First she showered and washed her hair to remove all traces of dirt. Then she could not resist indulging in a bath, rationalizing that it would sooth her muscles that were sore from shoveling. The bathroom she and Alex shared at the ranch had only a shower. Nan had assured her that she was more than welcome to use the tub in one of the other bathrooms, but she was reluctant to impose.
It was odd that she didn’t mind imposing on Sean. But he had a way of not making it feel like an imposition. It was more than that, she realized. It was as if he wanted her to impose. He wanted to do things for her. As did Alex, she thought, only the difference was that Sean seemed to understand what she really did want . and need.
Sean was surprised that Sophie was not out of the shower yet. He had given her a half hour. Much safer that way. So much for safe, he realized when he heard the Jacuzzi jets whirring. Now what was he supposed to do? He was standing outside his bathroom door, visualizing her naked in his bathtub. He would never look at that bathtub the same way again.
Desperate, he grabbed a beer from the refrigerator and turned on the television. Surfing through the channels, he passed up a garden show featuring herbs, a movie with horses, a cooking show, finally settling for car racing. Good. Anything that did not remind him of Sophie. Damn. Someone in the crowd was eating an ice cream cone. He grabbed the remote and turned off the television.
After five minutes he knew he had to get out of there. He would tell her he was going over to the pub and to just let herself out. He tapped softly on the bathroom door. Just as he did, it opened. As hard as he tried, he could not get his eyes to close or his hand to reach up and shut the door.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I didn’t mean to—I must have pushed it harder— I was just going to tell you—I think I’ll—Your boots are by the— I brought the clothes up—They’re on the—”
Sophie laughed. “It’s okay, Sean. You didn’t push the door. Just as you tapped on it, I opened it.”
“But—”
Sophie’s smile could have melted an iceberg, definitely his heart. She wasn’t even angry. Sean couldn’t quite grasp that concept as he stood there staring at her, trying really hard not to look below her smile.
“It’s fine. Really. It’s not like I’m naked or anything.”
He wasn’t sure having a tiny towel wrapped around her incredible body constituted “not naked.”
“Do you think you could hand me some of the clothes to try on?”
“Uh, yeah. Sure. Of course.” He forced himself to turn toward the chair where he had set the jeans and T-shirts. “I’ll uh put them in the bedroom. That way you can try them all on.”
“Thanks, Sean.” She happily followed him toward his bedroom where he laid the clothes down on the queen-sized bed that was somewhat made, if having thrown the covers back into place qualified as somewhat made.
Still staring at her, Sean backed toward the door. The lopsided smile that she interpreted as apologetic had not left his face. Nor had the look in his eyes that she was having difficulty interpreting. At first glance, she would have categorized it as warm. But now she was thinking more along the lines of desire. She convinced herself that her second thought was simply her imagination. But she did have to admit that she liked the idea of Sean McCullough finding her desirable. She mentally scolded herself for those thoughts and reminded herself that she was engaged . to his cousin.
By the time Sophie came out of the bedroom, wearing a new pair of low-cut jeans and a short midriff-revealing V-neck shirt—what was he thinking?—Sean had made her a cup of tea and started on a second bottle of beer.
She was rubbing her hair with a towel in an attempt to dry it. No make up. Bare feet. He thought she had never looked more beautiful, except maybe when she was sweaty and caked with mud in the horse stall that afternoon. He grabbed his camera from the coffee table and snapped a picture.
“What? Are you planning on blackmailing me?”
“No, just capturing you in your natural state.”
“For—?
He had to think fast. He could not exactly confess that he wanted as many pictures of her as his camera would hold so that he could look at them day and night when he was on his trip . and afterward. “To show your father, if I find him.”
Sophie smiled. Of course. Why hadn’t she thought of that?
“Have a seat.” Sean motioned toward the couch.
“I should probably get going.” She settled onto the couch anyway.
“I made you tea.”
“Well, after my tea then.” She curled her feet underneath her and looked around the room. What was it about this place? Besides the fact that it was directly upstairs from her favorite store and ice cream fountain? But there was a lot more to it. It was the apartment itself. It was anything but lavish, although the bathroom was certainly luxurious. The stone fireplace with the rustic wooden mantel was straight out of a country design magazine, just her taste. Whatever it was, she felt more at home in this room than anywhere else she could think of.
“Do you want me to go downstairs and get you a hair drier from the store?” Sean asked.
“Oh, no. I don’t want you to open a new one. I’ll just towel dry it. Better to keep the frizz away.”
Although he loved what she classified as frizz, Sean was just fine with that. It meant that it would take longer and that he would have her to himself longer.
They talked about his trip to Rhode Island, his schedule and plan of action. Sophie found herself wishing she could go with him, but he assured her, he would keep her updated as he went.
“We don’t even know if he’s still living there. Most likely not.”
“But you’ll call me the minute you know?”
“Of course.”
“And if he’s there, I’ll fly out right away.”
“What will Alex think?” He regretted the question the moment he had asked it. The last thing he’d wanted to do was bring up his cousin.
Sophie sighed. “I don’t know. But I guess I’ll find out eventually when I tell him what we’re doing.”
Sean snapped another couple shots of her, curled up on his couch. These would be the photographs he looked at most. She was exactly where he wanted her. Alone, with him. In his home.
“When are you going to tell him?”
Sophie cringed. “When I have to, I guess. He’s been so busy since he’s been here.” She sighed. “His one flaw. Being a workaholic.”
“Only one?” Sean joked.
Sophie smiled. “His biggest flaw. That and—”
“Shutting himself off?” Sean finished for her.
It was something she was just beginning to learn about Alex. “You know him well.”
“Yeah. I do.”
Becoming slightly uncomfortable discussing her fiancé when he wasn’t there, Sophie gently put the attention on him. “What about you, Sean? What’s your flaw?”
“Me? I’ve been told I’m stubborn as hell.”
“Is it true?”
“Maybe. When I want it to be. And I can be moody.”
“And rude?”
He winced. “On occasion.”
“And sarcastic?”
“That too.”
“Anything else while we’re at it?”
“I’m good at rationalizing.” He took a deep breath. Really good. “And I wear my heart on my sleeve.”
“Do you?”
He cleared his throat and struggled to regain some semblance of equanimity. “What about you, Soph? What’s your flaw?”
She smirked at him. “Don’t you remember? Other than that inclination of mine to fantasize and idealize, I’m perfect.”
“Almost,” he muttered under his breath. “I know what your flaw is.”
“What?” She was more anxious to hear his answer than she wanted to admit.
“Low expectations. You settle for too little.” Otherwise you wouldn’t be engaged to my cousin. You’d be with someone who can love you for you.
“I think I like the perfect option better.”
“Sorry. If you were perfect, you wouldn’t settle the way you do.”
“I don’t settle.”
“Yeah you do. For less than you deserve. And you’re not perfect for another reason.”
“What’s that?” She wasn’t sure she liked the direction this conversation was taking.
“You’re in love. With the wrong man.”
Sophie sucked in her breath. Before she could let it out, Sean had stood up and walked out of the apartment. It was not her imagination. The look she’d seen in his eyes, more than once, was not a look of friendship. And she could no longer deny that when she saw that look or even thought about it, the chills running up and down her body reflected her own attraction to him.
But how could she be attracted to Sean McCullough when she was engaged to his cousin? She grabbed her purse and pulled out her cell phone, dialing Arielle’s number. It only took her one minute to confess her attraction to a man who wasn’t her fiancé.
“What’s wrong with me? What am I doing?”
“Don’t get carried away, Soph. It’s not like you’ve cheated on Alex. It’s natural to be attracted to other men. You have a thing for Jude Law, remember?”
“Yeah, but that’s different.”
“Why?”
“I’m not likely to ever meet him.”
“And if you did? Would you still feel guilty for being attracted to him?”
“How do you manage to make sense of things so easily?”
“I’m a therapist. It’s what I do.”
“Oh, yeah.”
“So, now stop feeling guilty. Enjoy yourself. Just don’t go lusting after him or anything.”
Sophie laughed. “Not quite my style.”
“Unless you’ve had too much to drink,” Arielle reminded her.
“Oh yeah. But that only happened once.”
“Three times, but who’s counting? Now stop beating yourself up.”
Sophie sighed. “Okay. I guess I’d better get back to the ranch . and Alex.”
“Do me a favor, Soph.”
“What?”
“Make sure you’re doing the right thing.”
“Aha! So you do think there’s something else behind my attraction to Sean.”
“I have no idea. I just want you to be sure that whatever you do, it’s the right thing . for you.”
As soon as she hung up, Sean walked through the door. He was smiling and acting as if nothing had happened, as if he had not all but admitted he was attracted to her . and even possibly had feelings for her. Okay, if that was how he was going to play it, she could too. Happily. Anything not to disrupt the wonderful friendship that had developed between them.
Sophie looked down at the box Sean handed her. A hair drier. “I told you not—”
“You know perfectly well, the last thing you want to do is go back to the ranch and try to explain to Alex why your hair is wet.”
Did he know her that well? Apparently.
Sean sat down in the chair across from her and looked at her hard. She tried to look away, but her eyes betrayed her.
“Why do you do that, Sophie?”
“Do what?”
“Let Alex control you? Why don’t you stand up to him?”
Sophie exhaled and her shoulders sank along with her expression. Sean wished instantly that he could take back his words. But damn it, he was leaving in two days for Rhode Island. He didn’t have much time to get her to see the truth about her relationship with Alex.
“I do stand up to him.”
He shook his head. “Who are you trying to convince here? What are you so afraid of?”
Sophie sighed and gave up. She couldn’t hide anything from him. Maybe she didn’t want to. “I don’t know what I’m afraid of, Sean. Losing him, maybe?”
This time Sean felt the energy drain out of him. Didn’t she get it? If she had to worry about losing someone, she did not really have him in the first place.
“I don’t know why I feel like I have to try so hard. Maybe it’s because I’d just like a man to stick around for a change.”
Sean wanted to slap himself upside the head. How stupid could he be? Apparently no man had ever stayed in her life, obviously beginning with her father. Still, she had to know that it wasn’t because of anything she had done. If a man loved her, he would stay. And if he didn’t, he was a fool.
“You don’t have to try to keep a man, Sophie. You just have to be you.”
“Hasn’t worked yet.”
“Maybe you haven’t given it a chance. Maybe you get what you expect—men to leave.”
Sophie inhaled. How had he known that about her? Especially when she hadn’t even known it herself. “You’re right,” she whispered as she set down the hair drier. “I do expect the worst.” Her eye lashes flickered and she raised her eyes to meet his. “So, what should I do?”
“You start appreciating yourself and realizing how incredible you are. That’s what you do. And then you stand up to Al— you stand up for yourself. You dig deep inside and find the strength and the courage to assert yourself, to be you.”
“In other words, you think I’m some little weakling who can’t stand up for herself.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“But you think it.” She put her feet squarely on the floor and stared at him. “Hey, I want you to know that I have plenty of gumption.”
Sean couldn’t help himself. He laughed. A lot. “Gumption?” He couldn’t remember the last time he’d heard that word. From his grandparents, he was sure.
Blushing, Sophie admitted, “Okay, so my favorite Christmas movie—other than the classics—is The Holiday.”
“Sorry, never heard of it.”
She feigned shock and horror. “With Kate Winslet and Jack Black?” Clearly no bell was ringing. “Cameron Diaz and Jude Law?” She pressed her hands against her heart. “Sooo romantic. Especially the way Cameron and Jude fall in love. He’s so emotional and she’s—well, you’d have to see it. But it’s so sweet when she comes to his house and discovers he has two little girls who are so adorable—one is named Sophie, by the way—and they take her upstairs to see their tent and all four of them lie down in it. And they talk. And you realize how they’ve all suffered. But they’re happy lying there together.” She stopped to catch her breath and Sean reached across the table and wiped away her tears with his finger.
She touched her face where his finger had been and took a deep breath before continuing. “So Eli Wallach plays this sweet but cranky old movie writer, Cameron’s neighbor, but since she and Kate have switched homes for the holidays, he’s now Kate’s neighbor and takes it upon himself to introduce her to his favorite old movies.”
“Ah, I think I see where the word ‘gumption’ comes in here. He tells her about the characters in these old movies. Right?”
“Right. They all have gumption. And by the end of the movie, she realizes she does too.”
“Got it.”
“As do I,” she said proudly.
Sean nodded, staring her directly in the eye.
“You don’t agree.”
“No, actually, I do.” He recalled the day she had stood up to him and even given him a taste of his own medicine when she’d taught him how to make ice cream sodas. “I’d just like to see you use it more.”
Sophie snarled at him and he laughed. He loved her sassy and sitting on his living room couch. Hell, he loved everything about her. Especially her gumption.
Chapter 15
“Thanks, Sean.” Sophie looked up at him as they walked to the truck together. “I really appreciate . everything.”
She reached up and hugged him around the neck. For a moment Sean thought he was going to lose it. It took every ounce of restraint not to press his lips against her forehead and pull her body against him so she would know exactly what she did to him.
“No problem,” he whispered, his voice hoarse.
Sophi
e pulled back slightly so she could see him, and for a moment he thought she was reading his mind. Why not? He’d pretty much told her how he felt. Yeah, she was naïve, but she had to have understood what he was saying when he told her that her biggest flaw was being in love with the wrong man. A part of him wished he could take back the slip of his tongue. But the other part was glad he’d said it. It was time she knew.
“You’ve been really great, Sean. It really means a lot to me.” She was still looking up at him with innocent eyes, and the most sensuous mouth he’d ever seen. “A Kiss to Build a Dream on” echoed through his mind. That was all he needed, he told himself. Just a kiss.
Vaguely aware of a vehicle pulling up to the curb, Sean stepped away from her. If it was Skye, he was in deep shit. If it was Alex, he was dead.
“Eight o’clock, tomorrow morning?” she asked. “I’ll meet you at the stables?”
Sean nodded. “See you then.”
He watched as she walked the rest of the way to the truck, a plastic bag with muddy clothes in her hand. He hoped Alex didn’t notice that she was wearing different clothes from the ones she’d left in this morning. Actually, he kind of hoped he did.
“Oh, brother, are you in trouble.”
Sean exhaled at the sound of Cassie’s voice.
He didn’t bother denying it. “Tell me about it.” His eyes didn’t leave the truck as it backed out of the parking spot and headed down the road. “What are you doing here, Cass?”
“Mom needs a knitting needle from the store. Hers broke. She needs to finish a baby blanket for a shower tomorrow. Since you’re here, do you mind opening up?”
Sean shook his head, turning to face her now that the truck was out of sight. “Hey, stop looking at me like that.”
“Then stop looking so guilty for trying to seduce your cousin’s fiancée.”
“I wasn’t trying to seduce her.”
Summer Day Dreams Page 16
