Cassie laughed. “Maybe not, but if I know you—which I do—you were sure wanting to.”
Damn. Did the women in this goddamned village have to know him so well? “Okay, I admit it, I’m crazy about her. There’s nothing I would love to do more than—”
“Take her to bed?”
“And other things.” He unlocked the store and Cassie made her way to the notions section.
“I don’t think I’ll ask what those other things are.”
“Very wise of you.”
“Unfortunately I can’t say the same for you. Not so wise, falling for her in the first place, Sean.”
“You think I don’t already know that?” He scratched his head as if that would help him comprehend what he had gotten himself into. “Believe me, I beat myself up every day for feeling the way I do. Unfortunately flogging myself hasn’t helped one bit.”
“Sorry.”
“Just do me a favor, and don’t breathe a word of this to anyone.”
“Who would I tell?”
“I don’t know. Skye?”
“Still afraid of your little sister, I see.”
“You’d be too, if you ever crossed her. She’s already on my case about it.”
Cassie put an arm around his waist. “So what are you going to do?”
Sean sucked in his breath and let it out slowly. “I’m going to go find her father for her. That’s what I’m going to do.”
Cassie squeezed him harder, resting her head on his shoulder. “And what are you going to do about—about your feelings for her?”
“I don’t know, Cass. I don’t know. But whatever it is, I need to do it soon, before I go out of my mind.”
“I know the feeling.”
Alex pulled into a parking space beside Sean’s truck in front of the store. He recognized the pickup truck on the other side of it. It belonged to the Callahan ranch. Anyone could have been driving it. Doug, Sherry, anyone who worked for them. Anyone, including Cassie.
After stepping out of the Jag, he walked up the wooden steps and peered through the window of the store. Cassie. The lights were dim but he could see her taking something off the shelf. Sean must have opened the store for her. He stepped away from the window so he would not be visible, but he could still watch them. They laughed, talked, put arms around each other’s waists, talked some more. Then Cassie reached up and hugged him. It was a long hug. A very long hug as if one of them was going away.
Had she decided to leave Canden Valley again? If she had, what had provoked it? He doubted Sean was going anywhere. So that left the other reason for the long hug. Just as he’d suspected, they were more than just friends.
“You shopping or just spying?”
He turned abruptly at the sound of Skye’s voice. “Uh. Neither. Just—”
“Spying.” Skye never was one to mince her words. “Pathetic.”
Alex shrugged. “Yeah, I suppose it is. So, what do you think?”
“What do I think about what?” Skye had a sudden urge to slap her cousin upside the head as she had done numerous times to her big brother.
“Them.” Alex nodded toward the twosome inside the store.
“You want to know what I think? About them?” She shook her head and settled for punching him in the arm. “I think you should be thinking about you and your fiancée, not about Sean and Cassie! That’s what I think!” With that she trotted back down the porch steps and headed across the street toward the family bed and breakfast. “McCullough men! They’re a bunch of idiots!”
Alex would have laughed if she hadn’t been so earnest. And as much as he hated to admit it, she did have a point.
Sophie paced back and forth in Alex’s bedroom, wondering where he was and trying to muster enough courage—or gumption—to confront him. Sean was right. She was going to marry this man! She had to be able to talk to him and to ask him questions.
What was she so afraid of? Did she really think that if she came home with mud on her clothes and in her hair, he would leave her? This was the man who loved her and had asked her to marry him. He was kind and gentle and devoted to her. It was time for her to stop fearing his disapproval and to trust him to love and accept all of her.
She closed her eyes, remembering when Nan had come in the house covered with mud after slipping in the field. Grant had hugged her, then taken off her boots for her—much the way Sean had done for Sophie that very afternoon—and instead of looking at Nan in horror, Grant had followed her upstairs, and while she took a quick shower, he had run a bath for her. Then he had come downstairs and prepared the meal she had planned to cook. And Evan and Eleanor. How many times had she seen them wink at each other over some private joke that only they understood because they knew each other so well and loved each other so deeply?
She wanted that. She wanted it all. She was tired of settling, as Sean called it. She deserved more, as Arielle had tried to tell her on more than one occasion. She deserved better.
She would start by making herself speak the truth. All of it. She would stop stuffing her concerns and her feelings deep inside where they were sure to never see the light of day. But why did it have to be so hard? It shouldn’t have been so hard. Even more troubling was the realization that she could talk so easily and openly to Sean and not her fiancé. Why was that? The answer came hard and fast. She could be herself with Sean because he wasn’t afraid of her feelings. And Alex was.
She almost jumped out of her skin when the bedroom door opened and in walked Alex. Just looking at his angry expression told her he was not in a good mood. Did he know that she’d helped clean out the stalls at the McCullough farm? Was he disgusted at the thought of his fiancée dancing around in the mud for two hours?
And if he was? Was that reason to not confront him?
“Where were you?” he asked quietly.
“Where were you?” she asked back, smiling inside at her gumption.
“I went into the village to find you but the store was closed.”
“We must have passed each other.” She was immensely grateful that he hadn’t come looking for her sooner.
“Maybe,” he mumbled, clearly upset about something else. He looked up at her as if seeing her for the first time. “I’m sorry, Sophie.”
“For?”
“It seems I’ve been out of sorts since we arrived here.”
She waited, expecting him to offer an explanation but he didn’t. If she wanted an answer, she would have to ask the question. “Why do you think that is?” Her words were gentle. Having gumption and standing up to someone did not mean you had to be aggressive. Well, maybe sometimes. Other times it just took a willingness to assert yourself.
Alex shrugged and sat down on the bed. Taking his hand, she sat beside him. He smiled at her and reached up to stroke her cheek the way she liked him to. It meant he was seeing her. It meant he cared. “I don’t really know. Being home does that to me. It’s probably why I don’t like coming back here.”
She wasn’t buying it, but short of telling him he was lying, there wasn’t much she could say. She took a couple deep breaths and asked herself what she would say to Sean right now. She almost laughed. No doubt, she would have told him that he was full of it, and that he was basically lying to her as well as to himself.
The question was, could she speak those words to Alex? Apparently not. But she had to say something. No more stuffing. No more settling.
After a long, silent minute, she blurted out, “Does this have to do with Cassie?”
Alex’s eyes flew open and for a moment she saw pain and vulnerability which was quickly replaced with a stoic look of denial. “Why on earth would you ask that?”
Sophie stood up. It helped to be looking down at him. She was a good eight inches shorter than he was and it mattered. The realization that Sean’s height, which was a couple inches taller than Alex’s, never intimidated her, helped her muster her courage.
“Because when you saw her at the picnic, you were—emotional.�
�� When he didn’t respond, she added, “There were tears in your eyes, Alex.”
She could read his face and knew he was going to deny it, to tell her it was her imagination, but she crossed her arms and gave him a firm look. She was not going to be a push-over. She expected the truth and she was not going to budge until she got it.
He sighed and his whole body shuddered. “It’s just that— Seeing Cassie reminds me of sad times. That’s all.”
Sophie waited, hopeful that he would share more without her having to push.
Alex took her hand and pulled her back down on the bed beside him. She was determined, he realized. She was not going to let him off the hook, not this time. It didn’t mean he had to tell her everything. He just had to tell her enough. “Okay, Sophie. If you want to know what happened.” He cleared his throat. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen Cassie. Other than seeing her on occasion when I’ve come home to visit, pretty much the last time I saw her—and spent time with her, was eight years ago when her brother died.”
“Oh my God! How horrible!”
“It was. You’ve no idea. Jeff was only nineteen at the time. Cass and I were a little older. She was twenty. I was twenty-two.” Alex released her hand and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. It was not a subject he liked remembering.
He knew Sophie wouldn’t pry. She would not ask questions he wasn’t ready to answer. She was sensitive that way. She put her hand on his shoulder and gently caressed him. She was good at that, supporting him, comforting him. He wished he were as kind as she was. There was a time when he was. But he had lost that capacity a long time ago. Eight years ago, to be exact.
Now all he wanted was to get back to San Francisco to work and to the life he had created for himself. He was ready to leave. He just had to break the news to his family . and to Sophie. Tomorrow, he thought. He would tell them tomorrow. Right now, he just had to get out of there.
“Matt called me a little while ago. He needs my help with something,” he told her. “Do you mind if I drive over to Winslow to look at some legal documents for him?”
“Of course not. I’ll come with you.”
“Uh. No, I think it’s best you stay here.”
When he saw the disappointment in her beautiful eyes, he almost gave in, but if he did, and if she came along, she would know it was a complete fabrication. Matt did not need his help. He needed Matt’s. And it had nothing whatsoever to do with legal documents or paperwork of any kind.
“I’m sorry, honey. It’s just that, for one, you’ll be bored because it’s all this legal stuff he’s dealing with. And, he’s kind of—”
“Embarrassed?” she asked.
“Exactly. He may have messed up and doesn’t really want anyone to know.”
She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. “It’s a good thing he has an attorney for a cousin . and a best friend.”
“Thanks for understanding.” He kissed her lightly on the cheek. “I won’t be late. Promise. Will you be okay on your own?”
“Of course. I’ll probably take your grandparents up on that game of rummy they promised to let me win.”
Alex laughed and snatched up his car keys, anxious to get out of there. Sophie sat on the side of the bed, watching him walk out the door, a sense of relief washing over her. She was proud of herself. She had confronted him and she hadn’t let down when he tried to avoid her question. This was good, she told herself. It was important if she planned to spend the rest of her life with him, that she was able to talk to him openly. Still she wondered why it was so difficult. And if it always would be.
“You’re here for a reason.” Evan McCullough looked his grandson up and down, trying to figure out what that reason was.
“I’m always here for a reason—usually for Gram’s cooking. Or to hear your latest joke.”
“Or to glean some of your grandfather’s wisdom.”
Sean sat down on the swing beside him. “You know me too well, Gramps.”
“Must be a woman.” Evan glanced over at his grandson before lighting his pipe.
Sean groaned. “What makes you say that?” Did he know something he shouldn’t know? Had someone, such as Skye, confided in him?
Evan chuckled. “Well, laddie, other than when you were a boy and wanted advice on throwing a solid punch at one of your cousins, it’s always been about a woman.”
“Good point.”
“So, who is she?” As if he didn’t know.
Sean took a couple deep breaths and let them out slowly. Was this a good idea? Probably not. But as far as he knew, his grandfather had never once betrayed his confidence.
“I have feelings for—I’m attracted to—I think I’m in love with—”
“This can’t be good if you can’t even say her name.”
“It’s not good, not good at all. I tried not to let it happen. I just couldn’t help it. I’m in deep, Gramps. Real deep.”
“Let me guess? You’ve fallen in love with our Sophie.”
He blew out a breath of relief. “Yeah, you could say that.”
“I think I just did.”
“So, what do I do about it? She’s engaged to Alex. Our relationship is already tenuous without this. But damn it! I love her! I really do. And I’m not sure he does.”
“You might want to talk to your maternal grandfather, Sean. You and Alex are both my grandsons. You know I love you equally.”
“Yeah, but you like me better,” Sean said, a grin on his face.
Evan McCullough just laughed and slapped his grandson on the back, figuring if he’d been talking to Alex right now, the conversation would have been pretty nearly identical. But the truth was, the more he had observed Alex and Sophie together, he’d had his doubts. And when he had watched Sean at the picnic, keeping his distance and in one of his moods, he knew the lad was smitten with the young lass. He also knew they would be good together, as good as he and his beautiful wife were.
“Maybe that’s the reason I’m talking to you—because you love us equally,” Sean said, the smile gone from his face.
“How bad is it? Have you told her?”
“No. Not directly. But I think she knows. And I think she has feelings for me too.”
“What makes you say that?”
“The way she looks at me sometimes. And the way she is with me. She’s herself. She’s always herself. She’s not like that with Alex. Things aren’t good between them. If they were, I would be able to keep my feelings in check. Maybe. But I really don’t think he’s good for her. I’m sure he believes he loves her, but I’ve seen him with Cassie, the way he watches her. It’s not over between them.”
Evan wasn’t surprised to hear that. He wasn’t sure it would ever be over between those two. But he knew he couldn’t interfere with this one. It had to play itself out. Besides, it didn’t matter what he said or thought. There was someone else involved here. And she would be the one to make the decision.
“What do I do, Gramps?”
“Nothing, Sean. I don’t think it’s up to you. At this point, there’s only one person who can make the decision.”
Sean wasn’t sure why he had come here. His grandfather wasn’t telling him anything he didn’t already know. Maybe he just needed to hear it from someone else.
Going to Rhode Island would be good for him, he decided. It would give him a break from his village that had become a torture chamber. It would give him a break from seeing the woman he loved with another man. And maybe, hopefully, it would give Sophie a chance to realize how much she missed him.
Matt sat on the couch across from Alex, shaking his head. “You still love Sophie though, right?”
“Of course, I love her. She’s incredible. It’s just—I don’t know. I’m starting to see a side of her that I didn’t know. She’s still wonderful, don’t get me wrong. Hell, I don’t even know why I’m here. It’s not like I can’t figure this out myself.”
Matt laughed. “Sure as hell aren’t doing a great
job of it, are you?”
Alex stood up and started pacing back and forth in front of Matt’s fireplace. “Are you sure the kids can’t hear us?” The last thing he wanted was for any of this conversation to get back to his family . or to Sophie.
“They’re sound asleep. Exhausted from playing soccer and swimming all day.”
“Good. So, any advice?”
“Hell yeah, I have advice for you. But you’re too damned bullheaded to listen.”
‘I am not.”
“Are too,” Matt teased. “But I’ll tell you anyway. Go see Cassie.”
“What? Why? That will just add more confusion to the situation.”
“Precisely.”
Alex tromped off to the kitchen and helped himself to another beer from Matt’s refrigerator. “You’re not helping.”
“You’re not listening. Out of confusion comes clarity.”
“When did you become a philosopher?”
Matt laughed. “I read. And hang out with the grandparents. Seriously, you need to figure out your feelings for Cassie. If it’s over, you’re free to move on. Then you need to decide if you’re moving on with Sophie or not.”
“Of course, it’s over with Cassie. We split up eight years ago. I’ve hardly even seen her in six years.”
Matt scratched his head and looked at his hopeless cousin. “Try telling that to your heart.”
Sophie finished cleaning up the kitchen after another one of Grant and Nan’s delicious dinners. She decided to go for a walk, in the direction of Alex’s grandparents’. Maybe she would take them up on that game of rummy after all. The hound dogs must have sensed her presence because they greeted her as she walked past the stables. When she reached the bend in the road where she could see their house, she spotted a grey pickup truck. Sean’s.
The thought of seeing him again warmed her heart. That realization made her stop in her tracks. But remembering Arielle’s insistence that it was perfectly normal and natural to be attracted to other men, and telling herself that he was a wonderful friend who was going to find her father, convinced her to continue to put one foot in front of the other.
Summer Day Dreams Page 17
