Forever Fredless

by Suzy Turner

  'Freddie you are the sweetest man I've ever met and I love you to bits, but I've put my life on hold for long enough. I need to sort things out. But I'll be back, I promise. Although London is my home, so is New York, now. I've decided to flit between the two cities, so you'll see a heck of a lot more of me in future.

  'Really?' he sighed. 'You promise?'

  I nodded. 'I promise.'

  He hugged me tight.

  'You don't need me to come to Canada with you?'

  'You need to be with Andy, right now. I'm okay on my own, I need to spend a little time alone. I'll be fine.'

  'Okay, if you insist. But you'd better come back real soon, honey.'

  Two days later, Andy and Freddie waved me off from JFK Airport. I was alone again, but totally relaxed and looking forward to what the future would hold.

  CHAPTER FORTY

  Toronto. A great city filled with the friendliest people on Earth. It didn't take me long to figure that out. It started with the flight attendants, who were like long lost friends, chatting about anything and everything, asking about me - loving my accent. Then the taxi driver, chatting about anything and everything - again, loving my accent. Then the person I'd arranged to meet to pick up my keys. She was just lovely, very chatty and helpful, giving me her phone number, should I need anything at all.

  And then, when I popped into my local supermarket, the staff busied all around me making sure I found everything I needed.

  Every single person I came across seemed genuinely delighted to meet me. They were full of smiles and joy and it was totally contagious. For the next week, I wandered around on my own, sight-seeing, full of the joys of spring. I visited the CN Tower, where I almost had the knickers scared off me on the Edge Walk. I had palpitations just thinking about it. But I had to do it. Since becoming friends with Freddie, my perspective on life had changed. I'd become braver, more willing to do the kinds of things I would always have been terrified of doing before. So, while there, I also took up the opportunity to grab a helicopter ride over Niagara Falls. It was breathtaking, thrilling and and oh so loud.

  After two weeks of enjoying everything the city had to offer, I had made up my mind about the apartment and what I should do next. I would let it out, long term, and return to London to finally proceed to stage two of my life. With all my money, I had to start investing wisely. So as soon as I got back, I'd make an appointment with a (real) financial advisor and see where I should be putting my cash. Then I would start dating again. I would no longer look for black-haired, blue-eyed ghosts; I'd allow myself to casually date anyone that took my fancy. Freddie had taught me that.

  'You must find your own soul mate, other than me, of course,' he'd smiled. 'And if he is short, with ginger hair and freckles, so be it. But to find him, you must start dating. And if that means going out with a hundred frogs, then so you shall.'

  I'd laughed at the time, but soon realised he was absolutely right. When it finally dawned on me, I'd chuckled for about an hour - in the comfort of my three bed Toronto apartment, of course. Freddie had become my fairy godmother and, when I'd realised that, I'd called him to tell him so. He'd laughed so hard down the phone. The next day he'd emailed a picture of himself, dressed up like something out of Cinderella. How I loved that guy.

  So, with my bags all packed, I hopped into the taxi and headed for Toronto airport, where I'd done the whole self check-in business, which never failed to confuse me. Afterwards, I spent a little time wandering around the shops, buying some perfume for Jo, a cute teddy bear for Carly (even though I knew she was getting a little old for that kind of thing), chocolates for Anna and John, the latest copy of Canadian Vogue and some Canadian tea for Julianne, maple syrup for Tony and a Canada teapot for Zara. I'd already sent Liz and Jorge a beautiful print of Niagara Falls - I just knew it would go really well in their living room. All my purchases were held by the shop, who assured me they would be on my flight when I left.

  Happy I hadn't missed anyone, and as it was already early evening, I decided to head to the bar for a little drink.

  Sitting on a barstool, the barman turned and flashed me a wide grin.

  'Hey,' he said. 'What can I getcha?'

  'Erm, I think I'll have a glass of white wine, please.'

  'One white wine, coming right up,' he smiled, grabbing a bottle from the refrigerator below the bar. Pouring it in front of me, he looked at me and squinted. 'Do I know you?' he asked.

  'I don't think so.'

  'Yeah, I've definitely seen you before. Hm,' he said, placing the wine in front of me and rubbing his chin. 'Are you famous?' he laughed.

  I shrugged my shoulders. 'Not really.'

  'Ah, you've intrigued me. Clearly, you are well known. Come on, spill the beans,' he laughed.

  Throwing my head back, I laughed aloud. 'Really? You really want to know?'

  'Absolutely,' he said, leaning forward slightly as he started drying a number of wet glasses. 'I'm all ears.'

  'Yes, I'm sure you are,' I chuckled and started to tell him all about my brief encounter with the British press.

  'Yeah, I remember now,' he said mid-way through. 'I knew I'd seen that pretty face before.'

  'Really? How come? I'm sure the news didn't spread all the way across the Atlantic Ocean.'

  He shook his head. 'No, it didn't. But I spent several months in London recently and I read all the papers while I was there.'

  'Oh God, really?'

  He nodded with a chuckle.

  'So, what have you been up to since then?'

  'I spent a little time in the Azores, nearly two months in New York, and a brief two week spell here, in Toronto and here I am, ready to go home.'

  'I must say you look very relaxed. You had a good time?'

  'Very. It was exactly what I needed.'

  'So what happened to the guy then?' he asked.

  I laughed. 'What guy?'

  'You know, the guy you were searching for?'

  'Oh, I guess I've come to realise he just doesn't exist. Not any more, anyway.'

  The barman frowned.

  'What?'

  'You really think so?'

  Nodding, I suddenly realised it was the first time I'd talked about Fred for ages, and it was the first time the pang had gone. Those butterflies I always used to get in my stomach, at the mere mention of him, were no longer there. I grinned. Finally. I was over him.

  CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

  Fred...

  It was time to go home and face the music. I'd left England over a year ago and not once had I been in touch with any of my friends. The only way I could move on was to completely cut off everything about my home country. I refused to even read the news.

  Twelve months of travelling the world. India, Malaysia, China, Australia, New Zealand, America and Canada. I'd loved every moment and every second spent was another second to help me forget. The pain I had caused. The pain I had felt. The humiliation. I took a deep breath and walked into the airport. It was now or never. I had to get back.

  With my bags safely checked in, I headed straight to the bar. I needed a drink, something I hadn't done since, well, since D-Day. That's what I'd been calling it, anyway.

  Approaching the bar, I saw the back of a brunette with an attractive figure as she stood up and walked in the opposite direction. Something about the way she walked was vaguely familiar, but I shook it off and went and sat down in the same seat.

  'Hey,' said the bartender.

  'Hey yourself. Can I get a beer, please?'

  'Sure. Any particular brand?'

  I shook my head, 'I haven't had a drink for months, so no, any one will do. I'm sure they'll all taste the same, anyway.'

  He nodded and handed me a Bud.

  'Cheers,' I said as I let the cool liquid flow down my throat. Immediately, my muscles seemed to sigh in relaxation.

  'Oh, that's good,' I smiled.

  'So, how come you haven't had a drink for a few months?'

  'Well, now that's a long s
tory.'

  'All I got is time, buddy,' he said, leaning on the bar.

  'I haven't talked to anyone about it, actually, not anybody at all.'

  'Hey man, it's good to talk, you know?'

  I laughed, 'Yeah, you're right. I stopped drinking about twelve months ago, after I got really drunk at my stag do.'

  'Stag do?'

  'I mean my bachelor party.'

  'Bachelor party? So where's the bride?'

  I raised my eyebrows, 'Now there's the thing. I called off the wedding.'

  The bartender sucked air through his teeth and cringed as I continued.

  'I'd always known she wasn't the one, but I figured I had to get on with my life, you know?'

  He nodded.

  'I was ready to go through with it, I was going to marry her, have a family. Live happily ever after,' I chuckled. 'But then... BAM.'

  'Bam?'

  'Bachelor party.'

  'What happened?'

  He was clearly intrigued.

  'I saw her. She was at the club. Man, she looked just like her, you know?'

  The bartender shook his head and leaned forward, 'Nope. You lost me, man.'

  'Oh, sorry. The thing is, I've always been in love with this other girl and I always hoped to find her one day, you know? But I never did, so I decided to settle for someone else. That's when I met my bride to be, Katelyn. She was a real sweetheart, but she deserved to marry someone who was madly in love with her. I wasn't. But it didn't really hit me until my bachelor party, when I went back to a hotel with another woman. That woman, man, she could so easily have been the girl from my childhood. The girl I saw when I was just a kid. We'd spent just minutes together but I knew then that she was the girl for me.'

  'What happened?' he whispered, hanging on to my every word.

  'I was on holiday with my mum, some caravan park we went to once or twice before she died. There was this kids’ disco. It was silly, you know? But I was only twelve and so I joined in and there, on that dance floor, was where I saw her. The most beautiful young girl, hazel eyes, brown hair. She was the prettiest thing I ever saw. It was like it was just her and me, you know? And then she was gone, her dad came and got her. I followed her, rushed over to a nearby garden and picked a daffodil,' I chuckled. 'Then I ran over to her to try and give it to her, but she had to go before I got the chance. I never even spoke to her. Not a word. Not a single word.'

  The barman stood with his mouth wide open. 'Did you never go back? Never try to find her?'

  'My mum died and I was sent to Wales to live with an elderly uncle. I never got the chance.'

  'Flight BA 092 is now boarding. Please make your way to Boarding Gate...'

  'Oh, that's my flight. Shit, I'm running late. I gotta go. Keep the change,' I yelled as I threw a few notes onto the bar. 'Thanks for listening!' I rushed away, just noticing him pick up the phone in an apparent panic.

  As I approached the boarding gate, I realised I was the last to board the plane.

  A pretty blonde flight attendant was on the phone; her eyebrows knitted together before a huge grin appeared on her face. 'Right, okay Danny, I got it. And yes, he's right here. I'll sort it. Yep, I'll see you tomorrow. Bye,' she carefully put the phone down and looked at me with a cheeky smile. Was I missing something?

  'That was Danny.'

  'Erm, okay.'

  'Danny was the bartender you just left.'

  'Oh shoot, did I not leave enough money?' I said, thinking either that or I'd left something behind. I patted down my pockets but seemed to have everything in check.

  'Nope, nothing like that at all. Not to worry. I'd better get you on board.'

  Totally confused, I wondered what was going on.

  The blonde woman grinned at me and checked my passport.

  'Erm, we've had to change your seat, Mr. Jones.'

  'You have?' I was a little annoyed because I'd booked that seat on purpose, as it had a bit more legroom.

  'Yes, you've been upgraded,' she grinned, 'to first class.'

  'First class? I've never travelled first class before.'

  'Well then, I do believe you're going to have a very special flight, Mr Jones,' she winked as I walked through the gate, leaving me excited yet confused.

  As I approached the aircraft, another pretty attendant flashed me a huge smile. 'Good evening, Mr Jones. I believe you've been upgraded to First Class?'

  'Yes, I think so.'

  'Please follow me.'

  I gingerly followed closely behind, looking at the wealthy travellers already in their seats. I smiled nervously until she stopped and pointed to my seat. Wide-eyed, I still couldn't quite believe I'd been upgraded and my heart felt like it was in my mouth. I imagined someone suddenly appearing out of nowhere and loudly accusing me of stealing their seat or something. So I quickly sat down, letting her see to my bags.

  As I turned to look at my nearest traveller, my breath literally caught in my chest and my skin went numb. I'd never had palpitations before, but my heart felt like it was about to jump out of my chest.

  'Mr. Jones are you alright, sir?' asked the attendant, who looked at me with concern.

  I slowly nodded with a smile.

  'Danny the barman did this, didn't he?'

  She grinned and nodded, putting a finger over her mouth as if to say, 'shhhhh, don't tell anyone'.

  I nodded and laughed. Tears unexpectedly sprang from my eyes and rolled down my cheeks as the girl in the next seat suddenly turned to look across at me. I swear my heart stopped beating in that very second.

  Her expression mirrored mine and slowly, very slowly, the most beautiful smile began to creep across her face.

  'Marc?' she whispered.

  Nodding, I wiped my eyes, completely embarrassed.

  'It's you,' I whispered. 'You're the girl from Skegness aren't you?'

  She covered her mouth with her hand and slowly nodded her head in utter disbelief.

  'You're... you're... him?

  I nodded. 'I'm so sorry about before. I hope you'll forgive me for leaving you like that.'

  She looked so confused and my heart felt like it would break.

  'I was supposed to be getting married... until you.'

  She held her breath and shook her head. 'You didn't, did you?'

  I shook my head, knowing I could finally be happy. I had finally found the woman of my dreams. The woman I'd fallen in love with, all those years before.

  THE END

  Suzy Turner's books

  Raven (The Raven Saga)

  December Moon (The Raven Saga)

  The Lost Soul (The Raven Saga)

  Daisy Madigan's Paradise (The Morgan Sisters)

  The Ghost of Josiah Grimshaw (The Morgan Sisters)

  The Temporal Stone (The Morgan Sisters)

  For more information, visit

  www.suzyturner.com

  www.fictiondreams.com

  Table of Contents

  Copyright

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

  CHAPTER THIRT
Y-TWO

  CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

  CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

  CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

  CHAPTER FORTY

  CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

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