Katwalk

by Maria Murnane

  “It’s no big deal. People say stupid things when they’re drunk. Why do you think I don’t drink much anymore? Believe me, I’ve put my foot in my mouth many a time.”

  She peeked out at him from between her fingers. “I still feel like a horrible person.”

  He smiled. “Please. You’re hardly a horrible person. We all do things we regret sometimes.”

  She flinched. She knew he was talking about more than just how she’d treated him. She couldn’t remember exactly what she’d said about Reid, but she knew it was enough. Justin was no dummy.

  She decided to nudge the conversation in another direction.

  “Thanks for being so understanding. And Shana told me about your wife. I’m so sorry, Justin.”

  “Thanks. I’ll be fine. I’m . . . dealing with it.”

  “Has it, um, been a long time since . . . ?” She wondered again why he was still wearing his wedding ring but thought it would be impolite to ask.

  “Since she left me?”

  Katrina nodded slightly. Was that a rude question to ask? The last thing she wanted was to come across as rude when she’d come to make amends.

  “It’ll be six months next week.” He cleared his throat. “So how’s the head feeling today?”

  He clearly wanted to change the subject, so she dropped it. “Oh my gosh, you have no idea. I never knew what a true hangover was before I woke up this morning. I thought I was going to die.” She pressed her palms against her temples.

  “I know the feeling—that’s why I do all I can to avoid it.”

  “I’ve learned my lesson. Never again.”

  He gestured around the room. “So what do you think? It’s bigger than the one in the East Village, but I like to think it has the same vibe.”

  “I love it. Hey, that reminds me. I keep forgetting to ask you about the name of this place.”

  “Ask me what?”

  “Peter said you intentionally have no signage and gave it a generic name. Is that true?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Why?”

  “I want people to name it themselves, depending on how it fits into their lives.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “What do you call it?”

  “The coffeehouse.”

  “Exactly. A lot of people refer to it as the scone place.”

  “They do? Really?”

  He nodded. “And I’ve noticed older people tend to call it the coffee shop, not the coffeehouse. A small difference, but notable in its consistency.”

  “Interesting.”

  “I think so too. A lot of the college students in this neighborhood call it the breakfast sandwich place. It’s all about people seeing what they want to see, sort of a blank canvas they can paint on themselves.” He pointed at the chalkboard behind the cash register. “Speaking of breakfast sandwiches, what can I get you for that hangover? The egg sandwich and grilled cheese are both favorites with the postparty crowd. Unless you’re going back to your usual?”

  She tapped a finger against her chin. “I think it’s definitely time for something new.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  “Well, hello there. Aren’t you looking lovely for a Sunday afternoon? I’m digging that scarf-jewelry combination you’ve got going on.” Brittany made a figure eight with her index finger.

  Katrina adjusted the slim swath of silk, this one a dark green, then lightly touched the silver hoop earrings Grace had recently given her in exchange for a painting she’d done of the High Line above a sea of taxicabs. After apologizing to Justin, she’d spent a good chunk of the afternoon at the Met, then chatted on the phone with Deb on the way home to shower and change before meeting up with Brittany for an early drink.

  She’d been tempted to cancel, given how wrecked she still felt from the night before, but she knew there was a good chance this would be the last time she’d get to see Brittany before her time in New York came to an end. She’d briefly considered suggesting some kind of meeting place other than a bar, but since she wasn’t familiar with the area where Brittany lived, she’d just deferred to her.

  She smiled. “Thanks, Brittany. You look great too, although you always do. I wish I had your style.”

  “Ha. You should see me in the morning. Trust me, it ain’t pretty. So how have you enjoyed your time in New York? Have a seat and tell me all about what you’ve been up to in the past few weeks.” Brittany patted the empty bar stool next to her.

  “I’ve got to say, New York has been—”

  “Wait, hold that thought.” Brittany held up a finger, then turned to flag down the bartender. “Excuse me, kind sir. Can you please bring over a glass of sangria for my friend here?”

  Katrina shook her head. “I’m okay with just a soda tonight.”

  “Are you sure? The sangria here is to die for.”

  “Thanks, but I’m sure. Could you order me a Sprite, please? I’m just going to run to the ladies’ room.”

  Brittany turned toward the bartender. “Did you hear that, hon?”

  He winked at her. “Got it.”

  “Have you slept with him too?” Katrina whispered to Brittany.

  “Not yet,” Brittany whispered back. “Yet being the operative word.”

  When Katrina returned to the bar a few minutes later, Brittany tapped the empty stool next to her. “Now fill me in. What have you been up to since I last saw you?”

  Katrina gave her a weary smile. “I’ve done a ridiculous amount of sightseeing, as you can imagine. It’s been sort of exhausting, actually. Somehow I still have a ton of things to check off my list, which only seems to get longer every day.”

  Brittany rolled her eyes. “Sightseeing is boring. Making lists is boring. Please tell me you’ve been doing more than that.”

  “I have. I’ve been painting some, and I’ve also been taking yoga classes.” She stiffened slightly. And kissing married men.

  Brittany smiled. “Good for you! Very New York of you. So are you loving it here? Aren’t you so glad you came?”

  “Yes. And I am. It just hasn’t exactly been . . . what I expected.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Katrina shifted on the stool and frowned. All afternoon she’d debated whether or not to tell Brittany about Reid, and finally, she’d decided it was best for Brittany to hear it from her. “Well, it’s just that something . . . something sort of happened with Reid.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Katrina took a deep breath. “I mean . . . he hit on me.”

  “Of course he did.” The look in Brittany’s eyes was matter-of-fact.

  “No, I mean, he tried to sleep with me.”

  “So?”

  Katrina’s jaw dropped. “You’re not surprised?”

  Brittany shook her head. “Not at all. Why do you think I asked him to come meet us at Super Linda that night?”

  “What are you saying?”

  Brittany took a sip of her sangria. “I’m saying that it was clear you were in need of some attention of the male persuasion, so I hooked you up.”

  “You planned that?”

  Brittany gave her a strange look. “Am I not being clear enough? Yes, I teed one up for you. Reid is hot. I thought you’d want to hit that for sure.”

  “But why would you think . . . I mean . . . he’s married.”

  “So?”

  “So?”

  Brittany took another sip of her drink. “Yes, so. What’s the big deal? I told you his deal. It’s not like he’s happily married and you’d be getting in the way of something. Believe me, he knows exactly what he’s doing.”

  “Yes, but . . .”

  “But what?”

  “But I didn’t think . . . I mean . . . I thought . . . I thought he really liked me.”

  “I’m sure
he does like you. What’s not to like?”

  “No, I mean . . . I thought he was . . . planning to leave her,” she whispered.

  Brittany choked back a laugh. “You thought he would leave his wife for you?”

  Katrina swallowed. “Not for me. But yes, I thought maybe that was in his plans. . . . He just seemed to like me so much . . . that maybe it planted a seed in his mind . . . .” She felt a small tear trickle down her cheek.

  Brittany put a hand on Katrina’s shoulder. “Oh, hon.”

  Katrina interlaced her hands in her lap and looked down. “I’m an idiot.”

  Brittany gave her a sympathetic smile. “Please. You’re hardly an idiot. You’re just like you were in the dorms: so book smart, so sweet, but as socially naïve as a country bumpkin. Didn’t you listen to a word I said about married bankers? They’re pigs.”

  Katrina wiped away a tear. “I heard you. I did . . . but I guess I just thought . . .” She felt her head begin to ache again.

  “You thought he was different?”

  Katrina sighed, more tears forming in the corners of her eyes. She knew she was talking in circles, that her logic didn’t make sense. “He just paid so much attention to me. I’m not used to that.”

  Brittany sighed. “Listen, hon, I’m really sorry for putting you in that position. I didn’t realize you didn’t get what was happening. But can I give you a piece of advice?”

  Katrina nodded.

  “I know this may sound harsh, but you need to learn how to open your eyes, at least if you want to survive in New York.”

  Katrina forced a smile. “I’m trying.”

  Katrina took the subway to First Avenue, then called Deb on the slow walk back to her apartment. Although she’d told her all about the debacle with Reid earlier in the day, she was confused by Brittany’s advice and needed to hear her friend’s voice again.

  As the phone rang, Brittany’s words echoed in her head:

  You need to learn how to open your eyes, at least if you want to survive in New York.

  Open her eyes to what?

  Infidelity?

  Deception?

  Giving up the hope of ever finding real love?

  If that’s what opening her eyes meant, maybe coming to New York had been a mistake.

  Could that really be the case?

  “Hey,” Deb said. “I’m on my way out the door.”

  Katrina sighed. “Maybe I should just come home.”

  “What? Why?”

  “I don’t think I’m cut out for New York.”

  “Don’t think like that. You’re doing great.”

  “You’re just saying that.”

  “I’m not just saying that.”

  Katrina kicked a pebble on the sidewalk. “Maybe this mess with Reid is the universe’s way of telling me I don’t have what it takes to survive in the big city, that I should just pack my bags and go home.”

  “You’re being ridiculous.”

  “I’m afraid this place is going to eat me alive, Deb.”

  “Only if you let it. Don’t let it.”

  “Easy for you to say.”

  “Don’t be so melodramatic. We talked about this ad nauseam earlier today. So Reid’s a player. So what? Learn from it and move on. Don’t let him define your experience there. It sounds to me like you’ve met some great people. Haven’t you?”

  Katrina glanced behind her in the direction of The HorseBox, the pub she’d gone to her very first night in town. “Okay. You have a point. I have.” Shana, Grace, Josh, Justin. They were all true friends now, no doubt about it.

  “See? Screw Reid. Focus on the positive.”

  Katrina laughed weakly. “You sound like my yoga teacher.”

  “She sounds like a wise woman. And since when do you do yoga?”

  “I’ve sort of picked it up since I’ve been here.”

  “See? You are doing great there. So stop dwelling on the negative.”

  “You’re right.”

  “Of course I’m right. But I’m also late, so I’ve gotta run. Be strong, my friend.”

  “I’m trying to, I promise. And I think I know just what I need right now to help with that.”

  “A stiff drink?”

  “Ha! Hardly.”

  Katrina said good-bye to Deb and hung up the phone, then quickened her pace. If she hustled, she could make Shana’s Sunday-evening class.

  “Hi, Kat. What a nice surprise!” Shana kept her voice hushed, in keeping with yoga studio etiquette, but she was clearly delighted to see Katrina.

  “I thought I could use some exercise tonight, not to mention one of your stories.”

  “Still recovering from last night?”

  Katrina nodded. “That, and I’m feeling a little lost right now, like New York is too much for me to handle.”

  Shana put a hand on her shoulder. “This is just a rough patch. You’ll get through it.”

  “You don’t think I should pack up and go home early?”

  Shana laughed quietly. “Now that is ridiculous.” She pointed to an open spot in the front corner of the room. “We can talk after class, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  As Katrina rolled out a mat and sat down, Shana dimmed the lights and lit a candle. She inhaled deeply, then smiled at the students. “If it’s all right, tonight I’d like to ask a favor of you. I’d like each of you to share why you practice yoga, what keeps you coming back when there are so many other ways you could spend your precious free time. We have a small group, so it shouldn’t take long. This is something I’ve wanted to do for a while, not for my benefit but for yours. We all get something different from yoga, and in my opinion that’s what makes it so beautiful, so powerful. It’s the diversity of perspective that brings us all together, and that is truly special. You can keep your eyes closed, and I’ll walk around the room. When I place my hand on your head, feel free to share your thoughts with the class. If you prefer not to participate, that’s fine, and no one will know. Just remain silent, and I’ll move on to the next student.”

  Katrina tensed. What would she say when it was her turn?

  Shana stood up and lightly tapped her chest. “I’ll begin with my own reasons. I practice yoga because it makes me feel calm and centered, and I teach yoga because it brings me joy and makes me feel like I have a purpose in life.”

  She began to wander through the room, and the responses followed.

  “I love coming to yoga because it’s an escape from the chaos of my life. I love my husband and kids, but sometimes I need some time just for me.”

  “Coming to your class makes me remember how lucky I am to be healthy, and that it’s okay to have ice cream for dinner sometimes.” (Laughter)

  “Don’t judge me for saying this, but I like how it keeps my arms and butt toned.” (More laughter)

  “Yoga gives me the peace of mind to follow my own path in life, and a healthy body to do it in, although I’ll never look as good as Shana does in yoga pants.” (More laughter)

  “I never used to be able to touch my toes. I love that I can touch my toes now. Is that a silly reason?” (More laughter)

  “When I’m on a packed subway train and hating everyone around me, sometimes I close my eyes and breathe deeply, and it calms me down. I learned that here, and I love it.”

  Katrina heard footsteps approaching her, then felt the soft touch of Shana’s hand on her head. No longer so concerned about what the others would think of her answer, she smiled and spoke directly from her heart.

  “Coming to yoga class makes me feel . . . strong.”

  Shana gave Katrina’s head a gentle squeeze, then returned to the front of the class and pressed her palms together. “Thank you so much for sharing those wonderful insights with me and your fellow students. I’m grateful to have you all in my class
and in my life. Now let’s meet in downward-facing dog.”

  After class, which had been more strenuous than any Katrina had attended, she stepped outside and called Deb again while waiting for Shana to get her things together.

  “Three calls in one day? You’re starting to scare me,” Deb said. “You hanging in there?”

  “I don’t think I should come home.”

  Deb laughed. “That’s my girl. Of course you shouldn’t. I told you that like two hours ago. And three hours before that.”

  “Well, you were right.”

  “Of course I was right. I’m also about to step into a movie theater, so I’ve got to go. Talk soon?”

  “Okay. Love you.”

  “You love who?” Shana asked as she walked out of the studio.

  “Oh, that was my friend Deb from home.”

  “The one who was supposed to come here with you?”

  Katrina nodded.

  “You’re feeling a little homesick?”

  “I don’t know if homesick is the right word. More . . . out of sorts.”

  “Well, in my humble opinion, leaving for good isn’t the answer. But maybe leaving for just a couple days wouldn’t be such a bad idea. It might help you clear your head. There are tons of cute places to visit around here.”

  Katrina raised her eyebrows. That wasn’t such a bad idea. Having tackled New York, the prospect of a couple of days alone somewhere didn’t faze her a bit.

  The realization delighted her.

  “Where do you think I should go?”

  Shana put a finger on her chin. “Hmm . . . maybe the Hamptons? High season is over now, so it shouldn’t be too hard to find a place to stay.”

  “You think so? I’ve always heard how swanky the Hamptons are. You don’t think they’d be too flashy for me?”

  “East Hampton is sort of glitzy, but not Southampton. It’s super quaint, and even though things will be winding down, there should be a decent number of people still out there. You should totally go.”

  “Is it far? Would I need to rent a car?”

  Shana shook her head. “Take the Jitney. There’s a stop not too far from our building. It only takes a couple of hours.”