Gabriel

by Melissa Meintjes

  The receptionist answered “310. He is probably sleeping. I can give him a call tomorrow if you like.”

  Carl then jogged to room 310 and knocked for several minutes. He got no response, and then decided to call from his room. Then too, he got no response. So he decided to walk around the ski lodge and outside on the stone patio he saw Gabriel standing looking at the star lit sky surrounded by ski slopes.

  After opening the glass sliding door, he yelled “Gabriel. I am sorry. Come inside so we can talk.”

  Then Gabriel turned around looked at his friend, wearing only a pajama bottom, and walked around the corner of the lodge.

  Even though it was cold, Carl followed and begged “please forgive me. Why did you not try to come? I have needs.”

  Then through tear filled eyes, Gabriel responded “I thought I filled your needs.”

  Then as Carl got closer he said “you did. You did my love, but I wanted to enjoy myself on my holiday. When my friend from long time ago appeared, we started hitting it off, and one thing led to another. I am sorry, please forgive me. I still love you more than ever.”

  Then Gabriel responded “love does not allow one to abandon the other in illness. I thought one day we would get married. Silly me, I guess those were fantasies.”

  Then Carl responded “they do not have to be, love. Life is whatever you make of it. I will leave him for you.”

  Then Gabriel responded “leave me alone.” Walked back inside and abandoned Carl to the cold.

  As Gabriel Hatfield lay in bed, he felt infuriated as he stared at the ceiling of his hotel room. He could not believe Carl had betrayed him for Bruce. A chubby man, who Gabriel could not tolerate. So he imagined punching Bruce in the face. After imagining the injury he had caused in his imagination he felt filled with guilt and realized that people make mistakes and that therefore, he should forgive Carl. So he decided to forgive Carl the following day only if he promised to never see Bruce again. As he fell asleep, he felt happy because he felt optimistic about his future with Carl once again. He felt filled with hope and humility, a combination that made him fall in love again but also feel trepidation.

  The following day Gabriel woke up early with a smile believing that he would win against the chubby Bruce. In the morning, at breakfast the three ate breakfast together. All three sat silent most of the time, and after breakfast, Carl told Bruce that he would spend the day with Gabriel to make up for what happened. Offended, Bruce walked away.

  The rest of the day Carl spent teaching Gabriel Hatfield how to ski, and as they skied through the various slopes, trees, and wildlife, Gabriel felt as if nothing bad had ever happened. So he kissed Carl by a pine tree, and grabbed his rear the way he had seen him grab Bruce’s. They enjoyed a chili stew for lunch, and some wine. After lunch, they skied again. At night they sat in a Jacuzzi together and felt as if they had died and gone to heaven. After the Jacuzzi, they went to sleep in Gabriel’s room after satisfying each other with oral sex. They each experienced an orgasm, and fell asleep in each other’s arms nude, as if nothing bad had happened the night before.

  The following day at breakfast, Gabriel Hatfield felt offended at the sight of Bruce and so decided to go to Starbucks with Carl instead. Carl felt like encouraging a threesome, but realized that if he did, he would potentially lose Gabriel forever. So he decided to not divulge his fantasies. Gabriel knew that Carl most probably wanted a threesome, but hoped that Carl would never ask. Gabriel had always taken great pride in his virtue of monogamy and deeply wanted to continue in such a path.

  So he told Carl “I hope you never think that I want to sleep with you and Bruce together, because I do not. I also hope you never cheat on me again, because then I will not forgive you.”

  Then Carl responded “of course not. I love you. Thank you for forgiving me.”

  After the ski trip, as Gabriel continued to work as a nurse, he constantly felt reminded of how Carl did not want to care for the sick, and therefore constantly felt filled with pride and hatred towards Carl’s selfishness. He started to perceive Carl’s love as empty and shallow, and therefore selfish. He felt humiliated by Carl’s love because it made a mockery of their relationship and therefore him. Gabriel had always felt that the relationship between him and Carl had defined him, and so that night, he broke up with Carl, knowing that he did not want to share his life with a selfish egotistical man who would betray him. As he imagined Bruce, he thought about disease and imagined that maybe Carl had contracted something, and therefore felt stupid for having trusted him.

  Although Gabriel Hatfield kind of hated Carl, he could not face him as they broke up, and therefore sent him a text message saying “I cannot trust you and therefore it is over.”

  Chapter 34

  Natasha, felt sad to be alive in the Twin Towers. She constantly felt the hatred of her father and the employees of the Twin Towers, and wished that she had the power to move. As she contemplated begging her dad to help her find an apartment, he always claimed that it was a waste of time for him. So she thought of Gabriel two doors down and felt happier again. She had lost some of the weight that she had gained, and had cut her hair short. She had put on make-up to make herself feel more feminine. As she walked around with a lot of make-up on, her short hair felt bearable. She had liked Gabriel Strife for so long that she had forgotten to value the length of her hair, and so she had cut it short believing that only her features mattered. One day, as she looked at a beautiful man on television she developed an infatuation with him. As she looked at pictures of him on the internet, she began to feel very awkward about her hair which seemed to reflect a desire to be him instead of be with him, and so she decided to let her hair grow out. As a result, she decided to wear a scarf around her head, and sometimes a hat.

  To her surprise, Gabriel Strife the blonde man she had always secretly coveted, suddenly embodied the man she wanted; a brunette. From reading a book on love, she recognized that a need to please, came from love, and therefore became filled with happiness at the thought that the most beautiful man in the world loved her. She also noticed how often he walked by her door. He would park his car outside in order to walk by more often, instead of parking by his door, and coincidentally bought a little white dog around that time too. She decided that she loved him the way he loved her. Although she loved him, a part of her doubted her luck, because he was already taken and he could have had any woman he wanted and he must have known that. So although she wanted to possess him, she lacked the courage to ask him.

  Since Natasha had moved in to the Twin Towers, Gabriel Strife had always been nice enough to greet her, as did some of the other residents, except for Sarah. If Natasha said hello, then Sarah ignored her. If Natasha smiled, Sarah blankly stared; if Natasha waved, Sarah disregarded. Natasha felt very hurt by Sarah’s behavior and desperately wanted to tell Gabriel, but then always imagined Gabriel to not believe her and then to hate her more than Sarah could ever make him hate her, because he would believe that Natasha had tried to split them up. So as she imagined Sarah talking about her to Gabriel, she imagined that perhaps, Gabriel had never even loved her; that Gabriel, had only shown love for her because he felt moved by hate and a desire for vengeance. She imagined that Gabriel had grown infuriated with the lies that Sarah had told to the point that he had decided to lead Natasha on and break her heart. Then Natasha felt terrible. She felt humiliated for his potential hate, and decided to visit her mother.

  Natasha spent two weeks visiting her mother, and then came back braver to face Gabriel. She had visited her mother in a small town called Willis, Texas. When she had visited her mother, the men were so amorous in comparison to the Miami men, that Natasha regained whatever confidence she had lost. She realized that Gabriel most likely did love her, and so decided to confront him. In Texas, she saw one of the boys from her high school who had a crush on her and was too shy to ever ask her out. So when she returned to Miami, she desperately wanted to see Gabriel, and when she did, she was happy to fin
d that he had lost all the weight that he had gained

  She knew that he went jogging at around seven pm, and therefore decided to go walking too. As she walked around looking at the tall buildings around her, she realized that she might miss him and so decided to sit down, on one of the cement steps around the building for a few minutes to see if he would pass by. As she sat waiting, she eagerly anticipated asking him why he had dyed his hair coincidentally at around the same time that she had started covering hers. She imagined him saying “because I like you,” and then she imagined him saying “I just like it brown.” Then in the dim evening she saw his figure approach, and as the figure came closer her heart started beating faster, and her nerves got the best of her, and so as he passed all she said was “hello.” As she sat in the dark, she started wondering if he had felt the same, and came to the conclusion that he probably did and therefore forgave him for his lack of courage. She realized she would never be able to ask him, because of her nerves, and so she started practicing at home.

  She practiced enough times that, one day in the corridor in front of her apartment after she heard his dog bells jingling by, she went out and asked him “Can I ask you a question?”

  He responded “yes.”

  Then she said “did you dye your hair to impress me.”

  Then he responded “I never dyed my hair. It has always been brown. Perhaps you confused it.”

  Then Natasha responded “perhaps I need mental help.”

  Then Gabriel walked away, and Natasha felt sad to not have experienced his honesty. She decided that he had gotten too shy and nervous to tell the truth. Perhaps that he loved brown hair so much, that he pretended he had always been brown.

  As Natasha walked inside her home, she felt frustrated that she could not get closer to Gabriel Strife. She composed various letters to him, recounting his behavior and asking for an explanation, but felt too shy to give one to him; because she constantly remembered his girlfriend’s brutality, and wondered if he had done everything he did to hurt her or because he loved her. She wondered with agony as she imagined him fornicating with another woman. She imagined them having sex and came to the conclusion that she could not compete with that. She also imagined Gabriel loving more women than just her and Sarah and then imagined in the future being cheated on. So as she imagined being cheated on and betrayed, she grew happy that Sarah, her enemy, had been burdened with a promiscuous boyfriend instead of her.

  Natasha; besides feeling happy that Gabriel Strife liked her for the sake of lust itself, also felt happy to know that Gabriel did not love Sarah as much. All the times that Sarah had subtly humiliated her had made her hate Sarah, and therefore Gabriel’s betrayal had made her existence at the Twin Towers much sweeter. She imagined Sarah being hurt and felt satisfied, and therefore stopped scowling at Sarah every time she walked by.

  As Natasha, imagined Gabriel Strife fornicating with Sarah, she imagined that he did not really love her, despite his teasing, and therefore would never truly possess him. So she desperately wished to get closer to Gabriel and to possess photos of him instead. So she imagined finding them on Facebook. As a result she wished she knew his name and did a reverse look-up on his address, but found nothing. Then a few days later, she saw Gabriel in the elevator and she told him that she and Sarah did not get along, and how Sarah had behaved.

  Gabriel then responded that he did not know who to believe because he has known Sarah for much longer; he retorted “I don’t even know your name.”

  Then Natasha responded “my name is Natasha, what is yours?”

  Then Gabriel responded “Gabriel,” as he rushed away.

  Natasha felt disappointed that she did not know his last name, but felt pleased to know that his first name sounded as beautiful as the word “Gabriel.” She loved the name Gabriel, because it reminded her of angels. A famous archangel had been called Gabriel, and instead of feeling fear, she felt love. She had dreamed of angels once. She had dreamed that she was in the dark on a roof with rain pouring and all of a sudden a group of male angels fell from the heavens. Each had bodies more beautiful than the next, and faces, fierce and angelic in nature. As she remembered the dream, she remembered loving one of them and being protected by him. So as she recounted her dream she fell in love with the name Gabriel, for the imagery of angels it contained, and the sound that she enjoyed rolling off her tongue.

  The following day, Natasha, desperately wanted to get closer to Gabriel, and so decided to type his name in on the Facebook search engine. She then typed in Miami, FL for location, and then she searched through the various Gabriel’s of Miami, to find the man she loved. As she searched, she found a variety of men who she thought might be Gabriel; men who had their photos taken from too far away, or men who put up pictures of nature or art instead of themselves. So she opened up her browser to a variety of Gabriels, and the ones she felt unsure about, she investigated further to find out if he was the Gabriel of her dreams. After an hour of looking and having looked at all the Gabriels, she gave up without any photograph of her beloved neighbor from two doors down. Although she had decided to give up, she still felt a desperate urge to possess a photo of him, and so for fun typed in the street name where they lived “Sunset” in to the location space, and then five little entries for Gabriel came up. Then she saw the face of the man she loved. Two of the entries possessed his face with the name “Gabriel Hatfield,” attached to one, and also “Gabriel Hatfield” attached to the other. With excitement she clicked the first entry, and then read his posts, and analyzed his photographs.

  Once she clicked the first Gabriel Hatfield, she analyzed the various comments and photographs he had posted, and found that they did not match the personality of the man she had imagined. She at first felt elated with glee, over the abundance of pictures of her beloved. She immediately saved them to her desktop. She especially loved the photo of him from below, with big lips puffed out and his blue green eyes looking at her from above. She loved watching his sense of humor as he had put up a sign above his picture that said “Hey look at me.” She then inspected, his taste in music which included many bands she had previously heard of and liked. His taste in music included, Incubus, Britney Spears, Katy Perry, Black Eyed Peas, Nine Inch Nails, Enrique Iglesias, Pitbull, Three doors down, Blink 182, Vulgar, Mary J Blige, Ludacris, Aerosmith, Tiesto, Taylor Swift, Coldplay, Nickelback, Drake, Snoop Dog, Nirvana, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and Lincoln Park. Although she did not like all the music, she liked many of them. For example, she loved Katy Perry, Britney Spears, Incubus, Three doors down, and Pitbull. She had also always loved Nirvana. So as she contemplated his taste in music, she appreciated the way he seemed to love music and a wide variety of it. She then analyzed the books he enjoyed and she found that he only had two favorite books; “Embraced by the Light,” and the “Secret.” He had made another entry beyond his two favorite books, he had written “inspirational literature.” She felt moved by his spirituality and felt like she loved him even more. She approved of his obsession with positive thought and thought about positive thought in her own life, and how positive thought helped relieve stress according to a lot of experts. Then she thought of meditation and how it also helped relieve stress. She then analyzed his likes and they included: Ray ban, liquid dancing, hanging out with friends, Facebook, web browsing, research, reading, Miami clubbing, shopping, android, positivity, Konstantin Anton, Master Card, Javier J Toledo, AT&T, glow sticking, Sand, Joan Crawford, You Tube, Svedka Vodka, Movado, Sigmund Freud, Starbucks, McDonald’s, glow sticks, Belvedere Vodka, Patron Tequila, Macy’s, and Samsung.

  Although Natasha did not understand all the different entries that were made, she clicked the ones she did not understand in order to get a better understanding of Gabriel. She clicked on Movado, and found out he loved crystal watches. She clicked on Ray Ban and found out that he loved sunglasses. She clicked on Sand and found out that he loved fashion. She enjoyed knowing these things about him, and treasured them because they were
his. She continued to click on things such as Javier J Toledo, and found out that he believed in humanism, a philosophy that values evidence instead of faith. She then clicked on Konstantin Anton and found out that Gabriel cared a lot about his skin, because Konstantin Anton represented a skin care brand. She clicked on Joan Crawford and found out that he loved beautiful successful women. She had been a famous American actress during the 1940’s. She clicked on android and found out that he loved technology. She then analyzed his love of glow sticks and felt intoxicated by the beauty of the glowing sticks, and appreciated him for his unique and beautiful sense of taste. She imagined him liquid dancing with glow sticks, and loved what she saw. She then compared them to phallic symbols that glowed like magic, the magic she felt for Gabriel; on the internet and in real life.

  After Natasha analyzed all of Gabriel’s likes, she analyzed his comments and realized that he often talked about the mundane events of his life. She then looked at each of the sixty seven photos he had posted. A lot of them, were of him, from the front, on different days, in different lighting and sometimes from slightly different angles. Some of them he had altered by making them black and white, or grayscale. He seemed to love to play with photographs of himself. Some of them showed him wearing sunglasses, drinking a beverage, kissing at the camera, shaving, fixing his hair, driving, or wearing make-up. She loved watching him on different days so up-close, and loved the way the warmth of his personality showed through his kisses. She loved him, but wondered why he chose to wear make-up. She saw the photo in which he called himself “faggot,” and wondered why he had chosen to seduce her, live with a woman, and at the same time choose to represent himself as gay, on Facebook. Then she looked at his other site, on which he had no open likes, just two groups that he belonged to, a bunch of posts, and around ninety five pictures of himself. He belonged, to a gay pride group, and a hurricane survivor group. She felt more shocked, the more she watched him. She also noticed that on the second site she could comment on his photos, anonymously. She had set up a fake account called, Mary Singer, from which she felt free to say what she wanted. She looked at all his pictures, which included more than just headshots. One of them represented him holding a pack of condoms, another of him smoking, and another of him cleaning up as a nurse. She also enjoyed the photos he had taken of his body. One of them, of his buttocks dressed in blue jeans from the side; a perfect round hump of beauty. Another of him with his legs open in a pair of black jeans, with holes worn in on the thighs between his legs. She loved looking at the photo of him drinking from the light and another of him combing his hair. She loved his perfect complexion, high cheek bones, perfect symmetry, large blue green eyes, and beautifully shaped body and hands.