by Tracy Gray
She laughed out loud.
“What’s with all the profanity? Weren’t you the good twin?” I continued.
“Things change after, what? Five years? You would expect that, right? You would expect things to change?”
“I’m definitely hoping things have changed after three years. I’m hoping that Reign has forgiven me.”
“She hasn’t.”
“Get her to tell it to me herself.”
She sighed heavily. “X, you know I love you. You’re fam and all that, but my loyalty is with my twin. If she says that we don’t fuck with you, then we don’t fuck with you. As much as I would like to help you out, put in a good word and whatnot, I can’t do it. You need to try to run this bullshit through Mecca. Maybe she can convince Reign to hear you out. Good luck.” She sang, and ended the call.
Mecca was Reign’s cousin, and my older brother, Busy’s girl. I held the phone in my hand for exactly three seconds, before I scrolled through my contacts looking for Mecca’s phone number.
I wasn’t sure what kind of witchery Mecca was able to work, but after 5 days of radio silence, my phone rang with a number I didn’t recognize. As soon as I saw the 773 area code, I knew Reign would be on the other end of the call.
“Please hold the line for Ms. Champion.” A smooth, professional voice told me after I said hello. I knew it belonged to her best friend, and administrative assistant, Trinity Wells, but Trinity sounded way more professional than I knew she actually was.
I was so in my own head, that I almost missed Reign come on the line. It was the change in the energy that alerted me. I felt it. Felt her. Felt the connection that we used to share.
“Xavier, let me start by saying this - I wanna be professional and keep everything on the level, but you haven’t been professional yourself. What? With going through every member of my family you could think of, until you conned Mecca into convincing me to talk to you. So, what’s up? What do you need? I’m not coming to Portland, Oregon to decorate your place. I thought I made that clear to your rude ass assistant.”
Her voice. It still sounded the same. It still had the power to make every system in my body pump the brakes, and slow down. My circular system. Respiratory system. Nervous system. Muscular system. It still brought me a sense of peace, even when she was trying to be firm. Why did I ever let her go? I wondered, the same way I had wondered so many times since I let her slip through my fingers.
“Long may she Reign...”
She cut me off. “Do not call me that! Nigga, are you serious?” It was obvious that professional Reign had left the building. “You don’t get to call me that. You don’t get to leave me, break my heart, destroy my entire life and bounce back into it twelve years later, talking about no damn “Long may she Reign.” Get off my phone, Xavier.”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” I said quickly, before she could hang up on me. “You’re right. My bad. I apologize. Your voice. I haven’t heard it in so long that it caught me off guard. It took me back.”
“Well, come forward, dude, because ain’t no going back. Again, how may I help you? What do you need? What do you want?”
“What can I say to get you to consider working on my project? I saw you and River in Chicago Magazine. I have a place that really needs...something.”
She took a deep breath, and I could envision her pinching the bridge of her nose. “I’m not the designer for you.”
“You know me, know…”
“Used to know you.” She corrected. “I have no idea who you are now. Haven’t known you in three years. Truth be told I can’t say that I ever really knew you.”
Even though I knew she was purposely trying to hurt me, her comment still stung. “You know me, Reign. You’ve always known me. And I know you and River would get my entire aesthetic.”
“And nobody else, in all of these 50 states besides me and River can decorate your place with your personal aesthetic? Impossible. If you’re willing, I’ll have my assistant put together a list of referrals for you, since your assistant seems pretty incompetent.”
I chuckled. “Why you keep bad-mouthing my assistant like that? She really fucked up with you, huh?”
“I guess her and her employer have that in common.”
“Uhm, I walked right into that one.”
“You did, but it’s true.”
“I know things got fucked up with us, Reign. One minute we were together, the next we weren’t. I don’t even know what I was doing.”
“Whatever. I’m not trying to talk about that.”
“I’m hoping we can move past that and reopen a dialogue at some point. I’ve never had a friend like you, Reign, and on my momma, I miss my friend.”
“Uhm, that is not likely.”
I sighed heavily. “For real, though, Reign?”
“For real.” She said, and ended the call.
I slid the phone into the pocket of my jeans.
“You ready, X?” My security guy, Easy asked.
“Yeah.” I nodded. It was too late to turn back now. I boarded the private jet that was going to fly me into my past, and my future simultaneously.
Reign
2
I couldn’t shut off my brain, no matter how hard I tried. It was a determined little sucker. Determined to remember things that my heart and the essence of what made me Reign Christina Champion, wanted to forget. Things like days filled with laughter, loyalty, dedication, and a love so deep that most adults couldn’t bring themselves to even acknowledge it - preferring to pretend that what we had, what Xavier and I had was some intense form of puppy love.
And nights filled with the exploration of each other, reverence of each other and the physical expression of what we felt in our hearts for each other. We were young, and we probably shouldn’t have been having as much sex as we were having, but we had no idea how to contain the feelings we had for each other. Words weren’t enough, touching wasn’t enough. The only time I felt like myself was when my body was intertwined with his. I walked around in a constant state of bliss knowing that I was Xavier’s and he was mine. Until he wasn’t.
What I felt my brain should have been concentrating on was the stuff that came after the fairytale. The days filled with heartache, melancholia, gloom and sadness; nights filled with tears, depression, loneliness and gut-wrenching pain.
It didn’t help that I kept playing that song - that I had it on repeat. Cam’ron’s, Daydreaming. I shouldn’t even know that song, because I was only seven when it came out, but my cousin Joya Bingham-Payne was 17, and Cam’ron’s “Come Home with Me” album was all she played in her car. Because Joya was my idol, I spent a lot of time in her car. Pretty sure she was most partial to the song “Oh Boy,” but in my seven year old world, “Daydreaming” was where it was at. I’d bet Cam’ron had no idea that the song with it’s Bonnie & Clyde theme was relationship goals for seven year old Reign.
My stereo was still bumping when I pulled up in front of my great aunt’s house. Auntie Bo was my grandfather’s eldest sister - the matriarch of our family. Her husband died early on in their marriage, before they were able to have children of their own, but my great aunt had played a significant role in my life and in the lives of my sister and first cousins.
I killed the engine, grabbing my purse from the passenger’s seat before exiting my ride with a sigh of relief. Joya’s BMW and Mecca’s Audi were parked in front of my Nissan Rogue. My cousin Kyndall’s Mazda was parked behind it. At least I could bounce my situation off them and hopefully get some insight or advice. I had a little more pep in my step as I bounded up the stairs of Auntie Bo’s house.
She opened the door for me as soon as my foot touched the landing, not even giving me a chance to press the doorbell. A big, bright smile graced her pretty face.
“I knew that was my Reign bow when I heard that bass beating in front of my house.” She pulled me into a hug that was loving and warm, then placed a soft kiss on my cheek. “Get on in here and spill the tea. I k
now you’ve got some to spill.”
I chuckled. “What you know about spilling tea, Auntie Bo?”
“I have 20 great nieces and nephews, I know all kinds of stuff. Put your bag down and come in the kitchen, Sweetie. We’re about to start wrapping up these petit fours.”
Every year my daddy’s mega-church, Works of Faith held a huge Back-to-School Bash for the neighborhood, and every year my cousin Kyndall and Auntie Bo came up with some over-the-top, uber delicious treat for the attendees. Kyndall owned K Sweet Bakery on the Near North side of the city, so she was the obvious choice to help Auntie Bo pull off the commitment, but usually a few of the other cousins got roped into helping. Apparently this time around, it was Joya and Mecca.
“Reign bow.” Mecca crooned as soon as I stepped into the spacious kitchen.
I put on a fake mad face. “Don’t Reign bow me, Mecca Noelle Goode. How’re you gone guilt me into calling Xavier Mayhew when you know how I feel about him?”
“I knew you had some tea to spill.” Auntie Bo said as she loaded colorful petit fours into what looked like Tupperware containers.
I walked around the island, and gave my cousin Kyndall a quick hug. “Hey Kyn.”
“Hi Reign bow. You talked to Xavier Mayhew?”
I folded my arms across my chest, and poked out my bottom lip. “In protest.” I made my way over to where Joya’s newest baby, Ryder was sitting contentedly in his baby carrier. I unbuckled him, lifted him into my arms, and kissed his juicy cheek repeatedly. “Oooh, he smells so good, Joy.”
“Come see me after he drops a deuce in that diaper, see if you think he smells so good then.” She told me.
“I’m sorry I sold you out to Xavier.” Mecca handed me a pink petit four. “When he called me, he just sounded so pitiful. I had him, and Busy asking me to talk to you. I could’ve resisted Xavier’s old, big headed self, but you know I can’t resist Busy.” Her eyes glazed over, giving her a dreamy expression when she spoke about her man, Xavier’s oldest brother, Maddox “Busy” Mayhew.
“You’re in love. I get it. I just wish Xavier wasn’t trying to come back on the scene.” I huffed.
“Why is he trying to come back on the scene?” Kyndall asked, securing the lid on a container.
“He claims that he wants River and me to design his place...in Portland.”
“Portland, Oregon?” Kyndall asked in disbelief. “He wants you to design his place in Portland, Oregon?”
“Yep.”
“Uhm, X thinks he’s slick.” Joya commented.
“He just wants you in Portland, Oregon...with him, and having you work on his place is the best way to do it.” Auntie Bo schooled.
Mecca’s eyes twinkled with mischief when she spoke to our aunt. “Did Miss Vera come to you in a dream and tell you that?”
Miss Vera was Xavier’s grandmother. After raising him from the time he was three years old, she had passed a year earlier. And everybody knew that Auntie Bo regularly visited with the deceased while she slept. Auntie Bo claimed that friends and loved ones who had passed on would reveal things to her in her dreams.
“What does she need Miss Vera to tell her stuff for, when she has you, Mecca?” Kyndall asked.
Mecca’s eyes grew large and she clutched at her neck for imaginary pearls. “You think I tell Auntie Bo y’all’s business?”
“We know you do.” Kyndall was matter-of-fact.
“Auntie Bo, does Mecca tell you our business?” I asked, like I was still the little cousin who stayed underfoot.
Auntie Bo laughed heartily. “I just love having you girls in my life. You keep me young, making me laugh like this. Now, get off of my Pudding, cuz all of you all have told me one another’s business over the years. I never reveal my sources, but I did know that Joya was getting beaten up by the fool she was dating from the NBA, and that Indigo was down at Notre Dame failing all of her classes chasing behind that fool, Jamaal, among other little secrets you thought you were keeping from me. Each and every one of you has told me something about another one too many times for me to count. But I didn’t need to hear about this Xavier thing from Vera, or from Mecca. I’ve been around the block a few times, I know what’s what. That boy never stopped loving you, Reign bow.”
I didn’t respond to my aunt, but the thought running through my head was, “Blah. Blah. Blah.”
“He did tell Brandon that he was tired of THOT-ting all over the world, and that he was ready to settle down with you.” Mecca added.
Again, I didn’t respond. As much as I wished it wasn’t, talking about Xavier was still a sore subject with me. Admitting that a part of me still loved him, still...longed for him was difficult. I didn’t want to be stupid for him. I didn’t want to still be pining for him three years after the fact.
“He’s ready to settle down with Reign?” Kyndall repeated.
“Yep.” That was Mecca.
With a shrug of her shoulders, Joya chimed in. “Sometimes, death brings recklessness and acting out, but sometimes it brings clarity.”
“Preach!” Mecca cosigned.
Death bringing recklessness and acting out was how Mecca ended up with Maddox, and caused Joya and her husband, Nasir to break up while they were dating.
“Xavier’s probably gotten some clarity.” Joya surmised.
“Well, if his Instagram is any indication, he’s a changed man. I haven’t seen any half-naked women on there in a minute.” Kyndall said, before she explained, “one of my employees went to high school with him, and she has a major crush. So, she constantly stalks his page. She’s always running around the store with her phone, showing us something on his social media. He does a lot of charity work, and a lot of damn...I mean, dang-on thirst trapping.”
“When did you all’s mouths get so bad?” Auntie Bo asked, like she was honestly perturbed. Like we hadn’t been cursing for years. I guess we had gotten too lax about it.
“I’m sorry, Auntie Bo.” Kyndall pulled her into a side hug. “Anyway, he’s the thirst-trap king. If I have to see one more picture of your boy wearing only variously colored jogging pants, I’m gonna scream. He does have a nice body, though, little cous. All muscular and tatted up. You sure you can’t find it in your heart to forgive him?”
They all laughed.
“Are you curious?” Mecca questioned. “I mean, do you wonder if there’s still something there?”
I rolled that thought over in my mind.
“Uh uhm. She doesn’t wonder.” Auntie Bo chided. “She knows. She knows that if she agrees to see that boy, she’s gonna be putty in his big football catching hands. Wondering about whether or not the passion and the feelings are still there isn’t my Reign bow’s problem.”
“Auntie Bo.” I said quietly, before she could continue.
She nodded slightly, and closed her mouth.
“Heartbreak is a hard thing to shake.” Joya made her way over to the sink and turned on the faucet. They were all done and wrapping things up.
I hugged baby Ryder closer to my chest, basking in his innate sweetness.
Kyndall finished loading filled containers into large shopping bags bearing her company’s name and logo. “I think you should consider working with him, Reign. Bullcrap walks, money talks. If he’s paying, I would be playing.”
My head shot up, from where I was looking down and cooing at Ryder. “You think I should play myself for the money?” The shock I felt had to show on my face.
Kyndall didn’t back down. “Feelings aside, Boo. Having a design team, especially one like River Reign Exclusive come in and do your spot is a luxury. Everybody can’t afford it, but X can. Let him spend that dough, girl. And if you get to the consult and his face and/or presence makes you sick to your stomach, charge his butt double. If seeing him makes your heart ache, fire him as a client, but keep the deposit. Win-win.”
“That’s never gonna happen.” I muttered to Ryder, between coos and babytalk.
“I always thought y’all were the most relationsh
ip goals young couple ever.” Joya said thoughtfully. “I mean, girl, y’all were ten toes down for each other. You used to be breaking all of your daddy’s rules for him. Missing curfew. Disappearing. Lying.”
I tried to block out her words, concentrating instead on the feel and smell of the precious baby in my arms. I didn’t need any reminders. I knew the things I had done with and for Xavier, all in the name of love.
“And when your daddy used to march you into church, and sit you on the front row, so he could watch you, Xavier used to be right there with you. On that front row.”
They all laughed, again.
“My grandmother swore I was gonna end up pregnant.” I mumbled.
“Not on my watch.” Kyndall said.
“Mine, either.” Auntie Bo cosigned.
“That’s why I say you two were relationship goals.” Joya continued. “You were so young, but you all were so dedicated to each other and loyal. There was no way you were gonna get pregnant, Reign. You valued Xavier’s desire to go to the NFL too much to cause him to risk it. And he wasn’t gonna be reckless with your future, because he wanted to see you soar and succeed.”
“I appreciate you all contributing to the delinquency of a minor, by taking me to get birth control pills without my parents’ knowledge.” I joked, shaking my head at the memory.
“We just wanted you safe and...baby-less.” Kyndall told me.
Joy walked over to me and gave her son a caress on the back, as he lay in my arms. “Personally, I was impressed. I thought it was super responsible of you to reach out and tell me that you needed help.”
I gave her a small smile that was mostly fake, and placed her youngest son in her arms. Then I turned on my heel and made my way to the powder room. Closing the door with a firm click, I turned on the water full blast and leaned against the sink. I was so tired of hurting over somebody who wasn’t hurting over me. Three years later, and the pain could still almost bring me to tears. How long did it take for a heart to heal?
