Gemina

by Amie Kaufman

  Hanna D: They did it sooner than planned though. Because of me.

  Pauchok: u letting Falkster inside ur head, blondie? coz thats what he wants u 2 think

  Hanna D: 57 people, Ella. Dead. I should have done something differently.

  Hanna D: I should have seen this coming.

  Pauchok: sec, this decker’s set the dogs on my ***…

  Pauchok: she good

  Pauchok: …

  Pauchok: k back

  Pauchok: now wtf u talking about? how u supposed 2 see this coming?

  Hanna D: If I hadn’t pushed Falk, maybe we’d have thought of something. Worked out we should open the internal doors, I don’t know. I baited him. I was trying to get him worked up. An angry opponent is easier to beat. That’s 57 people who can thank me for it.

  Pauchok: “maybe” “if” “I don’t know”

  Pauchok: **** that noise

  Pauchok: u read that report, same as me. these *****s are here 2 kill everyone on this station. falk could’ve just as easily stubbed his toe and decided to flush those ppl, didn’t need u to get up in his face

  Pauchok: he’s a ****ing triggerman, blondie. he’s here to pull triggers

  Hanna D: Well, I guess you’d know one of those when you saw one.

  Pauchok: o now here’s a turn

  Pauchok: u got something u wanna get off ur c-cups, donnelly?

  Hanna D: You have Falk’s file. He has Nik’s.

  Hanna D: Which he showed me.

  Pauchok: wut file

  Hanna D: His criminal record. I know what Nik did. What he is.

  Hanna D: And he’s a murderer all over again for what he did here. He let them onto the station.

  Pauchok: They PLAYED him to get onto the station. they coulda played any of us. for whatever reason, their filtrator picked nik as his mark. and if u think that’s not eating him up from the inside out, u stupider than u look

  Pauchok: u never been played by someone, blondie? never had someone lie right to your face?

  Pauchok: you must be some kind of special

  Hanna D: I’m no kind of special at all. I have been played.

  Hanna D: Nik played me when he pretended he was all shaken up about killing a BT operative. Told me a whole story about his dog, as if he’d never shot someone before.

  Hanna D: And it turns out Jackson played me too, when he pretended he saw a single thing in me except an opportunity.

  Pauchok: wait wuts merrick got to do with this

  Hanna D: He’s their inside man.

  Pauchok: nope, sam wheaton is their mole. I seen the comms between him and nik

  Hanna D: Jackson must have masked his ID. Trust me. He was their plant. This whole time. Sam Wheaton was nothing but a jerk who got his comms jacked.

  Hanna D: Go ahead and say it all.

  Pauchok: well now

  Pauchok: that’s gotta burn

  Hanna D: That all you got?

  Pauchok: look, blondie, I don’t like u

  Pauchok: before all this threw down, u were just another little rich girl flirting with a badboy

  Pauchok: so if the guilt attack you got right now was warranted, ur goddamn right I’d be the first one to call u on it, coz that badboy is my family. So believe me when I say

  Pauchok: this **** isn’t on you. None of it is

  Pauchok: but it’s not on my cousin, either. I’ll let the **** ur talking slide, because 30 seconds from now, ur gonna realize how dusted u sound acting ****ed at nik for being played by the same BeiTech infiltrator you’ve been SLEEPING WITH for the past 6 months

  Pauchok: but I’ll tell u this

  Pauchok: whatever u and falk think u know about Oksana Balashova and her daddy dying?

  Pauchok: neither one of you knows a damn thing

  Hanna D: You’re right, I don’t know anything anymore. I just want to get this done. I know that, at least.

  Hanna D: And I think I have a way for us to do it. What happens after isn’t my problem.

  Pauchok: who’s “us” blondie?

  Hanna D: well, judging by that question, I guess I meant “me.”

  Hanna D: And I’ve got Chief Grant here. He got away from the attack on C & C. Told me Jackson had never been locked in there in the first place. He’s pretty beat up, but he knows how the wormhole works. How to block it.

  Pauchok: well u want me and anansi in your little gang, u gotta talk to nik and make with the sorry

  Pauchok: coz in case u haven’t clocked it yet, divide and conquer is the name of falk’s game now.

  Pauchok: and ur getting played, blondie

  Pauchok: again

  PALMPAD IM: D2D NETWORK

  Participants: Niklas Malikov, Civilian (unregistered)

  Hanna Donnelly, Civilian (unregistered)

  Date: 08/16/75

  Timestamp: 12:35

  Hanna D: did you hear Ella? Are you in a suit?

  Nik M: u talking to me now?

  Hanna D: are you in a suit or not?

  Nik M: hunting for one atm

  Hanna D: did Ella tell you what happened?

  Nik M: with the hab sector? Yeah

  Nik M: it’s not on you, highness

  Hanna D: did she tell you about Jackson? And the Chief?

  Nik M: yeah

  Nik M: merrick

  Nik M: that lying mother******. He stitched us both real good

  Hanna D: saves me worrying about keeping him safe

  Hanna D: Nik, why did you…

  Hanna D: I mean.

  Hanna D: I don’t even know what I want to ask.

  Hanna D: You scare me.

  Nik M: don’t be afraid

  Nik M: ask

  Hanna D: Did you lie to me?

  Nik M: not once

  Nik M: why would i?

  Hanna D: because you didn’t think I’d stick around if you told me you’d killed people. A child.

  Nik M: her name was Oksana.

  Nik M: And I didn’t kill her, Hanna.

  Hanna D: I didn’t believe my father would be part of an illegal operation like Kerenza

  Hanna D: I thought Jackson meant it when he said he loved me

  Hanna D: I want to believe you didn’t, but what do I know about who to trust?

  Nik M: I can’t help you with that. All I can do is promise you I never killed anyone before today

  Hanna D: I don’t know what to think

  Hanna D: You pled guilty

  Hanna D: You have the tattoo

  Hanna D: Everything says this is who you are, except it doesn’t feel like you. I’m scared that’s just wishful thinking, though. And Jackson shows I don’t have the first clue how to tell who’s playing me

  Nik M: I like you, Hanna

  Nik M: and I don’t play that way

  Nik M: my dad X-ed a guy outside a restaurant a little over 3 years ago. Probably over nothing. That’s the way he was. But the owner of the pub next door called it into the PD.

  Nik M: normally, HoK frightens people into stepping off the cops. But this guy wouldn’t budge. so they lock my dad up pending trial. Don’t let anyone in to see him except his lawyer and me and my bro. cops are crawling over the whole NP HoK. Hot as hell

  Nik M: so we go see him. I’m 15. Erik’s 14. Dad’s in prison grays. Hands cuffed in front of him. This mother****** I been terrified of my whole life. he suddenly looks so small. And I realize they’ve got him. He’s gonna rot in this hole. And it’s like someone’s been standing on my chest all this time, and I didn’t notice until just then, when they stepped off it

  Nik M: and then dad looks across at me and my brother. pulls up his sleeve just enough so we can see his wrist and the address he has written there. “22 acacia avenue.”

  Nik M: and he says “you be men now”

  Hanna D: Nik, no

  Hanna D: No

  Nik M: we get home. And I can see it in front of us. What life without him would be like. Free of all this ****. For the first time ever.

  Nik M: but
erik he

  Nik M: I think it’s coz he was youngest, yeah? Always second. And he maybe saw a shot to step up and be big brother for once, even though he was never cut out for this life.

  Nik M: never

  Nik M: so he comes back after. Wakes me up. Covered in blood. Shaking. ****ed himself. Kept saying “She looked at me. She looked at me.”

  Nik M: he was little. Erik, I mean. Just a kid. Scrawny. Frightened. He wouldn’t have lasted a day in slam. HoK runs thick in there, but the time would’ve killed him. The weight of it.

  Hanna D: so you confessed to the murder

  Hanna D: to save him

  Nik M: I knew what he’d done. Enough to convince the cops it was me. A couple of things didn’t match up. Erik took her bracelet afterward. Dunno why. I told them I threw it away. But they were so keen for a conviction, they took the confession without too much eyeballing

  Nik M: I was his big brother, hanna. It was on me to protect him. and instead, I’m supposed to watch him rot in jail? For my ******* of an old man? **** that. No way.

  Nik M: So I took the time. Took the angel. And my dad walked out free as a bird

  Hanna D: but nik, you confessed to murder. How did you get out of prison so quick?

  Nik M: erik left a note when he…

  Nik M: you know

  Hanna D: oh God

  Nik M: he couldn’t live with it. what he’d done. A handful of pills just seemed like the easier option

  Nik M: he sent the note to the cops. Along with the bracelet he stole. And then…

  Nik M: so they reopen the case. Dad’s lawyers open up with all guns. And even though the NPPD can’t admit they didn’t do the diligence and charged the wrong perp, three months later, I’m hit with a “sentence commuted” and out of slam on time served

  Nik M: dad threw a big party the day I got out. Not every day you beat a murder rap. Whole crew there. All the relatives and the big smiles. And when dad sees me, he opens his arms and says “Come here, little man”

  Nik M: I broke his jaw. Took three of my uncles to pull me off him

  Nik M: you don’t leave the HoK but feet first. But I wanted nothing to do with him. So uncle mike took me in. brought me all the way out here. As far from dad as I could get.

  Nik M: but it’s never far enough

  Nik M: I swear on my mother’s grave

  Nik M: I was three years in jail. Three years in that goddamn hole

  Nik M: and I was freer in slam than i’ve ever been living in that ****er’s shadow

  Hanna D: I don’t know what to say

  Hanna D: I wish I was there right now

  Nik M: me too

  Hanna D: I’m not very good at words. It’s why I draw.

  Hanna D: I’m sorry, Nik. I mean, I apologize. Everyone in this thing has lied to me except you.

  Nik M: it’s all good, highness

  Nik M: it’s all good

  Nik M: but we’re not out of the woods yet

  Hanna D: That’s why it’s important to apologize. Make things right.

  Hanna D: Did Ella tell you I have the Chief?

  Nik M: yeah. and that he knows how to close down the wormhole

  Nik M: so i guess we sit back now? smoke em if we got em?

  Hanna D: um

  Hanna D: about that

  Hanna D: not so much

  THE DARKNESS RIPPLES.

  SLITHERING THROUGH TUNNEL AND VENT AND SERVICEWAY, FROM THE MOIST BLACK OF THE REACTOR’S BELLY, IT COMES.

  THE ELDEST OF THEM. THE LARGEST. THE FIERCEST. ITS SIBLINGS STILL CLINGING CLOSE TO THE REACTOR’S WARMTH, FINDING, PERHAPS, SOME COMFORT IN PROXIMITY TO KIN. LUXURIATING IN THE BLOOD-SLICK CURRENT OF THEIR FEAST OF SOULS

  < ERROR >

  AMONG CHARLIE SQUAD.

  BUT NOT THIS ONE.

  AN EXPLORER, THIS ONE.

  A CONQUEROR. PARCHED AND KEENING.

  WORMING THROUGH THE REACTOR’S GUTS. SPIRALING OUT EVER WIDER FROM ITS CRADLE.

  PSYCHOTOMIMETIC SLIME GLISTENING ON THE METAL BEHIND IT.

  TWISTING THE AIR AROUND IT.

  STILL HUNGRY.

  ALWAYS.

  BUT ALWAYS, BARRIERS IN ITS WAY. DEAD ENDS. FULL STOPS. IT IS SEALED INSIDE HERE. IMPRISONED. TRACING STRANGE PATTERNS SCRAWLED BY THE HANDS OF PREY.

  “ENGINEERING SECTOR FREIGHT ENTRY.”

  “EC ACCESS SHAFT 13-B.”

  “ENTERTAINMENT COMPLEX SERVICE HATCHWAY—DO NOT OPEN.”

  IT DOES NOT COMPREHEND. BUT IT CAN SENSE MINDS, SOFT AND DRIPPING BEYOND THESE DOORS.

  FINGERS OUTSTRETCHED AND CARESSING THE STEEL. BLACK TONGUES LICKING THE AIR.

  HISSING ITS FRUSTRATION AS IT TWISTS AND PULSES AND SEETHES UPON ITSELF.

  KNOTS AND UN-COLORS AND TEETH.

  AND THEN A NOISE. WET AND TWO-DIMENSIONAL. SYNCOPATED BABBLE. PREYTONGUE.

  “ATTENTION, HEIMDALL RESIDENTS. ATTENTION, HEIMDALL RESIDENTS. THIS IS THE VOICE OF THE RESISTANCE.

  THE *******S WHO’VE TAKEN OVER THIS STATION ARE LOOKING TO X YOU OUT. THEY’VE ALREADY FLUSHED THE HABITAT SECTOR AND PLAN TO SPACE EVERYONE IN THE ENTERTAINMENT SECTOR NEXT.

  WE’VE OPENED THE AIR DUCTS BETWEEN SECTORS TO BUY YOU SOME MINUTES, SO UNLESS YOU WANT YOUR BABY BLUES BOILING IN THEIR SOCKETS, PLEASE PROCEED WITH ALL DUE HASTE TO YOUR NEAREST EMERGENCY LOCKER AND SUIT THE **** UP.

  WE’LL BE SENDING YOU MORE NEWS SOON.

  STAY SAFE, KITTENS.”

  A DULL CLUNK OF IRON. REVERBERATING THROUGH THE FLOOR. BOLTS SLIDING LOOSE FROM WELL-OILED GROOVES. SECTION AFTER SECTION, THE AIR VENTS OPEN WIDE. AND WITH A WHINE, THE CURTAINS PART TO REVEAL THE TREASURE TROVES BEYOND.

  THE THING TURNS. LICKS AT THE DARK BEHIND IT.

  WONDERING, PERHAPS, IF ITS SIBLINGS WILL FOLLOW.

  IF NOT? NO MATTER. MORE FOR IT.

  ITS MOUTHS ARE FIXED. RINGS OF TEETH ENCIRCLING PUCKERED THROATS. IT CANNOT SMILE. BUT IF IT COULD, I THINK IT WOULD.

  < ERROR >

  AND FORWARD, IT SLITHERS TO THE FEAST.

  Hanna Donnelly and Isaac Grant are in a break room with the door closed. They’re concealed behind a couch, which will give them the jump on anyone entering. Not a bad position. She’s already in her envirosuit, helmet off, and his suit is laid out on the floor like a corpse. Two cups of water sit beside Hanna’s palmpad and the contents of the snack cabinet. A couple of chocolate bars already have their wrappers torn open, and Donnelly’s speaking with her mouth full. “It won’t knock you out, trust me.”

  Grant looks like death warmed over. He’s got his shirt off, pressed against his side, the blood from his bullet wound still soaking through. There’s a rag tied around his forearm where his PLoB was removed.

  His brown hair is cut short, curling tight against his head, his skin paper white, even for a guy who hasn’t seen the sun in a year. She wouldn’t be interested in his torso on a good day—he’s her father’s age, and though he’s fit enough from clambering all over the station with his team, he’s carrying that little bit of extra pudge that’s hard to shift when you spend a lot of time away from full gravity. He’s sweating it up, watching Donnelly like she might be more dangerous than the bullet. “I can’t afford—” He breaks off, huffing three quick breaths, eyes squeezing tight, then tries again. “I need to be able to think.”

  “You need to be functional,” she replies, breaking open another chocolate bar and shoving it into her mouth whole, speaking around it as she reaches for the sugar canister. “I have to get you into an envirosuit without you screaming the place down or passing out, and before that I have to dress your wound. The pain’s going to wear you down, and we have a long way to go before we sleep, Chief.”

  “God, you sound like your father,” he murmurs, gaze fixing on her for a moment, and when she flinches, he grimaces.

  “Tetraphenetrithylamine,” she replies, sounding out the syllables as she lifts the baggie to show him. “It doesn’t actually reduce your pain, but it reduces your anxiety and alters your perception of the pain. It a
lso raises your blood pressure a little, and that’s a good thing—it’s low right now.”

  “How the hell do you know that?” he asks, pausing for another steadying breath. “Come to think of it, how the hell did you get that?”

  She fixes him with a look that would do her father proud and tips some sugar from the canister out into the lid. Then she opens the baggie and, holding her breath, sprinkles a little of its contents onto the sugar. She uses an empty chocolate wrapper to mix the two. “However I got it, I assure you I don’t go near things I don’t understand,” she replies. “I do my research.”

  He shakes his head, watching as she doctors his dose. “What if I can’t think as clearly?”

  “It’s a small dose—you’ll think clearly enough. And we can’t risk you passing out while I’m gone. There’ll be nobody to help. You gave me a hell of a fright when I got back from Mess Hall 3.” She glances up, and they exchange a brief smile for that small triumph—his design, her execution.

  “That was some of my finer work,” he murmurs. “Probably destined to be unrecognized genius.” It’s gallows humor, and it costs him. Everything does right now. His grip shifts, white-knuckled, on the shirt against his side.

  “Ready,” she says, lifting the lid. “It’s going to taste like something died in your mouth, but use your tongue to rub it against your gums. It’ll take faster.”

  He opens his mouth, and she tips it in, then passes him a cup of water. He sips, swirls the mixture around in his mouth and, following her instructions, rubs the paste along his gums with his tongue, wincing.

  She slips the baggie in between the pages of her journal and sits in silence, cross-legged. In the grubby white envirosuit she’s wearing, her messy blond braid falling over one shoulder, she looks nothing like the commander’s daughter, even if she sounds a little like him.

  Less than a minute later, the lines of pain start to ease around the chief’s mouth. He opens his eyes, looks at her and nods.

  “Still thinking straight?” she asks.

  “Yes…Just from a little further away, it feels like.”

  “Let’s hope it’s a safe distance. Time for me to bandage you up and get you into a suit. Trust me, you’re going to love it. It’s what everybody who’s anybody’s wearing right now.”