“Why wouldn’t I be up to it?” Libby snapped. “It’s not like I don’t know about the breakup, but I’ve decided to give Jonas another chance.”
“I had no idea you knew,” her mother said.
Libby was only challenging her. She had no real idea that they had broken up, but her mother’s confirmation was enough for her. She only wished she knew why they had broken it off. She couldn’t just come out and ask her mother why, she had to be strategic about it so the woman would be none the wiser as she was giving up precious information she had no idea she was giving up.
“Of course I know. Why wouldn’t I know? But I had no idea you knew.”
“You told me all about it when you returned from Nappanee,” her mother said. “I didn’t think you were ever going to stop crying. I was worried about you that whole week.”
I cried for an entire week? Libby thought to herself. Jonas must have been the one to break it off.
“Well, it doesn’t matter because I’m over it and Jonas and I are back together.”
Her mother’s expression fell. “I suppose this means you’ve changed your mind, then.”
Libby had no idea what her mother was talking about, but she was already too deep in the conversation to back out now and admit she was lying to her mother, so she had no choice but to go along with it and finish the discussion.
“Jah, I suppose I have,” Libby said.
“It sounds like you have your mind made up then. Jonas will have to break the news to your vadder. He isn’t going to take the news very well.”
What news?
Libby wished so much that her mother would just come out and say what it was so it wouldn’t be a mystery to her. It would be a challenge to get the information from Jonas as well since he seemingly enjoyed the game of cat and mouse he was playing with her. What was the big mystery behind their breakup? Was it possible there had been another woman in the mix? If so, Libby wouldn’t dream of entering into a relationship with such a man. Somehow, she had to find out the truth, even if it meant keeping up with the lie of making others think she knew everything of the breakup, and that included Jonas.
Libby pursed her lips and stepped through the doorway, forcing her mother to step aside to allow her passage. “We will deal with that later. As for now, I’m going for a sleigh ride, and I’m going to have a little fun for a change. All this memory loss is wearing me out.”
Her mother pulled her into a light embrace.
“Have fun. You are young and healthy. We will let the rest worry about itself.”
Caught off guard, Libby didn’t think to hug her mother back until the woman had already let go of her, and then it was too late. Regret filled her as she momentarily mourned the loss of her mother—not in the physical sense, but by the fact that she simply could not remember too much about her. It was just short of frightening to think that her own mother was a stranger to her, but that was her new reality, a reality that had become too difficult to live with.
As she walked down the stairs, her mind was reeling. How was she going to get Jonas to tell her why they had broken up?
She still had too many questions that nagged at her. Why had Jonas returned to her life? What had he done that was so awful that he needed to keep it from her, and why would her father be upset with her sudden change of heart where Jonas was concerned.
What did Jonas have to hide?
That was the biggest question weighing on Libby’s mind.
As she reached the landing at the bottom of the stairwell, Libby spotted Jonas standing alone at the hearth, warming his hands against the flames. He was seemingly deep in thought. She half-expected to see her father or brother with him, perhaps even lecturing him, but there he stood. Alone.
Was it enough that she loved him? She’d remembered being in love with him before, which only intensified those feelings. But was it enough to overlook whatever he had done to lose her in the first place? Had he lost her trust? He was, in fact, deceiving her now by not telling her what had happened between them, or what had caused the breakup.
Was it such a terrible offense that she’d blocked it out as a way to protect herself, or was it such a minute problem that her love for him could overlook it to where it didn’t matter?
Whatever it was had broken them up. That fact still remained etched in her mind, but her heart could not let go of the love she felt for him. One of them had severed the ties that bound them, but for some reason that no longer mattered.
Libby went to Jonas and put her hand in his.
“I’m ready for whatever is in store for us.”
He gave her hand a little squeeze and smiled. She trusted him, and for that reason alone, he would not let her down a second time.
CHAPTER 23
Jonas assisted Libby into his open sleigh, the warmth of her hand permeating her mittens. He’d left his own gloves off just so he could feel her warmth. He slipped them on before grabbing the lead-straps.
“I was surprised your vadder didn’t greet me,” Jonas said.
Libby’s heart thumped. He’d opened the conversation for her to broach the subject of their breakup. She breathed in deeply, knowing she wanted only to put that behind her and not think about it again. Just knowing they’d broken up didn’t sit well with her, but she was determined not to think about it anymore.
She knew she might not get another window to find out what had happened between them, but she’d made up her mind that she didn’t want to know, and she needed to stick to that.
“Mei vadder probably isn’t eager to deal with my change of heart about you and me.”
“You know about the breakup, don’t you?” he asked, the color draining from his face.
“Jah, I do,” was all she would say. She didn’t want him knowing she didn’t remember the details. They didn’t matter. All that mattered was her love for him. The rest, she prayed, would take care of itself.
Jonas could feel his heart tightening. How was it that she knew, yet here she was out with him like it had never mattered in the first place? She’d made such a grand exit from his life over not wanting to leave her family behind while he moved her to Florida. Perhaps she’d really had a change of heart like she said she did. Either way, if Libby was on board with leaving, he would make the arrangements for their immediate departure. Though he knew it would not be possible to join Bethany and Benjamin for their wedding tomorrow, he hoped she would agree to keep their original wedding date, which was the following week.
“I can’t believe you changed your mind,” he said quietly. “Does this mean our wedding is still on for next week?”
Libby’s heart skipped a beat. “N-next week?”
“Jah, that was the plan—until…”
“I will marry you next week,” she interrupted. She wasn’t about to give him a chance to change his mind. She knew he was a good match for her, and she knew she loved him enough to marry him. The past didn’t matter, and she took the mindset that what she didn’t know could not possibly hurt her.
Jonas stopped the sleigh in front of Willow Creek. He’d cut across the open field at the back of her parent’s property, the full moon reflecting off the snow illuminated the way. Stars lit up the heavens creating an indigo backdrop against intermittent cloud cover. Occasional wispy snowflakes fluttered around them, making for the perfect romantic setting. Add the flux of the creek coursing over the rocks and ice patches along the bank, and they didn’t lack any resource for romance. It was even in the crisp air they breathed in.
Jonas turned to Libby, thinking how beautiful she looked in the moonlight. “Are you cold?”
Libby giggled. “Of course not. You know I could live outdoors in the winter.”
Truth be told, she was a little chilly, and now chided herself for not admitting it. That truth could have landed her in his arms, but she was so nervous she wasn’t thinking straight. She’d just told him she would marry him, and suddenly things turned a little awkward. Perhaps it was because they were bo
th pretty shy, and they had moved things along rather quickly between them.
Thankfully, Jonas pulled her into his arms regardless. He tucked the lap quilt closely around the two of them, and Libby did not object. He was certainly a considerate man.
The comforting thought in all of this for Libby was the fact they’d shared a past that was reconcilable. Without that, she would not have been so agreeable to let things advance as quickly as they had. The fact they’d already set a wedding date meant a lot to her.
But what of their wedding night? They were practically strangers. She barely remembered kissing him. It was something she greatly desired, and she feared if he didn’t kiss her soon she would faint from the anxiety of it.
No sooner had she resolved herself to the disappointment, than he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. His breath was warm against her cold mouth. Pulling his gloves off, he placed his warm hands on her cheeks and deepened the kiss. Drawing her closer, Jonas whispered to her in-between kisses.
“I’ve missed you,” he said.
She wished she could say it back to him, but she wasn’t sure if she missed him because she hadn’t felt the gap between them the way he had.
“I love you,” he whispered.
This, she could reciprocate.
“I love you too,” she whispered.
Jonas deepened the kiss further still, making Libby warmer than she thought possible in the twenty-one degree weather. After several minutes, Libby slowed down the return of his kisses.
“What’s wrong,” he asked.
“Maybe we should talk about our future plans. Where we will live, and what role we will play in the community.”
“We already decided that—at least I thought we did. That is until…”
“Until we broke up,” Libby said, wishing she hadn’t said it just as soon as it left her lips.
Jonas didn’t want to rehash the past. He was enjoying the possible future with Libby, and had every intention of making things work right here in Willow Creek if that was what it would take to keep her happy.
“I can set up greenhouses here if that is what you want me to do. I can work from wherever. I’m guessing you want to stay near your familye.”
“Nee, I don’t,” she said, surprising him. “I was hoping you’d take me far away from here.”
Jonas looked at her wide-eyed.
What had just happened?
CHAPTER 24
Jonas looked at Libby as if she’d just grown two heads. Did he dare mention the huge fight they’d had before she’d left him and come back home to Willow Creek? She’d made such a point to let him know she was not interested in leaving her family to move to Florida, but yet here she was telling him she’d changed her mind.
Was this the change of heart she’d mentioned at the start of their date? They had been on two separate sides of the fence on this subject, and now it would seem they still were. He’d come to tell her that he was the one to change his mind, and now she had completely turned opposite of him. He thought it best to keep quiet and let her have her say without his input. He didn’t intend to do anything to clash with her idea of how she saw their future unfolding.
Libby stopped talking, realizing she’d said something terribly wrong. From the expression on Jonas’ face, she could tell she’d made a mistake. Now, she decided to remain quiet and let him make the final decision for their future.
As her future husband, she would respect Jonas’ decisions and his wishes, rather than acting like an unruly woman he would not want to marry. If she wanted peace in her life with Jonas she would have to learn the art of submission before it was too late. She wasn’t trying to go against him, she just wasn’t up for living so close to a family she didn’t know, but she would do whatever was necessary to keep Jonas happy.
“I didn’t mean that the way it sounded,” she said, trying to retract her harsh statement. “I love them. I just don’t have the same feelings about them since the accident. It’s odd but I feel separated from them. Sort of how I felt about you right after the accident.”
“I suppose the next question is; how far away do you want to live from them?” he asked cautiously.
Libby thought about it for a minute. Was this a trick question? As far as she knew, there were only two options. Willow Creek or Nappanee, and neither place was so far from the other that it wouldn’t accommodate frequent visits.
“Where else is there?” she asked.
There it was.
The wedge that had pulled them apart.
Was she setting him up for another argument?
He was not in the mood for a debate, but it was something they needed to resolve. If they could do it amicably, they could salvage this dilemma and keep both of them happy, but he insisted on getting his way like he had last time they’d discussed it, and that would never work now. So, he relented and decided to let her make the final call. He knew he would essentially be happy wherever they were as long as it was with her.
“I’ll be happy wherever you are,” she said.
That was what he needed to hear from her the first time they’d discussed this—when they’d broken up in a heated argument. But now, well, now he needed her to be truly happy.
“Are you sure about that?” he asked.
Libby looked at Jonas curiously. What was it he was trying not to say to her?
“I only want you to be happy,” she said. “I will be happy wherever we live as long as it’s with you.”
Why couldn’t you have said that last time? He thought to himself.
He didn’t dare continue on with this conversation. He wanted to get back to kissing. He’d missed holding her in his arms. He’d missed the love between them, and right now, that was all he could think of. If he could think past the kissing, they might perhaps resolve the difference of opinion, but he didn’t want that time to be tonight. Not when the moon and stars shone so brightly in the crisp, winter sky just for them.
Jonas pulled her back to him. “I don’t want to talk about this now. I only want to kiss you.”
Libby smiled. “I like the sound of that.”
He smiled back at her, pressing his lips to hers.
“Your lips are cold,” he said playfully.
Libby pulled the lapel of his woolen coat. “Then warm them up.”
She kissed him softly, repeatedly, warmly. And to think she’d nearly passed up this man for an Englischer. Thankfully, she’d come to her senses before it was too late. She’d have missed out on this, and she couldn’t even imagine living without this man now.
Libby blinked away snowflakes. The wind began to pick up, sending shivers through her.
“I thought you could live out here all winter,” he teased.
Libby’s teeth chattered. “Normally I c-could. I d-don’t know wh-what’s wrong w-with m-me.”
Jonas pulled her close, tucking the lap quilt all the way around her. He pressed her face in the crook of his neck to shield her from a sudden gust of wind.
“Maybe we should get you home.”
“Nee, just a little longer,” she begged. “I’m not ready to go home yet. Not to a haus full of strangers.”
“Have you thought about taking the time to get to know them all over again?” Jonas suggested.
“I hadn’t really thought about that, but I do have to wonder if there isn’t a reason that I’ve blocked them out of my memory.”
She’d blocked him out too, but Jonas wasn’t about to remind her of that. If there was one thing this night had taught him, keeping quiet about the past was probably for the best.
Jonas pressed his lips to hers once more, breathing in the night air.
Something was amiss.
Pulling away from Libby, Jonas sniffed the air and looked for what he feared he would find. “We have to go,” he said, grabbing the reins.
“Why?” Libby asked. “I told you I wasn’t ready to go.”
“Don’t you smell that?” he asked. “Something is on fire!”
CHAPTER 25
Jonas could see smoke coming from the direction of Libby’s family home, but he tried not to alert her to his suspicions. He prayed it wasn’t their home that was on fire as he pressed his horse to pull the sleigh a little faster in the deep snow.
As they rounded the curve of the creek toward the clearing, Jonas spotted fire. From what he could tell it wasn’t the house that was burning, but more likely the barn, but it was definitely Libby’s family farm that was in danger.
It was too late to spare her the reality of it. From out of the clearing they could see her property easier.
Libby gasped. “Hurry, Jonas. Mei familye is in trouble!”
She felt a sudden urgency to go to them, anxiety over the last words she’d spoken to her mother replaying in her head. She’d all but told her to keep out of her dealings with Jonas. Told her that it was none of her business. She’d been disrespectful to say the least.
Libby felt her throat constrict as she thought of her family getting hurt. What would she do without them?
“Can’t you make your horse go any faster?” she shrieked, panic overtaking her. “I can almost walk faster.”
Libby knew that wasn’t the truth. The snow was far too deep for her to walk through, but it didn’t change the anxious feeling that brought bile to her throat.
“Nee,” he said. “He’s going as fast as he can in this deep snow. We’ll get there.”
Tears welled up in her eyes as they neared, partly from the thick smoke in the air, but mostly because she had no idea where her family was or if they were safe. They were still too far away for her to see from that distance in the dark. The moon had dipped behind thick cloud cover, and heavy snow had begun to swirl and blow, bringing the visibility to a minimum.
The jingling of the bells on the horse’s bridle drowned out communication between them, but Jonas concentrated on the jutted path that had brought them to the creek, hoping it would get them to the house more quickly.
“Hurry,” Libby begged him.
Jonas could hear the sense of urgency in her voice, anxiety clouding reality for her.
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