Hard Luck Hank: Basketful of Crap

by Steven Campbell

  “What the hell is going on down there?” he barked.

  “I was hoping you knew. Did you jam our teles?”

  “Of course not. We don’t have the authority.”

  That meant the corporation did it somehow. This was even more frightening because it meant their resources were vaster than I had realized—which was saying quite a bit.

  “Are you able to secure our telescopes?” he asked.

  “Who?”

  “You!”

  “Me? How would I be able to do that?”

  “So you are conceding that vital Navy property is at risk and there is no recourse available on that station to ensure its security?”

  I got the sense that that was not a casual question.

  While I had no love for the corporation, I was concerned what would happen if the Navy decided to get serious. At the very least they would invade us, bringing them into direct conflict with the corporation, and that could very well destroy the city.

  “Just wait a minute,” I said. “The corporations have been stockpiling weapons. Maybe even strategic weapons. They have also scared away or killed anyone capable of fighting them. Can you think of why they would want to do that?”

  Without missing a beat he answered.

  “Clearly it is an uprising to throw off the mantle of the Confederation completely.”

  “So like become our own country?”

  He almost chewed his tele.

  “Obviously.”

  There were planets that were their own countries, but nothing as miniscule as a space station. It made some sense that’s what they were doing with the Portals. They could trade without relying on the Navy’s Portals and it could be at any rates they want and any goods they wanted.

  While it was theoretically true that Belvaille was an illegal haven, we still had to ship goods to the Colmarian Confederation. That meant at some point it had to touch Colmarian soil and be subject to Colmarian laws.

  And I guess all this military equipment was to protect them from the Navy and get rid of all the troublemakers already here. Using the biological soldiers meant they could flush them away and not worry about casualties.

  It was all a bit much for me to digest.

  “Do you still want me to find your disintegrator?” I asked.

  “You signed the contract!”

  I wonder if Belvaille becoming its own country would get me out of all these dumb contracts I signed. I should talk to a lawyer.

  “I’ll get on it. I have some good leads,” I lied.

  “What leads?” he asked suspiciously.

  “I don’t want to talk over the tele. If you guys didn’t jam us, then the corporation did, and they might be listening.”

  The General’s eyes bugged.

  “We’ll send you a secure communication device as soon as possible,” he almost whispered.

  “Good. Until then, let’s maintain communication blackout.”

  He hung up without agreeing. But that was a general’s way of agreeing.

  I needed to get some concrete information on what was going on before the Navy attacked the station and brought it back into the loving arms of the Confederation.

  CHAPTER 53

  First things first. I visited Ioshiyn.

  “How much for those special boots?” I asked. I was tired of my feet getting shot to pieces. I could handle my arm stiffening or even my lungs—a bit—but if I couldn’t walk I wasn’t going to be very intimidating, and that was my only job skill.

  “Hank,” Ioshiyn exclaimed. He seemed pretty surprised to see me. And no wonder. I had led a disastrous assault that had killed a significant number of the city’s entire population.

  “Being barefoot has lost its appeal,” I said.

  “I can give them to you for five grand. It will take about a week to make them,” he said. “I’m looking to get out of Belvaille and I’m not interested in haggling.”

  “I believe ten grand was the price and that’s what I’ll pay. But I need them faster than that. The money came from the corporation so I don’t mind giving it away.”

  We made the transaction and he took measurements. He recommended they be boots that fastened in the back of my leg because I’d probably get shot from the front. He also recommended laces because you could replace those easily.

  From there I headed back to my block and went up to the house Cad had been sitting in to watch the Gandrine. Nothing had changed as far as I could see.

  I had only paid Cad for the first week, and while it was a decent amount of money, I still didn’t believe he ran off with it. He didn’t join me in the fight—or at least he wasn’t on the list. The only thing I could think of was he was killed following the Gandrine.

  That being the case, it seemed a bad idea to repeat his steps, but from what Rendrae said, it might give me more information about what the corporation was doing.

  I didn’t want to sit in this room so I went up the street and sat on the stairs just five buildings down from the Gandrine. I looked exactly like them except they were looking at the building across the street and I was looking at them.

  Two hours later I started calling the widows of my soldiers. It was the one piece of information we collected during recruiting: next of kin. It was not an easy task, but I had to do it sooner or later. After the first few dozen, I became somewhat robotic in my answers and delivery. “It is with a heavy heart that I,” blah blah.

  For the most part they took it on the chin. These were not women—or men—who were soft. If they lived on Belvaille they knew tough times.

  There was almost no crying and no one cursed at me. The most they asked was how they died, and I couldn’t answer that because I had been busy trying to save my own skin.

  I offered the other half of the soldier’s fee to those who would take it.

  No one refused.

  Five hours of this and two orders of take-out and four trips to the bathroom and I was tired. You’d think it would be easy sitting on a porch, but it was hard work.

  I was about to call it a night when I heard one of the Gandrine yell something. They were not quiet guys when they talked, but I was too far away to hear clearly.

  Whatever it was, they both stood up and began walking.

  I jumped into action and hid behind the railing to watch them go.

  Five minutes later and they had managed to get off the porch.

  I snuck across the street to hide in the doorway to see them better.

  But you can only stay tensed for so long. After an hour I was casually leaning against the doorway and thinking of ordering more food. I could also go inside my place and get my autocannon. But I didn’t feel like carrying it for hours. And I doubted if I shot a Gandrine he would be concerned. Maybe an armor piercing round would hurt.

  After an hour they were still on my block and I was pretty certain Cad had died of acute boredom. Either that or alcohol poisoning to combat said boredom.

  I wanted to yell at them to hurry up but felt that wasn’t a good tactic since I was trying to tail them in secret.

  After they moved a certain distance, I would go to the next house and sit on the stairs just like I had before. Then wait. There were all kinds of things I was thinking about. When would my boots be done? Should I go back to my apartment and get some food? What would Gandrine slow dancing look like?

  After two blocks, I decided to go back to my place, get a thermos of coffee, some pillows, and some rations to eat. I could use the bathrooms of the apartments we “walked” past.

  I caught up to them easily, made myself comfortable and had some coffee. I figure I could time how fast they were going and maybe get a little sleep. There was absolutely nothing for at least ten blocks in any direction and I could probably sleep a few hours relatively safely.

  However, I decided to maintain my vigil, because knowing my luck as soon as I dozed off they would go sprinting down the street doing backflips.

  I had just repositioned myself at the next h
ouse when I heard the roar of an engine.

  I ducked into the doorway and saw a heavy lifter pull around the corner. It was a tracked one used to haul Belvaille’s larger machinery. Monolithically slow, it was still orders of magnitude faster than a Gandrine.

  I figured I could keep pace with the vehicle if it was going to pick them up and drive them.

  They indeed stepped onto the platform and the heavy lifter raised them off the ground. It then turned and continued the journey up the street, its treads squeaking and grinding.

  Leaving my pillows behind, I headed after them in hot pursuit.

  It was not difficult to stay behind them, but after twenty blocks I began to get tired. We passed several train depots but the problem was I didn’t know where they were headed.

  We were past the middle point of the city, headed south, and I was extremely tired. My body was just not designed for running. Or endurance. Or stalking prey.

  As I puffed a full block behind the vehicle I wondered if I could simply hitch a ride. It was a huge transport. If I missed that ladder, or slipped off, I would get ground to a pulp underneath the treads. No amount of mutation would save me from that.

  I decided to play it safe and keep limping after them.

  We were deep in the southwest. There was nothing out here. Not that I knew.

  The lifter was now four blocks away and getting further. I was slowing down. I could still see it, so I didn’t mind. And presumably the Gandrine would have to get off at some point and that would take some time.

  I crossed an intersection and froze.

  There were two machine gun emplacements with about twenty corporation soldiers and an APC sitting there!

  They were a collection of all the corporate emblems I had ever seen and some I had not. They were not even pretending to be unique entities anymore.

  But as Garm had told me, they didn’t care about my presence.

  I gave a small wave, waiting for a response. They didn’t even turn their heads.

  I warily crossed the street, wondering what I would do if they attacked, since I hadn’t bothered to bring my autocannon.

  When I was safely across and out of view, I hurried after the Gandrine.

  I passed numerous more soldiers and vehicles, including what Delovoa had called a fighting vehicle.

  Finally I saw the lifter was getting closer. I sped up as best I could, but I was truly exhausted. I’m glad no one witnessed that I was slower than a heavy lifter.

  When I got within a few blocks I saw the Gandrine had stepped off. I also saw an enormous set of machinery in the distance.

  Belvaille had a lot of big equipment on it. Stuff at the port. The telescopes. The latticework. But nothing of this size was in the southwest. This was all residential area, uninhabited for the most part.

  There were twin pylons that were so tall I couldn’t tell how far from the latticework they reached. They stretched hundreds of feet in the air, maybe a thousand. They were several blocks apart from each other.

  The heavy lifter began to turn around and I hid in a building. It drove past and I took that opportunity to sneak up the street and get a closer look.

  There were no soldiers here. No vehicles. Just a ton—or more like a lot of tons—of very complicated instruments and two Gandrine. The Gandrine seemed to be working the equipment.

  Had they built all this? It seemed impossible. At Gandrine speed it would have taken a century. And no ladder could hoist them up that high to work on those pylons.

  I stood there for an hour.

  Then I sat there for three hours.

  Then I was thinking I should just go up and ask what they’re doing.

  ZHOOM!

  My hair stood up and my eyes almost burnt out of their sockets! A huge light burst forth from down the block.

  I felt a tremendous force pulling on me and grabbed hold of the building. I was being turned inside-out! I shielded my face as best I could while still maintaining my grip.

  There was a terrific roar as if I was standing in the center of a tornado. The sound died abruptly and the light no longer burned.

  I took a chance and turned to see what was happening.

  It was Wallow!

  A Therezian stepped through what was obviously a Portal. He was naked.

  My eyes cleared a bit and I knew it wasn’t Wallow. Wallow always looked angry. And this one seemed to be somewhat bored by the process. It was another Therezian!

  Belvaille had two Therezians on it!

  Two out of a thousand available in the whole galaxy.

  ZHOOM!

  “Ack!” I said, not prepared to get blinded again.

  I held on to the building and waited for it to pass. Was he going back? Did he just come through to say hello? Or maybe he realized what a lousy city this was and left.

  When I looked again, I almost fainted.

  Another Therezian had walked through!

  But this one made Wallow look like a child. It was almost impossible to tell his height because I had no scale except buildings and he towered over them. I would guess he was somewhere shy of a hundred feet tall! Was that like the king of the Therezians?

  How big were they?

  The two of them walked down the street towards me but didn’t move much further.

  The tall one bumped into a building with his foot and the building dented like it was cardboard.

  Neither of them looked down, they kept their gaze at eye level. As if nothing of import could be less than thirty feet tall.

  ZHOOM!

  I held on for dear life again and when it passed there was yet another Therezian!

  He was somewhere between the size of the first and second and looked equally disinterested in walking through space-time.

  The pylons let out an enormous cloud of smoke or steam and they sizzled.

  I had learned everything I cared to learn and got out of that area of the city as quickly as possible.

  After five blocks I hopped a train and headed home.

  As the train sped away I looked through the windows and could still see the awesome sight of the lumbering Therezians in the distance.

  CHAPTER 54

  “Wow,” Delovoa said.

  I stood with Garm and Delovoa on the roof of a building about fifteen blocks from the Portal. There were now five Therezians raised like monuments in the distance.

  “So it’s the Gandrine doing it?” Garm asked.

  “Yeah. But there’s no way they built the Portal. It’s huge.”

  “I take it they’re the only ones who could survive being so close to it.”

  “I almost got turned inside-out being down the street,” I said. “I wonder if they’re naked because their clothes are destroyed coming through.”

  “No,” Delovoa said. “Inanimate objects are shipped all the time through Portals. I think those guys are from their home world. They don’t wear clothes there. They don’t need them.”

  “The planet Thereze is blockaded by all the empires,” Garm argued. “You’re saying someone set up a Portal on their home world and are marching Therezians through?”

  Delovoa shrugged.

  “There’s only a thousand off-world Therezians in the whole galaxy. Everyone knows what an incredible fluke it is to have Wallow here—and everyone knows where the other 999 currently are. It’s not as if they can hide.”

  “I saw them come through right after each other,” I said.

  “Which again makes it sound like they were going through one Portal located at one place.”

  “Such as on Thereze,” Garm finished.

  We all pondered this.

  “They don’t have genitalia,” Delovoa mentioned.

  “Why does that matter?” I asked.

  “Matters to them. How do they make babies?”

  “What do we do?” Garm asked.

  “There’s five new Therezians here and maybe more on the way,” Delovoa started. “To say something is going on is an understatement. I talked
about breaking galactic treaties before, but if the corporation has really taken inhabitants from Thereze, this station will be attacked and destroyed by any number of empires. Why would the corporation risk intergalactic condemnation bringing them here?”

  “Can you contact the corporation, Hank?” Garm asked nonsensically.

  “What? They tried to slaughter me and everyone I knew. We’re not exactly on good terms.”

  “No offense, but I don’t think they tried to kill you or they would have. I think they wanted to use you—which they did. Repeatedly,” she said. “Maybe you can get an idea what they’re up to.”

  “If they really want to get rid of all potential resistance, that would include me.”

  Garm kept trying to plead her case.

  “You said you walked past a bunch of soldiers and their vehicles on the way to the Portal and they did nothing. If there was any area they were going to protect, it would be that.”

  “I think I’m going to tell the General,” I said.

  “Why?” Garm demanded. “You just heard what Delovoa said. You’ll force him to attack us.”

  “Do you think we’re going to stop five Therezians, two Gandrine, and a corporation with more tanks and soldiers than we can count? The three of us? And before you answer, I would like to point out that Delovoa has never been in a fight.”

  “Not that I’ve won,” Delovoa amended.

  “If anyone has a chance of doing anything it’s the Navy. They got warships out there.”

  “Exactly, and they’re going to direct their guns at us,” Garm said.

  “I don’t believe that. The Navy still wants to use the telescopes. This base is valuable to them. They got a disintegrator here someplace and they probably want to know what the corporation is doing even more than we do. If I learned anything from my gang days it’s you take your friends as you can get them. The General and I have a history of working together,” I said.

  Upon reflection:

  “Sort of.”

  CHAPTER 55

  “Did you see the new Therezians?” Ioshiyn asked.

  “No, I totally missed five seventy-five foot giants tripping over buildings,” I said.

  “I thought there were eight of them.”