Gabriel

by Melissa Meintjes

  Then Joanna smiled and said “Thank you,”

  Then Miguel said, “Perhaps, one person is not enough to tell. Do you tell anyone else, besides your mother?”

  Then Joanna responded, “I did not even tell my mother, because I could not get hold of her, but I will tomorrow.” Then Miguel grew excited with happiness as he placed the ice cream in to two little bowls.

  While Miguel and Joanna watched a movie that she had rented, Miguel felt happy with the anticipation that she would never leave. He then excused himself to go to the bathroom, and while she watched the television, he snuck in to his bedroom grabbed handcuffs, and a gun. He then came out pointing the gun at her, and ordered her to go to the bathroom and handcuff herself to the railing in the bath tub. He then through the handcuffs at her.

  She, frightened, stood up, and asked “why?”

  Then he responded “because you are mine.” Then he said don’t think I will be nice and then he shot next to her through a silencer.

  She jumped a little and began to walk to the bathroom, where she handcuffed herself to the handicap railing in the bathtub.

  Then he asked for her cell phone, and she responded “it is in my purse on the couch.” Then he went to his bedroom and put the gun away.

  He then returned to the bathroom, and told her “I am going to make you feel comfortable, but I have to create a cage.

  So she asked “how long will that take?”

  Then he responded “not long.” He then walked out as she attempted to fall asleep leaning her head against her arm in the bath tub.

  Chapter 21

  Celia felt very energetic because of her savings account which seemed to say that she could be trusted, and that she was not part of the lowest level of humanity the way some of her employers had made her feel through minimum wage.

  At night she would often feel aroused by the new and exotic experiences she had experienced in the Dungeon. She would imagine the masked man, spanking her, and loving her; inspecting her nude body. As a result she would often feel an urge to become naked. She felt an urge to sleep naked, eat naked, wash her dishes naked, dry them naked, watch television naked, clean her home naked, and browse the internet naked. Nude, she would often sit in front of her computer and watch the other women of the Dungeon and then herself perform crude sexual acts of which society would not approve of. It often aroused her to watch the other women, and she would often masturbate about the other women even though she had not been predominantly homosexual. The shared nudity of the women with hers made her feel a shared vulnerability and sexuality, which she anticipated further exploring through pornography. As she contemplated her nude dancing and the fact that anyone and everyone could see her nude; she began to feel aroused often and more comfortable nude than dressed, and therefore did everything nude.

  Nudity began to represent a sense of feeling at peace with the universe, god, and herself. She felt that other people lived lies. Their clothes hid the real them and she felt that behind their façade of fabric they had forgotten who they really were; animals, who needed nurturing, and others in a world where one could not survive alone. She felt her humanity, her sexuality, and her uniqueness as a sexual woman, through her nudity. She thought about how faces identify people, and how bodies do to. How each and every human had their own unique shape and how beautiful the world would be if people celebrated them more. In addition to finding her face very beautiful she had always found her body to represent perfection, but as she sat nude on her couch she realized it had always been unique, representing a shape she loved more than anything. Instead of living behind a veil of shame, in her nudity she learned to love herself in a way she had never anticipated. She learned to see and appreciate her knees, her feet, her legs, for their functions, as well as for what they represented. They represented her. Her buttocks, her breasts, and her arms exposed, reminded her of her true purpose in life; a purpose of nurturing and caring. She felt identified instead of hidden. Identified as a women with a purpose. A much truer purpose than typing, drinking coffee, or reading a book. A purpose of fulfilling nature’s design, of procreation, sexuality, and love. So as she lay in bed, nude, she felt her purpose course through her, like she had never felt before, and felt a desperate urge for the acceptance of a man. She then imagined the masked man unveiling his beauty and saving her by marrying her and making her his wife. While she would have previously cared about her status as a wife, in her nudity, she really only cared about completing her biological needs and therefore felt like an embodiment of love instead of a desire for status.

  She wished she could get the number of the masked man, and therefore, thought about asking her boss for it. Then she thought about the possibility that the masked man might be her boss, and as she contemplated him sticking a dildo in to her, she started feeling aroused. She decided to masturbate, and then decided during her masturbation to not like her boss, for she had found him too skinny. She had always appreciated slightly muscular men. She remembered the frame of the masked man and decided he had not been her boss. Instead, she imagined the man of her dreams, and decided to try and gather courage to find out his true identity. As she contemplated finding out, she imagined an ugly man potentially, and therefore, felt scared of destroying her fantasy. She felt that living in a fantasy, was better than a bad reality, and that she would one day strive to find out, when she had collected enough money to run if she felt she had to. She believed she might run, as a result of the shame of being rejected as a lover.

  In her apartment, sitting nude on the couch, she watched different women dressed in a variety of clothes and contemplated the oddity of it. The women looked odd to her. She saw them differently. Instead of seeing women trying to be attractive and looking perfect, she saw women dressed in a veil of shame and self-hate, detached from everything sacred and sexual. She realized she felt happy to be herself instead of them, for she spent a lot of time nude. She thought about the irony of how they would judge her, and wondered how they would feel if they knew how she judged them. She judged them as oddities, instead of humans. To her they seemed like balls of shame covered up in falsities. As she analyzed them, the label “whore” began to mean nothing, and she began to feel happier with herself, instead of feeling like the lowest level of society.

  Celia then went to bed, and imagined herself roped up in different positions, and as she wondered what position they would put her in next, she began to feel a sense of pride over her nudity encased in ropes as a statue, and began to imagine different positions of beauty and grace. The love she felt for her nude body, made every position beautiful and therefore sultry like a form of art instead of pornography. She felt proud, for her life had become a celebration of art and herself instead of a cavern of self-hate and denial like the lives of the majority of other people. She had not written any books, nor furthered her high school education through college, and therefore many would have considered her ordinary; but through her nudity and the beauty of her curves she realized that she was anything but ordinary for she had conquered the greatest treasure and secret in life, the ability to love oneself infinitely, and the ability to love others the way nature had intended.

  As she lay in bed, Celia remembered her buttocks being rubbed and inspected by the nurse, and began to feel aroused. She imagined the thermometer penetrating her and imagined how the world saw her nude. Then she imagined all the people she had ever known seeing her nude, and tied up. She suddenly felt her pride melt under the sternness of their judgments and ridicule. She then calmed herself down by telling herself that whoever watched her wanted to and therefore had been her customer. She suddenly felt a new love for her customers soar through her, and began to covet the life of a prostitute. As she felt the world gaze her, she imagined fornicating with various men, whoever wanted her. She imagined them paying her because they were her customers, and she imagined feeling fulfilled by their semen. As the desire for various men grew inside her, she became more excited, and eventually rubbed herself t
o an orgasm.

  The following day she received a text message from her boss asking her to come to the Dungeon after working at Starbucks. She then sent back a message saying that she would be there, and then she showed up at seven at the Dungeon.

  When she arrived, the guard allowed her to enter as usual, and she walked to Ralph’s office, and then he took her to a room on the third floor. Once inside, the camera man, Clint, arrived with the man in the mask, and asked her to remove her clothes. The masked man then pointed with his long black dildo, to a pair of wooden stocks on the floor. He then asked her to lie down in them, shackling her ankles, and her arms and neck. He then poured hot wax on her stomach and gently beat her feet as they photographed her.

  After photos had been taken, Clint told Celia to go to the showers and prepare for another scene. She walked in to the bathroom at the end of the hall and washed off the dry wax without getting her hair wet. She used one of the little bars of soap piled on the sink and one of the towels in a pile next to it. She then returned with a towel around her. She was then told to follow the masked man in to another room on the third floor. As she followed him she imagined asking him to remove his mask and almost did before they arrived. Once they had arrived, she felt too shy. They started to prepare for work. Inside the room, there were a pile of apples in a cart, and a sunny garden scenery. The man with the mask left and gave her the clothes she had worn, which he had decided to carry for her. Then a few minutes later Clint came in and told Celia to sit on the apple cart and then took a shot of her. After a few minutes, two other women arrived; one brunette and another blonde; Clint told all three to sit on the apple cart. Then he photographed them nude, sitting together on the cart’s edge. Then he told them to bend over, in a row exposing their bottoms. He then snapped photos from the front and the back of the three women. Then he told the brunette to gently kiss Celia on the lips, and the blonde to stand with her buttocks slightly touching Celia’s. Then he told them to lie down, with Celia in the middle and the two other women on their sides facing her. He then snapped more photos.

  Celia felt that the other two women were very pretty, but she considered herself the prettiest. Then Clint told Celia to touch the shaven vagina of the blonde woman, and he ordered the brunette to touch Celia’s buttocks. Then Clint snapped his camera. He then told the blonde and brunette to hug, and Celia to watch. He then snapped his camera at all three. He then gave Celia a real apple and told her to take a bite as the camera flashed. Then Clint told the brunette to go to a different part of the scenery and wait for a woman in a black robe wearing the mask of a witch to offer her an apple. She was supposed to represent Snow White, in the pornography industry. Then Clint told the brunette to take a bite and then flashed the camera again as she did. Then Clint told the brunette to lie down on the floor with her legs slightly open. Then Clint snapped more photos. Then Clint told the brunette to lie in a glass coffin, and then took a shot with a man dressed as a prince standing next to her. Clint then told them to kiss. As they did, he snapped another shot. Then Clint told the brunette to put white lace stockings on her legs, and a very short pink dress exposing her breasts on her body, while he told the blonde and Celia to wear the same dresses but in pale green with white lace stockings also. Then Clint took photos of them all. He then ordered the blonde and Celia to kiss and then snapped another shot as they did.

  After the last shot of Snow White, with her friends and prince, the photographer gave all four a piece of paper detailing the amount of money that the Dungeon owed them. They then each went home, after changing in to their own clothes and receiving their income.

  Once Celia got home she felt jealous of Snow White and wished she had a prince of her own. She realized that most did not want her and therefore felt too shy to pursue anyone. She accepted life as revolving around, money, work and sex, and expected at best, to find a boyfriend or girlfriend in the same questionable industry she worked in. If she could not find a husband she felt willing to accept a very beautiful girl friend. She had a very static taste when it came to women. They had to be as beautiful as her, and therefore, she had difficulty finding someone, had she chosen to be gay, because most people were straight. After contemplating her empty sex life, Celia went to work at the strip club and felt happy, to have earned thirty thousand in such a short time.

  At the strip club Celia performed the usual routine of stripping down. She came out as a sailor girl first, then as a maid, and then as a waitress. She also performed a genie dance routine with the other women. As they all stripped together it gave the men a full range view of their bodies.

  At midnight, after finishing at the strip club, Celia went home tired, and went to her bed. Before falling asleep, she thought about the masked man, and imagined him as beautiful again. She greatly appreciated his shape, and anticipated seeing it again. She could not believe that she had almost asked him to take off the mask. She felt ashamed of herself for she did not know if he was ugly and if her question would humiliate him. She began to feel silly for wanting to know so desperately. So she decided to try and forget him. She thought of the hot wax which he had poured on top of her nude body and imagined the humiliation she was supposed to feel. She started doubting her beauty as she started wondering if the positions that she had been told to get in to were supposed to be punitive in nature. She felt like they were making fun of her, and thought about how awful men were to humiliate women in such a manner. She remembered the other women from the pornography site with their own unique shapes jutting out in weird ways, and thought about the degradation they had endured. She then imagined how she would feel if they asked her to expose herself again; through close up photographs of her vagina and anus. She wondered how she would feel if they kept pouring wax on her, an act which turned the strange positions in to a humiliation rather than an art form. She thought about the world watching and thinking she was being punished through her appearance. She began to feel shy as she remembered that she would do whatever they commanded, and she decided to not return. Then she remembered her mother dying and how much money she had made in such a short time, and realized she must do whatever she had to in order to succeed. She realized that it was a matter of perception; that the Dungeon was not just for sadomasochism, but rather a love of nudity and sexual exposure. She began to reason that bondage was not really just about punishment but rather about losing control, and feeling exposed and therefore truly becoming one with sex, and the erotic nature inside the person. She argued to herself, that only by giving up control completely could one truly experience sex without restraint and therefore totally . So she began to feel happy again, but could not help the sense of humiliation over the candle wax. Then she imagined the masked man finding her an ugly punished victim instead of a beauty, and felt the cold grasp of humiliation suffocate her. She felt terrible and then decided to masturbate to make herself feel better. She imagined the masked man sticking his dildo penis out and sticking it inside her. She imagined herself spread out on a bar, and the masked man holding her and kissing her. She fell asleep after her body experienced an orgasm.

  The following day she felt a little degraded about her work, and the way that strange men humiliated and hurt her. So after dancing at the strip club, she decided to confide in Maria. As she stood naked in the dressing room, she told Maria that she felt badly about her new life and asked for Maria’s advice.

  Maria responded “the best remedy for such situations is having as much sex as possible. Eventually you realize that sex can never be bad. It is the ultimate life force of the universe, and whenever it is involved, the medicinal properties it possesses will heal your wounds. If you want, tonight you can come over to my place, and I will show you how beautiful sex can be.”

  As Celia looked at Maria’s big brown eyes, and healthy glowing skin, she consented and said “thank you.”

  That night after arriving at Maria’s house, Celia and Maria ate some fruits and yogurt together, and then Maria told her to get naked and lie on
her bed. Then Maria began to give her a deep tissue massage, and then rubbed her vagina until she came to orgasm. The two women then fell asleep together in the candlelight.

  Chapter 22

  Natasha felt excited, as she sat eating breakfast with her dad, for he had bought an apartment, in downtown Miami for her, and it had finally been constructed. Although, one should always look at an apartment before buying it, she could not feel anything but anticipation of the new home, because she had seen the floor plan and liked it. In addition, she had never lived in an apartment before, and therefore felt intrigued. Fredrick felt pleased that Natasha felt happy. Although they had not moved her things to the apartment yet, her dad and her, planned to visit the location, after he had finished work that day. They ate their cereal together, and each contemplated the reasons for the move. Natasha believed she was moving because her dad had decided to help her grow up, and even though she was still a student at college she anticipated the notion with enthusiasm. Meanwhile her dad, Fredrick, contemplated the glory of living alone, and anticipated, not the thought of his daughter growing up, but rather, the thought of his ex-wife potentially moving back in with him; his ex-wife who most would consider a belligerent monster, and hated his daughter, but apparently loved him. Their relationship had flourished after her bout of cancer, and he desperately craved her presence in his household, but had felt scared of losing his daughter and ashamed of loving a monster.

  Natasha often thought of her step-mother, a woman who had attacked her many times, and who, as a result had driven her father to a divorce. He had entered a very charitable pre-nuptual agreement, in which he had given Juliet, his ex-wife, half a house. Her youth had made him appreciate her more, and therefore overlook her aggressive nature for years. If she yelled about something, it seemed like sonnets to him. If she marched through the house with one of her angry cold stares, to him, she was a beautiful ice queen, despite her long dark hair, and slightly dark skin. Her pouty lips filled him with happiness and joy. Despite his incredible love for Juliet his wife, and Luis his son, he also loved Natasha, and at times he could not fathom how Juliet could treat Natasha with such hate. So he decided to divorce Juliet with the notion that Juliet’s love was tainted with impurity and evil. As the years passed and he continued to visit Juliet in order to see Luis, Fredrick developed a keen love for his lost family and therefore a sense of remorse developed over their divorce. As a result, he started perceiving guilt over morality as a burden instead of a blessing, and started seeking counseling from a psychologist in order to rectify his life and sense of lost love. He claimed to Natasha that guilt was a burden and that a psychologist will help him overcome it. So that morning, Natasha felt like her life was bursting with love, when in fact her father felt relief over finally being able to follow his heart more freely.