by Delisa Lynn
“Oh shit, woman. I thought you were already gone.”
“Nope, I’m leaving in a few. Why aren’t you ready for the game?” I ask, and then I see a fucking skank walking out of his room. How the hell did I not know she was here?
“See you, Zan. Thank you for last night,” the bimbo says as she walks out the door.
He waves and turns to me. “Sorry Audrey, I thought you were gone.”
“Don’t apologize to me. When your dick falls off, that’s on you, not me. You could have picked someone more attractive at least. She is a whore and she’s in my economics class. Sage, right?” I roll my eyes.
“Uh, yeah, I think that’s her name.”
“You don’t even know her fucking name? God, you drive me crazy. I’m leaving. Good luck today. Hailee and I will be at the game. We’re doing dinner and drinks afterward.” I grab my purse and leave.
As soon as I walk out the door, the only thing on my mind is finding that skank and pounding her head into the wall. I walk to the elevator, hoping that I’ll bump into her. She must have scampered away, though.
I push the button to the first floor and lean back against the wall, wondering why in the hell I’m letting all these girls fuck the man I love.
“I’m a fucking idiot,” I say out loud. The door opens. I walk out as fast as I can. I see the tramp waiting for a taxi. She sees me and watches my every move.
“Suzie, is it?” I snarl.
“Hi, Audrey. It’s actually Sage.” She smiles.
“Oh, that’s right. Well, I just thought you would like to know that the guy you just slept with has gonorrhea. You may want to go get checked,” I say as I turn to walk away.
“Audrey, wait,” she says, so I turn back around. “Zander and I didn’t have sex. We messed around. You know he wants you, can’t you see that? I wouldn’t let that one get away if I were you. See you around, sweetie.”
She waves as she gets in the taxi. I stand there, embarrassed that my trick backfired on me. Why the hell did she fucking tell me that?
I decide to walk to Hailee’s place. I need the fresh air. My mind is all over the place. If I give into Zander, he’s going to hurt me. I know he will break my heart and I won’t let him do to me what his father did to my mother. There is no way in hell I’m going to be like that monster woman. Friends. That’s all we can be is friends…
***
Audrey
The game was amazing. We won, of course. Zander is one of the best players on the team. He’s going out with the guys from the baseball team, and I’m going with Hailee. We’re going to Zeb’s. Hailee has been wanting to have sex with Evan for months, but I think she ended up screwing Brody instead. They’re all nice looking. Evan has too much drama—Lila, who has a man, and Tatum, who also has a man. Poor guy. He’s singing tonight. I love hearing him sing.
As we enter Zeb’s, I see a sweet guy from one of my classes. He’s tried talking to me before, but I blew him off. Not tonight. I’m going to talk to him and hope that the guys tell Zander. I’ll give him a taste of his own medicine.
I walk to the bar and give the bartender my fake ID. He knows it’s fake, but he is good friends with the guys and serves me anyway. I turn around to see that Dale is right behind me. I take a sip of my beer.
“Oh, hey Dale, how are you?” I ask in a seductive tone. I push my chest out just a little so my girls are grabbing his attention.
“Good. You look great tonight. Would you like to dance with me?” He reaches for my hand. I take it.
“Thanks. Sure, why not?” I take another drink of my beer and sit the bottle on the bar.
“I figured you would be with Zander tonight after that big win.” He pulls me to the center of the dance floor. Hailee is standing at the bar, eyeing me. I just wink at her.
“Nope, he and I are nothing but friends.”
As we dance to the lyrics of “Goodbye” by Train, I see Zander staring in our direction. Wait, where the hell did he come from? He wasn’t supposed to be here tonight. His arms are crossed over his chest and he has on a black T-shirt. It’s so tight that it shows all of his muscles. I wrap my arms around Dale’s neck and I swear I see steam coming from Zander’s ears. I move one of my hands to Dale’s and push it down to my ass. At that point, I see Zander walking toward us. Just as he approaches us, I kiss Dale. The next thing I know, I’m pulled away from Dale and Zander is beating the crap out of him.
“What the fuck do you think you are doing, dick face? Get off of him, you big brute,” I yell.
“Why the hell was his hands all over you, Audrey?” His voice booms through my ears. “Go home now!”
“Fuck you. When did you become my boss? Leave him alone.” I reach down to help Dale up.
“Dude, what the fuck was that for? All we were doing was dancing. You need to control that fucking temper of yours,” Dale says to Zander as he wipes the blood from his mouth with the back of his hand, smearing the crimson everywhere with a look of disgust on his face.
“You need to stay away from Audrey, you hear me, punk? The next time you won’t be able to walk out of here.” He pushes Dale again and walks toward the bathroom.
“Oh no, you don’t,” I say, running after him. “Tell me what the fuck that was all about.” I slam my hand against his back.
“Are you fucking blind or just stupid? Can you not see that I want you?” He turns around so we’re nose to nose.
“Oh, well, it didn’t seem like you needed me when Sage was climbing off of your dick this morning.”
“I didn’t fuck her.” He places his hands on top of his head and then brushes them down his face. “She gave me a fucking blow job. The entire time I wished it were you. Oh, and by the way, she called me. Good call on saying I have an STD. See, you are jealous.”
“I’ve told you, I don’t want to be with you. How the hell are you going to make someone be with you if they don’t want to? We can’t keep doing this, Zander. I love you, I enjoy your company and snuggling with you, but I can’t be your girl. Can we please just move past this?” I ask as a tear runs down my cheek.
“Why are you crying? Look at me. Tell me you don’t want me. Go ahead…and I’ll leave you alone. We will strictly be friends if you tell me that you want us to be nothing more than friends,” he yells.
“No!” I throw my hands up in the air. “I cannot tell you that. I just fucking can’t. We can never be together, so just drop it. I’m leaving. I’ll see you at home. Please, just let me leave,” I whisper.
“Go ahead, run. That is what you do best, right? Every time I get close enough to you to open up, you run. You can’t run forever.”
“Be careful. I’ll see you at home.”
I run right into Evan. “Audrey, darling, what’s wrong?” he asks. “Did you calm the beast down?”
“He’s okay. I have to go. Can you give me a ride, if Lila’s okay with it?”
“Of course I will. She won’t mind. Come on, let’s go.” He wraps his arms around me, walks me out of the bar, and helps me into his car.
I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this. The man I love wants me and I keep pushing him away. I’m afraid I’m going to push him too far. Then I’ll lose him for good.
I sit in silence as Evan drives me home. I look down and realize I have either Dale or Zander’s blood all over my legs. I can’t believe he beat the shit out of him for dancing with me. Or maybe it was the kiss.
Evan walks me to my door. I go in and shower. I put on one of Zander’s T-shirts. The smell of him makes me feel safe. I feel like he’s near when I have his clothes on. I pull my hair up and make my way to the couch. There’s no way I’m going to be able to sleep tonight, so I text Ta, hoping she’s awake.
Me: Your BROTHER beat the shit out of my friend because I was dancing with him.
About ten minutes later, she texts back.
Ta: WTF? You two need to seriously fuck already. He loves you, you love him, quit denying it.
Me: I hate you
right now. :(
Ta: I love you…Now go to bed.
Me: Yes mom. <3
She doesn’t respond. I lay on the couch and stare at the ceiling, hoping Zander will just come home. I don’t know what I’m going to say to him, but I have to tell him how I feel.
Chapter Six
Zander
I can’t believe Audrey was kissing that son of a bitch. I wanted to rip his fucking head off. She has no clue what the hell she does to me. Every day, I wake up wanting her, needing her to kiss me and tell me how much she loves me, but she won’t. I know she has the same feelings. She just won’t open up and let me in. I can’t figure out why. This shit is getting ridiculous.
I walk out of the bathroom and back out into the bar after I’ve calmed down and see Brody sitting at a table. He tells me Evan took Audrey home. I get a drink and sit at the bar. Zeb walks toward me. You could see the anger pouring off of him. Great, just what the fuck I need right now, another pissed off person in my face.
“Hey, there will be no more of that here in my bar, you hear me? I know you want that girl, but you can’t go starting fights with everyone that looks at her. Meet me here tomorrow night. You can help unload the truck to cover the damage. Understood?”
“Yes, sir. I’m sorry.” I shake his hand and down my beer. “Brody, can you give me a ride?”
“Yeah, I was heading out anyway.”
When we leave the bar, I decide to stay with Evan and Brody. The drive home is quiet. Brody knows what Audrey does to me. I look at my phone to see if she has called or sent a text, but she hadn’t.
I follow Brody into their unit of the loft. Evan is sitting at the bar. He looks at me and bursts into laughter. “So, looks like dude got one swing into the upper lip, huh?” Evan smirks.
“Fuck you, Evan. I’m crashing here, if that’s okay. How is Audrey doing? I can’t be around her tonight. She’s giving me so many mixed signals. I’m so tired of it because I want her so goddamn bad. Can you all see that she wants me, that she is putting on a front? Or is it just me?”
“She’s fine, I walked her home. I can see it too. Give her time. She wants you, there is just something holding her back,” Evan says.
I try to lay on the couch and get comfortable, but I can’t. At around 2 am, I go home, knowing Audrey is most likely asleep by now.
I walk to our unit and see Audrey asleep on the couch. She is curled up in one of my NYU shirts. I pull the throw over her and kiss her forehead. She is so fucking beautiful, even when she’s sleeping. I start to walk away and I hear her moan.
“Zander, is that you? Where have you been? I was worried about you.”
“Yes, I was at Evan’s. Come on, I’ll put you in bed.”
“No, I can manage to get in bed by myself. Just go to bed.” She swats me away. I shake my head and get in the shower.
I hear a knock on the door. I don’t say anything. I know she’ll come in.
“Zander, I don’t know what’s going on, but this thing between us is going to hurt one of us, if not both.” She sits on the toilet. I get out of the shower, quickly wrap a towel around my waist, and face her.
“So what is it that you suggest we do? I want you, there is no denying that. I’ve been telling you for years. You’re the one that doesn’t want to be with me. Well, you keep saying that anyway.”
“I’m scared. I don’t know what to do. I just don’t think it will work.”
“I will never hurt you. Can you trust that I will make this work? Just give me a chance.” I feel like I’m begging, but hell, I will beg her until she says yes.
“I want you, I do. I’ve never had these feelings for anyone. Just you.” She stands and walks closer to me. “I need you, I do,” she whispers before crashing her lips to mine.
Chapter Seven
Audrey
It’s been a few weeks since the incident at the bar. Zander has been tiptoeing around me. We haven’t kissed since then. I swear he thinks I’m cray-cray. We haven’t been eating dinner together like we normally do. He seems to always be busy. I try and make like I don’t notice, but I do. I miss him so much. I worry about him when he isn’t here.
Tonight, he came home drunk. He came in to tell me good night, as he always does. He sits on the foot of my bed as I lie there, reading the latest romance book by my favorite author. I lay my Kindle on the night stand and look in his eyes. His mocha eyes and dark tan always makes me feel warm and fuzzy, inside and out, no matter where we are.
“Will you sleep in my room with me tonight?” he asks as he slides his boots off.
“Of course. I like when you snuggle me.” What the fuck, Audrey? Why would you say something so damn cheesy? “I mean, I like when we’re together.” Fuck me that sounds just as bad.
“I’ve had a long week and you always make things better. Give me five minutes to change and come in. Leave that damn book thing in here, though,” he says as he walks out of the room.
Gawd, I’m going to sleep in Zander’s bed. I’m glad the cleaning lady came today. She changed all the bed sheets. I know he had some whore here a few nights ago.
When I walk into his room, he is already lying in bed. I go to the opposite side he’s on and slide in next to him. I snuggle into his side. The things I dream of doing to him…His scent is amazing. It’s not like any cologne I’ve ever smelled. It’s just…Zander.
“Thank you, for always being here for me, Audrey. You’re a wonderful friend. I love you, sweetheart.” He kisses my forehead.
Umm, did Zander Kelley just say he loves me? Totally swooning right now.
“I’ll always be here for you. That’s what friends do, right? I love you too, cunt bag.” I want to say, ‘more than you will ever know,’ but I don’t. I keep my damn mouth closed. I have to keep pretending I don’t care.
As we lie there, wrapped in each other’s arms, I think about what a future with him would be like. I could get used to being in Zander’s arms for the rest of my life, but I keep hearing my birth mother’s words playing over and over in my mind.
Just as I turn to face him, he wraps his hand around my waist and his lips crash into mine. He parts my mouth with his tongue and explores my mouth with his tongue. It reminds me of the last kiss we shared, only this one is so much better. It’s intense and hot, so fucking hot.
I run my tongue over his and a small moan escapes my mouth. He knows what I want. He runs his hands up my thighs. When he reaches the waist of my PINK boy shorts, I lift my body just enough for him to slide them off. He places his warm hand on the inside of my thighs.
With every kiss, I want so much more of him. I take my hand out of his hair and run it down his chiseled chest. My fingers trace the lining of the perfect ‘V’ shape that leads to the place I’ve been wanting to see for the last couple years. I pull his shorts down as he kisses my neck. I look down and see his gorgeous body lying there. He’s fully erect. Thinking about the things I want to do to him makes me wet instantly.
He groans as I place my hand on his cock. I start rubbing him and I can feel his pre-cum between my fingertips. He is much larger than the guys I’ve been with. He runs his hands through my hair. His touch has me dripping wet.
I slide my body down his and take his length in my mouth. He tastes salty and sweet, even better than I imagined. I look up at him. His eyes are closed and his head is tilted back. The groans that escape his mouth are the sexiest groans I’ve ever heard.
As I rub my clit, I run my tongue from the base of his shaft to the tip. Just as I start sucking harder, he places his hands on either side of my head and pulls me up his body. There’s a look of hunger in his eyes. I place my finger on his lips and he licks it dry. I can see the smirk on his face as he rips my tank top off, pulls a nipple between his teeth, and groans. He looks at me, a big grin on his face.
“You’re fucking beautiful, Audrey. I’ve dreamed of seeing you naked for years. Now it’s my turn to explore your sexy body. I’m going to lick you in places you didn’t even kn
ow you had. Lie back, let me make you come.”
He opens my thighs with his large, calloused hands. I know I’m fucking soaked already. I haven’t had sex for months…well, other than those nights where I used Pinky, and he hasn’t been out of my nightstand in a few weeks. The heat of Zander’s breath gives me chills. He starts kissing my thighs and works his way up to my center.
He parts my lower lips with his tongue and his lips go straight to my clit. My back arches as his teeth graze over my clit. He places both hands under my ass and pushes his head into my pussy as far as he can. I’m coming so hard, all I can scream is, “Oh, fuck me.” I want to feel him in me so fucking bad.
“You want me to fuck you, Audrey?” I nod my head. “Tell me again what you want me to do,” he demands.
“I want you to fuck me. I want to feel you deep inside of me, Zander. Please, I need you so bad.”
“Are you on the pill?” he asks as he kisses my cheek.
“Yes, of course I am.” I tremble and look into his eyes.
“Good, because I’m going to fuck you. I don’t want anything to be between us. Once I finally feel your sweet pussy wrapped around my cock, I want to feel you and not a goddamn condom.”
I can feel a lump in my throat as I try to speak. Finally, I get the words out. “Did you use a condom with the other girls?” I ask as I look in his eyes. I’ve never had sex without one.
“Yes, always. You’re different, Audrey. You aren’t one of those random girls I hook up with. If you want me to use one, I will, but I really don’t fucking want to,” he mumbles as he starts kissing me. I can taste myself on his lips, and I have to admit, it turns me on even more.
