by K. M. Raya
She shook her head, trying not to get lost in the beauty of his features, but it was incredibly difficult. She had to keep reminding herself that he didn’t feel the same way. As much as he fascinated her and made her heart flutter, she knew he was feeling the exact opposite. He might be somewhat physically attracted to her; he’d expressed that much that day in the tower, but she also knew he would never see past her family history enough to feel something more.
“Before my mom dragged me out of the ballroom, I was still there, watching your parents tear through our friends and family like sacks of meat.” His dark eyes flashed. “It’s the reason I can’t let go of it. The reason I don’t sleep anymore.”
Blue looked away, feeling guilty for the millionth time in her twenty years of life. No child should ever have to see the things they saw. Even Slayer children. Where was the innocence? They’d lost every ounce of it that day, and even now, ten years later, it still haunted them all. She sniffled, but bit back her tears, not willing to let Dresden of all people see them. “I don’t know what to say…”
“There’s nothing I need you to say, Blue.
“Why did you come after me tonight?” She looked back into his eyes in time to see them flit away. He gazed up at the darkened windows of her house and frowned.
“I saw you leaving campus. You looked like you were up to your usual bullshit, so I figured I’d come too, just to make sure you didn’t get yourself killed.” His mouth flattened in ot harsh line. “You seem to be really good at getting yourself into life or death situations.”
Blue rolled her eyes. “I was fine before you scared the shit out of me.”
His lips turned up reluctantly. “Sure, you were.” He looked around again, glancing up at the sky. “Let’s get out of here before the rains come, I don’t want to be a sitting duck in case any of your vampire friends decide to come to dinner.”
Blue laughed, but it was more like puffing air out of her nose as she moved to turn away. Dresden caught her by the arm and whirled her back around. She stumbled a bit until her chest bumped his. Their faces were close together, and their icy breath mingled as white steam filtered from between their lips. His eyes darted back and forth between hers. She didn’t understand what was happening. Why was he holding her there? Why wouldn’t he let her go?
He looked conflicted, and his hands shook on her upper arms, tightening ever so slightly as he held her in place. His eyes dipped to her lips, and she couldn’t help but lick them. His face lowered slowly, and she held her breath, unwilling to break this moment and send him running. She knew she shouldn’t be letting this happen. She made that mistake before and knew how it would end. She knew he’d just leave again.
Closing her eyes, she felt his soft, full lips as they grazed hers so carefully that the kiss was almost barely even there. There was absolutely no pressure on her lips whatsoever, save for a soft graze that had her knees trembling. She couldn’t understand why he had this powerful of an effect on her. She’d been touched, kissed, fucked hard and so fast that it made her head spin, but the way he held her like every small moment was fleeting and breakable was enough to make her whole heart ache. When they were this close, she longed for him to reciprocate her feelings. She needed him to see her the way she saw him, but she couldn’t get her hopes up. She couldn’t handle any more pain.
“What are you doing to me?” he whispered against her lips. She could feel the heat of his breath hit her skin. Opening her eyes, she looked into his and saw a torn man. She saw a strong man, who was burdened by loss and grief. A man who was at a crossroads, and who was looking for someone to tell him it was alright.
Blue leaned in, placing a soft, barely there kiss on the corner of his mouth. He sucked in a breath, closing his eyes tightly as his fingers shook on her arms. Reaching up, she stroked his cold cheek beneath the edge of his black hood, running the pad of her thumb over his barely there stubble. She sighed sadly, knowing the moment was over. “Let’s get back.”
She stepped away from him, though reluctantly, and she could see the moment reality came crashing back into him. His shoulders straightened, and his eyes grew distant. “I’ll give you a ride back to your car,” he clipped, turning away from Blue and striding down the darkening street.
Blue just stood there for a few moments watching him go. She knew tonight had changed something between them, she just didn’t know what. All she knew for sure though, was that these brand new unwanted feelings swirling around in her gut were probably going to be the death of her someday.
Chapter Twenty One
The first day of the Trials had arrived, and it was like a wave of excitement and school spirit had suddenly washed over the campus. Ronnie woke her up that morning before dawn, dragging her out of bed for breakfast and an early morning run. She knew the run was just an excuse to go stalk the Guardians as they set up for that night’s game.
Guardian Trials were somewhat similar to the Olympics, only on a much smaller scale. The games consisted of strength challenges, logic trials and teamwork exercises. The only ones that competed in them were the graduating senior wolves who would go on to become Guardians after the closing ceremony. Blue had the chance to go to a few of the Trials before her exile, and remembered how excitement filled the air the whole week long.
Cole had been busy preparing the field for the sporting events all week, so she was surprised to see him in the training room with Mr. Orozco that afternoon. With more pep in her step, Blue set her gym bag down, removed her weapons and made her way over to her wolf before the start of the lesson. His eyes snapped to hers as she got closer, and a feral gleam lit them up, making her buzz pleasantly from head to toe. The way he watched her, looking her up and down and practically fucking her with his eyes made her ache to drag him out of the classroom and have her way with him against a wall somewhere.
The feelings and urges she couldn’t suppress were entirely foreign to her. She never thought she’d be the kind of hormonal mess of a girl who committed the tragic social faux pas called PDA. But there she was, letting Cole Harlan drag her into his muscled arms and devour her until she was moaning under her breath. His tongue snaked into her mouth, making her feel the need to clench her thighs together. His rough, calloused hands skimmed her bare sides. She thanked the gods she’d only worn a sports bra and leggings that day.
Feeling eyes on them, Blue forced herself to let his lips go, though he grumbled when she pulled away. His eyes were molten gold when she looked up into them, and they traced her face reverently. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in days,” he murmured, rubbing his right palm up her arm.
She smiled softly. “It’s no big deal; when the Trials end you can spend all the time you want in my bed.” She didn’t know where this forwardness was coming from, but something about the man made her feel… feral.
He rumbled, and she felt it to her toes. “Don’t make promises like that, little Slayer, you don’t know what you’re offering.” He brought his body flush with hers again, but this time, she could feel the unmistakable hard bulge of his cock as it pressed into her stomach through those grey sweatpants that still drove her wild. Bending down, he brought his mouth close to her ear. “As soon as I have a second to spare, I’m going to fuck you so hard you’ll need to take a week off training, and then I’ll fuck you again, just to make sure.”
She couldn’t explain the thrill that burned through her. His words should have made her furious, or maybe a little afraid, but all they did instead was make her crave him. She was practically salivating. Idly, she wondered if all of these raw emotions had something to do with the mate bond. She knew something had already started forming the moment they climaxed together. It was like there was an invisible tether holding the two of them together. It was impossible to ignore now. She wondered if those feelings would diminish or go away altogether when the bond was sealed completely… when he finally claimed her.
“Well isn’t this just adorable…” came a low, familiar scratch of a voi
ce from behind her. Blue cringed all over, and Cole just frowned at her reaction, not understanding what was going on.
Turning around in Cole’s arms, she met Vanessa’s sneer with one of her own. “Morning, Guardian,” she snapped. Cole’s hands tightened around her upper arm.
“Morning, V, what are you doing here?” Cole asked the wolf girl.
Vanessa tore her glare from Blue and her brown eyes softened as she smiled at him. “Orozco asked if I’d help out today.”
Anger bubbled in Blue’s stomach. She just knew that was bullshit. Somehow, Vanessa’s orchestrated this whole shit pile. Somehow, she worked it out that Cole helped teach one of Blue’s classes, and she managed to worm her way in just to fuck with her. She could tell it was true just from the smug ass smile of the girl’s stupid face.
Before anyone could say another word, Mr. Orozco strolled in and started class. Reluctantly, Blue peeled herself out of Cole’s arms, but not before he managed to plaster another sexy kiss on her lips. Right in front of Vanessa. She knew the girl had to be steaming mad, and a not so small part of her soul warmed just a little at that.
Before she knew it, half the class was over, but she’d been distracted. More and more, Orozco paired Vanessa with Cole, asking them to perform several arrangements and formations that were at a higher level than any of the Slayers in her class. Blue already knew most of the formations, so she spent the majority of the class trying not to openly glare that the bitch while she had her hands all over Cole.
She knew Cole could tell something was up. Every so often, he’d cast her a strange, perplexed look. She knew she was acting crazy. There was no fair reason for her to suspect anything amiss, especially with how casually he’d greeted Vanessa with Blue still in his arms. She felt like an idiot for his potential infidelity to have ever crossed her mind. She didn’t like that she was turning into a jealousy monster. It just wasn’t in her nature to compete for a man. Hell, when she came to Arcane in the first place, she wasn’t even looking for a man, let alone two or three. But here she was, tracking Vanessa like a homing beacon and hating herself for it.
When class was over, Blue moved to her bag and downed an entire bottle of water, ignoring the fact that Cole stood in the corner of the room chatting with Vanessa. Slinging her bag over her shoulder, she caught his eyes just before she left the room. She made it halfway down the hall before he was shoving her up against the wall of a small alcove.
“What the fuck is up with you, babe?” he growled. She wiggled, trying to push him away, but halfheartedly. He huffed again. “You’ve had a fucking attitude since the second we started class. What aren’t you telling me?”
Looking up into his amber eyes, she narrowed hers. “What’s up with Vanessa?” she sneered while saying her name.
Cole’s eyes lost a bit of their anger, and a smirk tilted his lips. “Is that what the murder looks are all about? You jealous?” His canines were showing now, and she had to actively ignore the way they made her body itch to be bitten by them.
“I don’t do jealous,” she lied. “I just want to know why the hell that bitch thinks it’s okay to attack your girlfriend in the woods.”
Cole went utterly still, eyes narrowing into slits. “Attacked you? V?” he laughed bitterly. “I doubt that very much.”
Pushing him away, Blue crossed her arms over her chest. “What the hell is that supposed to mean? Vanessa attacked me in the woods the other day. She choked me against a tree…”
His looked like he was fighting an eye roll. “Baby, I’ve known V since we were three years old, and that doesn’t sound like her at all.”
“So, you’re calling me a liar,” she deadpanned. Her heat was sinking. It was obvious he didn’t believe a word she said, and it made something inside of her crack a little.
He shook his head—brown hair falling around his shoulders in messy waves. She hated how she noticed these little details while she was seething mad. “I’m calling you confused.” He stepped closer, but she just thrust a hand between them, keeping him at least two feet from her chest. He frowned down at her hand. “Are you serious right now?”
“I know what I’m talking about. It was Vanessa. I know that without a single doubt in my mind and whether you believe me or not is apparently irrelevant. She warned me to stay away from her mate.”
“V doesn’t have a mate…”
Rolling her eyes, Blue huffed. “No shit—do you even understand what I’m getting at here? Think about it, Cole.”
“You need to stop this, you’re clearly confused. Vanessa’s been my best friend since we were just pups. We’ve never been like that before and never will be; she knows that. Why would she go out of her way to track you down?”
“Again, you’re calling me a liar…” Her heart was now drying up and shriveling in her chest. Her chest physically ached and she fought against the instinct to rub the ache.
“Baby, don’t act like this. I’m sure it was all just a misunderstanding.” His voice was soft and pleading, but it just made her angrier. The fact that he didn’t immediately defend her was a little shocking.
“I’m not your baby—” she spit, slipping out from between him and the wall. He reached for her but she batted his hand away. “Don’t fucking touch me, Cole.”
“Cole, they’re waiting for us at the track,” came Vanessa’s annoying voice from the hallway. She rounded the corner, before pulling up short when she saw them. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt—”
“You weren’t, we were just going over this week’s lessons,” Blue sneered. She walked around the corner, ready to get the hell away from both of them. Flicking a look over her shoulder, she met Cole’s cold eyes with tears brimming in hers. “He’s all yours.”
*
The punching bag swung, almost knocking into the ground before bouncing back up to meet her fists. She’d opted for a midnight workout, rather than her usual late-night snack. She had energy to burn and a certain face she wanted to picture as she punched the daylights out of the stuffed bag in her private gym at the top of the tower.
Over and over again she ran over her conversation with Cole. She couldn’t come to terms with the fact that he’d let her go so easily… and for what? For some she-wolf ‘best friend’ with bad intentions? How could he not see the conniving little brat behind those smokey eyes of hers?
Another few hits to the punching bag and she felt her knuckles start to bleed. Add the fact that as soon as she got back to her dorm, Ronnie had accosted her with wild plans of dress shopping and preparations for the banquette at the end of Trials week. She’d completely forgotten about that little detail. Her body felt hollow the moment Ronnie brought it up. She’d felt the wind leave her sails, and the crushing weight of her past land abruptly on her shoulders, not to mention the fact that she didn’t have any money to buy a fancy dress for a one-night event. All the money she and Harlow had been able to save up working menial jobs had gone to keeping a roof over their heads after their parents’ estate and all their assets had been cut off.
She didn’t even want to think about the banquette. The last one she’d attended had ended with a bloody massacre that even ten years later she hadn’t been able to scrub from her memories. The faces of all those Slayers who lost their lives that night at her parents’ hands flitted through her mind like a morbid carousel of betrayal and loss…
She’d been alone when it happened. Tucked into bed and already dozing off into dreamland when she heard the first of the screams. She could still remember the sharp strike of terror that lanced her chest the first time she heard it. It wasn’t a normal scream—it wasn’t even one of fear… it was a scream of agonizing pain. She remembered being so scared that she shrunk down into her comforter, shaking like a leaf and hoping it was all just a bad dream and she would wake up the moment her mom and dad got back from their hunt. They would hug her and kiss her on the forehead before reading her a bedtime story and make everything better.
But little had sh
e known they were already back. After a solid thirty minutes of shrill screams and the thundering of hundreds of feet from the floor below her bedroom, she thought it was all over. She thought the nightmare would come to an end and she would be safe… but her bedroom door creaked open.
When the comforter was ripped from the bed, Blue screamed louder than should have been possible for a little girl so small. Backing away frantically, Blue was shoved into the corner where her bed met the wall while her mother hovered over her small body—salivating and frothing at the mouth like a feral beast. Her once bright blue eyes were an oily back, and her hair hung in blood-soaked ropes around her hunched shoulders. Her needle thin teeth were too big for her once bow shaped mouth, tearing at the skin around the edges. Behind her, another figure fumbled in the hallway.
Blue cried and she screamed. She choked and she screamed some more while her mother snarled and curled in on herself, looking like she was fighting some kind of internal battle. A battle she was clearly losing. Blue recalled the way her mother’s clothing had stuck to her skin, utterly saturated in the blood of fallen Slayers. She knew it because the sounds from down below had all but stopped, save for the odd gurgling scream here and there. Whatever happened down in that ballroom had been terrible, utterly savage.
Blue’s mother leapt onto the bed, feet straddling either side of her youngest daughter as she heaved. Black blood dripped all over her white sheets. Blue’s throat was raw from crying, and she was running out of time. Slipping her little hand beneath her lacy white pillow, she wrapped her fingers around the child size stake her father had given her on her ninth birthday—just a few months earlier. She held the stake in her grip like a lifeline.
Cocking her head to the side, her mother’s movements were all wrong. There was a distinct lack of humanity in the way she moved her limbs. Still, Blue had no idea why she wasn’t dead already. The vampire should have drained her dry by now, but something was stalling her. Looking into her mother’s now soulless eyes, Blue found the courage to crawl up onto her little knees and she knelt in a pool of black drool.
