To Love Again

by Andria Large

  “You poor thing, are you all right? Is there anything I can get you? Do you want some water?” she blurts in a rush.

  Warwick appears next to us, and he gently extracts her hands from my face. “Diandra, love, calm yourself. He’s been through a lot today and needs to relax.”

  She glances at him before looking back at me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to come on so strong. I was just really worried about you.”

  I shrug, not knowing what to say. I guess he told her about me and my situation. I’m also guessing this is Warwick’s girlfriend or wife or something. They make a damn good-looking couple too. He whispers something to her, making her nod. She then gives me a soft smile before making her way down the hallway and into one of the rooms.

  “Sorry, she’s a bit hyper sometimes.” He chuckles.

  “Girlfriend or wife?” I ask.

  He barks out a laugh, his bright blue eyes glistening with amusement. “In her dreams, maybe.”

  I gawk at him. “Are you crazy? You did see her, right?”

  His eyebrows lift. “I see her every bloody day, mate. She lives here with me.”

  “How could you not be with her, then?” I ask in confusion. This guy has got to be out of his damn mind if he’s going to live with a gorgeous woman like that and not want to be with her. I may be gay, but I’m not blind.

  He grins mischievously. “I don’t really fancy the ladies. Diandra always says if I weren’t gay, she’d climb me like a tree.”

  My mouth drops open. “You’re gay?”

  He sends me a wink. “I am,” he answers before turning and walking into the kitchen.

  I follow him, letting this newfound information sink in. “I had no idea.”

  He glances at me over his shoulder, his expression letting me know he finds this extremely amusing. “It’s not like I wear a sign on my forehead that says I’m gay on it. People usually don’t know until a situation arises and I have to tell them, but I don’t just go up to people and tell them.”

  “Neither do I, but I can usually spot another gay man. I never would have guessed that you were.”

  He pulls out two bottles of water from the fridge and hands me one.

  “Thanks,” I mutter.

  “You’ve got to be hungry; you haven’t eaten in hours. Do you want to order out? Or I can make something?”

  “Whatever you want to do is fine with me.”

  Warwick nods. “Right then, I could go for some pizza.”

  My stomach grumbles loudly at the thought of pizza. Warwick laughs.

  “Your stomach agrees.”

  “I haven’t had pizza in about a year. As soon as Greg started working out more, he started eating healthier and forced me to do it too.”

  Warwick’s gaze softens. “You can have whatever you want now.”

  I nod. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  Warwick orders us a couple pizzas, and then he shows me the spare bedroom where I’ll be staying, the bathroom, the laundry room, and which room is his and which is Diandra’s.

  “I’m going to get changed. Why don’t you go relax on the couch? You could watch some TV or read a magazine. Or just sit and relax if you want.”

  “What channel should I put on?” I ask.

  He gives me an odd look. “Whatever channel you want, mate.”

  “Shit, I’m sorry.” I sigh. “I’m practically programmed to ask before I do almost everything.”

  He nods sadly. “That’ll take some time to get over. Just know you don’t have to do that here. You’re free to do as you please, and that includes not watching TV if you don’t want to.”

  I swallow hard and nod, fighting back the burn of tears. It’s definitely going to take time to get over what Greg has done to me.

  Chapter THREE

  WARWICK

  I WALK down the hall, pulling on my T-shirt. As soon as I hit the living room, there’s a knock on the door. Jack, who is on the couch, jumps to his feet, his expression terrified, and looks like he’s ready to run. Breaks my heart.

  “Just the pizza, Jack.”

  His wide eyes flip to mine, and he blows out the breath he was holding. “Pizza, right,” he wheezes, his body slowly relaxing.

  I open the door, take the pizza from the delivery guy, and pay him. As I bring the pizza into the kitchen, Jack joins me.

  “Diandra! Pizza’s here!” I yell, making the poor guy jump again. “Sorry.”

  He shakes his head dismissively and takes a seat on one of the barstools at the island counter. Diandra emerges from her bedroom and joins us in the kitchen. She goes and grabs some paper plates and napkins. I dish out the pizza, handing Jack his first. He seems to struggle with that for a second but shakes his head slightly and picks up his slice.

  “You want a soda, Jack?” I ask.

  He shakes his head. “I’m not allowed…,” he starts but snaps his mouth shut and squeezes his eyes closed. He pulls in a breath, then opens his eyes to look at me. “Yes, please.”

  I give him a nod, then go in the fridge and grab three Pepsis. I crack them all open and give one to Jack and the second to Diandra.

  “I propose a toast,” I say, holding up my can of soda. “To new beginnings.”

  Jack smiles as he and Diandra clink their cans with mine.

  “Cheers,” I murmur, then take a sip.

  We dig into our food. The way Jack is moaning and groaning over the pizza has my cock swelling in my jeans. I can only imagine what he would sound like in bed. I’m glad he’s enjoying the pizza, though.

  “Shit, I missed pizza,” he moans, and it sends a shiver of pleasure down my spine.

  Bloody hell.

  After dinner, Diandra insists on cleaning up, so Jack and I go and sit on the couch. I flick on the TV, then hand him the remote. He snorts, giving me a lopsided smile as he puts on the channel he wants, which is the DIY channel.

  “I’ve been meaning to ask you, Jack, what do you do for a living?”

  He motions toward the TV. “I’m an interior designer.”

  “You know, you may want to take some time off until things settle down.”

  He nods sadly. “I know. I’m going to call my boss in the morning. I’m sure she’ll understand. She’s been wanting me to leave Greg for months now.”

  “Okay, good.”

  “I’m going to have to use your phone. I wrote down the most important numbers out of mine, then turned it off, took out the battery, and tossed it in the trash at McDonalds. I know he kept tabs on where I was at all times.”

  “That was really smart, Jack,” Diandra says as she curls up on the love seat adjacent from us.

  “It was. You are more than welcome to use mine whenever you need it. I’ll go get you a new one on my day off.”

  “I can buy myself a new phone,” Jack says, sending me a glance.

  “You are absolutely right. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “It’s ingrained in me to come up with solutions for problems. I didn’t mean to not give you a choice.”

  “It’s okay, really. I know you meant well. I would like you to come with me, though.” His cheeks flushed slightly.

  “Of course,” I murmur, sending him a wink.

  I WAKE up having to go to the bathroom. Glancing at the clock, I see it’s 3:00 a.m. I groan, hating to get up in the middle of the night to piss. After climbing out of bed, I shuffle down the hall and into the bathroom where I take a three-minute-long pee. After flushing and washing my hands, I leave the bathroom. Soft voices coming from the living room catch my attention. I make my way down the hall and find the TV on and Jack sitting on the couch, the comforter from his bed around his shoulders. He glances over his shoulder at me.

  “I didn’t wake you with the TV, did I?” he asks quietly.

  “No, I had to use the bathroom. What are you doing up?” I go over to the back of the couch and lean my hands on it. He’s wearing one of my T-shirts and a pair of plaid pajama pa
nts. They’re a little baggy since he’s thinner and a couple inches shorter than me. Either way, he looks sexy in my clothes.

  “I couldn’t sleep. Every little noise has me jumping. It’s like I’m just waiting for Greg to burst through the door and drag me away.” He shakes his head sadly.

  I hum my understanding.

  “Would you feel better if you weren’t in the room by yourself?” I ask.

  Jack glances at me again, this time his eyes widening slightly. That’s when I realize I’m standing there in only my gray briefs. Shit.

  “I… uh… I don’t know, maybe?” Jack stutters, looking like he’s struggling not to stare at me.

  “I’ll be right back.”

  I go to my bedroom, put on a pair of sweatpants, and grab my blanket from my bed. I bring my stuff out into the living room and tell Jack to move down. He moves to the left end of the couch, giving me the right end. I curl up in the corner with my blanket.

  “You don’t have to stay out here with me, Warwick,” he mutters.

  “I know, but I am. Try to get some sleep, yeah?” I tell him and close my eyes.

  A few moments pass before I hear the TV shut off and feel the couch move as Jack gets comfortable at the other end. It only takes a couple of minutes before I hear his light snores. I smile to myself and drift to sleep too.

  JACK

  MY STOMACH flutters nervously as I listen to the phone ringing on the other end. After the fourth ring, someone finally picks up.

  “Hello?” asks a voice I haven’t heard in over six months.

  “Hi, Mom,” I croak around the emotion clogging my throat.

  “Jack? Is that you?”

  “Yeah, Mom, it’s me.”

  “Oh God, I never thought I’d hear your voice again,” she sobs.

  I sniff and wipe my own tears away. Warwick is in the shower getting ready for work, so I took the opportunity to call my parents to let them know I’m okay.

  “I left him, Mom.”

  The cry of relief that comes from her tears at my heart. It takes her a moment, but she pulls herself together so she can speak to me.

  “Where are you, sweetie? Do you need me to come and get you?” she asks.

  “I’m safe, Mom. A friend is helping me. I don’t want to give you too much information in case Greg comes there looking for me. This way you don’t have to lie.”

  “Okay, okay, as long as you’re safe. I’ve been so worried about you, Jack. I’m so glad you’re okay.”

  “I only got away yesterday. I filed a police report and put in for a restraining order against him. I’m going to call my boss next and take off for a while. I need to stay hidden for a little bit. I’m sure he’s looking for me as we speak, so don’t be surprised if he shows up there. Just call the police if he does. I know the restraining order isn’t going to keep him away, but it will help give me legal action against him if he comes near me.”

  “I think you’re doing the right thing, sweetheart. And this friend, is it a new boyfriend?”

  “No, he’s just a friend. I don’t think I’m going to get into another relationship anytime soon.”

  “I think that’s a wise decision.”

  “I’ll try and come see you as soon as I can.”

  “Okay, sweetie. Only when you know it’s safe to.”

  “Okay. I love you, Mom. Tell Dad I said hello.”

  “I love you too, Jack, and I will.” She sniffs.

  I hang up and pull in a shaky breath. After grabbing a tissue from the box on the coffee table, I blow my nose and wipe my eyes.

  Warwick pads into the living room in gray slacks, an untucked white dress shirt, and bare feet. His normally medium brown hair looks darker because it’s wet. His smile fades when he looks at me, his eyebrows cranking down in concern.

  “Everything okay?” he asks.

  “Yeah, no, I just spoke to my mom. It got a little emotional,” I tell him.

  His blue eyes soften, and his smile returns. “I bet she was happy to hear from you, yeah?”

  I give him a watery smile. “So happy.”

  “That’s good,” he says.

  He continues into the kitchen to make himself something to eat. He glances over his shoulder at me. “Have you eaten yet?”

  “Ah, no, not yet.”

  “Want me to make you an omelet?”

  “No, you don’t have to do that. I can do it myself.”

  “I don’t mind.”

  “It’s okay. I still have to make another phone call anyway.”

  “All right, then.”

  As Warwick goes about making some eggs, I can’t help but watch his back. When I saw him in only his underwear last night, I thought I was dreaming. The man is built so perfectly. He’s got just the right amount of muscle without being ridiculously big. And good Lord, does he have a beautiful ass. When he went to get his blanket, I snuck a glance, and it was so worth it. Even right now, his firm round ass looks amazing in his dress pants. Honestly, I’m surprised I find anyone attractive at the moment. I’ve just been through hell with a complete asshole and I’m ogling another guy? There’s something wrong with me.

  I call my boss, tell her what’s going on and that I need time off. She cries too and tells me to take as much time as I need, that my job will be there for me when I’m ready to return. I really got lucky with such a great boss.

  Once done making phone calls, I get up and go into the kitchen, where Warwick is sitting at the island eating his eggs. I set the phone down next to him.

  “Thank you,” I say.

  “Anytime,” he replies.

  I move around to the opposite side of the island and lean against it. “So what’s your schedule like for today?”

  Warwick finishes chewing and swallowing the bite in his mouth before he answers me. “I work from 10:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. today.”

  “Twelve hours?”

  “Yeah, that’s standard for us doctors, four twelve-hour shifts, then three days off.”

  Panic starts to rise. By myself for twelve hours? What if Greg finds me? I don’t have a phone to call for help. My vision blurs, and it becomes harder and harder to breathe. I barely register that Warwick is talking to me. The room is spinning, and my knees feel like they’re ready to give out. I lean heavily on the counter as black spots dance in my line of sight and my body breaks out in a cold sweat. Suddenly, strong arms are catching me as my knees buckle, and I crash to the floor. Darkness sucks me under, and I give in, letting it take me.

  WARWICK

  WHEN I realized Jack was hyperventilating, my doctor’s instinct kicked in, and I was out of my seat and by his side in a flash. Good thing too, because he passed out as soon as I grabbed him. I can’t remember the last time I saw someone turn that gray without actually being dead.

  I lift Jack in my arms and carry him over to the couch while calling, “Diandra! Grab the smelling salts!”

  Her bedroom door flies open, a confused look on her face. But when she sees a limp Jack in my arms, she jumps into motion. “Holy shit!” she exclaims and scrambles into the bathroom to find the smelling salts.

  I lay him on the couch and kneel next to him. Now he’s out, his breathing has regulated and his color is returning. Diandra appears at my side a minute later, handing me the little capsule.

  “What happened?” she asks in concern.

  “I think he had a panic attack. As soon as I mentioned how long I’d be at work, he started hyperventilating.”

  “Jesus,” she breathes.

  I snap the capsule and wave it under Jack’s nose. He sucks in a sharp breath as he comes to. His arms flail as he tosses his head back and forth, trying to get away from the smell. I toss the smelling salts on the coffee table.

  Jack’s eyes fly open, and he looks around wildly. I reach out to cup his jaw, but he flinches hard and brings his arms up to cover his face, as if I’m going to hit him. Diandra makes a sad noise next to me. I know it’s most likely a gut reaction, but it still sting
s. I doubt it will be the last time it happens either.

  “Hey, Jack. It’s me, Warwick,” I say, dropping my hand.

  He slowly and hesitantly brings his arms down, his eyes finally meeting mine. He frowns hard, glancing at Diandra before looking down at himself, then at me.

  “What happened?” he croaks.

  “You passed out.”

  “I-I did?”

  “Yeah, mate,” I reply softly.

  “Shit,” he mutters and closes his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

  “No worries,” I murmur and shove to my feet.

  I’m trying not to let his reaction to me touching him bother me, but I’m finding it hard to let go.

  “Warwick?” Jack says quietly.

  I look down at him. “Hmm?”

  “I… uh… I’m….” He struggles and swallows hard, his face turning bright red. “I’m afraid to stay here by myself while you’re at work.”

  No doubt that was extremely hard to admit. Especially for a grown man. I give him a small tender smile. “You won’t be alone, Jack. Diandra is off today, and she agreed to stay here with you.”

  He glances at Diandra, who smiles and waves at him. I roll my lips in to suppress a laugh.

  “Um… what if… what if Greg finds me here? She’s no match for him,” he says, then gives Diandra a sheepish grin. “No offense, but Greg is bigger than Warwick.”

  “Is he a level five black belt in Krav Maga?” Diandra asks, eyebrow raised.

  “Uh, no.” Jack looks at her in confusion.

  “Then he has no chance against me, no matter how big he is.”

  Jack looks skeptical and turns to me. “Is she for real?”

  “She can take me down in two seconds, love.” I smirk.

  Jack snorts. “Okay, then.”

  Diandra shrugs as she gets to her feet. “My parents wanted to make sure I could defend myself.”

  “Understandable,” Jack agrees.

  I stare down at the gorgeous man sitting on my couch. His light blue eyes can’t hide the lingering fear. His hair is flopping down over the right side of his forehead, and with the short beard he has, he is totally pulling off the lumbersexual look that’s been popular lately.