks.

  When she was told that they would give her a week’s trial, Lucy was delighted even though the wage was far less than she’d been used to getting at Carter’s Cars.

  She had to be there by seven each morning, which meant leaving home before half past six, and she did find that was something of a struggle when she’d been used to starting at half-eight in the morning.

  She didn’t have time to wake Sam to give him his breakfast before she left so she prepared something for him the night before and left it on the kitchen table and told him he would have to get himself dressed and downstairs.

  The first morning he tried to do so, but couldn’t manage the stairs on his own, so from then on he simply stayed in bed until she arrived home again around mid-morning and then she prepared a meal which combined both breakfast and a midday meal.

  The cleaning job was hard work and by the end of the trial week she felt so exhausted that if it hadn’t been for the fact that they owed so much money, she would not have accepted the job even when they offered it to her.

  There were four flights of stairs to clean as well as offices on each of the floors. Emptying the wastepaper baskets and dusting the desks was the least of her problems; what she really hated having to do was cleaning the lavatories and washbasins.

  The payment she received was so meager that as Christmas approached she knew she had to find some other work that paid better or some kind of part-time job that she could do after she’d finished her cleaning work in the morning.

  The weather was turning quite cold and although she tried to be frugal with both food and heating, their debts were still mounting and the coal man would now only deliver if she had the money ready to hand to him before he tipped the sack out in their shed.

  Sam’s hand was now healed and he was able to use a stick to walk so he was able to get around quite well on his own and they no longer needed the wheelchair. It had cost a few shillings a week to hire, so she was pleased to be able to return it and claim back the deposit they’d been asked to pay on it.

  Lucy had also hoped that now he was able to get around he would be able to find a job. He had only been a few weeks short of completing his apprenticeship and she wondered if it was possible for him still to do so. Then, as she saw him hobbling around, she knew it was out of the question. How could he lie on the floor underneath a motor car to do repairs when he was in such a state?

  She wasn’t sure if he would still be able to drive a motor car or whether he had lost his nerve. They’d never talked about the accident but Patsy’s harsh words about no one ever trusting him again as a driver haunted her.

  There was one other solution to their financial problem but it was one she’d talked to Robert about before and she didn’t want to follow it up until she absolutely had to do so, because she didn’t know quite how to broach the matter to him again. Until now pride had stopped her from telling him how difficult she was finding it to make ends meet. Now
she wondered whether she should come straight out and tell him the truth or try to pay off all the outstanding debts after they were married and she had more money.

  She was positive she’d be able to clear them in next to no time once Robert’s wages as well as her own were coming in and that would make life so much easier.

  The only trouble was it would make it look as if she was marrying Robert as a solution to her problems instead of because she loved him, she thought miserably.

  If only she could clear off all her debts first, she’d feel so much better about suggesting they should get married, she decided. If she could find some extra work over Christmas, then it might be possible, she told herself. It would be wonderful to be able to start 1922 with a clean slate.

  Her daydreams escalated as she contemplated the possibilities if this happened. She and Robert could have a spring wedding.

  In mid-December when she managed to find a temporary job washing up in a hotel and knew it would last over Christmas and the New Year, it seemed as though this might be a real possibility.

  Like her charring job, Lucy found it was much harder work than she had anticipated. As she tackled never-ending piles of glasses, dirty plates, dishes and greasy pots and pans, her back and feet ached. The amount of waste she scraped off the plates horrified her. How could people leave such delicious-looking food when so many others were hungry or even had to cut back as she’d had to do lately? she wondered.

  As she stood up to her elbows in dirty, greasy water until well after midnight all over the Christmas holiday, Lucy tried to work out how she was going to deal with matters in the new year.

  The first thing, she resolved, was to have a quiet word with Patsy and ask her if she really was serious about getting married soon and also what she thought about getting married at the same time as she and Robert, and then Sam and Patsy sharing the house with her and Robert.

  The opportunity came on New Year’s Day. Lucy arrived home in the early hours of the morning after a gruelling night’s work. Fortunately she had no office cleaning that day and she planned to go straight to bed for a few hours before getting up and cooking a meal for herself and Sam.

  Footsore after her long walk home, she was more than a little annoyed to find Sam, Patsy and Robert still there; all of them asleep. Patsy and Robert were on the sofa and Sam in an armchair.

  As she went into the kitchen to make herself a hot drink Patsy woke up and padded in after her.

  ‘You’re up early,’ she yawned.

  ‘I’ve only just finished work,’ Lucy told her, ‘and once I’ve had a hot drink I’m off up to bed. Shouldn’t you be at home?’ she asked rather pointedly.

  ‘We stayed up to see the New Year in,’ Patsy said as she yawned again. ‘It was fun. We went down to the Pier Head and there were crowds down there all singing and dancing as the klaxons and ships’ hooters sounded. You should have come.’

  ‘I would have liked to have done so, only I had to work,’ Lucy reminded her as she spooned some tea leaves into the big brown pot and poured the boiling water from the kettle on to them. ‘Do you want a cuppa?’

  ‘Might as well.’ Patsy sat down at the kitchen table and put her head down on her folded arms. ‘I’m so tired I could sleep the clock round,’ she moaned.

  ‘Have you made any plans for 1922?’ Lucy asked as she poured out the tea and pushed one of the cups across the table to Patsy.

  ‘Heavens, no. The plans I make never seem to work out. Other people always manage to muck them up for me,’ Patsy muttered as she took a sip of her tea.

  Suddenly, without a word, she was off her chair and dashing for the sink.

  ‘What’s wrong? Is it the tea?’ Lucy asked as she heard Patsy heaving and hurried to her side.

  ‘Must be something I’ve eaten,’ Patsy gasped. ‘It happened yesterday morning and the morning before. Strange thing is, it seems to work off after an hour or so and I feel fine for the rest of the day. Do you think I should go and see a doctor?’

  Lucy stared at her aghast. ‘You don’t really need a doctor to tell you what’s wrong, do you?’

  Patsy looked at her blankly. ‘Well, I don’t know what’s causing it, do you?’ she asked, flicking back her hair defiantly.

  ‘It sounds as though you’re pregnant.’

  The colour drained from Patsy’s face. ‘Oh no, don’t say that; I can’t be,’ she gasped.

  ‘Oh, Patsy, I am sorry,’ Lucy sympathised.

  ‘Not half as sorry as I am. I told you other people always muck up my plans,’ Patsy muttered resentfully.

  Lucy bit down on her lower lip thoughtfully; she had been waiting for an opportunity to suggest that Patsy and Sam got married but this hardly seemed to be the right moment. Yet there would be no alternative once Sam heard Patsy’s news, she reasoned.

  Chapter Ten

  Lucy sat nursing her cup of tea for a long time. She didn’t even look up as Patsy scraped back her chair and went back into the living room. Her mind was racing and a phrase her mother had used so often about being careful what you wished for in case it came true kept going round and round in her head.

  She had wanted Sam and Patsy to be married and had even considered them living with her and Robert. One big, happy family all pulling together and able to make ends meet because they’d all be working.

  She had never given any thought to there being a baby to consider as well. It would mean that Patsy wouldn’t be able to work and that would put a fresh drain on their resources. Instead of it solving their money problems, she could see them getting ever deeper into debt.

  She was still sitting there brooding over this new problem and feeling too tired to even walk upstairs to bed when Patsy came into the kitchen again.

  ‘Do you want another cup of tea?’ Patsy asked and Lucy was aware that she no longer sounded full of confidence.

  ‘Yes, all right,’ Lucy agreed. ‘Then perhaps we can talk over what is to be done while we’re drinking it.’

  ‘There’s nothing to talk over,’ Patsy stated. ‘He’ll have to marry me.’

  ‘It’s all very well saying that but as you pointed out earlier, Sam hasn’t got a job, so how is he going to support you and find money for the baby? There are a hundred and one things you are going to need and you haven’t even anywhere to live.’

  ‘What’s Sam got to do with it?’ Patsy asked. ‘I wouldn’t dream of marrying him, not now that he’s a cripple.’

  ‘Patsy!’ Lucy tried to keep the anger from her voice but it was impossible. She thought the world of her brother and to hear Patsy speak so disparagingly of him was hurtful.

  With an effort to remain calm she looked across at Patsy and asked, ‘Does Sam know about this?’

  ‘You mean that I’m pregnant? I shouldn’t think so; I didn’t know myself until you told me just now.’ Patsy shrugged. ‘Fancy you thinking that it might be Sam’s baby,’ she giggled, tossing back her hair and staring at Lucy in amusement.

  ‘This baby isn’t Sam’s,’ Patsy went on defiantly before Lucy could speak. ‘I don’t know why you should think it could be.’ She gave a shrill laugh. ‘He’s been laid up for the last nine months so common sense should tell you he isn’t capable of anything like that.’

  Lucy stared at her wide-eyed. ‘If it’s not Sam’s, then whose baby is it? Surely not Percy Carter’s?’

  ‘Don’t be daft!’ Patsy said scornfully. ‘Have you forgotten he was in hospital when I was visiting him?’

  ‘You also went out with him afterwards until Mr Carter put a stop to it,’ Lucy reminded her.

  ‘This baby has nothing at all to do with Percy Carter or your Sam,’ Patsy reiterated. Her blue eyes narrowed as she studied Lucy’s puzzled face. ‘No, the father is someone else and, as I have said, he’ll have to marry me, won’t he?’

  ‘Surely it depends on whether he’s free to do so,’ Lucy said.

  ‘He’s single so I see no reason why he can’t,’ Patsy mused. ‘What’s more, he’s crazy about
me.’

  ‘Then you’ve nothing to worry about, have you? Except having to break the news to Sam,’ she added bitterly. ‘Or aren’t you going to tell him yet in case this other bloke turns you down?’

  ‘He certainly won’t do that,’ Patsy boasted.

  Lucy bit her lip and shook her own head in despair. Patsy seemed to be making light of the problem but she couldn’t do that; there was so much at stake.

  ‘Sam means nothing at all to me; he hasn’t done for a long time,’ Patsy went on. ‘I can’t stand sick people and I certainly don’t want to be tied to a cripple for the rest of my life.’

  ‘You don’t mean that,’ Lucy protested. ‘You’ve been going out together for years. Sam said you were planning to be married after he’d finished his apprenticeship.’

  ‘That was then, this is now,’ Patsy quipped. ‘Boy and girl stuff. So much has happened since then.’

  ‘Sam still loves you; he couldn’t understand why you didn’t visit him more when he was in hospital,’ Lucy sighed.

  ‘Well, now you have the answer. I was fed up with him, so why should I waste my time going to the hospital to see him?’

  ‘Yet after he came out of hospital you were willing to take him out at the weekends in the wheelchair.’

  ‘Yes, but only because it meant Robert could come as well,’ Patsy told her smugly.

  ‘So are you going to tell me whose baby it is?’ Lucy demanded.

  ‘Of course, if you really want me to, and I suppose you will have to know sooner or later,’ Patsy said with a little smile. ‘It’s Robert’s baby.’

  ‘Robert’s baby!’ The colour drained from Lucy’s face. She felt faint. This couldn’t be happening, she told herself. She’d been working too hard and she was so tired that she was hallucinating. How could Patsy be expecting Robert’s baby, or think that Robert was going to marry her? Robert was already her lover and had asked her to marry him and the only reason that they weren’t already married was because of the bonfire incident and then the terrible accident last Easter.