Gabriel

by Melissa Meintjes

  After work, he drove home, and when he arrived home he found Dorothy watching television in a very clean apartment. She had obviously spent the day cleaning. Nothing contained any dust, everything stood in a correct order, and she had washed the dishes and the kitchen counters. She had also cooked dinner for him of veggie chicken, and vegetables. After arriving he kissed her and said “thank you.” Then he sat down at the kitchen table saying “I am starving.” Then she served him and herself the veggie chicken, vegetables, and some salad. They ate together, in a state of perfect harmony. After dinner she served him and her some low fat vanilla ice cream. As they both ate, they enjoyed each other profoundly. After dinner he went to his computer screen and went to a literary webpage, instead of a pornography site. He again felt a desire to be loyal through his mind, body, and soul, the way he had initially with Sarah. He started reading a book called “The Davinci Code.” After about an hour he took his dog for a walk, with Dorothy, and although he missed Natasha, he felt more satisfied with Dorothy than he had ever felt with Sarah. After having walked his dog he told Dorothy that he wanted to take a shower. So they both got naked and showered together. Then they, made love and fell asleep together.

  Dorothy dreamed of herself dancing with Prince Charming again, while she saw Eric in prison. Then Dorothy saw herself sitting on a throne, next to Prince Charming. During the dream she wore the emerald dress that exposed her cleavage and cinched her waist. The dream showed them sitting on the throne and then dancing.

  During the weekend, Gabriel took Dorothy to a restaurant overlooking the sea, and the sunset. After dinner he proposed to her showing her a ring. She smiled with elation saying “yes.” Then Gabriel and Dorothy decided to get married a month later. So they made reservations on the beach, and invited all of Gabriel’s friends.

  Dorothy wore a white lacy dress, even though she had not been a virgin since the age of sixteen. When she bought the dress she told Gabriel “Gabriel should I really wear a lie.” Then Gabriel responded “the white of the dress to me symbolizes the purity of your love. Nobody is a virgin anymore. Those days are gone.” Then he kissed her. She smiled, and asked “how could white symbolize love, I always thought red did.” Then Gabriel responded “White symbolizes love because it is devoid of all other colors, and therefore it is the purest of colors, the way love should be. It is pure of distractions, pure of doubt, pure of faith and longing for anything other than your love.” Then Dorothy smiled “That is how I feel, so I guess it is the perfect color.” Then she bought the white lace dress that wrapped around her like a corset, and held up her plump breasts perfectly. It reached the floor, and then she wrapped her hair up and wrapped it in white pearls. She looked stunning. She then bought pearls for her neck and her ears.

  When the day for the wedding came, Dorothy placed her dress on, and walked down the aisle on the beach, constantly feeling the fairies promise of grace. At the end of the aisle, she promised to love her husband through sickness, and health; in poverty and in riches, and love him till the day she died. Gabriel promised the same, and after he did they kissed in front of the Miami sunset.

  That night, they made love, and he impregnated her. They then went for a week to Hawaii, and hiked under waterfalls, and made love many times over.

  Chapter 50

  During the three days, after the HIV test, Gabriel and Natasha constantly told each other that there would be nothing to fear. Each night they did something special, because they both knew it might be the last three days they spend together in happiness and peace. The first night, they spent walking on the beach, holding hands and looking at the stars. They kissed many times and gave each other oral sex. The second night, they danced at a dance club until two am. Natasha loved how she felt Gabriel’s groin occasionally rub against hers. They loved the music and they loved each other. As they danced every moment felt like ecstasy. The third night they watched two movies that they had rented and hugged all night telling each other that they would stand by each other even if the other was sick. Then Gabriel said “Tomorrow everything might change. Even if you accept me with HIV, I don’t think I can be in a relationship where I know I might kill you.” Then Natasha responded “I am sure we will work something out. I will never abandon you.” Then Gabriel responded “ok,” with tears in his eyes. Then Natasha responded “I know you do not believe in God, but maybe we should pray in case.” Then Gabriel nodded his head as he fought back tears. Then Natasha proceeded by saying “Dear God, please forgive us our sins, and help us. Please do not let us have HIV. If you do not let us have HIV, we will be good, and always strive to do your bidding. Please God. In the name of the father, the son, and the holy spirit. Amen.” Then she whispered “May god have mercy on our souls.” Gabriel then kissed her hand, wishing he had not committed to getting tested and instead continued to live in the moment of bliss called love.

  The following day, Gabriel called in sick for work and they both went to the medical clinic to find out their results. As they sat in the cold clinic, they waited for the doctor, and the doctor told them that Gabriel had tested positive for HIV. As he heard the news, Gabriel’s grip tightened on Natasha’s hand, and as they stood looking at the doctor, their lives seem to flash before their eyes. They both suppressed tears as they walked to the car. Once in the car, Natasha hugged Gabriel, and Gabriel began to cry.

  Natasha then said “I will stay with you the way I promised.”

  At first Gabriel did not respond. After he had stopped crying, a coldness seemed to invade him, and he said “you really do not have to. Why should you waste your life.” As Gabriel remembered Carl, he could not believe that he had been capable of killing him.

  Then Natasha asked “do you know who infected you?”

  Then Gabriel responded “I am pretty sure it was Carl.”

  Then Natasha said “It is a shame that you did not ask him to wear a condom.”

  Then Gabriel responded, “I did at first, but then he took it off without my permission. Then he confessed it to me and made me feel guilty for not having trusted him. I felt scared and already victimized, so we regularly started having unprotected sex.”

  Natasha then said “I wish I could kill him.”

  Then Gabriel responded “I am also to blame. I should have asked for an HIV test.”

  Then Natasha noticed him blushing and responded “we all make mistakes. I have made the same mistake. HIV is apparently very common among homosexual males. My mother claims that they are sick because of a punishment from God. I often wondered about that growing up. I came to the conclusion that Christians are crazy. HIV could not be a punishment from God, because you are the best person I know.”

  Then Gabriel asked “then how come I have it and you don’t?” Then Natasha responded, it must be because you people are not scared of getting pregnant.”

  Then Gabriel responded, “I think a lot of heterosexuals enjoy no protection.”

  Natasha hated how self-effacing he sounded and so tried to defend him from his own hatred by saying “I am sure that there is a psychological explanation, for the self-neglect of homosexuals.”

  Then Gabriel asked “what reason would that be?”

  Then Natasha responded “Perhaps the way that society hates and has hated homosexuals drives them to love and trust each other more than normal.”

  Then Gabriel responded “It is strange that you do not think everyone has a free choice between right and wrong. How come you think that way?”

  Then Natasha responded, “I had a sister who could not control what she ate, I almost committed suicide from depression, I know you have HIV yet I love you, and therefore I know that people cannot always control themselves. That is why I often forgive people.”

  Gabriel then responded “I don’t think you should continue seeing me. Just because I do have free choice and I plan to make the right one by you.”

  Then Natasha said “I could never stop loving you even if you were dying. I will never leave you.”

&nbs
p; Then she put her hand on his thigh. Gabriel then took her hand and placed it back on her thigh saying “I think we are over. I do not want to infect you and that is final. I also do not want to be a burden on your life. I want you to remember me from the better times; before HIV.”

  Then Natasha began to cry.

  In the evening, once Gabriel had gone to sleep, Natasha could not sleep for fear of losing Gabriel, and so she prayed and asked god how he could of let this happen. She wondered why god had let her love a man so tainted. As she thought about god and what he would say, she imagined him saying “If you don’t want to love him leave. You choose your own fate. People always choose their own fate.” Then as she imagined leaving she realized she could not, and as she wondered what she would say to god, she realized that the most important thing in life to her had been love. That life passed fast, but love gave it meaning, and that perhaps, love should be revered as more important than life. As she contemplated how much she loved Gabriel, she began to cry and after crying for half an hour, she realized that she could maybe persuade him to keep her, because she could not live without him. So as she contemplated suicide, she remembered the one time she had attempted it and felt like the world was calling her crazy once again. As she contemplated how much she loved Gabriel, she called the world crazy, for having criticized her for wanting to die. She called the world crazy for most people always wanted to die for something; whether, it be cigarettes, food, or sex. So as she contemplated her sanity for loving a man as perfect as Gabriel, she realized she wanted to die with him, and so decided to prick him with a knife and then prick herself, so that he would never abandon her.

  As she walked to the kitchen she remembered all the people who had betrayed her, and hurt her. She remembered how her dad had treated her, how her sister had abandoned her because of Fredrick’s gossiping, she remembered how her mother had constantly sided with her father. She remembered how she had lost her dog, and how Gabriel two doors down did not find her important enough to commit to. Then she thought about how cruel life could be. How time passes so quickly, and how people die no matter how much they try to live. So as she remembered all the people who had betrayed her and the cruelty of life, and how Gabriel had stood by her, she felt elated with her decision.

  So Natasha walked in to the kitchen, pricked her hand, and then snuck in to Gabriel’s room, pricked him and quickly pricked herself again in the same wound. As Gabriel woke up he realized what she had done, and could hardly believe his eyes. Then she walked to the kitchen, and he followed. Then Gabriel asked “what did you do?” Then Natasha responded “I made sure that I would never lose you.” Then Gabriel hugged her, and they kissed.

  After infection, the years passed happily. Natasha felt proud and satisfied with her disease because it reminded her of how much she loved Gabriel. After seven years Gabriel started getting sick. So Natasha, convinced him to commit suicide with her instead of suffer through AIDS. She said “my grandfather said the best way to die is through ice.” Then Gabriel responded that they would travel to Canada, and drown together from hypothermia.

  A week later they drowned and then they became part of the ice as winter froze over them and their love. Some would pay a lot of money for a mausoleum, and embalming, but nature had given their love a mausoleum; at least for half a year.