Dean Koontz - (1985)

by Twilight Eyes(Lit)

  18 First Epilogue We got Out of Yontsdown, but only because everyone took extreme risks to protect Rya and me. Many of the other carnies did not know why two cops had been killed at her trailer, but they did not have to know or really want to know. Joel Tuck made up some story, and while no one believed it for a minute, everyone was satisfied. They closed ranks around us with admirable comradeship, blissfully unaware that they were up against an enemy more formidable than just the straight world and the Yontsdown Police Department. Joel loaded the body of the Kelsko thing and its deputy into the patrol car, drove it to a quiet place, beheaded both corpses, and buried the heads. Then he took the squad car (with both decapitated bodies) back into Yontsdown and, just after daybreak, parked it in an alley behind a warehouse. Luke Bendingo picked him up and brought him back to the carnival, unaware of how the dead cops had been mutilated. The other goblins in Yontsdown might believe that Kelsko had been murdered by a psycho before ever setting out for the carnival. But even if they did suspect us, they could prove nothing. I hid in the trailer belonging to Gloria Neames, the fat lady, Who was as kind as anyone I have ever known. She, too, had certain psychic powers. She could levitate small objects if she concentrated on them, and she could locate lost objects with a divining rod. She could not see the goblins, but she knew that Joel Tuck and Rya and I saw them, and because of her own talents-which Joel had been aware of-and because she was like us in some ways, she believed our tales of the demonkind more readily than others would have. As Gloria put it, "God sometimes throws a bone to those of us He maims. I figure a higher percentage of us freaks are psychic than is true of the population at large, and I figure we were meant to stick together. But between you and me, honey, I'd just as soon not be psychic if I could trade my power for being slim and gorgeous!" the carnival doctor, a reformed alcoholic named Winston Pennington,.came to Gloria's trailer two or three times every day to treat my wound. No vital organs or arteries had been pierced. But I developed a fever, a seriously dehydrating nausea, and delirium, and I do not remember much of the six days following my confrontation with Rya in the graveyard. Rya. She had to disappear. After all, she was known to many of the demonkind as a collaborator, and they would continue seeking her out, asking her to point them toward those who could see through their masquerade. And she no longer wanted to do that. She was fairly sure that only Kelsko and his deputy had known about me, and now that they were dead, I was safe. But she had to vanish. Arturo Sombra filed a missing persons report on her with the Yontsdown Police, who found no leads, of course. For the next couple of months Sombra Brothers operated her concessions on her behalf, but at last the company exercised a foreclosure option in its contract and took possession of her businesses. Which they sold to me. Financed by Joel Tuck. At the end of the season I drove Rya's Airstream to Gibsonton, Florida, and parked it beside the larger, permanent trailer she kept there. Through some clever paperwork I became the owner of the Gibsonton property as well, and I lived there alone from mid-October until a week before Christmas, when I was joined by a stunningly beautiful woman with eyes as blue as Rya Raines's, with a body as perfectly sculpted as Rya's, but with somewhat different facial features and with hair the color of ravens' wings. She said her name was Cara MacKenzie, my long-lost cousin from Detroit, and she said we had a lot to talk about. In fact, in spite of my determination to be understanding and forgiving and htimati, I still had to work out some of my resentment and disapproval of what she had done, and we were too awkward with each other to talk much at all until Christmas Day. Then we could not shut up. We were a long time feeling each other out, reestablishing ties, and we did not go to bed together until January 15, and at first it was not as good as it had been. However, by early February we had decided that Cara MacKenzie was not my cousin from Detroit, after all, but my wife, and that winter Gibsonton had one of the biggest weddings it had ever known. Perhaps she was not as gorgeous as a brunette as she had been when blond, and perhaps the few surgical alterations in her face had taken a slight edge off her beauty, but she was still the loveliest woman in the world. And more importantly, she had begun to evict the emotionally crippled Rya, who had been a goblin of a different breed within her. The world went on, as the world does. That was the year they murdered our president in Dallas. It was the end of innocence, the end of a certain way of thinking and being, and some were despondent and said it was the death of hope as well. But though falling autumn leaves may reveal skeletal branches, spring reclothes the wood. That was also the year that the Beatles released their first record in the United States, the year Skeete r Davis's "The End of the World" was the number-one song, the year the Ronettes recorded "Be My Baby." And that winter was the winter when Rya and I went back to Yontsdown, Pennsylvania, for several days in March, to carry the war to the enemy. But that is another story. Which follows. DARK LIGHTNING Numerous Paths of night wind away twilight. -The Book of Counted Sorrows Something moves within the night that is.not good and is not right. -The Book of Counted Sorrows The whimper of the dusk is night shedding its busk. -The Book of Counted Sorrows

  19 The First Year of the New War John Kennedy was dead and buried, but the echoing strains of his funeral march took a long time to fade away. Throughout much of that gray winter, the world seemed to turn to no music but a dirge, and the sky was lower than it had ever been before. Even in Florida, where the days were usually cloudless, we felt the grayness that we did not see, and even in the happiness of our new marriage, Rya and I could not entirely escape either the recognition of the rest of the world's dark mood or the memory of our own recent horrors. On December 29, 1963, the Beatles' recording of "I Want to Hold Your Hand" was played for the first time on an American radio station, and by the first of February 1964, it was the number-one song in the country. We needed that music. Through that first tune and those that followed in profusion, we relearned the meaning of joy. The Fab Four from Britain became not merely musicians but symbols of life, hope, change, and survival. That year, "I Want to Hold Your Hand" was followed by "She Loves You" and "Can't Buy Me Love" and "Please Please Me" and "I Saw Her Standing There" and "I Feel Fine," and more than twenty others, a flood of feel-good music never equaled since. We needed to feel good, not merely to forget that death in Dallas the previous November but to distract ourselves from the signs and portents of death and destruction which, day by day, were growing in number. That was the year of the Tonkin Gulf Resolution, when the conflict in Vietnam became a full-fledged war-though no one could yet imagine just how very full it would become. And that may have been the year when the reality of possible nuclear obliteration finally sank deep into the national consciousness, for it was expressed in all the arts as it had never been before, especially in movies like Dr. Strangelove and Seven Days in May. We sensed that we were edging along the brink of a terrible chasm, and the music of the Beatles provided comfort just as whistling in a graveyard can stave off grim thoughts of moldering corpses. On Monday afternoon, March 16, two weeks after our wedding, Rya and I were lying on lime-green towels on the beach, talking softly, listening to a transistor radio on which at least a third of the programming was Beatle music or that of their imitators. The beach had been crowded yesterday, Sunday, but now we had it to ourselves. Out on the lazily rolling sea, the rays of the Florida sun struck the water and created the illusion of millions of gold coins, as if a long-lost fortune from a sunken Spanish galleon was suddenly awash in the tide. The white sand was being bleached even whiter by the harsh subtropical sunshine, and our tans were growing deeper by the day, by the hour. I was cocoa-brown with stored-up sun, but Rya's tone was richer, more golden; her skin had a hot and honeyed sheen of such erotic power that I could not resist reaching out from time to time to touch her. Though her hair was now raven-black instead of blond, she was still a golden girl, the daughter of the sun, as she had seemed when I'd first seen her on the midway of the Sombra Brothers Carnival. A faint melancholy air, like the distant strains of a sad though only.half-heard song, colored all of o
ur days now, which is not to say that we were sad (which we were not) or that we had seen too much and learned too much of darkness to be happy. We were often-even usually-happy. In moderate doses melancholy can be strangely comforting, darkly sweet; it can, by providing contrast, give an exquisitely sharp edge to happiness, especially to pleasures of the flesh. That balmy Monday afternoon we basked in the sun and in our mildly melancholy mood, knowing that upon returning to our trailer we would make love and that our joining would be almost unbearably intense. Every hour on the hour, the radio news told us of Kitty Genovese, who had been killed in New York two days ago. Thirty-eight of her Kew Gardens neighbors had heard her terrified calls for help and had watched from their windows as an attacker had repeatedly stabbed her, crept away, then returned to stab her again, finally killing her on her own doorstep. None of the thirty-eight had gone to her aid. None called the police until half an hour after Kitty was dead. Two days later the story was still at the top of the news, and the whole country was trying to understand what the nightmarish events in Kew Gardens said about the inhumanity, callousness, and isolation of modern, urban man and woman. "We just didn't want to get involved," the thirty-eight onlookers said, as if being of the same species and age and society as Kitty Genovese was not involvement enough to elicit mercy and compassion. Of course, as- Rya and I knew, some of those thirty-eight were almost certainly not human but were goblins that thrived on the dying woman's pain and on the emotional turmoil and guilt of the spineless onlookers. As the news ended, Rya switched off the radio and said, "Not all the evil in the world comes from the goblins." "No." "We're capable of our own atrocities." "Very capable," I agreed. She was silent for a moment, listening to distant cries of sea gulls and to the gentle waves breaking softly on the shore. At last she said, "Year by year, through the death and suffering and cruelty that the goblins produce, they force goodness and honesty and truth into an ever smaller corner. We live in a world that grows colder and meaner all the time, Mostly-though not entirely-because of them, a world in which most of the examples of behavior for younger generations are increasingly bad examples. Which guarantees that each new generation will be less compassionate than the one before it. Each new generation will have a greater tolerance for lies and murder and cruelty. We're less than twenty years removed from Hitler's mass murders, but do most people seem to remember or care what happened? Stalin killed at least three times as many as Hitler, but no one speaks of it. Now, in China, Mao Tse-tung is killing millions and grinding millions more to dust in slave-labor camps, but do you hear many cries of outrage? The trend won't be reversed until "Until?" "Until we do something about the goblins." "We?" "Yes." "You and me?" "For a start, yes, you and me." I remained flat on my back, eyes closed. Until Rya spoke, I'd felt as if the sun were streaming straight through me and into the earth, as if I were utterly transparent. In that.imagined transparency I found a measure of release and relief, a freedom from responsibility and from the grimmer implications of the latest news on the radio. . Suddenly, however, contemplating what Rya said, I felt pinned by the rays of the sun, unable to move, trapped. "There's nothing we can do," I said uneasily. "At least nothing that can make a truly major difference. We can try to isolate and kill the goblins we encounter, but there're probably tens of millions of them. Killing a few dozen or a few hundred will have no real effect." "We can do more than kill the ones who come to us," she said. "There's something else we can do." I did not respond. Two hundred yards to the north, gulls were working the beach for bits of food-small dead fish, scraps of hot-dog buns left behind by yesterday's crowd. Their distant cries, which had sounded shrill and greedy, now struck me as cold, mournful, and forlorn. Rya said, "We can go to them." I willed her to stop, silently pleaded with her not to continue, but her will was far stronger than mine, and my unvoiced pleas were without effect. "They're concentrated in Yontsdown," she said. "They've got some sort of nest there, some hideous, stinking nest. And there must be other places like Yontsdown. They're at war with us, but they wage all the battles entirely on their own terms. We could change that, Slim. We could take the battle to them." I opened my eyes. She was sitting up, leaning over me, looking down at me. She was incredibly beautiful and sensuous, but there was fierce determination and steely strength beneath her radiant femininity, as if she were the incarnation of an ancient goddess of war. The gently breaking surf sounded like far-off cannonades, echoes of distant strife, and the warm breeze made a sorrowful sound in the feathery palm fronds. "We could take the battle to them," she repeated. I thought of my mother and sisters, lost to me now because of my inability to tuck my head down and stay out of the war, lost to me because I had taken the battle to Uncle Denton instead of letting him wage war on his own terms. I reached up and touched Rya's smooth brow, touched her elegantly sculpted temple and cheek, her lips. She kissed my hand. Her gaze was locked on mine. She said, "In each other we've found joy and a reason to live, more than we ever thought we'd have. Now there's a temptation to play turtle, to pull our heads into our shells, to ignore the rest of the world. There's a temptation to enjoy what we have together and to say to hell with everyone else. And for a while . . . maybe we'd be happy like that. But only for a while. Sooner or later, because of our cowardice and selfishness, we'd be overcome with shame, with guilt. I know what I'm talking about, Slim. Remember, unti l recently, I lived like that: interested only in myself, in my own survival. And day by dreary day I was being eaten alive by guilt. You've never been like that; you've always had a sense of responsibility, and you won't be able to shed it, no matter what you think. And now that I've acquired a sense of responsibility, I'm not going to be able to give it up. We aren't like those people in New.York who watched Kitty Genovese being stabbed to death and did nothing about it. We just aren't, Slim. If we try to be like that, we'll eventually loathe ourselves, and we'll start blaming each other for our cowardice, and we'll turn bitter, and in time we won't love each other any more, not the way we love each other now. Everything we have together-and everything we hope to have-depends upon our staying involved, making good use of our ability to see the goblins, and meeting our responsibilities." I lowered my hand to her knee. So warm, it was . . . so warm. Finally I said, "And if we die?" "At least it wouldn't be a useless death. "And if only one of us dies?" "The other remains to take vengeance." "Cold comfort," I observed. "But we won't die," she said. "You sound so sure of that." "I am. Positive." "I wish I could be so sure." "You can." "How?" I asked. "Believe." "That's all?" "Yes. Just believe in the triumph of right over wrong." "Like believing in Tinkerbell," I said. "No," Rya said. "Tinkerbell was a fantasy creature sustained only by faith. But what we're talking about here is goodness, mercy, and justice-and those are not fantasies. They'll exist whether you believe in them or not. However, if you believe, then you will put your beliefs into action; and if you act, you will help insure that evil doesn't triumph. But only if you act " "That's quite a line you've got," I said. She said nothing more. "You could sell refrigerators to Eskimos." She only stared. "Fur coats to Hawaiians." She waited. "Reading lamps to the blind." She would not smile for me. "Even used cars," I said. Her eyes were deeper than the sea. Later, back at the trailer, we made love. In the amber light of the bedside lamp, her tanned body seemed to be made of honey- and cinnamon-colored velvet, except where her skimpy two-piece bathing suit had shielded her from the sun, and there the flawless fabric of her was paler and even softer. When, deep within her, my silken semen suddenly began to unravel in swift liquid threads, it seemed that those filaments were sewing us together, stitching body to body and soul to soul. When at last I softened and shrank and slipped from her, I said, "When will we leave for Yontsdown?" "Tomorrow?" she whispered. "All right," I said. Outside, the descending twilight had pulled with it a wind that came in from the west, across the Gulf, whipping the palms and rattling the bamboo and soughing in the Australian pines. The metal walls and roof of the trailer creaked. She switched off the light, and we lay together in the gloom, her back.to my b
elly, listening to the wind, perhaps pleased by our decision and the courage we were displaying, perhaps proud of ourselves but also afraid, definitely afraid.