“Who are you to tell me how I can dress? You aren’t the Bishop!” Libby shot back.
Jonas pursed his lips.
“Nee, but I’m your—your…”
He wanted to claim her as his betrothed. He wanted to claim her as his own, to declare his right as the head over her, but unfortunately, he was not yet married to her.
Bethany could see the strain in Jonas’ eyes, and she almost felt sorry for him.
Libby, however, raised an eyebrow and leered at him. “You think because you are Amish and you’re teaching me to skate that I have to follow some sort of dress code?”
Jonas clenched his jaw. “Nee, but I believe that you should dress with propriety and stick to the rules of the Ordnung.”
Libby laughed at Jonas, causing heat to rise in his face as if it had been badly sun-burned.
“That might apply to me if I was Amish, but since I’m an Englischer, I am free to do as I please.”
Bethany studied Libby’s expression, noting the defiance in her eyes. She’d known Libby all her life, and she knew there was something not right about the way she now spoke. Her tone was deliberate, and her words were chosen carefully, as if rehearsed.
Jonas plunked his hat on his head, his expression clouded with defeat. “Shall we go then?”
As they exited the side door, Benjamin was already outside checking the harnesses, making certain the horses were securely fastened to the sleigh. Jingle bells adorned the harnesses, and hung decoratively around the horse’s necks. They snorted impatiently, rolling surges of icy air billowing from their nostrils with crystalized vapors. Their hooves lifted from the snow in anticipation of pulling the sleigh.
Bethany certainly couldn’t wait to get underway. The sooner they made it through this day, the better she would feel. She and Benjamin were along as chaperones, despite Libby insisting she wasn’t in need of one. Bethany prayed that Logan’s experiment with Libby’s memory would return her to normal because she wasn’t sure how much more she could stomach from Englischer-Liberty.
Tipping her head behind her, she glanced back at Libby, who sat inappropriately between Jonas and Logan. Each was equally doting on her, trying to ensure her warmth. It was almost sickening the way she played them against each other. Had she really forgotten how much she loved Jonas? Upon her return from Nappanee, Libby had shared with Bethany her doubts over breaking it off with Jonas, but here she was, flirting shamelessly with another man—an Englischer, and she was doing it right in front of Jonas. Bethany thought it was almost cruel the way Libby was behaving.
Libby nestled in between two handsome men, both of them appealing enough to catch her attention. Though she feigned annoyance with Jonas, his concern for her well-being did make her heart sing just a little. Logan, on the other hand, was very smart and worldly, and that was a plus for her right now. If not for Logan, her destiny was certain to end with her settling down with an Amish man like Jonas, and that wasn’t what she wanted at the moment. She had a real hunger to explore the world outside of the community, and the only way she could do that was to steer clear of Jonas’ advances, no matter how tempting they may be.
Warmth emanated from each man, sending equal surges of excitement through Libby. Though her attraction to Logan was more out of curiosity for the Englisch world than anything else, it did help that he was nice to look at. If not for the fact that she was more than a little nervous to be on the ice in front of two very handsome men, she might have actually been able to enjoy this outing. But as it were, she feared more than rejection from Logan at the present moment. She feared she would fall and make a fool of herself, but most of all, she feared getting hurt again.
Bethany turned in her seat. “It’s so cold out here, I think we might sit inside at the B&B and watch from the window while you skate—if that’s alright with you, Libby.”
“Ach, I don’t blame you. I don’t know why you would want to be on the ice in that dress. It’s just too cold.”
Bethany scrunched up her brow. “You used to wear a dress whenever you gave lessons. Don’t you remember?”
Libby tipped her head as if to give the matter some thought. “Nee, I don’t remember being able to skate—no matter how much you might try to convince me.”
“I know you would wear Adam’s broad-fall trousers when you figure-skated, but nothing like the blue-jeans…”
“Enough about my clothes,” Libby snapped.
Bethany faced front, and Benjamin clenched her hand. She felt helpless to save Libby from herself, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t keep trying. If she had simply been acting out for the sake of her rumspringa, Bethany would probably be less inclined to worry, but given the fact Libby didn’t remember who she was made her more uneasy than she could say.
When they arrived at the pond, Logan jumped down from the sleigh and held a hand out to Libby, who was eager to put his theory to rest.
“Let’s get this over with,” she said with a heavy sigh. “So I can prove to you that I can’t skate!”
Jonas dragged himself from the sleigh, unable to stomach watching his betrothed flirting with another man even for another minute without hurling the contents of his morning meal across the ice.
CHAPTER 10
Libby wobbled onto the ice, holding tight to Jonas. Snowflakes landed on her lashes, obstructing her view of the pond, but she had to admit, there was something strangely familiar about the setting.
“Don’t let me fall,” she begged as she blinked away heavy snowflakes.
“I would never let you fall.”
His gentle baritone struck a familiar cord in her.
What was it about him that both irritated her and intrigued her at the same time? She looked into his soulful, brown eyes. There was a kindness there that put her at ease. She trusted him. But how could she know that? They’d only just met.
Libby looked deep in his eyes, allowing him to lead her around the pond. Thick snow whirled about, melting on her warm cheeks. She lowered her lashes against the falling snow, breathing in the crisp, December air. Feeling weightless as she twirled and spun, Libby flew across the ice with ease. With Jonas at her side, she could do anything—even skate. He was her rock, the steadying force that drove her—that drove her mad!
I know you, don’t I? Libby thought. Perhaps we were even quite close, but I get the feeling we didn’t part on such gut terms.
She took another look into his kind eyes. She felt at home there. So what was the nagging thought that crept into her mind? Was her mind still playing tricks on her? Jonas was a kind man, Libby could see that in his eyes. A hint of sadness lingered there too. He looked at her with the sort of sadness that made her wonder if his mood had something to do with her.
“Have we met before?”
She couldn’t help but ask the question, but by the look on his face, she now wished she could take it back.
“In a manner of speaking,” he said softly as he whisked her around the far end of the pond.
She studied him for a minute, noting his clenched jaw and the tension that furrowed his brow.
He was awfully handsome.
Keep your mind on task, Liberty, she scolded herself. He’s Amish, and there is an equally handsome Englischer waiting for me on the other side of the pond.
“Either we’ve met before or we haven’t. Which is it?”
Jonas wasn’t certain how much he should reveal to her. If he told her how well they knew each other, it could ruin his second chance to win her heart. His gaze trailed over her golden locks that hung from beneath her knitted hat. He wanted to run his hands through her hair. He wanted to pull her to him and place his lips against hers again. He longed to be near her. He’d missed her so much since she’d left Nappanee just a few short weeks ago.
“We do know each other,” he said cautiously.
“How well do we know each other?”
Jonas could feel his heart slam against his ribcage. Libby’s doctors had warned them not to upset her in any wa
y, and he feared a reminder of their breakup would be just the thing to send her over the edge of permanent memory loss.
He couldn’t be responsible for such a thing.
The other side of that could give him the opportunity to remind her of their relationship, leaving out the part about them breaking up. But that could backfire on him later.
That left him with only one option.
“We were friends in Nappanee,” he said wearily.
“You must have been my skating instructor then?”
“We did skate together quite often.”
She flashed him a half-smile. “Did we date?”
She could tell she’d caught him off guard, and that he had no intention of answering her question. What was he hiding from her? Whatever it was, he was suddenly having trouble looking her in the eye.
“Good job, Liberty,” Logan called to her, breaking the spell. “I knew you could do it!”
His sudden outburst broke her concentration, sending her feet into a slippery whirlwind. Jonas caught her by the arm to steady her until her feet stopped flopping around.
Logan was suddenly at her side, a spray of ice arched across the pond from his quick stop. “You were skating! You proved my theory.”
Libby wobbled and tightened her grip on Jonas’ arm. “I can’t skate. Didn’t you see me almost fall?”
“Yes I did, but before I startled you, which I’m very sorry for, by the way, you were skating.”
“He’s right,” Jonas added.
She leered at Jonas. “I was distracted, that’s all.”
Logan shooed her with his gloved hands.
“By all means, continue. I need to observe you skating by whatever means it takes to conclude this theory I have.”
Libby didn’t want to skate anymore, but she relented for the sake of pleasing Logan. She watched him skate to the edge of the pond and sit on one of the benches. Caught between exploring what her friendship status was with Jonas, and seeing where it could go with Logan, Libby was quite unsure of herself at the moment. She was suddenly more confused than she had been since she’d woken up in the hospital.
Jonas happily pulled Libby away from Logan, hoping to resume his conversation with her—hoping to jar her memory of at least the good parts of their short-lived courtship. They’d fallen into it almost as fast as they’d fallen out of it. He hadn’t stopped loving her, and he prayed that she still loved him, but only time would tell. Unfortunately, with Logan in the way, he didn’t have any time to waste.
“Are you going to answer my question?” Libby asked when they were out of earshot from Logan.
Jonas sighed.
She wasn’t going to let him off the hook.
“I’d prefer if you remembered on your own,” he answered gently.
Libby swallowed hard. She knew that when a person didn’t want to answer, it was usually because the answer was yes, and that made her more nervous than Jonas looked at the moment.
CHAPTER 11
Jonas stood by, helplessly watching Libby and Logan drive off toward town to have their first date. It took every bit of strength he possessed to keep from forbidding her to go, but he had no claim to her anymore, and if Logan could make her happy, who was he to stand in her way?
Snowflakes whirled around him as he stood on the porch with Bethany and Benjamin. He sensed their pity, and it grated on his nerves like the sting of porcupine quills. He didn’t want to let her go, but at the moment, he had no choice. She’d made her choice. Really, she’d made the choice for both of them, and it felt somehow unfair that she held that much of his own future in her hands.
Defeat filled him as he watched the car disappear onto the main road. He stepped off the end of the porch and onto the slippery walkway with several inches of accumulation awaiting a snow-shovel to clear it away. He kicked at the snow as he made his way toward the barn for his horse. The sooner he hitched Gallup to his buggy, the sooner he could go home. He needed to throw himself into his chores so he could take his mind off Libby and her date with the would-be-doctor.
“Leaving so soon?” Benjamin called after him.
“Jah,” he said over his shoulder. “I’ve got to earn my keep at the Troyer’s farm. I suppose the least I can do is to help Libby’s familye—even if she doesn’t want me to be part of it.”
Bethany watched Jonas walk to the barn, his head lowered in defeat. She felt sorry for him, realizing he really loved Libby. She considered her friend very fortunate to have someone like Jonas who was willing to put her first—even if she wasn’t aware of it.
Inside the warmth of the barn, Jonas patted his horse. He hated to bring his gelding back out into the snow when he looked so content in the stall, but he needed to leave this place hoping it would remove the memory of Libby and Logan that was practically etched in his brain. Gallop whinnied and snorted, bobbing his head toward Jonas, and then nuzzled his arm affectionately as if he knew the woes of his human caretaker.
Jonas looked deep into the soulful eyes of his horse, wondering what the animal was thinking. Normally, Jonas didn’t think too much about the horse in such a personal light, but he was the only thing in Willow Creek of any familiarity besides Libby, and she was disconnected from him at the moment. He felt lost in a snowstorm of emotions. He was usually tougher than this, but Libby held a soft spot in his heart that left him weak at the knees.
After hitching the horse to the buggy, he pointed Gallop toward his temporary home and his borrowed family, wondering what they really thought of his intrusion into their lives. Libby’s mother had been more than accommodating, hoping he could somehow bring Libby’s memory back. For Jonas, helping Libby to remember left him with mixed feelings. He wanted more than anything for her to be well again, but if she remembered him, she would certainly recall breaking up with him. That was something he wasn’t yet ready to face. It would be like losing her all over again, but in reality, he didn’t really have her now any more than he had when he’d shown up to lay claim to her.
Jonas reflected on his time on the ice with Libby, realizing he had some hope. She’d remembered him, but more importantly, she knew how to skate. Skating was always something of great importance to Libby, and he hoped she would continue to trust her instincts and keep skating. If only he could find a way to keep her interest in him and in skating. Perhaps when he saw her again tomorrow he could try to work on her memory of him a little more.
Thinking of the look on her face when he told her he wanted her to remember him on her own caused him to frown. A little of the Libby he knew came out in that look. He’d seen it before. She’d given him that same look the day she broke up with him. It was a look of disappointment he hoped he would never see in her again, but today he had.
Regret filled him as he thought of how he might have handled Libby’s question differently. He would get another chance to change it tomorrow, and he needed to rethink the situation so he didn’t make the same mistake with her next time. Keeping the status of their relationship from her seemed to cause her a bit of anxiety, so he would have to find the right words to reveal it without ruining the opportunity to have a second chance with her.
Oh, what he wouldn’t give to have a second chance at winning her heart. To be able to take back the words that were spoken so harshly the night they’d broken up. He knew that if he could get that chance, he’d do everything in his power to change things around so neither of them would get hurt again. He loved her, and he intended to tell her just as soon he could.
Jonas looked down the icy road, blinking away heavy snowflakes so he could see the person walking toward him.
It was Libby, and she was alone.
Jonas couldn’t help but smile.
It looked as if he was about to get that second chance sooner than he could have hoped for.
CHAPTER 12
Logan turned his car into a narrow drive off the main road and pulled up toward the bank of Willow Creek. Libby knew the place well. It was the spot where the youth
would gather to hang out with others that were enjoying their rumspringa. Some would smoke or talk on cell phones, but most would spend private time in the backs of buggies kissing, and doing other things that were always talked about in hushed tones.
The area was heavily wooded, and at the present time, quiet abandoned. Her heart quickened its pace at the thought of Logan trying to kiss her. It was an exciting thought, but she wondered if she would be able to go through with it.
To the best of her recollection, she’d not yet been kissed, even though if she had to be honest with herself, she had to wonder if she’d kissed Jonas at some point. She tried to put Jonas from her mind. She was with Logan, and had no intention of dwelling on what might have been or was in the obvious past with Jonas—no matter how much it nagged at her.
“Why are we stopping here?” Libby asked Logan as he turned off the engine.
He shifted casually in his seat to face her. “I thought it might be nice to just sit and talk a little—get to know one another a little better.”
Libby had thought they would do that at the restaurant, but she supposed it wouldn’t hurt to get the awkwardness out of the way without the added stress of being exposed in the public eye. For some strange reason she knew what it was like to be stared at and whispered about, but she wasn’t really sure why. Perhaps it was because she had a lot of Amish friends, but no, that couldn’t be it.
Shaking off the feeling of uneasiness she suddenly felt, Libby turned toward Logan and smiled.
“Jah, that would be nice. We could walk down to the creek, if you’d like to.”
Logan nodded as he opened his door.
Libby got out eagerly. She loved this time of the year. If she had her way, it would snow year round just so she could spend every moment skating.
Logan held a hand out to her and she took it.
“I just had a strange thought,” Libby said.
Logan squeezed her hand as he led them down the creek bank. “What’s that?”
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