Skulduggery

by Logan Jacobs

  “No, that sounds perfect,” I said as I stared into his chocolate eyes. “We can probably hitch a ride with someone to make our journey faster.”

  He nodded in agreement and pulled me out the door. I locked it back up and tucked the key in my bodice, then we were off.

  We headed down the busy street, but then Wade stopped beside an open cart filled with an assortment of elixirs. The owner looked like he was packing up, and the cart was facing the direction we wanted to go.

  “Excuse me sir,” Wade implored as he pulled a few coins out of his pocket for the man to see. “My wife and I were looking to hitch a ride back to the forest so we can get back to our farm. Do you mind giving us a lift?”

  “Hop on the back,” the halfling man proclaimed as he snatched the coins from Wade’s hand and gestured for us to climb aboard. “You’re lucky I’m headed that way lad. Otherwise it would have been a long walk for you.”

  “Thank you. My wife and I appreciate it,” Wade said as he lifted me onto its wooden back before he climbed up himself.

  Our halfling driver looked to be about one-hundred-and-sixty years old, or fifty in human years. He wasn’t overly kind to us, but most people who agreed to transport vagrant humans generally weren’t. They only did it to add a few more coins to their pockets, and they didn’t give two shits about what happened to our race.

  Times were tough on everyone. I was fortunate I was born beautiful and with graceful limbs, or my poor family would have sold me into some sort of house slavery.

  We rode in silence, but I caught Wade’s stare on more than one occasion, and I ensured each of his looks was rewarded by a suggestive smile. The ride went by quickly, and my nerves went haywire the closer we came to the forest.

  I really didn’t want to mess this up.

  I wasn’t a thief like Wade, I was only a dancer. I didn’t need to steal because men willingly threw their coins at me with a simple sashay of my hips. I wasn’t much of an actress either. Well, no more of an actress than a beautiful woman had to be to politely ward off advances of men she wasn’t interested in without offending them. But Wade’s confidence gave me hope his plan would work. That, and the sexy half-smile he had plastered on his face.

  “Alright, this is as far as I’m willing to take you lot. Best of luck to you,” the halfling grunted as we hopped off the back.

  “Thank you again for taking us this far,” Wade informed the halfling as he flipped him an extra coin. “My wife and I appreciate it.”

  Then the little man went on his way.

  I led the way into the forest upon the dirt path and offered Wade my hand.

  “If we are to be man and wife you will have to act the part.” I grinned as he took my palm in his own.

  “Are we newlyweds?” he asked with a sly smile.

  “I don’t know, why?” I questioned.

  “Well, newlyweds are known for their passion, and no one would question it if I took you behind that tree over there.” Wade said as he turned to me. “It would be quite a show and really sell our story.”

  Warmth radiated where he took me by the waist and he gently pressed my back against a tree. His lips met mine and my hands tangled in his hair. Our mouths danced as the kiss turned passionate, and my core heated up like a coal in the pit of a fire. My body was trembling against him, and I truly considered fucking him in the woods.

  Then we heard the clip-clop of a horse’s hooves, and Wade playfully nipped my ear before he took my hand and ended our fervent kiss.

  “We will have to continue that after we finish the heist, Mrs. Clayton,” he insisted as I looked up into his deep brown eyes.

  “Let’s see if you can pull this off first before you make me any promises,” I purred and was silently thankful my skirt prevented him from seeing my legs tremble with desire.

  Wade smirked as he reached down and rubbed some dirt on his hands, and then used it on his clothes and body.

  “I know it will work. Here,” he gestured with his open hand, “take this dirt and rub it on your face and clothes. No one will believe our story if we look clean and proper.”

  I did as I was told, despite my aversion to the filth. There was a reason I stayed in the city despite my poor upbringing. I couldn’t stand the idea of toiling away on a farm day in and day out for my entire life. It sounded horrible and far from what I had imagined for myself.

  But I would do whatever Wade needed me to do.

  Wade messed up his perfectly combed hair and left the collar of his shirt unbuttoned to show off his tanned chest. He looked every bit the farm boy he would claim to be, and I did my best to keep my eyes from lingering on the lean muscles of his chest.

  “Stay there.” Wade motioned for me to sit on the log beside him, and I obliged as I ignored the horrific hardened dirt upon my skin.

  Suddenly, a man’s cart rounded the corner.

  The bed of the cart was filled with bags of grain, and the bags were so full the grain was overflowing out the tops of a few of them, probably from when the farmer hit a bump in the road.

  Wade stood and flagged the man down, while I made myself appear small on the log. My farm had just burned down, after all, so I had no reason to appear prideful.

  “Excuse me sir, are ya headed into this here city?” Wade drawled. “Me and the missus need a ride to the Entertainment District to meet her old man. Our farm just up and burnt to the ground cuz’ some orcs came and messed with it. Can ya help us out?”

  I kept my expression neutral, despite my surprise at how Wade switched his tone with such ease.

  “Well, I’m on a grain run to some of my buyers in this here Halfling District, but I can take you folks most of the way. Hop aboard,” the man responded.

  “Much obliged, sir,” Wade said as he took my hand and helped me up into the seat so I was sitting next to the farmer. “My name is Wesley. Wesley Clayton to be exact. And this here is my wife Leia.”

  “My, oh my,” the man said as his eyes fixed upon me. “She’s quite a beautiful creature. Isn’t she?”

  I’d seen the look hundreds of thousands of times, and I could almost see the drool leaking out of the corners of his mouth. I nodded at the man and then glanced at the horses. I was afraid to open my mouth, since I feared my words would give away my city accent.

  “That she is, kind sir,” Wade said pleasantly.

  “My name is Stanley, but y’all can just call me Stan,” the farmer responded, but his eyes stayed glued on me as the horses continued their walk. “So how did y'all meet? You, miss, don’t look like ya from the countryside. Did I hear you say you were married?”

  “Yes, sir,” Wade laughed. “And might I say you have a great eye. It’s a funny story how I met the missus. She was a dancer at that there theater in the Entertainment District, and I thought my eyes had betrayed me when she came out on that there stage. I went home that night and told my dear momma I was gonna marry a city girl, bless her heart, and a month later I sure as hell did.”

  “That’s quite some story there, son,” Stan snickered as his eyes lingered on my bodice. “I’ve been a single man all my life, and it can get quite lonely. Married huh? But you used to be a dancer?”

  “Yeah,” Wade said, and out of the corner of my eye I could see his eyes narrow. “We lost everythin’ else in that there damned orc fire. Everythin’ I worked so damn hard for and now it’s just gone in a puff of that there smoke. It seems surreal, like I’m livin’ in one of them dreamlands.”

  “Well, you do have something you can bargain with,” the man said as he licked his lips slightly. His eyes seemed to devour me, and my skin crawled like a thousand ants were on me.

  “We barely escaped with our lives,” Wade continued his lie, “but my wife thinks she can get her old job back in the Entertainment District. You should come to the theater with us! There are lots of pretty dancers and creatures only the folk tellers know about.”

  “Naw, that’s quite alright kid,” Stan responded warily. “I have me a d
elivery to make before nightfall, and some silly show ain’t gonna bring me any coin.”

  “Sir, the halflings will only pay ya half as much for your grain as the bakeries in the Entertainment District. Ain’t that right darlin’?” Wade asked me.

  I nodded my head “yes” in response, but I could tell the man had become more suspicious of us as the ride continued. Then he glanced over at our clothes as he pursed his lips.

  “She don’t talk much,” he said.

  “My wife ain’t that comfortable with new people,” Wade replied with a casual laugh.

  “Maybe I can do something to make her more comfortable?” Stan snickered. “Did you say you lost everything? She’s quite a looker, and a few silver might make both of your lives easier when you get to the city. I imagine I won’t last that long with her, so it will be the quickest coin ya ever made.”

  I wanted to smack the disgusting man across his ugly face, but I knew that would ruin Wade’s plan, so I slowly inhaled and bowed my head so the country bumpkin wouldn’t see the anger in my eyes.

  “We thank you for the ride,” Wade said, “but I’m afraid we’ll have to pass on that. My wife is confident that she can fi--”

  “I think y’all might be tryin’ to swindle me,” Stan growled, and his face darkened suddenly. “She’s much too pretty for a simple farm boy, and I haven’t heard of any orc attacks recently. I’ve been in this business for years, and I’ve never heard of any bakery in that district givin’ a driver a decent wage for his grain. So, if you aren’t going to let me wet my dick between her legs, I think it be best if y’all get off here and find someone else to take ya the rest of the way to that there district.”

  It was time for me to act and show Wade my usefulness with manipulating men.

  “Sir, I know I’m not from the countryside,” I said as I laid my hand on Wade’s leg and fluttered my eyelashes at Stan, “but I have lived in the city for most of my life. I do know men have insatiable needs, and the theater is a great place to have them fulfilled. I know several of the dancers, some who are as pretty as me, who will gladly give you a private show after the public routine is finished.”

  “Ya do?” he asked as his mouth turned up into an ugly grin.

  “Yes, and once you’re done being delighted, I can recommend a bakery in the district that will guarantee you top coinage for your product.” I let a coy smile flicker across my lips. “That is, of course, after you’re thoroughly pleasured.”

  His eyes widened as my seductive words wormed their way into his head. I’d woven my spell, and my eyes had done the rest.

  He adjusted himself as he mulled over the thought, but I knew I had hypnotized him.

  “Alright, I will go to this here show y'all keep ramblin’ on about if you introduce me to some of them pretty dancers afterward,” Stan said as he ran a hand through his balding earthen hair. “And y’all can promise the coin is better there than the Halfling District?”

  “I can promise you we never disappoint, and it’s all free except for the coin to enter the show,” I purred as I stared into his hazel eyes.

  “What’s the name of the baker?” he asked, but I could tell by the look in his eyes he was already going to agree.

  “Simonaz,” I said. “His bakery is on the corner of Tile and Iron Street. It’s the green painted building.” My words were half truths. There was a baker named Simonaz on that street corner, but he was known to be a cheat and beater of women, and I doubted he’d give Stan a fair price for the bags. Either way, both men were scum, and I felt no qualms about setting their destinies toward each other.

  “Alright then,” Stan grunted as he gave me a final lecherous look. Then he turned back to the horses and cracked his riding whip to increase their speed.

  We drove for a while longer as we continued to the Entertainment District, and I falsely answered all of Stan’s questions about the dancers so he would seem like an idiot if he tried to ask anyone about a private showing. Finally, we made our way past the gates, through the busy crowds, and pulled into the lot behind the colossal theater.

  “Just pay at the door,” I instructed as Wade helped me step down from the wagon. “We are going to go give a quick hello to a few of my friends and let them know there is a special guest in the audience. We will meet you inside once the show is about to start.”

  “I’ll meet y’all folks inside then,” Stan laughed as he jumped off the cart and headed for the entrance to the theater. “I can’t believe it. A country man like me and one of them there dancing city girls? Can’t wait to get my dick wet.”

  “That was a wonderful performance today, Mrs. Clayton, if I do say so myself,” Wade whispered once the farmer was out of earshot.

  “Me?” I laughed. “What about you with that accent? I don’t think I could have pulled it off.”

  “Ehhh,” Wade grunted as he shot a look back to where the farmer had walked. “I almost gutted him on the way here. Probably should have. It would have solved a lot of problems, and the asshole deserved it. I couldn’t believe what he said to you.”

  “You don’t seem like a murderer,” I replied.

  “I’ll do whatever it takes to get what I want or protect what is mine,” Wade said. Then his dark eyes fixed on my face, and I felt my blood pump through my body in doubletime.

  “Now, how do you plan to manage this before the show starts?” I whispered as I gestured to the wagon of grain.

  “Easy,” he said as he directed the horses across the street to the old elephant stables. “I will dump each bag into one of the old elephant tubs and then together we will head over to the stables and mix them with sawdust. Do you think you could lift a bag? I know they can be quite heavy.”

  “I think I can manage,” I informed him as I reached for one of them. It was pretty heavy, but I was used to doing handstands, acrobatics, and ring lifts for various dance performances, so I was able to get it up on my shoulders without fault.

  I was too short to pour the bags into the iron tubs, so Wade did that job while I transported the bags from the cart. We were done much faster than I expected, and then we drove over to the stables where the Count kept the sawdust.

  “How did you want to do this?” I asked. “One of us adds the sawdust and the other mixes?”

  Wade nodded. “Yeah, just like how we did with the tubs. You add the sawdust, and I’ll mix.”

  I knew our time had ran out as the chaos within the theater was in full swing. Count Kieran might be mad I wasn’t there for today’s show, but I knew one of the girls would concoct a lie for me.

  I shoveled sawdust into the bags as Wade shoved his well-defined arms into them and mixed the last few bags of grain in. When I’d finished with my job, I helped Wade with his. The work was hard, and my arms felt like cooked noodles when we’d finished.

  Then Wade drove the farmer’s cart back to its original spot, and we ran back around the theatre to the old stables before Stan realized we had no desire to meet him inside. I doubted Stan would notice the difference in the grain, but there was a connection to me through the theater group, and I hoped it wouldn’t come back to bite me.

  But Wade did say he protected what was his.

  Was I his? I certainly wanted to be, and I hoped my actions today earned me a place in his budding empire.

  “Wade, what you did today was amazing,” I complimented as I stripped off the sweat-drenched clothes and clicked the chastity belt back around my naked waist. “But I don’t know what you would have done without me though, as my charm saved the day.”

  “You’re right,” he chuckled. “He couldn’t help but stare at your outstanding figure. But what about what almost happened before he arrived in the woods?”

  “Hmmm?” I slipped my silk dancer’s outfit over my head as he pulled on his trousers.

  “You know,” he purred as his dark eyes roamed over my body. “The kiss in the forest. I wanted more, and it seemed like you did, too.”

  “Maybe.” I winked at him.r />
  “Then maybe you should take that belt back off,” he said as he gestured to my hips.

  “Unfortunately, not all of us have the day off to gallivant across the districts,” I confessed with an over exaggerated pout. “I have another show to get to, and I also need to explain to the Count why I missed this one. If you ever need anything, don’t be afraid to ask. I wouldn’t mind being Mrs. Clayton again. It had a nice ring to it.”

  “But, I, uhhh we, uhh--”

  “Till next time, Wade,” I said as I waved my fingers back over my shoulder.

  Then I walked out the door and back across the street to the theater. I didn’t dare look back, as I feared I might just change my mind and take him up on his offer.

  Did I have him hooked?

  I hoped so.

  Chapter 11

  After Cimarra declined my offer, I decided to spend the remainder of my day cleaning the stables and readying the grain to make whiskey. I wanted it to be set to go, so when I found a way to steal the copper pipes I needed, I would be able to brew that day. I added the water the grain needed to germinate from stolen barrels I filled up in the river, and then I figured I would come back in a few days to start the fermentation process.

  I spent those next few days thieving for Hagan to abate his anger and made a few runs by the apothecary to case the joint. In preparation to cook my mash, I’d stolen a few bags of coal from someone’s cart in the Halfling District, a bag of turbo yeast from the bakery, and I gathered a few more barrels of water.

  When I had more free time, I came back to the elephant tub, filled with the germinated grain, and used a makeshift wooden club to ground the grain until it was crushed to perfection. Then, I added more water, heated it to a boil, and stirred the mixture as I added the right amount of yeast.

  When it was finished, I replaced the lid on the vat. I figured by the time I stole the pipes, my fermented wash would be ready to make whiskey. Part of me wanted Dar or Penny to be present when I did all this work, but I knew getting them involved in the actual stilling process was step one-hundred in my plan, and we were all still working on step eleven.