I sniff it, but don’t bite because I still don’t believe them!
Roarke holds his hand out, and Seth throws one to him. He bites it in half and presses the sweet and sour mix of juice and rind between his teeth.
“And it’s called a kumsquat?” I ask.
“Kumquat,” Seth manages to say without laughing at me.
“You didn’t have fruit at the Manor?” Roarke asks, his head cocked to the side – analyzing me.
This is definitely one of those times I want to remind him that I am not their pet or their toy.
Instead, I blurt out, “Yes, we had watermelons that grew in the trenches that ran water to the cattle. They were called watermelons because they were mostly made of water.”
Seth starts chuckling, sucks in a snort, then lets out full-belly laughter.
If I could hide right now, I would. I have a hard enough time dealing with their junk, anything else is beyond me.
But my mouth presses on, “So what are they made of?”
“Not kum or quat,” Seth snorts.
“Are you sure? I mean, honestly, would you even know?”
“Yes,” all of them say.
“I’m a hundred percent sure the flavors are nothing alike,” Roarke adds.
My cheeks burn red hot, and I contemplate my escape options – all five paces of them. Which is making hiding in the larder feel really appealing. I mean, it would easily fit two of me in there, just not standing up – so it has potential.
Roarke literally groans, leaning against the bench and lowering his head like something I said is bordering on being physically painful for him. Seth can’t stop laughing, and further back, Killian just crosses his arm and watches the show with a little smile hanging on his lips.
“Well, I don’t know, and I’m not sure it’s worth the risk,” I say.
“Try it,” Seth teases. “You’re not going to know if they’re anything like –”
“Ignore him,” Roarke cuts in. “They’re a citrus. They taste like a citrus.”
I just can’t get past the chance that Seth’s going to get me with this. Unless I get him first, just for good measure.
I roll my eyes, stopping and looking intently like I’ve spotted something on the ceiling. I even put a curious crease on my brow.
“Oh, look,” I say with an excited pitch. “It says gullible on the support beam.”
Seth sucks in his laugh and looks up. “It does?”
“Yeah, just there,” I say, pointing with the hand that's holding the fruit – which may or may not be an elaborate joke.
“She can’t read,” Roarke points out.
I didn’t fool him one bit, but I got Seth, and he has an oversized smile on his face to prove it. He shoves the rest of his fruit into his mouth and continues to smile with his cheeks bulging.
“That’s okay. I’ll get you back,” he mumbles around the mouthful.
Before I have a chance to brave my own fruit, Pax whistles, sharp and sudden. It makes me jump and spin around, but the man is outside, and I can’t see a thing because Roarke is right behind me.
Was right behind me – now we’re nose to nose.
He lets out a staggered breath, straightening just enough that it becomes clear all of his attention is on my lips.
Chuck, I know how that feels.
Minutes ago I wanted to kiss Killian, and now I want to kiss Roarke. I am officially the worst mate ever.
Seth shoves a handful of kumquats between us, breaking the moment.
In the next beat the fruit is forced into my hands, I’m practically pushed off the bench, letting out an indignant squeak as I try to regain my balance, and we’re all moving toward the door.
Roarke, Seth, me, then Killian.
With all of their lips on my mind.
Pax, Rose, and Jada are standing in the middle of his muster area. I could also call it his war room – except we’re outside. Rose is poised in her usual fierce stance, with a dagger that she’s twirling just for entertainment as they talk. It’s blood-smeared, fresh from cleaning the deer on the rack over the fire. Jada, however, is lounging back on one of the logs, sprawled on her side and propped on her elbow – the complete opposite of being engaged in hard work. Her strawberry blonde hair’s blowing in the breeze like she fancies herself a goddess, and her raspberry lips are pinched between her teeth as she automatically scans over her audience. She thinks we’re her audience. She’s getting on my nerves, but I contain my reaction as we find our places in an arc around Pax.
Kitten growls, but before she can move, Killian wraps an arm around her waist and hauls her back. Setting her down on his left – far away from either of the women.
“Stay,” he orders.
She crosses her arms over her chest, looking pissed off.
He pats the top of her head. “Good doggy.”
She lets him, her gaze remaining on Jada.
The afternoon is getting late, with hints of the pinks and oranges of a brilliant sunset on its way. It’s giving the afternoon a kind of yellow glow. Off to the side, the fire has been brought to life and the deer carcass is hanging in the rising heat. It would take hours to cook like that, but we’ll carve layers from the outside to let the inside cook quicker – and with Thane demanding more control, Pax will likely be stealing his as raw as possible.
I step to the left and interrupt Kitten’s view of Jada. She wouldn’t be feeling this possessive if she could just confirm her bond with Pax – and get away from the rest of us. But with me inside her bubble, feeling secure in her place with us is impossible. Allure breaks the rules of love. Even the most loyal people can be tempted to love another when my power brushes over them – and I don’t even need to do anything. It can be amusing to watch.
“If you’re leaving under cover of darkness, you should eat first – if you’re comfortable with that,” Pax says.
By comfortable Pax is referring to the non-existent seal on her hand. Nothing more than a shadow of the power that was allowing her to be this far from the White Castle.
“Yes, Commander,” Rose says before going into a long description of the towns she thinks her team can cover on their way back to the White Castle.
Pax holds his hand out, and I pass him the map. Rose stops long enough to help him unroll it and put a rock on each corner. Jada even gets up off her perch to pass a few rocks over.
“Eliijah and his team are going to keep patrolling the forest until you’re ready, then you should ride out together,” Pax says.
“Eliijah needs to eat,” Rose says.
“They have supplies, and they’ve been close to the border for a few hours, not a few days, unlike you.”
As soon as the vivid image is flat, Kitten kneels beside it, running her fingers over Seth’s drawing of the big sequoia tree and the sheer cliff of stone. The chalk smudges a little, but no one moves to stop her.
“This map looks amazing. Where did you get it?” she gasps.
Seth clears his throat, rolling up on the balls of his feet before turning and walking off. “I’m going to deal with our clothes,” he announces.
Which leaves Kitten looking over her shoulder and watching him leave. She points and raises an eyebrow. So I nod.
Yep – Aeons, Seth can draw. He’d never admit that his recall when it comes to the things he’s seen is almost as good as mine. He just likes to wait and see what will happen if he doesn’t recall something.
Pax is frowning at the map, and Rose kneels to get a closer look herself. It won’t take them long to realize the map doesn’t help us at all.
There’s a list of priorities for Pax, and he’s been running over them in pieces with each team. Leaving out large chunks of information. Pressing upon each person that they must trust him – that no one person will know the full plan.
That they can’t know the full plan – it’s just too dangerous.
But Kitten is still a secret. The man has a stone cold game face, and he’s giving nothing away – so l
ong as we can keep her out of his meetings. We should have kept her out of the first one, but people respect Rose, and in the end it worked out to our advantage. We just need to keep that advantage.
On that note I call back over my shoulder, “Seth.”
He’s not even out of sight yet and ambles back with his brow drawn in a frown and a clear distaste for whatever he thinks I’m about to say.
“Kitten,” I say.
His eyes light up.
“Sure thing. Come on, Vexy,” he says, taking her wrist and dragging her out of the muster area.
She lets out an indignant squeak, glaring back at us and looking like she might object.
This is Kitten. Of course, she’s going to object. I make a shooing motion, and Seth tugs her wrist again.
“Clothes – then wine,” he announces before he manages to get her out of sight.
“Shade, Kitten, Vexy. Do you all have names for her?” Jada asks.
Jada steps up next to the map, leveling her gaze on Killian.
The guy grunts, folding his arms over his chest. I’m glad I’m not him right now, I would be turning to leave. He just firms his stance and stares them down.
Rose stands to her full height, and she’s a tall woman, folding her own arms over her chest in a mirror of Killian’s movement – even though Rose isn’t even part of this argument. She has a dried streak of blood across her forehead, and it creases and cracks with her expression as she meets Killian’s challenge with challenge. Jada might want to, but she just can’t compete with that. She’s a strong woman, for sure, but it’s clear her instinct is to pout where Rose’s is to fight.
“You can’t all have her,” Jada gasps.
“None of us plan on having her,” I say.
“I said I don’t get it before, but I mean it. How is this little mortal even still alive?”
Rose waves a hand, like she’s not interested in the new argument, then points sharply down at the map.
“There’s a plan. I’m all for the unwavering magic of… this… even if it is an inconvenient challenge. But…” She trails off, partly because Thane is doing his wolf growl and Killian is doing an equally spine-tingling Darkness growl.
“Well, I think you need to consider your mother's wishes. You three need to leave Pax’s mate alone. Competing with him shouldn’t be an option,” Jada interrupts.
Has she always been this annoying? It’s been a few decades since we’ve worked together. Talked, yes, and we’ve dined and danced at castle functions plenty of times since Mother’s death, but no moments that should be layered with hierarchy and respect. I can’t recall if she ever bowed to Pax as commander, back when he was the only one. Or any of us as heirs, or even Father for that fact – yet somehow she managed to be the perfect picture of what a Saber noble, almost a princess, and one of the few Sabers not forced into triunes, should be. Attentive. Poised. Considerate. Loyal. Passive. That kind of thing.
But now she’s suggesting Kitten is somehow a problem, a challenge to be overcome or discarded.
“She isn’t a challenge, and we aren’t competing – she’s part of the plan,” I say.
Rose meets my gaze, edging a little away from Pax. Clearly unaware that the guy can’t act on his desires. Which is a good thing, since I’m pretty sure he desires blood right now.
“One of the pieces we can’t know?” Rose asks, her tone calming.
“I need to know,” Jada demands, anger written across all of her tense features.
Rose holds her arm out, stopping Jada from taking a step forward.
Jada grew up with us – but all that has given her now is far too low a level of self-preservation.
“I trust your rule,” Rose says, her words stilling the fire in Jada.
And the rippling aggression coming off Pax and Killian.
Jada shakes Rose’s arm off, then flicks her hair back. “I trust your rule,” she bites out, then leaves.
That woman is walking a continuing-to-thin line. Pax needs her to set the example of respect and loyalty, but she’s pushing the boundaries like she did when we were children.
Rose waits until Jada is out of view.
Running a hand over her short hair, she says, “The mortal is going to save us all?”
I nod. “Most likely.”
“Then you boys better work harder at training her and keeping her away from your allies – or we’re all going to die.”
“We will, as soon as we return to the White Castle,” Pax says.
“We’re going back?” I ask.
“No,” Killian grunts.
Rose looks from one of us to the other, clearly in shock.
Then she licks her lips, turns, and starts to walk away.
“I’ll get my team ready. We’ll eat, then leave to search those villages,” she says. Then, when she’s almost out of sight on the path, she adds, “I’m not surprised. She tasted pretty damn good.”
Aeons. One sentence a guy laced with Allure should not be teased with is the taste of the woman he wants to get alone.
I run my fingers through my hair, eyeing the cottage and its quiet little work room three stories above all of this.
“No, you cannot watch,” Pax growls, clearly at Thane.
“Watch who?” Killian demands, finally unfolding his arms. He shoots a glance after Rose that could be full of confusion, or it could be constipation.
Not going to ask him which.
Pax grinds his teeth, which makes every word he manages to get out sound all the more aggressive. “Watch Beautiful and Rose.”
Killian snorts. “Rose likes her lovers to fight harder – Rose likes breaking points. Shadow isn’t like that, so Rose won’t go there.”
He settles himself on one of the logs, right on the edge where he has a view of the cottage out of the corner of his eye.
“But Rose does like women,” Pax says.
“I like women,” Thane growls.
But it falls on deaf ears as Pax sinks onto the next log, straddling it to give himself a clear view of everything in the direction of Kitten – and his Sabers.
I kick the rocks off the map and let it curl up like an unleashed spring before leaning down to get it – then deciding down is a pretty good direction right now. So I move the map aside and sit in its place. The cottage, and Kitten somewhere beyond with Seth, is squarely in my view.
“Can we keep her safe?” Killian asks, his tone low and the question hanging like maybe the answer shouldn’t be voiced.
“I can keep her safe,” Pax rumbles. “But once this bubble is gone, I’m not even sure she’ll want me to.”
The declaration is raw with self-doubt. Killian nods in camaraderie, and I look at them both in shock.
“What do you mean?” I demand.
We all have our issues, but now is not the time for Pax to fall into his. Sure, saving her is priority number one, but after that he wants to take her to the White Castle. Killian wants her kept away from it – and none of us are willing to ask what she wants.
“Remember what it was like with Jessamy? I broke orders to chase her from the moment I laid eyes on her.”
“We’d never ridden harder,” Killian agrees.
All of us – but it was a different time.
“And when we caught up, I could hardly find the words. I felt like a boy again. I brought her flowers – I grew her an orchid! Hired minstrels to play ballads that we’d worked on together.” He pauses to wave at me, then at Killian. “You taught me to hand-forge a blade with the pattern of her fingerprint etched into the steel. And what have I given Shade? A bed on the ground. A life being hunted. A broken arm.”
“Knife wounds,” Killian adds.
“Death threats.”
“Drowning.”
“Locked in a cupboard.”
I can’t believe this – they’re going back and forth listing things in a dry monotone. Killian’s even begun counting them off his fingers.
“A life – we saved her from slaver
y. We gave her a life,” I interject, trying to be the voice of reason.
Even if the reasons are weak.
“She’s still caged,” Killian says.
“And once we fix that, we have to take her back to the White Castle – people’s lives come before love.”
“We can’t keep her safe there, not from all harm,” I say, knowing it’s going to stir up this hornets’ nest.
Pax cracks his neck from side to side with false calm, and when he’s finished with the movement, his eyes are glowing, and his voice has deepened.
“She’s not leaving our side,” Thane says before Pax slips back into control.
“I know leaving us isn’t an option, but that doesn't mean she isn’t going to want to – or try to.”
“Then stop being such an ass and pause for a second to do more than scare off dangers and throw around orders,” I snap.
“There’s more,” Killian says, making us all freeze.
“More what?” I ask, uneasy in that almost queasy kind of way.
“The one thing to fight a grimm is something that’s finally dead,” he says.
Thane is far too present, his form shimmering over Pax’s. Making Pax’s hair turn coffee and ash, his skin prickle, and his eyes glow.
They’re not alone.
“The one thing to fight a grimm is something that’s finally dead.
Wait until your grief has passed, then – Seek the remnant beyond the border.
Speak to a man named Martin but believe the word of a bird.
Let your reflection go hazy in clear waters and see instead through a gray lens.
In Silvari glass is a blade that can pass, a soul that can kneel, and a world that can heal.
This is not a battle that can be won. Before this time can pass, the mortal soul from its beginnings cannot last. There is no way a soul can rule and live.
Because I heard what the Origin Spring said to the tallest forest tree – the key will be in the last of me.” Killian’s tone is naturally ominous – bone chilling.
My breathing has become sharp huffs, my mind pulling apart the words and reassembling them with different possibilities. But my body just wants to explode with a rush of feelings, betrayal among them.
Shadows and Shade Box Set Page 103
