“Why?” Pax asks. Pure disbelief shadows the words even though he looks angry as all Aeons.
There’s no response, the man staring up the hill toward the giant pine instead.
“Why!” Pax snaps.
Killian’s jaw sets hard, and I find the words spilling out of my mouth instead. “Because he doesn’t want her to die.” The air temperature drops.
Killian looks deadly, and wisps of smoke rise from his finger as he points at me. “In battle – she can die in battle!”
“What he means is with a fighting chance,” I hedge.
“But you never expected her to live?” Pax asks.
“It never mattered before.”
“The one thing to fight a grimm is something that’s finally dead,” I repeat. “I’m not sure that means she will die or be dead. Again,” I say.
She did die in the Spring as a baby. I felt the life leak from her – I’m sure of it. No matter how much Killian doesn’t agree with me.
“Or maybe she’s already in the state the prophecy is talking about?” I add.
Killian’s shaking his head, slowly lowering his finger and getting his shadows under control. He’s done so well at controlling them for years now – since Mother died.
“Is there anything else?” Pax asks, swallowing hard a few times, though Thane is still clearly on the surface.
The two of them are in a delicate balance that leaves Pax in control but Thane on the surface. I’m not sure if the sigil is helping them do that or not, but it’s not something I’ve seen for more than a few seconds before.
Interesting and worrying.
“Nothing.”
“The truth, brother!” Pax shouts.
Killian meets his gaze hard and repeats, “Nothing.”
And we believe him – because that’s what family does.
Pax buries his face in his hands and groans. “So our time is limited, no matter what.”
“It was always limited; she ages like a mortal. Her life is half over already,” I say, my own words cutting me as much as it is them.
“How do I hold on to her when the string is so short?” Pax asks.
“You can’t,” is Killian’s short reply.
“You don’t need to hold on to her, or own her, or keep her. You already have her. Have. It’s a present tense word for a reason,” I snap, picking up the map and preparing to storm off into the cottage. Fury rolls through me. Pax does have her. His power has connected, and she is so easily drawn towards the Alpha.
My storm is slowed by the reappearance of all the Sabers. Aria and Amber are talking amicably together in the lead. Rynn is behind them, heating small pebbles with her FireSeed and flicking them one by one into the stream. The water sizzles around the stone as it sinks to the bottom, falling in amongst other pebbles and the larger chunks of submerged granite, black against the natural creams and whites around them. All of which I should really investigate.
No stone unturned. That kind of thing.
I add searching the bottom of the stream to my list.
Lara and Teegan appear next, talking much more seriously – Lara with big hand movements and Teegan with her ever present seductive smile.
Last are Rose and Jada. Rose has her hands clasped behind her back, her gaze set on the horizon, the exit. Jada looks unaware of her posture, but I know that look on Jada’s face. Lips drawn to one side, hands in her pockets, taking a few sidesteps to give Rose her full attention, then a few forwards with her gaze thoughtfully on the ground.
The Sealer has diplomacy down to a fine art, but I’m not sure it’s a skill that will work on Rose – I know Jada is only trying to look out for us. To her the Kingdom comes first, it always has. She wouldn’t tolerate having to reside at the Black Castle otherwise.
My stomach still turns at her words, though. You can’t all have her.
She’s right there.
I shut down that train of thought. It’s not helping, and there are no answers. At least not while we have bigger issues.
All of the approaching Sabers look hungry and head straight for the fire and the slow-roasting deer over it.
“Pax,” I say, in a tone too low for the others to hear. “Just stop and tell her how you feel.”
“I can’t stop,” Pax mutters.
I make an unimpressed huff. “Can’t – or won’t?”
“Can’t,” he says, pulling his shirt aside at an angle where we can see the sigil burned into his flesh, but the others can’t. “I’m burning through the magic too quickly. Every time I’m near her, I want her – and this thing has to absorb that. We need this.” He finishes by tapping his chest hard and letting his shirt settle back into place. “Even if it makes her hate us.”
Killian acts like nothing happened. He waves a sharp hand toward the meat and grunts something Rose understands to mean ‘help yourself,’ which is exactly what she does.
Pax doesn’t move, but he’s right – and that knowledge floods through me.
“I’m going to see where Seth and Kitten have gone,” I say, leaving them with a heavy step and a torn-up conscience.
After a quick detour through the house to stow the map safely, I walk around to where I know Seth and Kitten are probably playing laundry-wars rather than getting the job done, or perhaps already drunk. All the while agreeing with Pax – and hating myself for it.
Priority one – keep her safe.
Then, when we get the chance – as soon as we get the chance – prove to her that we are worth spending the rest of her life with.
No matter how short that mortal time might be.
Five Paces
We do bring the washing in, and the wine. Which means the appreciation award goes to me – for finding the cellar.
Yes – I am unintentionally awesome, I realize as I sip my wine around the fire.
The logs have been dragged into new positions around the fire, and the meat has mostly been devoured. Slice after slice was dropped onto the grate and seared, or not, in Pax’s case, to make the cooking quicker. I’m sitting on the ground, using one log as a back rest. Roarke’s behind me on my left and Seth’s behind me on my right – which kind of bookends me between their legs. And I’m fine with that, comfortable in their shadows. Just waiting for Pax to decide the meat he’s set aside for me is cooled enough for my mortal fingers and mouth. Everyone else is eating cuts with bread, smiling, laughing, and chatting warmly as the sun finally sets. They’ll be leaving soon, once darkness descends.
Which I’m both eager for and very apprehensive about. Are more Sabers on the way? Because I don’t want to go through this process again. And if there’s not, does that mean the guys are on their own and there’s no more help with the bubble?
My skin shivers at the thoughts, and I scan over my companions as a distraction.
Teegan and her triune, the fierce-looking and white-haired Lara and the redhead Amber, are to Roarke’s right. Killian’s almost directly opposite me. And Jada, with her pretty pink eyes and raspberry lips, is sitting between him and Teegan. Next to Teegan, Rynn is turning her cut of meat into charcoal with flames dancing along her fingers. Lastly is soft Aria, who’s eating kumquats and keeping her gaze off the roasting deer.
I finish my last mouthful of wine and put the empty bottle down beside me.
Roarke has one hand resting on the log, his fingers tucked into the neck of my shirt. Which means, in just a little way, he’s holding me in place.
After helping Seth and me bring the clothes in, Roarke decided to wade into the stream. Something about discovering its source – by looking under rocks.
It didn’t make sense to me as I sat on the boulders, sipping my first wine and waiting for the smell of deer cooking to drive me crazy enough to declare that if we didn’t join the group, I was going to starve. Roarke relented – but by then it was dark, so maybe he only stopped looking because he couldn’t see.
It was rather entertaining to watch, and Seth had endless jokes to fill the time.
Roarke’s pants are still rolled up to the knees. He was trying to keep them dry – but that failed when he decided to dive under repeatedly. He did take his shirt off, though, so it’s dry, but he just hasn’t bothered to put it back on.
Roarke, god of sex, is sitting in the flickering firelight with his shirt off and his hair hanging in wet strands down over his chest.
He tips his head back and takes several deep mouthfuls from his round bottle of wine. His long hair topples back in waves and the muscles down his chest and chuckin’ eight pack ripple. No joke, the guy is tall and lean, but every part of him is defined muscle. The effortless kind that makes women drool.
Rynn chuckin’ almost topples off her seat – which gets a glare from Teegan and a chuckle from Seth. I suddenly have a sharp desire to make the fire explode and burn her eyes out. I take a hard breath in a struggle to keep that desire to myself, seriously glad none of my guys have a FireSeed.
I mean, yes, her being blind right now would feel rather satisfying, in a disturbing way, but I’ve smelled burning flesh before – and no matter the reason it’s never nice.
Seth pats me on the shoulder as if checking that I’m not about to lose my cool. He’s a second too late, I already lost it and regained it.
I’m proud of me.
Roarke puts his bottle down next to my leg, picking up his shirt from where he had draped it on the other side of him and slipping it on. Which only mildly settles the atmosphere.
Even though he’s slipped his shirt on, he’s not buttoning it up, instead letting it drape over his body to frame his chest and abs – a little seductive lift to the corner of his lips. For a guy who never kisses and tells and keeps every act of intimacy private, he freaking loves making everyone drool over him.
Which makes me feel a little less mean as I pinch dirt between my fingers and sprinkle it into his bottle. He leans down, picks up his bottle and goes for another full-head-back-long-slow-mouthful.
He sips – then spits the wine out in a wide spray.
Eyes go wide around us, and the soft conversation ceases. Everyone looks at Roarke in shock.
“Good Vexy,” Seth says, patting the top of my head like a puppy.
What is it with these guys and patting my head?
“Seth,” Roarke growls, wiping the remnants of dirt from his lips.
I try to smother my smile and act as surprised as everyone else – but fail.
“Yes, blame him,” I say, pointing up and over my shoulder at Seth.
Seth presses a bottle of Silvari wine into my hand – and I glimpse a warning glare from Pax before claiming it. This makes bottle number three. Clearly, two was my limit – which I apparently should have known without being told. Imminent drunk-Shade has put him on edge, but he’s forgetting this Shade is sitting inside an emptying hourglass. What have I got left? Days? Hours? I don’t want to think about it. I don’t want to feel about it.
But I do want to get wildly drunk on potent Silvari wine. I lift the bottle with every intention of emptying it in one long drink when Roarke grabs it.
“You can drink this one,” he says, trying to replace it with his.
“Mine,” I say, wrestling to keep the bottle pressed to my lips – which also involves some neck craning and lip stretching.
Half the women find this incredibly funny. Rose even chuckles. Some are confused, and Amber and Lara watch with pointed angry glares as I struggle to keep my wine, trying to devour it in as few gulps as possible and finally relinquishing the bottle to Roarke – empty.
“Kitten,” Roarke purrs. “That’s not nice.”
Chills run down my spine, my muscles responding to his tone. The deliberate kind. The sensation curls around my middle, melting me on the inside… making it hard to breathe. Hard to concentrate.
I slap my fist down on his toes. He hisses and pulls his foot away, breaking his power’s hold on me.
I don’t see the meat flying through the air, but at the last second Roarke snatches something out of the air and holds it down to me.
“You’re lucky I didn’t let it drop in the dirt,” he says.
Crap, he’s right. I am lucky.
Seth hands me another drink. Bottle number four.
I pop the cork but can’t suppress my triumphant smile, and I don’t want to – so I avoid Pax’s gaze altogether.
Wine in one hand, meat in the other, I alternate the two and lean back in comfortable bliss. Delicious, silky bliss.
My tongue rubs on the roof of my mouth, feeling a little heavy with the effects. My shoulders feel lighter, my breathing easier. Even the women around the fire look different, less threatening. It’s amusing.
“We’re drinking a year’s worth of the woman’s wine supply,” Rose says, taking a last sip before standing up and lifting her bottle to the sky. “To Eydis.”
“To Eydis,” everyone choruses, small round bottles raised, the red wine inside reflecting the fire’s light and their gazes looking solemnly from one Saber to another.
“We look forward to seeing you soon, Commander,” Rose adds, bowing low.
Her triune follows suit. Standing and bowing. Pax nods in reply – accepting the fealty like a cloak around his shoulders. He doesn’t stand or say anything, leaning forward with one hand pressed to his knee like he’s too good to even sit up straight as he acknowledges them.
He’s made for this role. Everything about him in this moment is demanding loyalty and respect, and it’s impossible to look away from.
Killian, Seth, and Roarke all get a bow too, and all accept it like being honored is normal. The way the world should turn.
Then Rose looks me in the eye and bows just as low in my direction. My heart chuckin' stops. Anxiously, I look past her to Pax – who’s smiling.
But this is not the way my world turns, and unlike my men, I respond with the best head-bow I can from my sitting-on-the-ground position.
“We’ll make another perimeter check with Eliijah’s men and be ready for you once you’ve finished eating,” Rose says to Teegan.
Which points out a big difference between the two groups. Rose is organized, precise, and quick. Teegan is more haphazard, in no rush, and doesn’t seem to care for perfection. Rose’s horses are saddled and ready to go, while Teegan’s are on long leads in the grass and nowhere near their stack of gear hanging over the fence. I like Rose more and more the longer I know her.
“Leave and return,” the group choruses.
“Salad to churn,” I mutter, then smother a snort at myself. No one else seems to notice, though.
“I’ll escort you,” Roarke says, standing and holding his hand out to Jada. “Pass the key.”
“Grass and pee,” I mumble. Thank god these ridiculous rhymes aren’t blurting out loudly – because Pax is right, drunk-Shade has brain-to-mouth issues. Well, bigger issues than normal.
“You have your own,” she snaps.
“Dog and bone.”
“We’ve locked the other two away. You now have the only one.”
“Please understand, I don’t like the idea of no one being able to get in here with you guys if you need help. Locking the domain may have seemed like a good plan at the time, but if someone else gets in –”
“Jada,” Killian rumbles.
Killian, not Pax, because if Pax speaks up, he has to push Jada down a few pegs so the other Sabers don’t cross lines. But Killian can respond in his usual way and not be seen as weak. I see the game these guys are playing.
“You’re more than welcome to walk with me, Jada,” Roarke says, lifting a questioning eyebrow.
“No, thank you, but I do want it back.”
“Lick my sack –” I snort hard, and I’m so glad I didn’t just have a mouthful of wine. My muttering has finally gotten some attention so I wave a hand, trying to shoo them away. “Lighten up.”
“I’ll pass,” Jada says, finally pulling the key from her pocket.
“Kiss my ass,” I mutter.
Set
h leans forwards, putting his face right in front of mine. Well, almost – he’s still sitting beside me.
“Vexy, what’s so funny?”
“Let’s eat honey?” I say with a shrug.
He runs his tongue over his lips, like the mention of honey has him savoring a favorite snack. Something he’s craving, by the hungry look in his eyes. The path of his tongue leaves his lips shiny in the firelight. It’s almost completely dark, which dramatically changes the atmosphere. Changes the temperature with a cool chill, the lighting with heavy shadows, and the way I want to press my lips to Seth’s. Okay, maybe that’s nothing new, but it’s certainly on my mind.
Suddenly, he sits back, saying, “Oh, so tempting.”
With Seth out of my view, my gaze meets Rose’s. The woman winks at me, her face mostly neutral, then follows Roarke up the hill to their waiting horses and the endless night.
Out there is a prophecy that wants me dead and a prison worth of evil with their teeth sharpened and a willingness to die for Lithael’s whims.
But in here, a powerful Saber just bowed to me.
I scratch my head, checking that Rose’s actions were actually part of the last ten minutes of my life and not something I drunkenly imagined. Yep, Elite BloodSeed with eyes that can turn red and a tendency to paint the blood of her kills over her body just bowed to the Soot-servant sitting in the dirt. The notion sends a giddy little flutter through my chest, either that or the wine.
Seth leans down to talk softly in my ear.
“You’re welcome,” he says.
“I am not giving you credit for anything,” I mumble.
Small conversations move around the remaining Sabers. More meat is cut from the thinning carcass to satisfy the members of Teegan’s triune, but I ignore them and watch over my shoulder as Roarke and the Sabers walk to the edge of the domain. The women mount up and ride into the trees.
An annoying sensation settles in my chest. Jealousy aside, Rose was the only ally I had here. Now I’ve got Teegan and Jada, and neither of them wants to bow to me.
Someone tells a joke – which apparently everyone finds funny, but I’m not even listening. Roarke saunters back to the group, picking up the crate of wine and passing bottles from person to person – starting with Seth and ending beside me. I hold my hand out, but he settles the crate out of arm’s reach and sits back in his spot behind my right shoulder.
Shadows and Shade Box Set Page 104
