Marriage In Name Only

by Doreen Owens Malek

  “You come here a lot, Heath,” Ann said. “Just get whatever you want for both of us.”

  Heath ordered for them and then lifted a muffin from the basket on the table. “Have one of these, they’re good. You are hereby ordered to gain ten pounds in the next two months.”

  Ann groaned.

  “Come on, baby. You know I’m right. You don’t eat enough, you never did.”

  “It’s Christmas, Heath. Do we have to have the nutrition lecture now?”

  “You’re going to my doctor as soon as the holidays are over,” he said firmly.

  “Why?”

  “For a checkup.”

  “There’s nothing to check. I’m just thin.”

  “Too thin.”

  “That’s a matter of opinion. Anyway, I’ll gain weight when I’m pregnant.”

  His hand froze in the act of popping loose muffin crumbs into his mouth.

  “What’s the matter?” Ann said at the look on his face. “ We haven’t been doing anything to prevent it.”

  He said nothing.

  “Don’t you want to have children?” she said, alarmed at his reaction.

  “I didn’t think it would come up just yet,” he said carefully. “I assumed we’d have some time to ourselves for a while. After all, we’ve been apart so long.”

  “Of course, but can’t you imagine a little boy who looks just like you, with huge dark eyes and that glorious thick black hair?” Ann said dreamily.

  “And my father’s glorious heritage of alcoholism?” Heath said flatly.

  “Nobody’s family is perfect, Heath. Look at mine.”

  “Your father wasn’t a stumbling drunk.”

  “He was an unfeeling autocrat. Is that so much better?”

  “In my eyes, yes. Your old man wasn’t an ongoing embarrassment.”

  “He was a dictator who almost ruined my life! Look what happened to us because of his interference.”

  Heath sighed heavily and leaned across the table to touch her cheek. “Princess, let’s not argue about this now, not tonight of all nights. Look, here’s our salad. I’m going to watch and make sure you eat all of it.”

  “Yes, sir.” Ann let the subject drop but resolved to bring it up again another time. They finished the leisurely meal talking about other things, and by the time they drove home Ann was full, tired and ready for bed.

  Heath locked the front door behind them and said, “This is the first Christmas I haven’t been alone in a longtime.”

  “I find that hard to believe.”

  “Well, I was usually at parties, which on holidays is often worse than being alone.” He put his hand on the small of her back and pushed her along toward the bedroom.

  “I ate too much,” Ann said as they crossed the threshold. “I can hardly walk.”

  “You ate like a normal human being, and if you can do it once you can do it again. I’ll make sure you do.” He stood behind her and unzipped her dress, letting it slip to the floor. He lifted her hair off her neck and kissed her nape lingeringly, then unhooked her bra and dropped that on top of the dress. Ann turned in his arms and he picked her up, carrying her toward the bed.

  Ann fell back on the pillows, her arms above her head. He dropped onto the bed with her, covering her slight body with his muscular one as he pulled off her briefs.

  Ann wound herself around him, sighing. “I dreamed of this so many times, spent years wondering what it would be like, thinking about what I had lost forever. And now I’ve found it again.”

  Heath stood to remove his clothes, and Ann watched as the body she had desired since her adolescence was revealed, sculpted like an artist’s clay figure, totally male. She reached out eagerly and he rejoined her, pulling her to him and running his hands down the satiny curve of her spine. Her fingers sank into his shoulder blades as he turned and set her back on the bed, kissing her everywhere he could reach as her eyes closed luxuriously. Then he positioned her body, encircling her waist with his arm and easing her under him.

  “I love you,” he said as he entered her.

  “I love you, too,” Ann whispered.

  And that was all they needed to say.

  * * * *

  On Christmas night, Heath and Ann were sitting in the living room, relaxing in front of a fire that was more ceremonial than necessary, when the doorbell rang. Heath, who was wearing the cashmere sweater Ann gave him for Christmas, looked at Ann inquiringly.

  “Are you expecting anybody?” Ann asked.

  Heath shrugged.

  Ann slipped out of Heath’s embrace, put down her glass of eggnog and went to answer the door. Her brother Tim was standing on the other side of it, a large wrapped box under one arm.

  “Timmy!” Ann shrieked, and threw her arms around him, causing him to rock back and drop the overnight bag he was carrying in his free hand.

  “Merry Christmas,” Tim said, and hugged her.

  Heath hovered in the background, all smiles.

  “What are you doing here?” Ann asked, releasing him and leading him into the house. “I thought you were going to stay up in Massachusetts.”

  “Heath got me a seat on a plane today. After my latest trouble, he thought it would be best for me to come here and let you see for yourself that I was all right.” Tim stepped around his sister and reached his hand out to Heath, who shook it.

  “Thanks, man,” Tim said.

  “De nada,” Heath replied.

  “No. I mean, really, thanks for everything. I know that I’ve said it a hundred times on the phone but you certainly deserve to hear it once again.”

  Ann stood looking from one man to the other, her eyes huge and sparkling.

  “Come on, Tim, it’s a holiday. Let’s go inside and talk about something positive before your sister gets all weepy. Do you want a drink?” Heath said.

  Tim shook his head ruefully. “Nah, booze tends to make me think I can win at the crap tables again.”

  “Well, there are no crap tables here. How about some eggnog? Nothing in it but lots of calories. We’ve been trying to fatten your sister up.”

  “That sounds like a good idea. Eggnog is fine.”

  They went back to the living room and indulged in meaningless chitchat for about fifteen minutes before Heath rose and said, “I’ve still got a few presents to wrap and I’m sure you two would like to be alone for a while.”

  Ann shot him a grateful glance and then turned back to her brother, who was watching her closely.

  “He doesn’t have any presents to wrap, does he?” Tim said knowingly.

  “I don’t think so.”

  “Neither do I. You look very happy,” he said.

  “I am.”

  “That’s some great guy you’ve got there.”

  “I know.”

  “I was so humiliated about all of this that I didn’t even want to talk to him on the phone that first time. But he never acted judgmental about my problems, he just addressed what had to be done. Is he always like that?”

  “Not always,” Ann said dryly.

  Tim scratched the back of his neck, looking so much like their father for a moment that her heart skipped a beat. Tim had Henry Talbot’s patrician features and rangy build and just about all of his gestures, too.

  “Heath must really be crazy about you,” Tim said.

  Ann smiled.

  “I mean, I know he didn’t jump into this feet-first and head up the rescue team just for me.”

  Ann nodded.

  “Ironic, isn’t it? Heath is bailing out the company, and the son, of the man who detested him. Somewhere in the wings the fates are laughing.”

  “None of it seems very funny to me,” Ann replied, sighing. “How are you doing, anyway?”

  Tim smiled ruefully. “One day at a time, as they say. I was doing pretty well, actually, until that bench warrant business. The thought of going back to jail really had me spooked.”

  “I’m sorry about that, Tim. There was some legal mixup, it never should
have happened—”

  Tim held up his hand to stop her. “Don’t apologize to me, Annie. Everything bad that has happened in my life is my fault. That’s one of the things you learn in recovery—to take responsibility for your own actions. Sure, our dear daddy was a bastard and he let me know every minute of my life that I was a bitter disappointment to him. But he’s dead now, I’m alive, and I’ve got to clean up my mess. With the help of your husband, of course. And you.”

  Ann leaned forward to pour him a glass of eggnog from the cut glass decanter on the table. “Timmy, why did you do it?” Ann said, handing her brother the drink. “I’ve never asked you but I’ve always wondered.”

  “The gambling?”

  “Yes.”

  He sighed. “I guess you’ve got a right to know if anyone does. The answer is, I don’t fully understand it myself, not yet, anyway. It has something to do with the power I felt when I won, the power over my life that was so lacking when Dad was alive. I got hooked on that when I was just a kid.”

  Ann nodded.

  “The problem is you don’t always win, but you keep going back to get that kick, convinced that sooner or later it will happen again,” Tim went on. “And in the meantime, you’re losing. And I lost big. But part of the illness is, you’re always convinced that you will make that big score that will wipe out the loans and the debts and let you start over with a clean slate. And there’s plenty of scumbags around to feed that illusion while they’re plying you with perks and taking your money. It sucks you in, believe me.”

  “You should have talked to me about it, Tim. You should have talked to somebody.”

  He closed his eyes. “I know that now.” He opened them. “But when you’re in that whirlpool you really think you can handle it, that the next big win will be your last.”

  “Why?”

  “Because it’s an addiction, Annie. Why does a heroin addict keep sticking needles in his arms when his veins are collapsing and his skin is a mass of scabs and his last meal was a can of orange soda? Why does an alcoholic keep drinking when he’s bloated from liver failure and yellow with jaundice and can’t remember what he’s done for hours and days at time? It isn’t logical behavior, it’s an illness.”

  Ann put her hand over his. “I’m sorry I asked you about it,” she said quietly. “Anyway that isn’t the point now, the point is to get you well.”

  He bit his lip, not looking at her. “I’ll pay you back for what you’ve done for me, both of you. If I have to work at it for the rest of my life I promise I’ll pay you back.”

  Ann squeezed his fingers. “Why don’t we just change the subject, okay? It’s Christmas, let’s have some Christmas cheer. Heath and I were just going to have a light supper. You’ll join us, okay?”

  He looked up. “Okay.”

  “And stay the night?”

  He nodded.

  “When can I unwrap that huge box and see what you brought me?” Ann asked.

  He laughed. “After dinner.”

  Ann got up to go into the kitchen and said, “Come on with me. You can help.”

  Her brother followed her out of the room.

  Chapter 10

  So Tim won’t have to go to trial at all?” Ann asked, watching Heath’s face.

  “No. He’s pleading guilty to a lesser charge of embezzlement and mishandling of company funds.”

  “What will he get for that?”

  “Probably a suspended sentence in exchange for continuing with his twelve-step program and community service. And he’ll have to pay the money back, of course, but I’ll do that initially and then we can work out a payment schedule for him to reimburse me.”

  Ann flung herself on Heath, knocking him off- balance and sending him into the bedroom wall.

  “Hey, hey, take it easy,” he said, laughing and catching her in his arms. “It isn’t over quite yet, these legal procedures always go on forever, you know that. But things are definitely looking up for your brother.”

  “I don’t know how to thank you.”

  “I’m sure we can think of something,” he replied, bending her backward and kissing her neck. “Now, what time is your appointment with Dr. Langley?”

  “Heath, I am going, don’t worry about it.”

  “You’ve been saying that for two months. We discussed this at Christmas and it’s now February. You’re half finished with your book, you’ve done an outline projecting it into a series and you’ve redecorated the den. You’ve found time for all of these things but not for the ten-minute drive to Langley’s office. I’m beginning to wonder what’s going on here.”

  “My appointment is for eleven, and after that I’m having lunch with Amy at La Crepe. Okay?”

  “Okay, Princess,” he said, and released her reluctantly. “I’m going to be at the Big Palm office all day. You can reach me there if you need me.”

  “I always need you,” she said.

  He smiled as he picked up his jacket and slipped into it. “The feeling is mutual,” he said.

  “Are you sure you don’t have time for breakfast?” Ann asked, brushing her hair.

  “Nah, I’m late already. But make sure you eat— I’m going to check with Daniela when I come home. And remember we’re having dinner with the Jensens tonight.”

  “I remember.”

  He kissed her cheek and went out into the hall as Ann resumed her toilette.

  * * * *

  Dr. Langley proved to be a cheerful general practitioner with wire-rimmed glasses and an intense curiosity about the woman who had married Heath Bodine.

  “So how did you two meet?” Langely asked as he took Ann’s blood pressure.

  “Actually, we knew each other years ago when we were kids on Lime Island,” Ann said.

  “Kind of lost touch, huh?” Langley said, making a notation in her file.

  You could say that, Ann thought dryly as she nodded.

  “I never thought Heath would get married,” Langley said. “Since I’ve known him, five years I guess, he’s lived for his business, didn’t seem to have much time for emotional involvements.”

  “I guess the time comes sooner or later for everybody,” Ann said lightly.

  “So you knew him before he made his money,” Langley said, feeling the glands at the sides of her throat.

  “Yes.”

  “What was he like then?”

  “Intense, quiet, very good with machinery.”

  “Doesn’t sound like he’s changed much,” Langely said, laughing as he inserted his stethoscope into his ears. He listened to her chest and back and then removed the instrument, stepping back and saying, “So, what are you doing here?”

  “Heath insisted that I come. He thinks I have iron- poor blood or something.”

  “Have you been tired?”

  “A little.”

  “We’ll run a blood test for anemia. Any episodes of dizziness, fainting?”

  “Vertigo once or twice.”

  “Aha. So there’s more here than meets the eye.”

  “I haven’t been passing out, doctor, just a little room spinning, unsteadiness.”

  “Well, you’re slightly underweight and your blood pressure is low, that might account for it. Any trouble with your periods?”

  Ann hesitated.

  “Well?” he said, watching her.

  “They’ve been irregular. I’ve only had two in the last four months and they’ve been scanty.”

  Langley bit his lip. “Any nausea, bloating?”

  Ann looked at him.

  He nodded. “I’ll give you a referral slip to an OB/ GYN right here in the building. I can’t find a thing wrong with you but you could be pregnant.”

  Ann gasped. “But I’ve had two periods!”

  He shrugged.“Some people don’t stop all at once, like turning off a faucet. I could run a pregnancy test here but you might as well get checked out by a specialist, you’ll need one anyway if you are pregnant. Hastings is good, she’s very thorough.” He pulled a p
ad out of his jacket pocket and scribbled on a slip. He ripped off the top sheet and handed it to her.

  Ann stared at it, stunned.

  “Why do you seem so surprised?” Langley asked. “The possibility hadn’t occurred to you?”

  “I thought as long as I was bleeding I couldn’t be pregnant. It seemed logical that the excitement and tension of getting married, moving back to Florida, other personal problems, could have thrown off my cycle,” Ann replied. “My brother has been in some legal trouble and it’s been pretty stressful.”

  “I could be wrong. If you don’t want to wait for your appointment with Hastings, take a home pregnancy test. They’re quite accurate.”

  Ann nodded.

  “How do you think Heath will react to the news if you are pregnant?” Langley asked.

  “I hope he’ll be happy,” Ann said softly.

  “Of course he’ll be happy. With a beauty like you, he will make gorgeous babies.”

  “Doctor, just in case you talk to him don’t say anything about this until I tell him, okay? I want it to be a surprise.”

  “Sure, sure, I understand. But get in to see Hastings as soon as possible, okay? Your symptoms could mean other things—adhesions, endometriosis. You should be checked. Don’t you have a regular gynecologist?”

  “In New York.”

  “Go back to that doctor then if you feel more comfortable. But you’ll need somebody local if you plan to have the baby here, to oversee the pregnancy. Just don’t neglect this, okay?”

  “All right.”

  Ann left the doctor’s office with mixed feelings of elation and nervousness. She was certainly thrilled, but she couldn’t forget Heath’s reaction when she’d brought up the subject of having children on Christmas Eve.

  Would he feel differently now if he knew the possibility had become reality? As she drove to the restaurant to meet Amy, she kept mulling it over in her mind, considering alternatives, trying to decide what to do.

  On the way there she bought a home pregnancy test at the Lime Pharmacy.

  She would make sure of what was happening before she said anything to Heath.

  * * * *

  Amy was waiting outside the restaurant when Ann pulled up in her car. Amy waved enthusiastically as Ann approached, then hugged her friend as they walked into the restaurant.