The Masks We Wear: High School Bully Romance (Emerald Falls Series Book 1)

by Lee Jacquot

  When people show you who they truly are, believe them.

  “So what are you going to do?” William’s large frame hops from my chair, leaving it spinning behind him. He’s only an inch or two taller than me and is bulky where I’m lean.

  “Any parties happening this weekend?” He sinks into my bed, propping a hand behind his head, and pulls a thick curl out straight to examine it. “Let’s grab a couple of girls, or maybe a few, and have a good time.”

  I scoff, falling into the empty chair. “Yeah, at Lily’s. And there’s no fucking way I’m going there.”

  “Yes the fuck we are.” Will releases his dark coil and leans on his side. “It’s perfect, actually. After all the shit she’s done, bring out the Spencer I know. Show up, get a few girls, and let her see that bullying a guy doesn’t matter. He can still get pussy.”

  “Dude, I need a break from seeing her.”

  “We’re going.”

  “She’ll probably have someone kick us out on sight.”

  He huffs, puffing up his chest. “And we beat their ass like old times.”

  “You know I can’t.” With William, I don’t have to explain things when it comes to my mom. On too many occasions, he had to help me find her when she went on walks and didn’t come back for hours. He was actually the one to call my dad and let him know what was going on. I was hardheaded. Thinking I could carry the weight of her, school, and my future. I think part of me didn’t want to give up his real friendship and come back to the one that broke me in two.

  “How is Ms. Hanes?”

  I shrug, rubbing the spot above my shirt pocket. “Her and my dad are visiting some places this weekend. Where she might be more comfortable.” That last part is a whisper.

  Williams’ lips form a thin line. “I’m sorry, man.”

  I shake my head. “It’s just...one day, she won’t remember me at all. And I don’t want her last memory to be of me disappointing her. If that means I take Lily’s shit a little longer, so be it.”

  William nods. “Yeah, man, I get it. Alright. Well, I promise to behave if you say we can go.” He holds up two fingers pinched together. “Scout’s honor.”

  “Says the same boy who went across to the Girl Scouts camp and got a blow job.”

  “Hey! Still to this day, the best blowie of my life.”

  We erupt in laughter. A genuine, deep, fuck-the-rest-of-the-world, laughter. And for two seconds, I forget the pain digging in my side.

  “We’re outside.” I end the call and point to Remy’s driveway. I told her I was being kidnapped and dragged to a party against my will. She threatened to call off work an entire week if we didn’t pick her up too.

  She appears in seconds, and William sucks in a sharp breath. Her curvy frame is on full display under a cream sweater hanging over leggings. Tan boots grip her calves and have a heel, boosting her small height a few inches. A woven beanie sits at the back of her head, leaving her face exposed. There’s a blush overtaking her cheeks and button nose, somehow making her cuter.

  I hit Will in the shoulder before he can get any ideas. “She’s off-limits.”

  “Ugh.” He rubs his bicep, scowling but not taking his eyes off Remy. “You don’t like her, so why can’t I have some fun?”

  “Romance reader.”

  His annoyingly bright eyes flash to me. “Fuck. Yeah, hard pass.”

  Remy stops when she sees us, so I open my door, waving her over. “We took William’s truck.”

  “Yeah, I can see that. It’s huge. How in the world am I going to get in there?”

  “I’ll pull you up.”

  She walks closer, moving cautiously until she’s at my side. She looks up and sees Williams’ perfect smile next to me. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Remy’s eyes so big. “H-hi.”

  Holding out my hand, she grasps it, hoisting herself into the back seat of the truck, her gaze flicking to his too many times.

  I sigh, close the door, and make the introductions quick. “William, Remy. Remy, William.”

  “Heya, sugar. Nice to meet you.”

  It’s hard to keep my eyes from rolling. It’s like he can’t even help it—his promiscuous nature oozes from every part of him whether he wants it to or not.

  We take the ride back to my neighborhood, and I can’t seem to hear the conversation they start having. Each time we pass a stop sign that’s closer to her house my pulse increases, leaving a whooshing sound in my ears that makes my head dizzy.

  I haven’t seen her since the kiss. And after William answered a few of my spam calls, even that’s died, leaving me to think it all fucking happened in my head.

  But when we pull up, and I feel the thud of my heart in my throat, I know it didn’t. My body vibrates with the fucked-up combination of nerves, anger, and arousal. I’m beginning to think I’m going crazy. That’s what Lily’s done to me.

  Always done to me.

  Made me think things that weren’t real. Feelings, who she was... the list goes on.

  William decides to park at my house, and we walk around the end of the street, wrapping back around to Lily’s. We fall behind a group of juniors giggling and rattling off about the football game from Friday. They are all huddled close, shivering with their laughter. For the ground to be covered in snow, it always surprises me the lack of clothes people wear to these things.

  “So this is it, huh? The house of the famed Liliana.” William looks around, letting his eyes linger on a few groups of girls.

  I nod, unable to really speak. I don’t see her, but I can feel her. The heat on the side of my face is scalding, but I can’t force myself to look just yet.

  No matter how much we can’t stand each other, in that room, we both wanted each other. And that scares the fuck out of me.

  “Well, well. I thought I told Blaze to take the trash out.” Amora skirts in front of us, blocking our path to the living room. She turns to Remy first, letting her icy eyes trail down Remy’s body.

  “And who is she supposed to be? Someone we actually give a fuck about?” William looks at me, his thick brows raised.

  “Oh, honey, I’m not sure who you are, but I’m all you should care about.” Amora turns to William, a placid expression on her face, but the vein in her neck pulses.

  “I’m anything but sweet, bunny. Now, hop along and bother someone else.”

  William twists and faces Amora. I don’t miss the way her eyes widen slightly or the hitch in her breath. It’s the normal reaction when girls meet him. Hell, guys too. But she doesn’t back down. “Bunny. That’s cute. Know what else would be cute? Watching your nose play peek-a-boo under my pussy.”

  He scoffs, but a playful smile curls the end of his lips. “Sorry, dove, I’m fasting. But even if I wasn’t, I’d have to pass. You look a little clingy.”

  Amora tilts her head back and laughs so hard she snorts. She flips her blonde strands behind her exposed shoulder, and suddenly all humor has left her. “I only use you boys, for a little light amusement. And while you look like a fun time,” her eyes drop the length of his body, stopping right at his groin before snapping back up. “I bet I’d be disappointed.”

  She disappears before William can respond, but even if she hadn’t, he looks stumped. His mouth is open, and his eyebrows are furrowed. It’s a face I have never seen on him before. “Who was that?”

  “Lily’s best friend.”

  He huffs, running an oversized hand through his hair. “Hmm. That explains a lot.”

  Remy grunts, leaning against the wall. “C-can we get some drinks?”

  I wrap my hand around her wrist, rubbing the back of my burning neck with the other, and lead them toward the kitchen. “Say less.”

  TWENTY

  That’s him. William. I know it is.

  Anyone that hot at Emerald Falls can’t go unnoticed. Hell, I’m surprised Spencer made it that long without people talking.

  When we were younger, there was only one guy he used to talk about. The one who had him ten m
onths out of the year and still called him almost every damn day. Pissed me off that he even answered the calls. He was supposed to be mine for those seventy-four days. But I always felt like I was competing for his undivided attention.

  It makes sense he would bring him here. Parade the very person that was our end.

  I ignore the pang of jealousy that shoots through my limbs when I see Spencer grab Remy’s wrist. I know they aren’t involved intimately, but it still bothers me to see him sensitive, soft with someone.

  That’s it.

  I’ve done everything to get a reaction out of him. Embarrassed him, inconvenienced him, annoyed the fuck out of him, and probably given him blue balls a few times. But I’ve never tested his endurance to watch me with someone else. And I know just the person.

  Amora bounces through the small crowd and up the stairs. She rubs the gaggle of goose bumps down her arm. “Who the fuck is he with?”

  “A friend from where he used to live.”

  “Hmm.” She chews the inside of her cheek. “I want to sit on his pretty face.”

  Chuckling through my nose, I watch over the railing as Remy and Spencer make it to the kitchen. They both motion to the juice, then their bodies shake in unison as they laugh and grab a beer. It always surprises me to see Remy out of her element, doing something I wouldn’t imagine her doing. It makes me wonder vaguely who she is behind the person she shows the world.

  “Let me have a little fun with him. Then he’s all yours.”

  Amora giggles, rocking on her heels. “Ooooo. What are you going to do?”

  Just then, William leans close, asking Remy something. She points to the hall behind my kitchen, shakes her head, and points to the stairs. He must have asked about the bathroom.

  Perfect.

  I tuck a stray hair behind my ear and fix my shirt before waving my fingers at Amora. “Put on a little show before the big finale.”

  She grins, shaking her head before floating down the stairs. She stopped asking a long time ago why I put so much effort into messing with Spencer. Not sure if she thinks it’s still about the project or if she knows better and is just having fun. Either way, she’s more than willing to partake in my game.

  William rounds the banister and saunters up the stairs. Depending on whether he’s seen a picture of me will affect my plan, so I take the cautious approach, leaning against the wall and scrolling on my phone.

  When he speaks, I have to force myself to keep my composure. It’s deep—deeper than any eighteen-year-old I’ve ever heard, and husky. “Well, hello there, sugar.”

  I peer up from my phone and bite my tongue. He is hotter than sin up close. A set of four freckles decorate his prominent jaw under some light stubble. His lips are full, and I think any woman would kill for his eyelashes. And while his body looks to be carved out of marble, it’s not the sexiest thing about him. It’s his eyes. They are a dark forest green that you could happily get lost in.

  Somehow I find my voice and make it as sultry as possible. “Hey. New around here?”

  The hairs on the back of my neck stand up straight, tingling the nerves in my scalp. There’s a coolness in the air that seeps into my fucking skin, setting my spine at full attention. Maybe it’s because I’m back in this damn house or that every blonde that passes in my periphery makes my shoulders tense.

  It’s like waiting for the other shoe to drop, knowing that something is bound to happen because of what I did. I shouldn’t have kissed her. I mean, that’s fucking obvious, but I couldn’t help it.

  Now, my nerves are shot to hell as I mull over her possible responses.

  After a few more minutes, I realize we’re done with our second beer, and William still isn’t back. “What is taking him so damn long?”

  “Maybe he’s found a girl to entertain himself.” Remy shrugs, handing me a shot.

  We agreed on no open drinks, but Remy has a good way of reading people, and I can tell she’s trying to calm me down. “Or maybe Amora caught up to him.”

  I shake my head, gesturing to the large group around the fireplace. “She’s over there. But you know who I haven’t seen? At her own party, no less?”

  The thought pierces through me, a hot flow of emotions boiling the contents of my stomach. There’s no way.

  “I’ll be right back. Don’t leave.” She nods, but when her eyes drift to Blaze, sitting on the back of the couch, I can’t help but groan inwardly. “Stay here, Remy.”

  “Yeah, yeah. Go get William.” She shoos me off, tilting the beer bottle to her lips.

  “Fine.” I grimace but leave her, making a beeline for the stairs.

  As soon as I touch the banister, I feel it. It’s like an electric shock to my nerves, warning me to stop now. But like the dumbass I am, I keep going. Each step is heavy, weighted by something I can’t seem to shake. The higher I climb, the faster my pulse thrums in my veins.

  Then I hear it. The moans and cries I heard just this week. They’re a little different now—high and strained, almost forced. But the same voice nonetheless.

  I reach the top, knowing what I’m going to see, but it doesn’t matter. My heart bottoms out, flopping into my stomach like a fish out of water.

  William is mauling at her neck like a fucking animal, his hands twisted in her hair, pulling her neck back just enough to give him better access. One tan leg is wrapped around his waist, her heel digging into his jeans pocket. Her hands claw at his back, trying to pull him somehow closer than he already is.

  My mouth is dry; a cotton ball lodged in the back. When I try to swallow around the knot, I almost choke from the pressure.

  Of fucking course she would pull this shit. It’s all she had left to do. She’s engrained herself into every aspect of my fucking life, so I can’t escape her. Everywhere I look, there she is. My project, my friend’s tongue, my backyard.

  The air thins out, and I decide this is it. I need to leave. Grab Remy and just fucking go. But just as I move to turn back downstairs, Lily’s eyes open and find mine.

  I did it. I finally got under his sturdy ass armor.

  The look on Spencer’s face is a pure mix of rage and agony. His lips are parted, and crimson red is flushing up his neck and spreading across his cheeks. His breaths are shallow, and I pity the flesh at his knuckles that’s blossoming white from the tight clench.

  He’s battling what to do. I can see it in the tic of his jaw.

  Should he yell? Throw this guy off me? Or instead, just watch?

  There’s no denying William knows what he’s doing, but after being under Spencer and feeling the passion that hides under his nonchalant exterior, this pales in comparison. Everything begins to blur into the background as he works his way lower, unaware of Spencer a few feet away. My pussy clenches as he pushes into me, his erection flat against my entrance.

  I groan, gripping his back, my eyes still planted on Spencer. After all this, I still wish it was him.

  Maybe that’s what’s wrong. Maybe we need to just get it out of our system. Fuck the hatred out of each other and move on.

  Forget.

  Spencer finally sighs, letting the emotions slip from him as fast as they came, and I want to scream. He’s going to walk off. Act like none of this bothers him and go right back to pretending nothing I do affects him.

  My eyes widen. I feel them stretch open, almost begging him to do something. To care. But he doesn’t. His throat bobs around a swallow, and he’s gone, back down the stairs, like he never came.

  I stop breathing. The burn in the back of my eyes are too strong to ignore. There’s a heat covering my face, and I realize I’m ashamed. Ashamed that I’m resorting to being a petty toddler throwing a tantrum for attention. I should be used to it since the ones that are meant to care about me ignore me the most. But I’m not. Spencer is just a constant reminder that no matter how much I act out, it won’t be enough.

  I’m not enough.

  Shifting my weight, I pull my heel from Williams’ back pocket, press
ing my hand against his chest. After a few seconds, he stops, peering at me from behind a forest of lashes.

  His dark emerald eyes give me pause. There’s something sparkling in the corner I can’t quite read. He backs away, smoothing down his shirt, and pushes back thick locks that had fallen into his face. “You must be Liliana.”

  I suck in a deep breath through my nose. “Lily.”

  William nods, pursing his lips into a line. “Did he see?”

  Suddenly, my mouth is dry, and I can’t find my voice. He huffs, closing his eyes, and wipes a hand down his face. “Well, fuck. If this isn’t the shittiest thing we could have done.”

  The temptation to read into that is strong. The way he implies Spencer gives a shit. But I know better now.

  “I’m going to go to the restroom and get him the fuck out of here.” He stalks behind me but turns before closing the door, swiping a calloused thumb over his lips. “You know, in a few months, none of this shit you’re trying to do will matter. You’ll be just a bad memory we laugh about until you’re a name we can’t remember.”

  Anger flares under my sternum when the door snaps closed. Gripping my necklace, I trek to the stairs, balancing myself on the banister. Even with everything in my control, I feel helpless. Like everything I’m doing is both working and backfiring all at the same time.

  Screw it. Time for a show.

  I mean, what else could I possibly mess up?

  Where is Remy?

  My eyes flit to the kitchen, annoyance simmering in my already wrecked chest. I told her not to leave, yet she’s gone. Hardheaded, just like every fucking woman in my life.

  I find Blaze still in the same spot, his hand tracing the trim of lace down the back of some cheerleader’s dress. Stacy, I think.

  Grabbing my phone out of my pocket, I scroll to her name, and send a quick text. The faster I get out of here, the better. Maybe if I just stay right here, she’ll come back looking for me and William.