The Kill Society

by Richard Kadrey

  “Try it,” says the Magistrate.

  I bend down, and when I hold the sword out straight, it fits perfectly into place.

  Big smiles all around, but they don’t last long. The tree fuckers are shuffling down the hills and the crossroads.

  I slam the breech shut and lock it into place. There’s a lever on the Magistrate’s side.

  I nod to it.

  “Do it.”

  Grinning like a school kid on a snow day, he grabs the lever and pulls.

  Exactly nothing happens. No boom. No shudder. An absolute zero.

  “Try it again,” I shout.

  He pulls again and it’s the same big nothing.

  He says, “You must have put it in wrong.”

  “Let’s see.”

  I open the breech and pull out the sword. Halfway out, it snaps and falls to the flatbed in pieces. I pick up one of the shards.

  “It’s wood. It’s wood painted gold.”

  “That cannot be,” says the Magistrate.

  He reaches for some of the splinters, but I push him away.

  The dead are just about on us. I climb on top of the gun.

  “If you’re alive, duck, motherfuckers!”

  I start screaming Hellion hoodoo as loud and fast as I can in every direction.

  The first couple of hexes knock the forward wave of skeletons down, but the ones behind climb over like a swarm of rats. I keep shouting, going easy on the hexes until the last of Wanuri’s people are clear. When they are, the skeletons are right on us. Now I shout the rough stuff. The kind of hoodoo I used out on the river. I turn the air around the dead into fire until the road and hillsides are a solid carpet of flames. Some of the dead keep coming, but they’re slower than before. With each step they fall apart piece by piece and are easy for the havoc to take down.

  I climb down off the gun and stand with the others, breathing hard. While they scan the road for any dead bastards out for a stroll, I look up at the sky. No flashes up there anymore. Whatever was happening is over. I get out the amber knife and wait to see who comes back.

  A moment later Alice and Vehuel slam to the ground a few feet behind us. I jump down and run to them, grabbing Alice in a big hug when I get her. She hugs me back, but more of her attention is on Vehuel. I look over, and see why. There’s a hole you could put a fist in over her heart.

  “What the hell happened over there?” I say.

  “Johel and Phanuel were traitors,” says Alice. “Some of the officers have been going over to them for some time. I guess even a few generals.”

  Traven stands nearby and looks over my shoulder.

  He says, “Is there anything we can do for her?”

  Alice holds her boss’s bloody hand.

  “I don’t know.”

  Vehuel opens her eyes.

  “Did you try to fire the weapon?” she says.

  “Yeah. It didn’t work.”

  “Yes, it did. It worked perfectly.”

  I look at the Magistrate, Raziel fucking archangel in disguise.

  I say, “It was a test.”

  Vehuel touches my arm, and between Alice and me, we’re able to pull her upright.

  “Yes. A test. For us, the generals, and for the damned and fallen who might want such a weapon for themselves.”

  The Magistrate holds a piece of the golden wood in his hand.

  “I do not understand. Why would you come all this way just to test us? If you had not appeared, we might never have found the Lux Occisor, which would render our crusade pointless. But you brought us here. Why?”

  “To test you, too, Raziel,” says Vehuel. “And you failed.”

  Hearing his real name does not put the Magistrate in a good mood. He grips the wood harder.

  “Careful,” says Vehuel. “The wood is made from Neshiyyah Bane, the Hellion Tree of Life. Deadly to angels. Touch any part of the Lux Occisor other than the gold and you will see for yourself.”

  He stares at the wood, holding it carefully in his long fingers, and stands up. He looks down at Vehuel.

  “Test me you might,” he says. “But I am still here while you will soon be gone.”

  Daja doesn’t seem to even register the threat. Instead, she says, “Who’s Raziel? Why is she calling you that?”

  “It’s father of the year’s real name,” I tell her. “He’s an angel. An archangel, in fact. Only he snuck out the back door. Now he’s looking to kill both God and Lucifer.” I go to her. “And he was using saps like you and the havoc to get the only thing he wanted. The Light Killer.”

  The Magistrate comes around Vehuel and stands by me and Alice.

  “Tell me I am wrong, Mr. Sandman Slim,” he says. “I admit I did not recognize you at first. A dirty wretch lost in the desert with a mad story about Death. But when I did, I knew we were kindred spirits. You spent years in Hell killing Lucifer’s generals. Even when you were Lucifer, you kept Hell at bay. You convinced the Almighty to open Heaven’s gates, but he was too weak. I am not. You are not. God and Lucifer are one entity now. If we destroy one, we destroy the other. Imagine it. A universe without rulers. Where each soul and celestial is free to chart their own destiny. Admit it. Does that not sound like an idea you could have had?”

  I shake my head.

  “And I thought Samael had daddy issues, but they could do a whole college course about yours.”

  “It’s true, then, Magistrate,” says Daja. “You’ve lied to me and everyone else this whole time.”

  “Quiet, child. There are things you do not understand. I am doing this for your benefit as much as mine.”

  “A few minutes ago you said the havoc didn’t matter! That they could all die and it would mean nothing to you. Were you serious?”

  “Of course he was,” I say. “And he meant you, too, by the way. I’m sure you’re a nice pet to have around, but sooner or later he’s going to get bored with your questions or your neediness. Then off to Tartarus you’ll go. Right, Raziel?”

  Angels are fast, but archangels are fucking fast. The next thing I know he’s pulled Alice to her feet and is holding the wood from the Light Killer to her throat.

  “Empty your pockets,” he says. “I know that you did not spend a week in the wilderness just to come back with a false promise and a cigarette lighter. Death gave you something else. Give it to me. The great weapon may be a lie, but my crusade continues. I will destroy the despot who rules the universe.”

  “Don’t listen, Jim. Please,” she says.

  I look at her. She’s not afraid at all. She really is a warrior and is ready to die for her cause. The problem is, I’m not ready to sacrifice her for it.

  “I know what you want. Death’s knife. Let her go and you can have it.”

  “Are you mad?” says Vehuel. “He will kill us all and then storm Heaven. With Death’s weapon he will be unstoppable.”

  I shrug.

  “You people should have thought of that before you made the knife. And before you let assholes like this walk free. You tested him? You should have killed him the moment you laid eyes on him.”

  “That’s not the Almighty’s way.”

  “Well, it’s mine, and if I ever see this prick again I’m going to rip his head off.”

  “The knife please,” says Raziel. “My patience is not infinite.”

  I reach into my coat pocket and slowly take out the amber blade.

  “Lovely,” says the Magistrate. “Now set it on the ground between us.”

  I drop it in the dirt.

  Vehuel lies back down, rubs her eyes with the heels of her hands.

  “You fool. You have doomed Creation.”

  “Fuck Creation. Your kind broke it a long time ago and now you’re blaming me for taking care of one of the few people I ever cared about?”

  “Don’t do it, Jim. Take it back,” says Alice.

  “I can’t let you be murdered twice.”

  “Enough,” says Raziel. “Move back and take Vehuel with you. Once I have th
e amber knife, you may have your little angel back. Of course, you might find that her opinion of you has changed.”

  “I don’t think so. We are who we are. Isn’t that right, Alice?”

  “That’s right,” she says, and closes her eyes.

  Raziel says, “For one last time. Move back.”

  “No.”

  I raise my boot and slam the heel down on the knife, shattering it into a million pieces.

  “What have you done?” he yells. But that’s the last thing he manages to bleat out of his smug face.

  Raziel lets go of Alice and collapses to his knees. The piece of wood falls from his hand. As he goes down, I see Cherry behind him. She’s trembling. I get it now. She stabbed the bastard in the back with a piece of the killer wood before I even had a chance to move. I wonder how long she’d been planning on killing him? It took her long enough.

  Alice is on the ground next to her boss.

  “Are you mad?” Vehuel says. “Out of sentimentality you destroyed Death’s weapon? Do you know what this means?”

  “That if I destroy nine more I get a free sandwich?”

  “Without death, mortal life has no meaning. I know that seems cruel, but endless, pointless life is a true Hell. And you have brought it on all of your own people.”

  “No I didn’t.”

  I pick up the amber knife. It’s in one piece.

  “But I saw you crush it.”

  “I’m half angel, remember? If I can’t do hoodoo that will trick another angel, then what am I good for?”

  Alice swats my leg.

  “You idiot. What if it hadn’t worked?”

  “I knew it would. Come on, now. You knew what I was doing.”

  “You’re insane. I had no idea at all.”

  “See? I fooled her, too, and she’s known me a lot longer than you halo polishers.”

  Slowly, Raziel’s body fades and soon it’s gone.

  “Is he dead?” says Daja.

  “Yeah. Sorry.”

  Wanuri puts an arm around her and Daja starts to cry.

  Cherry stands with her arms wrapped around herself. She looks like she just saw a ghost, a unicorn, and Hello Kitty having a three-way in a clown car and they didn’t invite her.

  I walk over.

  “Nice trick,” I say.

  “You’re welcome,” she says a little absently. “Is killing someone always like this?”

  “Just the first couple of times. After that it’s like folding socks. But that’s just me.”

  She takes a couple of breaths and blinks, getting herself together.

  “Okay. Wow. That wasn’t what I expected it to be.”

  “Maybe you ought to sit down.”

  “I’d like that. Can we go somewhere and talk for a minute?”

  “Sure.”

  I take her around the side of the flatbeds where no one can see us.

  “If you want to throw up or something, it’s okay. Everyone’s first kill is rough.”

  “No. I’m okay,” she says. “That’s not what I wanted to talk about.”

  “Say what you have to say, but no stupid ‘let’s fuck’ lines. I’m sick of that.”

  She looks around, making sure we’re alone.

  “I helped you, right?”

  “I just said so.”

  “That means you owe me.”

  Great. Where is this going?

  “Maybe. What do you want?”

  “I don’t want anything. I want to help you some more. I can save you. Don’t you want to go home?”

  I get a really bad feeling in my gut and it’s not from being hungry.

  “Just say what you want to say, Cherry.”

  “All I’ve wanted to do is help you, ever since you got here. I mean, I was surprised as anyone when I saw you, but then I told them and they said it was okay.”

  “Who did you tell?”

  She hesitates. Balls and unballs her fists.

  “I don’t want to say it. But you know.”

  “Then I’ll say it for you. Wormwood.”

  “Yes.”

  Oh, Cherry. How many bad decisions can you make in one life- or death-time? I want to snap her neck. I want to find more of those tree shamblers and feed her to them. But she did save us, fucked-up motives aside, so I just talk.

  “That angel attack. The town full of Legionnaires. Those ships on the river. You were telling Wormwood where we were and where we were going.”

  “Of course. That’s the first thing they wanted to know.”

  “All those breakdowns along the road. Were those you, too?”

  “Some,” she says like I caught her stealing from the collection plate. “They wanted us to go slower so they could keep an eye on things.”

  “You know, a lot of people died along the way because of your bullshit. All those pathetic souls in those little towns.”

  “But you didn’t. I always made sure you were safe.”

  “Because Wormwood told you to.”

  “Yes. But for me, too. I don’t want to be alone again.”

  “Of course.”

  Her face gets hard.

  “Fuck you, Jimmy. Don’t talk to me like that, like I’m one of those bar girls you used to con into buying you drinks. You let me die, but I saved your ass a dozen times down here. Don’t forget that.”

  “And you murdered a hundred people and made Wormwood a fortune. So don’t try to guilt me into anything.” Something nags at me. “Why do they even care about me anymore?”

  “That’s the thing. They care a lot. Hell needs to change, just like you say. But not too much. Just enough.”

  “Just enough so they can keep making money off the war. Day-trading on damnation futures. What else?”

  “I don’t know. But when they heard you were here, they knew you could mess up their plan. Now, though, now that you can’t leave, they can make things easier for you.”

  I turn and go. It’s the only way to keep from wringing her neck. Cherry grabs me from behind.

  “Don’t walk away from me. I don’t want to be alone down here and neither do you. You think Alice is going to stay in this pigsty with you? She’s got her wings, and the moment Heaven calls, she’s going home. I like you, Jimmy. We need to stick together. Wormwood can set us up nice.”

  I turn and look at her hard. She stands her ground.

  “You helped with Raziel, so I’m not going to kill you. But that’s the best I can do for you. Good-bye, Cherry.”

  I head back to where Alice and the others are waiting. I only get a few steps when I hear the distinctive sound of the hammer being pulled back on a revolver. I turn around. Cherry is pointing a very shiny Colt Python at me.

  “I swear to God I will, Jimmy. Wormwood will cut me off if you walk away. I can’t be alone down here anymore. You don’t know what it’s like.”

  “Yeah. I do. I know exactly what it’s like.”

  I head back to the others.

  “I’ll do it. Take one more step.”

  I look at her again. Crane my neck a little to get a better angle.

  “Cherry. There are no bullets in that gun.”

  Her hands start to shake like the Python suddenly gained fifty pounds.

  She says, “I’m doomed, you know. They’re going to kill me. What am I supposed to do?”

  “First off, when you’re bluffing somebody with an empty gun, don’t use a revolver. As for the other stuff, good luck and fuck off.”

  I leave her there and go back to the others.

  “What was that about?” says Traven.

  “Nothing. Just saying good-bye to an old acquaintance.”

  Alice is holding Vehuel up.

  “How is she?” I ask.

  “Bad. She wants to talk to you.”

  Normally, an angel should already be healing by now. The fact Vehuel isn’t is a bad sign. I kneel down beside her.

  “Shouldn’t you be getting up? Mr. Muninn is probably holding dinner for you.”

  S
he smiles a little. Shakes her head.

  “Alice will make my apologies for me.”

  Alice’s hands and armor are stained with Vehuel’s blood.

  “What can I do to help you?”

  “Since when does Sandman Slim help angels?” Vehuel says.

  “I’m not helping an angel. I’m helping Alice’s friend, so shut up with the halo stuff.”

  Alice says, “Listen to her, Jim.”

  “I am.”

  “No. The ‘shut up and listen’ kind of listening.”

  “Right.”

  “I was here to test you, too,” says Vehuel.

  “Yeah? How’d I do?”

  “Even with all your anger, you didn’t want the Lux Occisor for yourself.”

  “I didn’t need it. The na’at is a sword.”

  “Hush,” says Alice.

  “Right.”

  “But your na’at is gone,” says Vehuel. “And you didn’t sacrifice Death’s blade even for someone you loved.”

  “If the trick didn’t work, I would have.”

  “So you say now. The important thing is that God has a message for you. Are you ready to hear it?”

  Nothing good has ever come from anything that begins with “God has a message for you.”

  “Sure.”

  “He invites you to join him in Heaven, as a warrior or simply a resident. He also says that you know he could compel you to come, but he won’t do that. You may come to the golden city with us right now, but it must be your choice.”

  “Free will. It always comes down to free will, doesn’t it?”

  “Always.”

  This isn’t what I was expecting to hear. I was ready for more of a “Thanks for not killing too many of the wrong people, now keep the hell out of the way, the grown-ups have work to do.”

  I look over at Traven and the remains of the dog pack.

  “Tell Mr. Muninn thanks, but I’ll stay Downtown.”

  “Jim. No,” says Alice. “What are you trying to prove anymore? And don’t start in on the Abomination bullshit. If God doesn’t care, no one else will either.”

  “First off, yes they will. If I know anything about angels, it’s that they’re a snooty bunch. Present company excepted.”

  “Thank you,” says Vehuel.

  I look at Alice.

  “Second, I know that you’re all right. They like you up there and you can kick angel ass. That’s about as good as it gets. But third, there’s people down here who deserve better.”