Gabriel

by Melissa Meintjes

  The following day at work Miguel saw many of the women in the Twin Towers and imagined killing many of them. He especially wanted to kill a young blonde woman for reminding him of Joanna but not being her, and then for undermining her and Miguel’s love with her life. He wanted to stalk her, but could not, and therefore grew frustrated. So as he noticed the filming cameras he decided to go to the security office and borrow some of the footage of the lobby, the street, and the garage, in order to find out more about the blonde woman who reminded him of Joanna. After work he told the security guards that he desperately needed the tapes in order to assess some customer complaints, and so the security guards gave him all the tapes from the last two months.

  After work, Miguel ate a dinner of fish and chips, and as he ate, he plugged the first tape in to his video player. He watched eagerly all the residents of the Twin Towers and noticed that he wanted to kill several of the women. As he analyzed their behaviors he desired to kill them and promised himself he would. He thought about how the blonde woman, called Mary Higgins, had recently moved in and experienced life in the condominium with a husband and a baby. Although Miguel enjoyed the idea of the baby on her arms, he still felt a desperate need to kill her. So he watched the tapes eagerly. By the time he had finished, he realized that she would be difficult to kill because she never exercised or did anything else alone around the Twin Towers. So he decided that he would have to lure her in to his office and kill her there with a silencer on his gun.

  The following day he lured Mary Higgins in to his office by claiming that she needed to pay some fees. As she stared at his computer screen, he shot her through the heart with a silencer on his weapon. Immediately she sat down, and then gently fell to the floor, in to the arms of death. He then pushed her body in to the closet. After work, he pushed her in to a canvas bag and dragged her out to his car and then put her in his trunk. The following day he asked for the footage of the previous day from the security office. He then destroyed the footage, and felt secure in his privacy. He had also placed a rug on to the blood stain on the floor in his office. He then continued to watch the footage of the Twin Towers to look for new victims.

  Several days later, Miguel heard on the news that Mary Higgins had disappeared and everyone assumed that she had run away with a lover. The police could not find any footage of her entering the office of Miguel, on any of the tapes, when they borrowed the tapes from the security guards. The security guards did not mention Miguel having borrowed them a few days earlier because they felt scared of being terminated by him. The last footage of her, showed her leaving the Twin Towers and not returning because Miguel had eradicated the one of her returning.

  When the police returned the tapes to the security guards, Miguel continued his voyeurism, and watched as the various residents lived their lives. As Miguel watched, he noticed other women he wanted to kill, and he noticed that he loved the idea of killing. He loved the idea of the red blood flowing from their bodies, because blood to him seemed to symbolize passion, and so the way it moved a bull it moved Miguel.

  As Miguel watched the tapes he noticed a young woman called Gwyneth, and he felt her beauty captivate him. He loved the tight workout clothes she wore. He loved the way the spandex hugged her body. Her buttocks seemed more alive because of it, and her curves seemed to speak to him. So he decided to watch her more often. He imagined killing her but then her curves seemed to say otherwise. So he watched her continually, and then remembered Joanna’s smile and knew he had to kill her also. So he thought he would stalk her as she exercised on the street of Sunset place. He imagined her going in to a dark alley and shooting her in the head with a silencer. He knew he had to follow her with his car in order to get rid of the body. So he decided to first follow her on foot in order to not make her suspicious with the car.

  Every day at 8pm Miguel would arrive at the condominium wearing a hat, and would follow Gwyneth from a distance. He watched as she jogged, and appreciated the crisp air as he jogged too. After several weeks of stalking Gwyneth, Miguel realized that she usually walked the same way every day, and decided that he would kill her on a certain street which always seemed empty. So the following day, he drove to that street when he knew Gwyneth would be there, pulled out his gun and shot her with the silencer. As she fell to the floor he stopped the car, got out, and then dragged her in to his car. In the car, he wrapped her in a plastic bag, and then dragged her in to his home, where he hacked her up and burned her, the way he had Joanna.

  Once he had finished with Gwyneth, he whispered to himself “You see Joanna I will always love you. If you die, all women need to die.”

  After Gwyneth’s death, Miguel felt remorse, for he had enjoyed watching her jog, and thinking about her. He imagined being with her sexually and began to feel sad that he had killed her. He remembered her spandex and felt overwhelmed. He began to doubt his strategy of killing for Joanna’s memory and decided to instead kill no one, and to try to appreciate people for who they were.

  As the days passed he decided to give the tapes back to the security guards and live his life as usual, trying to remember that Joanna had been beautiful, but so had others. As he tried to enjoy the residents, he thought of Natasha and then fell in hate again. He hated her because she had not gotten along with some of the employees. One had insulted her and then claimed that she had insulted him. Miguel felt frustrated that he did not know what had happened, and with Natasha’s audacity. How could she think that different rules should apply to her, he wondered. So he grew to hate her for her overzealous pride and for thinking she was so special she did not have to follow the rules. As a result, he began to get an urge to kill her, and fantasized about it daily.

  Chapter 37

  Although Natasha felt scared of being abused further by Gabriel Hatfield, she decided to write to him anyway, because she reasoned that he liked the attention since he allowed people to comment on his pictures. So she wrote about a picture of him sitting in a car. She wrote: “Who is the fairest of them all? Mr. Snow White. I need to forget you. I don’t know why I was so sick to write to you again. Please don’t write back. I don’t want another show down. I am going to pretend you never existed. I still hate you.” Then she wrote about his picture of him drinking the light “Pure art! You must be an artist.” She continued to analyze his pictures and found some, of his eyes up close, and they looked like emeralds or sapphires or both. They seemed to reflect the light in a transcendent way, which she greatly appreciated.

  The following day Gabriel sent her a friend request, and Natasha immediately accepted his friendship. She felt so happy to be able to write to him and not get his repudiation. So she wrote “Hi Gabriel, I just thought that you should know that there is a guy who looks just like you and he acts like a heterosexual. So you should see a psychiatrist for multiple personality disorder.” She then wrote “I think that real gay men put up pictures of other men, not just themselves.” Then Natasha continued to pursue a closer friendship to him by writing “Hi Gabriel, I am writing to you because I have an obsession with you. Until I figure out if you are crazy or if I am crazy, I think a lot about you. Please tell me the truth. Do you have two identities. Do you want me to talk to the other guy for you?” Despite all of Natasha’s treaties to Gabriel, he failed to respond and then she wrote him the following, pretending, he was Gabriel Strife:

  Hi Gabriel, I have to come clean about who I am. I am your neighbor from two doors down in the Twin Towers. I am very touched by the crush you had on me and might still have. I think you set up this website because you fantasize about me writing to you without the threat of me thinking you are a cheater. I know I seem very full of myself, but you seemed very obsessed with me for a while. If you are doing all this for me, I think you have a medical condition that you should see a doctor’s help for. I like you a lot though, and when I am ready to have a relationship with you, I plan to tell you. In the case, that you are not Gabriel my beautiful neighbor who has an obsession with me, but rather
a freak coincidence, I am sorry for alarming you. You should not tell people your address, since historically homosexuals are often beaten up.

  Knowing you exist makes me so happy. Even though you are mean, I know the world is more beautiful because there are two of you.

  I would be careful because you might be a clone. It is illegal to clone, so I would be careful around my family and friends because they could be evil scientists.

  As the days passed, Natasha heard no response from Gabriel, and as a result, she began to worry, and then she wrote “How come you do not talk to me anymore? I hope you are still alive. I plan to tell your brother about you.” The following day she wrote “Thank you for asking me to be your friend. When I get a chance I will send you a photo. You are a beautiful celebration of manhood.” Then Gabriel responded after not having responded for about a week. He wrote “I think this is an entire misunderstanding.” Then Natasha asked “What do you mean?” Then Gabriel responded “I don’t know what you speak of. I am gay and that’s me.” Then Natasha responded “I mean you celebrate your beauty more than other men do, and I think it is very beautiful.” Then Gabriel responded “Thank you I had confused you with someone else. My apologies.” Then Natasha ended the conversation. The following day she came back and looked at Gabriel’s photos again and wrote “Hi Gabriel.” Then Gabriel immediately responded by writing “Hi.” Then Natasha continued the conversation by writing “I saw the guy from two doors down today, I was amazed at the resemblance. He has been very cold lately. I have not seen him for a long time. I think he is scared that I am going to talk to his girlfriend about his behavior. I kind of hate him for tormenting me with his girlfriend.” Then Gabriel responded “I am sorry. Where do you live?” Then Natasha responded “The Twin Towers across from the Sunset mall.” Then Gabriel responded “No way I am close to you.” Then Natasha grew shy and wrote “If it bothers you that I rave about your looks, just tell me. I am sorry..” Then Gabriel responded “it is ok. Are you really a woman?” Then Natasha responded “yes.” Then Gabriel asked “How did we meet? How come u don’t have a picture?” Then Natasha responded “I was looking for the guy from two doors down because his name is Gabriel, and then I found you on Facebook. I don’t have a picture because this wasn’t an actual site, it was just for looking at men. I am going to look for some photos.” Then Gabriel wrote “I am sorry for having disrespected you.” Then Natasha responded “It is ok. I am sorry for the things I said too.” Then Gabriel responded “it is ok.” Then Natasha wrote “Bye, bye,” and Gabriel responded “bye.”

  The following day Natasha felt overwhelmed with happiness to have a friendship with Gabriel, although he seemed strange, and she thought he could be a stranger from the man two doors down. So she continued to look at his photographs, and then noticed that he posted a photo of himself with sunglasses on, and with his mouth a little open, exposing his pink tongue. When she saw the photo she decided to comment on it by writing “sexy.” Then Gabriel Hatfield responded, by writing “Thank you.”

  After a while, Natasha decided to send Gabriel a photo of herself. She sent a photo of herself that she had taken while driving. She liked the way her features looked in it the most. After she sent it, she wrote “This is a photo of me.” Gabriel gave no response and then she wrote, “hi Gabriel.” Then Gabriel wrote back “Mary Singer, with all due respect are you a bigot?” “What do you mean?” Natasha responded. “Are you homophobic?” Gabriel wrote back. Then Natasha responded “No. I am a little scared of HIV. But if you do not have HIV, I do not care. Are you a bigot against heterosexuals?” Then there was silence and Natasha wrote “Hi gorgeous, did you disappear?” Then Gabriel wrote “You did not answer my question.” Then Natasha wrote “I did, but to make it clear, no, I am not homophobic.” Then Gabriel responded “Thank you. No I can’t be against anyone in the sense of being prejudice. I am not ignorant nor am I sick.” Then Natasha responded “That makes me very happy.” Then Gabriel responded “Thank you for the fun facts,” and asked “who are you?” Natasha responded “What do you mean? We have been occasionally talking now for a while. What is wrong with you? You should remember. I am the one who thought you were a clone. Are you ok?” Then Gabriel responded “No pic how am I to know?” Then Natasha responded “I thought you would remember my name. I sent you a pic already. Do you remember?” Then Gabriel decided to unfriend her, because he decided that he liked her too much, and he felt uncomfortable admitting that he liked women. Then Natasha, feeling alarmed wrote “Why did you unfriend me? It hurts a lot that you do not like me. I am sorry for whatever I did. You are so cruel. Please tell me what I did? Then Natasha could no longer contact him, for she had been blocked from his account.

  Natasha felt terrible, feeling like she had lost Gabriel forever. She realized she loved him and desperately wanted to do anything to please him. So she searched his other sites, and found the other Gabriel Hatfield site, with all his likes listed, but that site did not allow for any contact with him. Then she typed Gabriel Hatfield in to Google, and found out that he had an account on Bebo, another social networking site. So she created an account for herself and found out that she could not download anything there. Despite the inability for Bebo to function correctly, Natasha felt happy that she could finally contact Gabriel. Even though she could contact Gabriel, she decided not to because of the fear of rejection. She instead decided to look at his picture and feel happy just to be close to him through photographs. Then she thought about Gabriel and desperately wished she could get closer to him and therefore logged in to her real Facebook account, under the name of Natasha Hedge.

  Although Natasha felt devastated by her loss of Gabriel Hatfield, she felt happy because she felt quite certain that he was not the man from two doors down. Although she knew Gabriel Hatfield was not the perfect prince charming from two doors down, but rather a man who embodied rampant sexuality, and a free spirit; things she had been taught to fear, she loved him and missed him intensely.

  Natasha had lost the weight that she had gained, by following the advice she had learned from her sister; to see food as healthy instead of an obstacle. As a result of losing the weight, she should of felt happy and optimistic. Despite her happiness over her weight, Natasha felt sad to have lost Gabriel Hatfield, a man she loved more than Gabriel from two doors down.

  Chapter 38

  Natasha Hedge felt like she had lost Gabriel Hatfield, and Gabriel from two doors down, for she would never have the courage to tell either one how she really felt. She secretly watched Gabriel Hatfield from her other account, under the name of Natasha Hedge. She would watch, him with fascination, as he continued to put up pictures, of himself every day. He would put up pictures of his face from different angles often enough to make Natasha feel connected to him. She would look at his account and feel merely happy to look at him, without talking to him. She noticed how he continued to be single, and noticed how he had continued to allow her to access his other account. Therefore Natasha, felt that he had wanted to keep watching her through that account. She imagined him to be the sadistic man she had always dreamed about, and therefore enjoyed how he secretly watched her through his other account most probably enjoying her pain. She relished the thought that he did, and at times imagined him spanking her the way they had discussed. The thought of having displeased Gabriel hurt her, and so she desperately wished she had the courage to talk to him again. She wondered what she could say to him. She imagined saying that she loved him, and then imagined that he already knew.

  As Natasha fantasized about Gabriel Hatfield, spanking her, and making love to her, she would often wonder how far she would go for him through her masochistic fantasies. As she imagined him as a sadist, the thoughts frightened her as did her love of her own pain. Despite the fear, she felt moved by him and would often masturbate about him.

  As Natasha watched Gabriel Hatfield through Facebook, she concluded that he had appreciated the attention she had given him, despite his abusive front. She though
t he appreciated it because he seemed to want more of the type of attention she had given him. He did not feel satisfied with just a picture of his legs open, or a picture of his buttocks in denim from the side, anymore. So he decided to put more photos of that nature up on his site. He placed a photo of his jeans cut off at the groin, and him bent over with his legs shaven. Then he put up another picture of himself only wearing the leg part of the denim, and wearing male thongs with the word “papi” on them. Again she noticed no body hair, and loved the site of his rear gracefully exposed. Next to the photo he wrote “Holding on to the moment.” Natasha saw that on his face there was a little make-up, and desperately loved him for his attention to detail. She loved looking at his naked legs exposed with his rear widened in a bent over position under the denim. She desperately craved to touch his buttocks, and wanted to put her fingers inside his anus and kiss his butt cheeks. She imagined licking the soft flesh between his legs and loving him through his behind. The thought tantalized her. Men usually hid their bodies in shame like the inferior sex, but Gabriel showed it, and pleased everyone he saw with it. His legs shaven to her were the most beautiful things in the world. She wished she could touch the gentle layers of fat exposed below silky skin. As she wished she could caress him, she loved him for his vulnerability and for allowing her to know what men often felt for women. She had never imagined how erotic a shaven body could be, because the men she had known had never shaven. So she loved him all the more. She looked at the gentle curvature of his graceful male bottom, and appreciated the incredible beauty it possessed. She wished she could be a man so that she could touch him, and make him smile.