Torn

by T. N. King

Now, she let the breath out and glared at him. “HELLO ELLIE?” she seethed.

  His smile dropped and he hung his head.

  She huffed and looked around as the regulars and Joanna stared at her. She stared back at them.

  They all looked away, except Joanna—she grinned at her.

  “Hmmph!” Ellie muttered.

  “Ellie?” he called.

  Oh no, she flat out refused to look at him as she slammed a coffee mug onto the counter in front of him, then turned to grab the pot. She swung it around, her eyes shooting daggers at him.

  He placed his hands up. “Not the face, Ellie!”

  Ohh! It was sooo not funny. No, she wasn’t going to throw hot coffee at him. She could control this whole thing. She had to. This man had truly broken her heart this time and she needed to keep it together. She calmly poured him a cup of coffee without looking at him at all then stalked away.

  Sue had come out of the back and stopped in her tracks. “Oh, my god! It’s him. Oh wow, he is so sexy!”

  Ellie huffed again and snapped, “Go get him. He likes to grab up waitresses and take them for a ride!” She stomped back to the locker room.

  Sitting down, she tried to get a hold of herself. She’d just made a total fool of herself out there. Do not cry! Why was he here? She just couldn’t take any of this. Up and down like a yo-yo. She wouldn’t be a yo-yo, not even for him. She’d been better off before. Not knowing how wonderful it could be. How he made her feel. Then only to have it taken away. She thought of the apartment and college. If she had any pride, she would reject it all. Throw it back in his—

  “Ellie,” he spoke from somewhere close.

  She swiped away a tear. “Why are you here, Morgan?” She raised her gaze up to finally take a good look at him. He did look tired. There were rings under those beautiful eyes. Well, good! She didn’t feel so great herself.

  Morgan let out a sigh. “I messed up again,” he admitted.

  “Well, if you are here just because you are bored and want to play with my life again to get your kicks…you can just go find another project.”

  His eyes widened at this statement. “Project?”

  She looked away. She just did not trust herself to really look at him. He was her weakness and her strength…apparently.

  “Has Chance been talking to you?”

  Her head snapped up. Why would he ask that? Oh, my god! She had been a project! He and Chance getting off on—

  “Ellie!”

  She looked up at him. “So, it’s true then?” Ellie decided to play along and see just what the hell was happening.

  Morgan shook his head. “No, not this time.”

  She stood up. “This time?”

  Shaking his head, he stared at her. “You were never in that. Not ever.” He looked into her eyes.

  “In what? In a game with you and him?”

  His eyes widened and he looked pissed suddenly. “Fuck! I am going to kill him.”

  “No!” Ellie stood up as she suddenly realized where this lie of hers might lead. “He never spoke to me, Morgan. I figured it out on my own.”

  His anger seemed to fade as he asked, “Figured what out?”

  Shrugging, she refused to look at him anymore. If she did, she would be lost. “That I was just a pet project. You were bored and once you found me, I was your entertainment, then you would improve me and…”

  “And what?” he asked his voice barely audible.

  She let out a sigh. “It’s okay. You didn’t even have to come and check on me. You don’t owe me anything. But I do owe you.” She reached into her pocket and got out her keys for the car and apartment. “You can have it all back. I won’t be taking anything else from you.”

  He looked from her face to the keys and back up to her face. “What? Oh, no, Ellie! Those are yours. You can’t—?”

  “I CAN!” she yelled at him. “I admit, I was dazzled by all this, by your wealth. But now…Now, I intend to do it on my own. And thank you for that. For making me stronger.”

  “Can I just explain? Please?” he asked.

  Turning back to face him, she glared. “You disappeared again!”

  He nodded. “Yes, and for the same dumbass reason.”

  She shook her head.

  “Just give me this last chance? I will explain it all. I…” His voice faded away.

  No, Ellie do not look into his eyes, don’t do it! She took a deep breath and raised her gaze up to meet his.

  He met her gaze and there was pain in those steely gray eyes. “I will come to your apartment and we will talk. I will try everything and anything to convince you that I had a very good…” He shook his head. “No, there isn’t a god enough reason to have ever hurt you again.” He let out a sigh as if he were defeated.

  She pulled in a breath. Could he really mean to give up? The deal maker. The king of charm? Why did he even come back? She had to know. She couldn’t move on until she knew all of it. Ellie already knew this was yet another bad idea but her mouth opened and she said, “Okay.”

  His head rose up, as he looked surprised. “Okay?”

  She raised her hands. “You can come over tonight while I am packing.”

  He looked upset still but relieved. “At about ten? When do you get off?”

  “Yes, ten would be okay.”

  Morgan took a step forward, then stopped at the look on her face. “Okay, I will be there.” He turned and walked away.

  What are you thinking? That voice warned. Ellie swiped at her leftover tears and released a breath. I am thinking that if he finally tells me all of it, then I—oh, shit! She stomped her foot. I don’t know what I was thinking!

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Morgan

  He felt tore up. As well as he should. The day he wrote the text, it had been true. He actually had flown to Japan for the company. The Yamato-Hitori group had problems that apparently, only he could solve. It was a 100 million dollar contract and Morgan’s brother Des, along with Chance had implored him to go.

  Then after he returned, he realized that all he’d thought about the entire time had been her. Again, with his utter distraction over one, Miss Ellie White. Then, he didn’t know what happened. He drove to his lake house and got drunk. Then he stayed that way. Caught, Chance had said. He had felt scared for the first time in his life.

  He’d never stepped down from anything before. And he found himself running from little, sweet Ellie. He then tried to call her and couldn’t get through. The phone had been turned off, he figured. Yes, he had gone and done it up good this time, apparently. Then he convinced himself that it was all for the best. Next, he went through stages. Guilt at hurting her all over again. Misery without her face and her sweet body in his life. Denial in facing the fact that he could not live without her. Live normally, that is.

  Then Chance showed up at his house and found him in his utter depth of drunken misery. He took one look at Morgan and laughed. “She dumped you?”

  Uncaring about even this…Morgan refused to be baited. “Get out,” he’d muttered.

  Chance sighed and sat down in the chair across from the couch. “Dammit, Morgan. How could you fuck this up?”

  This did get Morgan’s attention. “What?”

  “Man, I saw her. I saw you. What in the hell did you do that would get you here, to this point?”

  “It’s none of your damn—”

  “It is!” Chance stood up. “You found it, man! That woman was the one for you. And you throw it away?”

  “I wussed out…” Morgan had muttered.

  “What?”

  “She didn’t dump me. I ran.”

  Chance dropped his hands from his chest. “You mean you just sent her home and that was that?”

  Nodding, Morgan groaned and put his head in his hands. “God! She is so beautiful, so pure. With no angle. No conceit. And she made me feel such power, but naturally, you know. Like she fit me.”

  “And you dumped that.” It wasn’t a question.
>
  Sighing, Morgan grabbed the bottle he’d been drinking out of and lifted it to his lips. “Yep.”

  Chance yanked the bottle out of his hand.

  Attempting to stand up, Morgan tried to grab it back.

  Chance tossed it up against the wall and in a blinding rush, he tackled Morgan.

  Morgan took a swing at him before he got him down and missed.

  Chance grabbed him by the heels and dragged him outside.

  “Just go ahead and kick my ass. I don’t fuuuucking c-care!” Morgan had yelled as he slurred.

  Chance gave no reply as he hefted him up and tossed him into the icy cold swimming pool.

  Gasping, Morgan went down to the bottom. He stopped struggling and just sank. Who cared? He’d lost her this time and he damn well knew it. Bubbles left his lungs.

  Suddenly, Chance was there, grabbing him up and swimming him to the top. They broke the surface and both gasped for air. “Dammit, Morgan!” Chance yelled as he struggled to move him to the pool steps.

  Once he got them both out, Morgan on his back lay in a pool of water. He coughed and choked.

  “Look at you man!” Chance spluttered through the water on his lips. “Get the fuck up and go get her. Make that deal.”

  “Nah, fuck it. I lost her,” Morgan spluttered back.

  Chance stood up. “You were just going to sink to the bottom of that pool and die! If you love her that much, you need to…” He shook his head. “You know what? Never mind. If you don’t want her. I can have her then right?” He slicked his wet hair back. “Where did you say she was from, Lower Philly?”

  Morgan slowly sat up and stared at him. “You fucking wouldn’t.”

  Chance smiled. “I fucking would! I would even put her in that dress I bought before I fucked her.”

  Morgan hung his head. “You’re bluffing.” Silence reigned and he raised his head.

  Chance was walking away. “I cannot wait. I bet she gives damn good head with that sweet mouth of hers.”

  Morgan felt a rush of anger and fear. He stood up on wobbly legs and shouted, “Okay!”

  Chance slowed and turned. “Okay, what?”

  “You are right. I won’t… FUCK!” he shouted as he slumped back down. “What the fuck?” he kept yelling. “Why? Why can’t I just stop running from her?”

  Chance looked upset. “Dude, you know I wouldn’t have. Dammit, I’m sorry.” He stepped closer. “Get your shit together, and go get her. Before someone like me does go after her.” He turned and walked away…

  …So now, here Morgan stood. To make the deal of his life. To get her back. He knew he really had no choice. The very thought of her with anyone else, had made him go insane. And life without her would be…well, Chance had said it. He would just sink to the bottom. He never knew love. He’d never been in love. He actually never believed in it. It was a myth. Some fairytale women made up to make life feel more romantic. He laughed at the thought. It was a glorious hell. Yes, he thought he would catch fire and hold it in his hands, and he’d expected to not get burned?

  Ellie drove up in her candy red car. One that she said she would give back.

  He believed her too. He’d never seen that look in her eyes. He had to feel proud of her. She had come a long way. No, she wasn’t scared of life anymore.

  She got out and marched up the steps.

  Morgan knew she had seen him. She was still pissed. He knew this and he knew he’d hurt her. What he didn’t know was what to tell her.

  Ellie held herself together through the end of her shift. She felt so conflicted. God, how could she even look at the man without wanting him? Then the look in his eyes pulled at her. It was a look she’d never seen. Like desperation. Morgan, desperate? If he felt that way, then why did he leave her again?

  She was scared now—scared, that she wouldn’t be able to turn him away. Most of her didn’t want to. He had seemed to be everything she ever wanted in a man and then some. But he had this one flaw and it was a big one. He would run. Why? Well, she intended to find out. She just hoped she was right in giving him another chance to explain.

  She opened the door and didn’t look back.

  Morgan followed her in and shut the door.

  Tugging her clothes off as she walked to the bedroom, she knew he saw her. She then bent over in only her underwear and took her shoes off. She heard him gasp from behind her. Good, I hope he likes what he sees and knows that he cannot have it. What had gotten into her? She’d never thought like this before. It was empowering, yet terrifying. She could feel him coming up behind her as she walked down the hall in her underwear.

  Ellie then turned and went into her bedroom.

  Would he follow?

  “Ellie?”

  Apparently, he would.

  She turned to face him, in her bra and panties.

  His eyes blazed at her and he waited a moment. “Are you going to get dressed, so we can talk?”

  Ellie shrugged. Now that he was here in her bedroom, and she stood nearly naked in front of him, she wondered why she’d even entered the apartment like that. Taking her clothes off and strutting around? Dumb, dumb. She was still too impulsive. You do not get rid of a man by stripping down in front of him. But yes… She did know why. Let him see what he dumped. No, Ellie he has seen it and he dumped you anyway. She then winced at this bit of unneeded information.

  “Ellie?” he asked again looking pained. He also adjusted himself through his jeans as he tried to play it off.

  Oh…well, maybe she had been onto something. This was making him hot. She slipped her bra off and then her panties. Make him squirm. Yes, she had been right to do it after all.

  His eyes narrowed at her. “What are you doing, Ellie?”

  She rose up and wondered the same thing herself. “Undressing, that’s what.”

  He swallowed heavily and took a step back. He looked utterly mystified.

  “Are you confused?’ she asked.

  He halted and raised his gaze from her body to her face. “I sure as hell am.”

  “Good!” she yelled. “Now you know how I feel, how I felt!” She marched up to him and pointed a finger into his hard chest. “I would have given this to you. I would have…” Tears welled up in her eyes. “…but you know what?”

  He shook his head as his eyes darkened with her bare body being so near.

  “You threw me away!” she screamed. “That’s what!” Tears streamed down her face. “I could see that maybe you did have business, but you c-could have called me. Even texted me. But no! I kept that phone waiting for you to!”

  “I-I tried. You must have shut it off,” he whispered.

  “When? When did you try?” she huffed as she swiped at her tears.

  “Ellie,” he whispered.” I am sorry. I ran. I got scared.”

  Her head rose up. “What?”

  “I got scared. I realized that I loved you. That I couldn’t live without you and I bolted.”

  Her eyes widened. “You love me?” This wasn’t going at all the way she thought.

  He nodded and took her hands. “I flew to Japan on business, just like my text said. Then the entire time, all I thought about was you.”

  Blinking her eyes, she didn’t get it at all. “Then you dumped me?”

  He shook his head. “No, then I came back to the states and I holed up in my house and tried to drink myself to death.”

  She gasped. “You?”

  He nodded and lowered his head. “After a couple of days, I knew I’d blown it.”

  “Yes! Yes, you blew it!” she yelled again and began to pace. “Here I was wondering, worrying, thinking all kinds of craziness. You were sick, your family maybe in trouble, then I had to realize the truth. YOU DUMPED ME!”

  “No.” He grabbed her up. “I can’t dump you.”

  She was still mad, so she struggled against him. “Well, you did! I don’t know what you call it in your world, but it was a dumping in mine.”

  He laughed as he tugged her aga
inst his chest. “God dammit, you are hot when you get mad. I’ve never seen you like this.”

  “OH! You think this is funny?” she shouted.

  His laughter halted as he looked into her eyes. “No, it isn’t. And it isn’t funny that I felt like dying when I knew I’d lost you.”

  Her struggles stopped. “What?” Well, that took the steam out of her for sure.

  He let out a sigh. “You are inside me now. I cannot ever leave you. If I do, I won’t be living anymore.” He grasped her face. “Sweet Ellie. You are…” He lowered his lips to hers. “I love you Ellie White. I won’t ever leave you again.”

  Ellie felt her body melting into his, like it had a will of its own. He loves me? Oh, and those yummy lips. That voice that made her wet almost every time he spoke. The daze he leaves me in after he kisses me. Then suddenly her eyes popped open and she she leapt back from him. “How do I know this is the truth? I mean you could have gone to Tahiti with some blonde, got drunk, and fucked her till you were out of bodily fluids. Then come back here to me!” Even as she said it, she really didn’t believe it herself.

  He shook his head. “Nope. I cannot even get it up for anyone but you.”

  Ellie gasped. “So then you tried?”

  He stared at her and again, laughed. “God, you are so beautiful. So…” he halted. “You are too good for me actually. I am sorry that I hurt you, not once but twice.”

  Ellie felt deflated suddenly. Her anger had evaporated and it left her feeling lost.

  Morgan stepped back. “I want to…to start again. I don’t expect…” He raised his gaze to hers. “I do not expect for you to sleep with me or give me anything, except some time to show you that I do love you and plan to cherish you for the rest of my life.”

  Tears rolled down her cheeks. Him saying this was all she ever wanted to hear, but she didn’t know if it could be true. Had he really run away from her because he loved her? It was insane. Then she looked at him, her gaze met those magnificent eyes and she knew the answer. This was a powerful man, always in control, always choosing his own path. Look at the way he handled her when they did have sex. He was all power and she had loved it too. Then he falls in love and…He loses his sense of everything. He cannot control it. He didn’t know how to. “Have you ever loved a woman before?” she asked, though she knew the answer already.