Paranormal Dating Agency: Her Mane Men (Kindle Worlds Novella)

by Ever Coming

  “How about we put it a different way. When you got up to use the facilities, neither of us stood up even though it is the gentlemanly thing to do.”

  “Okay?” It wasn’t like we were still trapped in the days of old. Heck, my boss only held the door so he could look at my ass and made no pretense of it being anything else.

  “And I’m the one who says things wrong.” Parker shook his head in mirth, “Maddie, what he was trying to say far too subtly for any kind of understanding is that we stayed seated because neither of us wanted you to see our boners.” Yet again, a knee hit the table. “Owww. It’s true.”

  “And she’s a lady.” Curtis scowled.

  “A lady who gives you two boners.” Boy, did I like the sound of that. Me, giving two hot guys who were already getting it regularly, boners. And suddenly all felt right in the world. Not because I gave them boners, but because they were both fine with admitting it, and I was fine repeating it back. That level of comfort so soon was a good omen. I could feel it.

  “Two peas,” Curtis laughed, both of us joining in.

  Chapter Four

  “Something you want to tell me?” I asked the moment Roxanne answered the phone. I waited until seven her time, given it was Sunday and she had a little one who thought five a.m. was sleeping in.

  After my men, for that was how my brain now thought of them, put me in the cab, bidding me good night with small pecks on the cheek, all I could do was think about them. It was nearly sunrise when my brain started to settle down enough for sleep. My eyes had barely closed when they popped open again, and I gave up. Who needs sleep when you have so much to process.

  “Whatcha mean?” She sounded as tired as I was but without the adrenaline I had pumping through my veins.

  “Parker. Curtis.” I punctuated each name.

  “Barry’s friends?” Okay, so maybe she didn’t know. I assumed they knew her through Barry, since they called her Roxy, the nickname he preferred.

  “Yeah.”

  “Nice guys. Nerdy, but hot nerdy. Cute couple. Why? How do you know them?”

  The baby began to cry, and I waited a moment for her to pick her up, which, from what Roxanne said was always her goal. I needed to get out there to see her before she was all grown up and no longer wanted auntie snuggles. Kids grew so fast.

  “Sorry. I’m back.”

  “I figured she wanted a cuddle.” Last time I saw Emily, she was only a few days old and, from the sounds of things, she still ruled the roost. She was in for a rude awakening when her brother was born.

  “Always.” She sighed, but you could hear the contentment in her voice. She was made to be a mother. “So, the guys. How do you know them? Is Parker’s company upgrading the tech at your work or something?” Huh, she really didn’t know. Her conclusion was a logical one, since they hadn’t updated a thing since she’d left, and they were badly in need of it even back then.

  “More like they hired the same dating agency I did and that’s who I went to dinner with last night.”

  “Wait, what? But they are together, together.” I had to laugh to myself. I’d had this huge conspiracy theory in my head about how Roxanne arranged this all and it turned out to be dumb luck—or possibly fate. Yeah, fate. I was going with that.

  “This I know.” I left out how I spent the night thinking about just that as I let my hand wander south. There was something so freaking hot about knowing they were into each other in that way.

  “And you have no penis.” I didn’t correct her that it was looking like that was about to change, and I was going to have two penises. She might die of shock at my thoughts given how much I’d dragged my heels about the entire dating thing.

  “Who has no penis?” Barry’s voice echoed through the phone. He was not a quiet man.

  “Sorry honey, I didn’t mean to wake you. Maddie has no penis.”

  “Good to know.” I could picture him shaking his head at what I’m sure he equated to one of her antics before adding, “Going back to sleep.”

  “Sorry, let me take this to the next room.” A few moments passed, and she conspiratorially whispered into the phone, “I need to hear all the things.”

  And so that’s what I gave her. Every last detail, at least the ones while we were on the date. No need to share my alone time activities.

  “Whoa, so what are you going to do?”

  “Date them both I guess.”

  “But you never date anyone, and now you’re on board with two?”

  “Have you seen them?” I made my way to the coffeepot, finally admitting to myself sleep was just not going to be a thing, and began to make my coffee.

  “Not as hot as Barry,” she countered. I mean sure, Barry was attractive and all, but the way he was the most gorgeous guy on the planet in her eyes was what had me smiling. Their love was so filled with just that –love. If anyone deserved it, it was her.

  “I’m not even getting into that one with you.” Arguing over whose guys were hotter was a contest nobody won. Besides, I had two, which was an unfair advantage. Or maybe, had two. At least I was going to try my hand at two. “To answer your question, yes, I am going to date them both. It feels right.”

  “Hold on a second.” The couch squeaked as she got up, I assumed to put the baby down. “Barry, can you hold the baby?” Or to wake her sleeping husband. “I need to talk S-E-X with Maddie.”

  And, nope. That was not going to happen. No sex was happening yet, but even if it was—nope not happening.

  “Your friend with no penis?” She was never going to live that one down.

  “That one.” Emily fussed for a brief moment before, I assumed, snuggling into her father’s arms. He was born to be a father just as much as Roxanne to be a mom. They were the epitome of the loving family. “Although it looks like she has two now. Penises, I mean.”

  I wanted to hide, even though neither of them could see me. She did not just say that to my potential boyfriends’ friend. She did not. Except she totally did.

  “What are you saying? It’s not even eight on a Sunday. I need short, precise sentences.”

  “She was set up by Gerri with Parker and Curtis.”

  “Huh, good on them.” Wait, what? And he was so speaking that loudly so I would hear. How was this the norm to him? “They’ve been looking for their third for a long time.”

  “And this seems normal to you?” Roxanne seemed as shocked by his response as I was. Maybe three was the new two?

  “Put. Him. On.” Because I had apparently grown a pair of balls the night before.

  “She wants to talk to you. Give the baby back. If you’re going to talk S-E-X with my bestie, that is definitely something she shouldn’t hear.” Good old Roxanne. No worries that I might be talking sex with her hubby, which I so was not, but that her baby might hear and understand the conversation.

  “You do know she’s a baby and understands none of the words.” Barry was on the same page as I with that one.

  “Not the point.” The phone fell or was dropped onto what I assume was the bed, by the time of day and lack of cracking.

  “Maddie?” Barry was enjoying this one.

  “Yeah, hey Barry sorry to wake you,” I lied. I wasn’t sorry. I’d waited until their time zone was latish enough. Besides, he had knowledge I needed.

  My coffee finally brewed, I poured a cup, adding extra milk so I could drink it right away.

  “It’s part of the whole parent thing. I was mostly awake. What’s up?”

  “You know what’s up. What did you know about Curtis and Parker?”

  “You could do much worse.”

  I had no doubt that if I were there he’d be smirking, knowing he was fluttering me with the lack of details I desperately wanted. In so many ways, he treated me like a kid sister, something I had appreciated when he came in and swept Roxanne off her feet. I didn’t lose her, I gained a brother, even if they were not as close by as they once were.

  “Not helping.”

  “Fine.
I grew up with Curtis. He’s good people but was always so serious.” Was? I scoffed. Is. He is so serious. “Then Parker moved into town, and suddenly he was much less so. Only they were destined for a triad, and even though they love each other, they aren’t complete. Looks like Gerri thinks you’re the third. Good on you.”

  “You sounded all kinds of not sane there.” He did, too. Why I thought I could get info out of him was beyond me. I knew better. “People don’t just pair off in threes, goes against the whole pair thing.”

  “Yet, you are.”

  Asshat was right. I was and no part of me wanted not to give it a try. Sure, I was a tad worried I was going to get my heart tromped on, but that was par for the course when dating one person, so no different in that perspective.

  “I am. Am I crazy?”

  “Not in the slightest. It’s just how you all were wired.” He said it as fact, as non-factual as he was sounding.

  “You need coffee. You’re making no sense.” Or all the sense in the world.

  “True, coffee is needed, but do all three of you a favor and go with what feels right, not with what you think love should look like. Look at Roxy and me. We shouldn’t work, but we do.”

  There was nothing about them that shouldn’t work.

  “Shouldn’t work? You two were made for each other. It practically gives me a cavity to be in the same room with you.” Not lying, not even a little bit.

  “And yet conventional wisdom would say we weren’t given my –um family.”

  “Just give her back to me and get some coffee.” I knew his family hadn’t been too welcoming but for all I knew that was in the past, where it belonged.

  “Will do. And Maddie, come visit. Roxy misses you something fierce.”

  And I her, probably more than even she knew. We weren’t only friends, we had been coworkers and roomies. Her leaving left a hole in my heart that still hurt sometimes. I was happy for her, but that didn’t prevent me from having a pity party every once in a while.

  “Will do. Now give her back.” A plan was already in the works. Next vacation, I was headed her way, hopefully before the baby came so I could help her ready. She wanted me to paint him a mural like I did for, Emily and I already had a sketch ready for approval. I was just waiting for word from George the asshat that I was good to go before booking my plane.

  “S-E-X talk over.” Roxanne was back on the line and eww, as if sex talk were going to happen with Barry. Just nope.

  “Never started.” She snort laughed, my guess at something her hubby was doing in the background more than my words. I so didn’t want to know. “Your hubby was less than helpful.”

  “I was eavesdropping, so believe me, I get it. And, Maddie, he was right, come visit. Maybe for Christmas.”

  Thanksgiving was my plan, but I didn’t want to get her hopes up because George was being an ass about vacations and pretty much all things. “If I can get the time off. George is being a shit again.”

  “How did he ever get to be a division head? I’m so glad to be outta there.”

  “He can be charming when he wants to.” Mostly, he felt the need to be in charge and an ass, but that didn’t need stating, she knew it firsthand.

  “Too bad he mostly wants to stare at boobs and make inappropriate comments.”

  She wasn’t wrong, but, somehow, he managed to make anyone who complained look like the troublemaker. It was awful, but sometimes you gotta put up with shit for your paycheck and until he crossed an easily distinguishable line, that’s what I was doing—putting up with shit.

  “Your boobs, my ass, but same scenario.”

  “Mention it to Sue?”

  “Canned.” And being the one who put him in his place when things got bad, her loss hurt more than most would’ve.

  “What for?” I could almost see the glee in her eyes over good gossip.

  “Hand in the cookie jar.”

  “No way. Do tell.” And we spent the next hour talking about all things work, but in the back of my mind sat two men. Two men I wasn’t entirely sure what to do with, yet. But I was beyond motivated to figure it out.

  Chapter Five

  A morning date.

  A Monday morning date?

  Who does that? Apparently, Curtis and me. That’s who, and getting up at five, was totally worth it when I walked out of my apartment building to see his smiling face. He wanted to come up to “pick me up like a true gentleman” but my landlord had yet to fix the call box, so meeting him it was, and it was so worth it to walk out, just as the sun was peeking out across the city, to be greeted with his beaming face.

  A not-so-small part of me thought the magic of the other night was just that, for that night, that little moment of time. All that worry disappeared as our eyes met. He was all in. Why else would he get up at the butt crack of dawn to go on a date that would end before most people even got up?

  “Morning, beautiful.” He pulled me into a brief hug. Far too brief, if you asked me. Goodness he smelled yummy. I inhaled again, on the sly, of course, before pulling away.

  “Morning, Curtis.” He was dressed similarly to our dinner date, whereas I wore office clothes. My nicest office clothes, but business attire it was. “Where are we off to on this insanely early date?” When he’d called to arrange the date, I tried to finagle it out of him with no success.

  “Being a planner and a math guy, I looked for options that would maximize our time together without interfering with your employment.” Of course, he did.

  “How romantic.” I was being sarcastic, but it truly was. He was arranging things so we had the most possible time together. If that wasn’t romantic, nothing was.

  “You josh, but just wait, I just may surprise you.”

  Of that I had no doubt.

  He opened his rental car door for me, helping me in before going around to his own. He took off down the quiet streets, weaving through them as if he were from the city instead of a visitor until we arrived at the block my work was on. The car ride was quiet, but not awkwardly so. We just enjoyed each other’s presence in the rare quiet that only early morning brought to the city. He pulled into one of the many open spaces, given the hour, and climbed out of his seat, making his way to my door, watching me the entire time as if daring me to open it before he could. Adorable.

  “We’re having our date at my job?” I asked as he took my hand, helping me from the car, not letting it go as I reached the sidewalk, which was fine by me. Better than fine. Perfect.

  “You will just have to be patient and see.”

  He would learn soon enough that patience wasn’t my strong suit. He squeezed my hand as we walked to the building just past the building where I work before stopping. He didn’t pick a restaurant or a park. Nope, Curtis picked an insurance agency. A closed one, at that.

  “We’re going to an insurance company?”

  “Patience.” He tapped my nose before reaching forward and giving three hearty raps on the door, which was immediately answered by a security guard.

  “Good morning, sir. Everything is as you requested.”

  “Thank you, Stanley. I so appreciate this given the late planning.”

  I was still clueless, but given the obvious effort he put into the morning, I was already impressed.

  “The pleasure was mine,” the man assured him before indicating we should go in.

  Curtis led me to the elevators, pressing the up button and waiting for the doors to open before ushering me inside.

  “How does he know you?” I asked once we were finally out of earshot.

  “Family connections,” was the entirety of his reply before the elevator dinged and out we went, me following his lead but clueless as to where we were going. We finally stopped at a door marked Roof Entry. Authorized Personnel Only. Apparently he was Authorized, because four punches on the keypad later the door was open, sans alarm. Impressive.

  “Close your eyes. I want you to take it in all at once,” he requested as we reached the top. I did
as he asked and took baby steps with his arm now wrapped around my shoulder as he guided me to where we would be having our date. At his command, I opened my eyes to find a breakfast setup straight out of a storybook. On this barren roof in the middle of the bustling city, he’d managed to create a garden-style-breakfast ambiance complete with my favorite indulgence, scones. It was perfect.

  “Oh my! You did all this? For me?” I threw my arms around him, hugging him tightly. No one had ever done anything like this for me. Ever. Not even on a smaller scale.

  “For who else?” He laughed as he hugged me back. “Of course it’s for you, and given the location, you only need to leave a few minutes before work to be on time.”

  The man was a flipping genius.

  “Ten minutes before. My boss is a dweeb.” Or, more accurately, a certifiable asshole.

  “Ten it is.” He held a chair for me and fiddled with his watch before taking his seat, which was blissfully close to mine, instead of being completely across the table.

  “I hope you don’t mind, I called Roxy to see what you liked to eat for breakfast,” Curtis confessed as he held the basket of scones out so I could make my choice of flavor.

  “On the stalker scale, it’s about an eight, but on a romantic scale, a perfect ten, so I think I’ll let it slide.” His eyes softened at my banter. Had he thought his admission would upset me? Heck, he told me to call her about him, not that the conversation had helped much. It was always good to talk to her, though, so there was that. “You know I thought Roxanne finagled this entire thing somehow, but she was clueless.”