The Ultimate Blind Date

by Jill Ferraro

  “Unless that happens, you will not meet Brielle in real life until the wedding day. Your marriage is 100% authentic, it’s not just for show.” Abigail looked around the room at the blank faces in front of her. “Any questions?”

  Carl raised his hand. “So uh...when can we start?”

  “You may start...now.”

  Carl cheered as he powered up his device. “Hey, babe. I’m Carl,” he dictated aloud as he typed out his message.

  Asher rolled his eyes and stared at his device. The other men began filtering out of the living room. He got to his feet, walked down the hallway, and laid down on the bed, determined to make his first impression on his future wife a memorable one.

  Chapter Three

  Brielle

  Shea: So what did you have for breakfast?

  Brielle: I was too nervous to eat!

  ◆◆◆

  Brielle sighed. Her device hadn’t stopped vibrating or dinging since she’d gotten her first message 45 minutes prior. She was being inundated with messages. Jason, Peter, Asher, Carl...she couldn’t keep them all straight. From the timestamps, it appeared they got their devices much earlier than her and had a headstart on jamming her inbox.

  When she was using dating apps from the comfort of her own home, she at least had pictures to put with each guy. Here, in this strange apartment with this device, she had nothing but a pile of file folders and an app full of messages she was too overwhelmed to reply to.

  She was so overwhelmed, she wanted to cry or scream but she was very aware of the cameras that were on her at all times. When she agreed to be on the show, Brielle vowed she would keep her cool on camera at all costs. Instead, she took a deep breath and thought about the challenge she had. She needed to figure out who each guy was and whether or not she liked him.

  Each guy had a profile full of identifying information. She needed an organizational system. A map of some sort. Brielle stood up and looked around the room. She found a highlighter and thumbtacks on the desk and got to work.

  An hour later, she had highlighted the information she liked about each guy, cleared the wall in the living room of the artwork that had been hung up, and tacked up each profile instead. She used sticky notes to give each guy a rating from one to five. She’d always wanted a five star guy, now she was going to find one.

  So far everyone was at a three because she didn’t know one from the other. She stood back and admired her new system. This could work. She was sure she would look slightly insane to the home audience but at least she had a working plan now.

  Even though most women on reality shows don’t admit they’re rating and ranking the men they’re dating, everyone accepts that it’s part of the show. Brielle reasoned that she was just making it visible for once and hoped her future husband wouldn’t mind.

  With her mind a little clearer, Brielle got to work reading the messages. She started with Carl since he’d messaged her first.

  Carl: Hey babe im carl

  Not the most clever message but maybe he was nervous.

  Brielle: Hi Carl, I’m Brielle...this is totally weird, right?

  Carl: Yeah i hvnt ben around this many guys since college

  Brielle: Having the opposite problem. It’s so quiet in here, I’m the only one around. Where’d you go to school?

  Carl: Wish I was there. We could cuddle up, maybe watch a movie, and see what happens

  Brielle’s stomach fluttered. She wanted to spend more time talking to Carl, he really cut to the chase, but she knew she had to talk to everyone that day. She moved on to the next guy in her messages, Peter. Carl’s rating stayed at a three, although Brielle could tell he would probably move up to a four quickly.

  Peter: Let’s skip the introductions since I already have a file on you and you have one on me. What’re your biggest dreams?

  This message took Brielle back a bit. She hadn’t expected to jump into something so deep so quickly.

  Brielle: Um, tough question. I want to travel. I haven’t left the country yet. My real estate business has just started to pick up and I’m hoping to find a partner that wants to travel too.

  Peter: Oh cool. I went to Amsterdam last year. It was awesome.

  Not exactly what she had planned for her travels but at least Peter was adventurous. Brielle preferred more tropical climates. She left Peter’s rating at a 3.

  Brielle continued like this, getting through the awkward introductory part of the conversations by lunchtime. Her wall was full of sticky notes in various colors of fun facts she’d learned about each guy.

  The one person she was more curious about was Asher. He’d messaged her about 45 minutes after the rest of the guys.

  Asher: Hey, I’m Asher. I know the whole point of this is to talk to you but I know you’re probably really overwhelmed right now getting messages from 7 other guys. I have my whole life to get to know you, message me back when you’re ready.

  Brielle was surprised. The messages from the other guys were coming in faster than she could respond to them. At first, she was a little annoyed that Asher didn’t want to compete with the rest of them for her attention but then she softened. It was incredibly thoughtful that he wouldn’t put pressure on her right away. She moved Asher’s rating up to a four as well.

  There was a knock on the door at noon and Abigail came by with her lunch, a turkey sandwich with a side salad and fries. Brielle knew the fries were a test, she was sure if she ate them she’d be touted as a “real” woman who ate french fries in all the promos for the show but Brielle didn’t care. Fries were delicious and she was starving. She ate everything while Abigail sat at the table and gave Brielle a rundown of her afternoon.

  “So after you’re done...eating,” she said, eyeing the empty container of fries, “We need you in the interview room for your first interview.” Her tone had changed from earlier in the day and she no longer had a bubbly personality. She was a bit cold and seemed annoyed to even have to interact with Brielle.

  “Cool. What are we talking about?” Brielle asked in between bites.

  Abigail pointed to the living room wall, now covered in sticky notes. “This.” She frowned. “All of this.”

  Brielle turned red. She suddenly felt like she’d done something wrong. “Oh...um okay. That’s fine. Should I change or…”

  Abigail sighed. “Yes. Pick ONE outfit to wear for all of your interviews. Hair and makeup will quickly get you ready and then you’ll go on.”

  Once her lunch was finished, Brielle went into the bedroom and looked at her outfit options. She chose her most professional option, a cute navy skirt with a low cut, lacy grey blouse. She pulled it on, keeping her bare feet, and waited for Abigail to come to get her for the interview.

  By 1:15 Brielle was sitting on a rather uncomfortable stool with a full face of makeup and more hairspray in her hair than she thought one can could hold. Abigail was standing off to the side, still looking annoyed and holding a clipboard. Laura and James, the main camera crew, set up the camera and made sure Brielle was centered in the frame.

  Abigail looked at her, impatiently. Her cheerful attitude this morning was quickly disappearing. “We’re going to start recording. Talk about your day.”

  Brielle’s eyes grew wide. She knew she’d have to do confessionals but had never thought about how they were done. All words left her brain.

  She took a nervous breath. She had no idea what she was going to say. Laura counted down and Brielle closed her eyes. When Laura got to one, she opened them.

  Brielle put on her best smile and TV voice. “Today’s been a rollercoaster. It’s been strange getting used to all the cameras…” Brielle paused for a long time, searching for words. “I think I’ve got it under control now. I didn’t realize how overwhelming it would be. But I have a system now.”

  Abigail was waving her hands around. Apparently, she wanted her to talk about the system more and Brielle suddenly felt embarrassed. She knew she would look a bit unhinged, all she needed was a bit of
yarn connecting the files together and she’d look like a true crime enthusiast.

  Brielle smiled until her face hurt and tried to take a deep breath. “I was having a bit of...trouble...keeping everyone straight. Normally you have a face to attach things to but I don’t know what these guys look like and they don’t know what I look like. So it’s an added challenge.”

  Abigail groaned. “Can you PLEASE explain how it works? God, confessionals are a key part of the show, Brielle.”

  They went back and forth like this, with Abigail hurling questions at her and Brielle trying her best to answer them. Abigail seemed disappointed with every answer she gave.

  After about 45 minutes, Brielle was exhausted but Abigail had one final question. “Who are you eliminating today?”

  A jolt of fear shot through Brielle. Logically, she knew she had to eliminate someone but she had been so preoccupied getting through morning she hadn’t thought about it. “I don’t know who I’m eliminating yet. I think it will be a game-time decision.”

  “Don’t look so scared next time.” Abigail didn’t speak again as she ushered Brielle back upstairs. Brielle was glad she didn’t need to interact. Her mind was only on one thing.

  Who was she going to eliminate tonight?

  Chapter Four

  Carl

  Carl: so what’s ur favorite movie

  Brielle: Every movie’s my favorite

  Carl: pik 1

  Brielle: Uh...Clueless I guess? If I HAVE to pick.

  Carl: no way me 2

  ◆◆◆

  The meat was piled high on the sandwiches and the guys started grabbing them off the tray in a frenzy. Ever since Carl had sent that first message practically everything that happened in the apartment had been a competition. Who was stronger? Who was taller? Who sent the most messages? Who got the most emojis? And now, who could eat the most sandwiches the fastest?

  Carl was already sick of the rest of the guys there. He missed his buddies back home, they never got in a pissing match because they knew he’d always win. These guys hadn’t learned that yet but they would, in time.

  He looked around the room. Most of the guys had already eaten their first sandwich. Carl wasn’t hungry but didn’t know when they’d be fed again. He ate half a sandwich and checked his device.

  Before he left home, he told everyone he was going on vacation for a few days. It was too risky to tell even his parents where he was going, no one could know he was here. He wished he could post some cool photos but he’d have time when he got back from filming. With his new wife.

  Though he was the first one to message Brielle, it hadn’t given him much of an advantage. Their conversation had petered out about two hours prior to getting lunch. Peter seemed to brag quite a bit about his time “spent” with Brielle. As did Damien, although Carl had been watching him closely and it didn’t seem like he was spending very much time messaging, he just kept looking at his device and looking away. He hoped the cameras were catching that.

  Carl didn’t mind the cameras everywhere. He knew he didn’t have a bad angle and wasn’t going to do anything stupid while he was there. Well, stupider than what he was already doing. The other guys...that was a different story.

  As their eating competition slowed, one of the guys, Brandon, tried to start a conversation.

  “So, why is everyone here?”

  He was met with blank stares and Jason’s open mouth chewing. “Well...I’m here because I’m 31 and I’m ready to have kids. I’m hoping Brielle is too. I want someone to come home to.”

  Carl thought Brandon was actually being sincere. He didn’t stand a chance, this was a competition and he could tell that guy was not competitive.

  Damien spoke next. “I know most girls on reality TV are hot. And I want my wife to be hot. So I figured, why not try it, you know?”

  A couple of the guys laughed uncomfortably. One, Asher, got up, threw his trash away, and walked into the other room without saying anything.

  “His panties got in a bunch quickly,” Jason laughed. “I’m the same as Damien. Having a chick who could do my laundry and stuff sounds sweet.”

  The guys who were here for entertainment value were quickly making themselves apparent. Brandon and Asher were clearly here because they were good matches for Brielle. Jason and Damien were clearly the bad guys. Where did that leave Carl?

  Matthew spoke up from the couch. “I personally know how to take care of myself so I’m not here for that.” Definitely a possible match.

  “Same. She’s got her own career and shit, too. She seems pretty smart.” Shea added.

  “Yeah, Jason. She’s smart. She’s not just a chick to do your laundry.” Damien began taunting Jason. “But I bet she’d look damn good doing it.”

  Jason cracked his third beer of the day. “Hey, that’s my wife you’re talking about.” He puffed his chest out. This was escalating quickly.

  “No, that’s my wife.” Damien stood up. Soon he and Jason were chest to chest, screaming into each other’s faces.

  They went on like that for a few minutes, each one too chicken to take the first swing. Carl eventually walked over to them. “Guys. She’s nobody’s wife right now. Go sit down and stop looking like idiots.”

  The rest of the guys looked relieved that Carl had stepped in. He was used to being the voice of reason. He’d broken up more than his fair share of fights back home. He’d started a fair share of them, too.

  Carl tossed his lunch and went and sprawled out on the couch. He heard Damien stomp down the hallway. Jason sat down against the wall next to Carl.

  “Thanks, man,” Jason said. “If you hadn’t stepped in, I don’t know what I would’ve done.”

  Carl rolled his eyes. “Oh, cut it out. You wouldn’t’ve done nothing.”

  “You don’t know me, man.”

  “And you don’t know Brielle. Do you really think she’s gonna wanna marry a guy who gets in fights with people he barely knows?”

  Jason was silent for a minute. “Girls like it when you fight over them.”

  “We’re all fighting over her, dummy. That’s the point of this. But she won’t like fistfights, I’ll tell you that much.” Carl sighed loudly. Why had he spoken to this idiot in the lobby this morning?

  “I’ll just have to fight over her another way then.” Jason pulled out his device and began Dictating, loudly. “You’ll...never...believe...what...just...happened…”

  “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!” Damien came rushing down the hallway.

  “What’re you going to do about it?” Jason hit send on his device. The room was silent, everyone was watching the two run their chances with Brielle into the ground.

  “I’m gonna deny everything.” Maybe Damien wasn’t as stupid as Jason but he was just as stubborn.

  That shut Jason up. He looked at his phone with regret before quickly puffing his chest back out. “Whatever man. You’re done for. By the time she hears my sob story, you’ll be packing your bags to head home.”

  Carl couldn’t stand the bickering any longer. He stood up and started walking down the hallway. Before he left, he looked at Peter. “Make sure these two don’t kill each other. They’re giving me a headache.” Peter laughed.

  Carl walked to his room and laid down on the bed. At least the rest of the guys can relax for the rest of the day. Damien and Jason had all but guaranteed one of them was going home that night. Carl knew she wouldn’t like two guys fighting like that. He knew Brielle was much smarter than that.

  He laid down on the bed and sent her a message.

  Carl: checking in how was ur lunch? wut r u up 2? start planning our wedding yet ;)

  Carl knew it would take a while for her to respond. He rolled over and decided to take a nap. He could wait. After all, he’d waited this long, what was one more day?

  Chapter Five

  Brielle

  Jason: Can you believe he did that?

  Jason: I was defending YOUR honor, he’s such an asshole


  Jason: Baby? Hello?

  ◆◆◆

  There was a knock at the door and Brielle stopped pacing across the kitchen. She had taken up pacing as she messaged the guys to calm her fraying nerves. Not only was she on edge, but now she was somehow mediating a fight between Damien and Jason.

  Neither man would give her the full story and the rest of the guys in the apartment, smartly, agreed to stay out of it. While Brielle admired them for not getting dragged down into the drama, she was annoyed she couldn’t get the full story. Damien insisted there wasn’t a problem and Jason made it sound like Damien was the worst man on the planet.

  She crossed the kitchen and answered the door. Abigail was standing there and plastered her fake smile back across her face.

  “Hey, girl!! How’s it going?!” Her tone had clearly changed from earlier. She entered the apartment and glanced at the profile wall, briefly frowning before smiling wide once more.

  “It’s fine. Was I supposed to do something? I didn’t think you’d be back until later.” Brielle was weary of her unexpected visitor.

  “Oh no. I just thought you might like to talk to your parents before you start wedding planning tomorrow.”

  Brielle thought for a moment. She’d already spoken to her parents about the wedding before she left. She peered into the hallway and saw Laura and James. Abigail wanted video of Brielle discussing the wedding with her family, she didn’t care about Brielle’s feelings.