Disillusioned

by J. S. Cooper

  Then a text came. There will be a car waiting to pick you up outside your apartment at 8 pm. It will wait for 15 minutes. The choice is yours. Do you want to become mine once and for all?

  I dropped my phone on the bed, my heart pounding fast. What was I supposed to think? Rationally, I knew I’d be a fool to go. What was I expecting from Jakob? And what did he mean, become his once and for all? If I was honest with myself, I had become his the first time we’d made love. My body craved his touch the way my lungs craved air. I needed him to survive. I needed him to exist. Yet, I still had so many questions. Who was Jakob? Could I ever get used to calling him Mattias? Could I trust him?

  I didn’t consciously make the decision to go, but as I found myself in the shower, I knew I had no other option. I had to see this through to the bitter end. I was addicted to Jakob. I needed him to take me to the edge, even if that meant falling over and into the abyss. Stepping out of the shower, I dried my body slowly, thinking about what the night would bring me. I splashed some of my Gucci II perfume on my body and looked through my underwear drawer. What should I wear to make him think I was sexy, but hadn’t come trying to look sexy? I opted for a matching black lace bra and panties. They were simple, but enticing. I shimmied into my favorite black skirt before pulling on a flowy, white blouse. I brushed my hair and blow-dried it before using a flatiron to straighten out all my waves. My hair was shiny and silky and bounced against my back softly as I applied my makeup almost as well as they had done in the department store a couple of months ago. I smiled nervously at my appearance, barely recognizing the girl in the mirror. She didn’t look like Bianca London. The muted green-brown eyes shining back at me possessed a bravery and stubbornness I didn’t feel. I glanced at the clock. It was minutes to eight. I had to make my way downstairs if I wanted to go through with the plan. I felt like a traitor to myself as my heels clicked down the steps. I was serving myself up on a platter to a man that had lied to me and been responsible for my abduction to a deserted island. I was a fool, plain and simple, but in that moment I just didn’t care. All I could think about was him inside me, calling out my name, holding me close to him. All I could see was the look in his eyes as our two bodies became one melded together by a spark so pure that our passion seemed never ending.

  My timing was perfect—a black limo pulled up as soon as I walked outside. The lady beggar across the street looked at me as I made my way toward the car. I knew she was wondering what was going on, if I was some sort of escort. It wasn’t every day that a black limo pulled up outside my building, and I’d certainly never been in one before. A driver jumped out of the car before I could blink and made it to the pavement to open the door for me.

  “Good evening, Ms. London.”

  “Hello.” I waited for him to give me his name, but he didn’t say anything else. “Are you taking me to see Jakob?” I asked him lightly as I slid into the back of the limo. “I mean, Mr. Bradley?”

  “Mr. Bradley is waiting for you, Ms. London.”

  “He’s not planning on taking me anywhere, is he?” I laughed nervously. “Like to another island?”

  “Would Ms. London like to vacate the car?” the driver said, his expression never changing.

  “Do you think I should?” I asked him softly, feeling uneasy. Why wasn’t he even smiling at me?

  “Mr. Bradley is waiting for you, Ms. London.” I stared directly into his eyes. They were emotionless and it scared me.

  “Do you call him Jakob or Mattias?” I asked softly.

  Only then did I see a small crack in his mask. His eyes darkened and he looked at me with a stoic expression. “We all call him Mr. Bradley,” he said softly. “We daren’t call him anything else, unless he gives us permission.”

  “I see. Thank you.”

  He blinked once as I sat there in the car. “You’d still like to go?”

  “Yes.” I nodded. “Take me to Mr. Bradley.” He closed the door without a word and I sat back, waiting to be driven to Jakob’s house. I had no idea what it was going to look like. Would it be opulent, like his hotel? Or would it be more modest, like David’s apartment? What did he have planned for me? What secrets was he going to divulge?

  I reached into my handbag to text Rosie and let her know where I was going, but then I remembered I’d left my phone on my dresser. I bit my lower lip, annoyed that I had forgotten it. If anything happened, it was going to be hard for me to call someone for help. Though I wasn’t sure whom I would call: Rosie or Blake? I was glad when I felt the paper-towel-wrapped knife still in my bag. If anything happened, I’d stab him hard. Thinking about stabbing Jakob took me back to the island and that final night with Steve. How confused I’d been. For a few seconds I hadn’t known whom I could trust. It was ironic that after all that I hadn’t been able to trust either of them.

  “We’re here, Ms. London.” The car arrived at a gated entrance and we waited for the doors to open. “Are you sure you want to go inside?”

  “I’m sure.” I nodded. I needed answers. I needed to know what was going on. I needed to make sure that Larry was okay. His wife had left the diner in tears, and I hadn’t known what to do or say. How could I apologize? I didn’t even know what had happened to him. This was about more than just me now. Larry’s comments had ignited the questions in my head. What was going on here? Why had he told me to not think about Mattias? What clues had Jakob been trying to give me earlier? I bit on my lower lip as I remembered the name he’d give me. Why had he mentioned Tyler Durden and Fight Club? Was Tyler Durden a clue related to my brother? Was that what he’d been trying to tell me. I wished that I had my phone on me so I could google it.

  “Have you ever heard of Tyler Durden?” I asked the chauffeur as he held the door open for me.

  “The guy from Fight Club?” He frowned. “The Brad Pitt character?” He stepped back as I got out of the car.

  “Yeah, him.” I tried to remember the plot of the movie, but my mind was coming up blank. Why was this the only movie I didn’t know about? “He fights with the Edward Norton character, right?”

  “I think so.” The driver nodded. “They fight, but he doesn’t really . . .” His voice trailed off as he closed the door. “I’m sorry, miss, but I must take you to a special room now. You must listen carefully and follow all instructions. Do you understand?”

  “Yes.” I took a deep breath. What was going to happen to me now? “What happened with Tyler? What didn’t he really do?” I asked the man, but he didn’t respond. I followed him into the house stiffly. It wasn’t what I had expected. The Gothic-looking house, majestic and dark, didn’t fit my image of Jakob. Though I supposed my image of Jakob was as false as everything else I thought I knew about him.

  “Into the study, Ms. London.” He opened the door for me. “You’re to put on this blindfold and these earmuffs and then to come with me.”

  “A blindfold and earmuffs?” I frowned. “Why?”

  “I just follow orders, ma’am.”

  “I guess.” I sighed. “Is that it?”

  “I’m to handcuff you.” He looked down.

  “Handcuff me?” I shivered in the cold room. “Is that necessary?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Am I going to be able to leave?” My head was telling me to make a run for it. None of this was sounding like a good idea. None of it at all. But a part of me was excited. What did Jakob have planned? My nerves were on edge thinking about what he was going to do to me. Implicitly I trusted that he wouldn’t harm me, at least not physically. He’d already had plenty of chances to harm me if he wanted to. He was playing a game with me—some sort of sexual game. And I knew that it was the only way to get answers out of him. I didn’t know if I was capable of winning, though. The way my heart was beating told me that I was too emotionally involved to be smart. However, a part of me didn’t care. A part of me was willing to accept whatever went down.

  The man just stared at me without answering and I held my hands out to him. “Handcu
ff me then,” I said bravely, swallowing hard. This might have been the stupidest move I’d made in my life, but I wasn’t going to know unless I went along with it. The man picked up the handcuffs and locked them over my wrists before blindfolding me with a piece of dark silk. I couldn’t see a thing through the material and I was already beginning to regret my decision.

  Then he slipped a pair of earmuffs over my head and walked me slowly back out of the room and through the house. We walked for what must have been a little over a minute, then I felt him lift me up and place me on what seemed to be a bed. I tried to control my breathing as I felt my head hit the pillow. What did Jakob have planned for me?

  I felt my earmuffs lifted up and then lips pressed against my ear. “In Fight Club, Edward Norton’s character was fighting Brad Pitt’s character, Tyler Durden, but you find out at the end of the movie that he was fighting himself,” the voice whispered quickly in my ear before replacing the earmuff. I lay there, my head spinning as I tried to comprehend what he was saying. Then I remembered. Edward Norton was really fighting himself. Tyler Durden didn’t really exist.

  I lay back for a few minutes thinking, then I felt the soft touch of fingers on my leg. I was no longer alone. The fingers ran up my leg in a familiar way, tickling and teasing me at the same time. I stilled as he ran his fingertips all the way from my ankles and up my thighs, pushing my skirt up as he touched me. He grabbed my wrists and I felt him taking the handcuffs off. I sighed in relief that I was no longer constrained, but then froze as I felt a piece of rope replacing the cuffs and tying my wrists together. Why was he putting rope on my hands?

  His fingers ran over my stomach and then across my breasts. I was ashamed that my nipples were already hard, but he seemed to enjoy that, as he ran his palms across them several times. I lay there, unsure of what to think and feel. My body was on fire and my mind was in shock. Then he slipped the earmuffs off. My ears adjusted to the sound in the room—all I could hear was his heavy breathing and the sound of my own heartbeat. I wanted to say something, but my voice wouldn’t work.

  “You look so beautiful.” The voice was deep and muffled and I didn’t understand why it was so hard to hear him. He leaned down and I felt his lips pressed against mine, kissing me softly. I lay there passively, something in me not feeling right about the situation. I turned my face to the side and he groaned, grabbing it roughly.

  “Don’t turn away from me, Bianca,” he muttered, and kissed me again, his fingers slipping down my stomach. “Did you think I’d just let you go? Did you think I’d let you play me and not do anything?” He rubbed the outside of my panties roughly. “I’ve wanted you for so long now.” I breathed in his musky scent, and while it was familiar, I knew it wasn’t Jakob. It wasn’t my Jakob at all.

  I felt him sliding my panties down and felt my legs being pushed apart and fingers touching me before he kissed me again. I breathed in his fragrance one more time and I finally understood the reference to Tyler Durden. It didn’t make sense, but it was the only logical answer. Jakob wasn’t Mattias. There was no Mattias.

  “Jakob?” I whispered, and the man next to me froze, telling me all I needed to know. “I know who you are. I know what’s going on.” My voice was angry.

  “You do?” His voice sounded hard and I marveled at what a good actor he’d been. Only a few times had I ever seen him so upset. He’d played me well, though I’d thought I was playing him. He kissed me hard again, then squeezed my breasts. I felt his tongue between my legs and my body buckled as I closed my thighs on his face and tried to shift away from him. The feel of his tongue and his technique confirmed it to me. I wasn’t sure why I’d been so stupid. All along I should have known the truth. When I was on the island, Jakob had made it clear to me that his father had never married his mother. He wasn’t David’s full brother. David’s mother was married to Bradley senior, David’s mother was Bradley senior’s wife. And Jeremiah Bradley would never have given his bastard the power over the company that Mattias wielded. That meant that Jakob was not Mattias. And if everything I was starting to think was true, it also meant that a far greater lie had been taking place for a long time.

  “Do you like this, Bianca?” His mouth left my wetness and he kissed me on the lips. I felt his hands on my face as he slid the blindfold off. “I want you to watch me as we make love.” He grinned down at me, his green eyes lacking emotion. “This will be our first time.” He touched my face lightly. “I want it to be perfect for you, Bianca.”

  I blinked up at David, not feeling surprised. I’d known from the minute he’d touched me that it wasn’t Jakob. I stared into his eyes and he gave me a small half smile. Now I knew why Jakob had told me not to trust David. He had been up to no good from the very beginning.

  nine

  “What are you doing, David?” I blinked up at him, my body still shaking slightly from the tingles and anger that were invading my body in equal waves. I tried to kick him and he laughed, a hollow, unsympathetic sound as he held me down.

  “What you wanted me to do.” He grinned at me and ran his fingers across my lips. “What you’ve been wanting from the beginning.”

  “Where’s Jakob or Mattias?” I asked softly, though part of me already knew the answer. It was the only answer that made sense, though it didn’t make any sense. The driver had known that it was a setup and he’d tried to warn me as best as he could, but I’d been stupid. I wanted to kick myself at how many stupid decisions I’d made.

  “Mattias couldn’t be bothered to come. He told me to take care of you for him.” David shrugged and his right hand stroked up and down my stomach. His fingers felt rough and aggressive and I shifted on the bed uncomfortably.

  “David,” I pleaded. “Please untie me. Don’t do this.”

  “Why? You going to be a fucking tease again?” He stared down at me, nostrils flaring. “You think you can just be a cocktease and get away with it?”

  “David.” I took a deep breath. “Please, don’t do this. This isn’t who you are. This isn’t who we were.”

  “You think you can play me? You think that after everything you can just use me and expect that you’re not going to pay?”

  “David . . .” I froze as I heard a loud bang. “What’s that noise?” I frowned as he jumped up as well.

  “Who’s there?” he shouted, and walked toward the door. I struggled, attempting to free my bound hands as he walked away.

  “What the fuck is going on?” Jakob burst into the bedroom, his eyes manic as he stared at David and then at me tied to the bedpost. “Bianca.” Jakob’s eyes narrowed as he stared at my panties around my ankles and my wrists tied above my head. “What did he do to you?” Jakob’s voice was hoarse and he looked like Mars, the god of war, angry and ready to go to battle.

  “Please untie me,” I begged him. He strode toward me as if carried under a power not his own.

  “Mattias to the rescue.” David laughed bitterly.

  Jakob quickly untied my wrists, his face angrier than I’d ever seen it before. He glanced into my eyes and stroked the hair off my forehead. “You okay?” he whispered down at me, and I nodded. “Good.” He touched my cheek and turned around.

  “She looks pretty tonight, doesn’t she?” David laughed.

  “Shut up before I kill you, you motherfucker.” Jakob turned toward David. “I will fucking kill you.”

  “Why?” David sneered. “I had her before you. And she didn’t say no as I just brought her to orgasm again. She loves my tongue, though I think she’d love my hard cock even better. She used to love it when I . . .” He started laughing maniacally.

  I stared at him in shock as he laughed. Jakob walked over to him and punched him in the face.

  I watched as David fell back and looked at his brother with hatred. “What the fuck?” David glared at Jakob. “Bros before hos, man.”

  “I don’t know what you’re playing at, David.” Jakob pulled him up off the floor. “I could kill you right now without blinking an eyelid.
”

  “You’re just jealous of me. You always were and you always will be,” David sneered. “You’re the illegitimate son. You’ve always had something to prove. You can’t stand being under me. You can’t stand that I run the company.”

  “What are you talking about?” I looked at both of them in confusion. What was going on here? “I thought you didn’t work at Bradley.” I looked at David in confusion. “I thought you just lived off of your trust.”

  “Stupid girl,” he sneered. “You still don’t get it? I’m the one in charge. The big boss. The CEO. I more than work at Bradley Inc., I run it.” He smirked as he watched me.

  “But Mattias . . .” I didn’t even know why I was bringing him up anymore. I didn’t understand what the fuck was going on, but I knew that there was no Mattias.

  “There is no Mattias,” Jakob said softly, confirming what had been in the back of my mind for a little while. He turned to look at me, a look of pity on his face. “There is no Mattias, Bianca.”

  “I don’t understand.” My voice cracked. “What do you mean? Why would you create a fake person?” David started laughing, a loud, hysterical sound. I stared at his face and noticed just how calculating he looked, just how deceptive his eyes were. How had I ever thought this man was boyish and charming?

  “Did you really think you were that smart, you dumb bitch? Did you really think I would lead you to Mattias?” David looked at me disdainfully. “Did you really think you could con your way into a shareholders’ meeting of one of the biggest companies in the world and not be found out?”

  I chewed on my lower lip and stared at him, not saying anything.

  “Larry called me and told me that you’d asked him to procure shares to come to the meeting. We both knew that there was only one reason for you to be at that meeting.”

  “Larry told you I was coming?”

  “Yes, ‘Uncle Larry’ told me everything.” David laughed. “He told me about the boxes of papers your dad left for you. I told him to destroy them, but I think he felt guilty, so he handed them to you. Worst decision he ever made. If he’d just destroyed those boxes, he could have saved all of us a lot of aggravation.”