Your New Best Friend

by Jayne Denker

  "Good girl," Leo called out from beside her. "Keep your head. You've got this."

  Erin's chin jutted up half an inch. She looked to her right, straight into the camera. Her eyes narrowed. "You're right. I do."

  A soft breeze wafted across the damp skin of her back. It felt like gentle fingers supporting her, urging her to keep moving. And that was the moment she knew she'd clinched it.

  I do have this.

  She'd conquer this rock the same way she'd conquered forty-one other goals in the last five and a half years. One step at a time. She didn't look up, didn't look down. She just straightened her back, steeled her nerves, and took the next step up the mountain.

  The next step toward Ben.

  * * *

  Two years, four months earlier…

  Date: December 26

  Age: 31 and a half

  Time to 35: 3 years, 5 months, 2 weeks

  List Item: N/A…you'll see what I mean

  Happy day-after-Christmas, readers! I have exciting news…Ben & I are engaged!!! After 24 years of friendship followed by the best year and a half of my life, my brilliant, loving, handsome, funny, and thoughtful boyfriend asked me to be his wife.

  It happened on Christmas Eve. We were on our way to visit my parents, who still live in the neighborhood where Ben and I grew up. Instead of driving straight there, he pulls into the parking lot of our high school and drives around to the track. I have no idea what's coming. (OK, maybe I have a teensy bit of an idea.) When we get out of the car, Ben grabs a box out of the trunk and starts walking. As we approach the track I see a round table with a white tablecloth and two chairs near the finish line. (How did he set this up? I still don't know, but I imagine my family was involved.)

  Ben opens the box and sets the table with candles, napkins, plates, and silverware, even a vase of red and white roses. Next he pulls out a bakery box containing two slices of white chocolate caramel cheesecake…potentially my favorite food item of all time. (I mean, why wouldn't it be?) He pulls out his iPod and starts playing our song, "No One's Gonna Love You" by Band of Horses. Then he takes a small box out of his pocket and kneels in front of me right as I start to cry. And now I'm not only in love with my best friend, but I'm going to marry my best friend…

  OK, pass the tissues because now I'm crying again. :)

  I have more news to share today! Because of the way our lives have changed, I've decided to incorporate our wedding and honeymoon into my 35 by 35 bucket list, and so as of today, the list is slightly different. To recap in case you're new to This Is 35, I'm checking off a list of 35 things I want to do, see, or experience before I turn 35. I created the list after completing a similar bucket list before I turned 30. As an added challenge, this time I'm completing the items chronologically, in the order they appear on the list. And so, without further ado, here's my revised list* of 35 things I plan to do before I turn 35:

  1. Become a Big Sister

  2. Join a yoga class

  3. See inside a volcano

  4. Brew a craft beer

  5. Teach a college class

  6. Plant an herb garden

  7. Volunteer in a soup kitchen

  8. Take a painting class

  9. Go on a mission trip

  10. Learn to water-ski

  11. Do the Paleo diet

  12. Visit Singapore & Thailand

  13. Learn Krav Maga

  14. Go rock-climbing

  15. Get hitched*

  16. Rent a Tuscan villa*

  17. Learn to cook

  18. Complete a triathlon

  19. Take ballroom dancing lessons

  20. Start a screenplay

  21. Go to Disney

  22. Finish Shattered series

  23. Throw an '80s party

  24. Start a compost bin

  25. Visit Stonehenge

  26. Give away half my wardrobe

  27. Go commando

  28. Make a gourmet meal

  29. Finally buy new living room furniture

  30. Donate my hair

  31. Dance on a bar top

  32. See the Grand Canyon

  33. Play table games in Vegas

  34. Join the mile-high club

  35. Get pregnant*

  I had to cut out a few items to fit in the newbs (I'll be saving "Land a syndication deal," "Start a nonprofit," and "Island hop in Greece" for the 40 by 40 list…those are ambitious, and the current list is challenging enough as it is.), but I'm even more excited about the list now. A wedding! An Italian honeymoon! Trying for a baby! Big things to come for This Is 35, guys. I'm super excited to share our adventures with all of you.

  * * *

  Back to present…

  Erin checked her phone screen for the twenty-second time in the last half hour. Damn it, where is he? Why hasn't he texted yet?

  "Still no Ben?"

  Erin jumped. She hadn't heard Sherri, her best friend, former roommate, and matron of honor, come up beside her. She glanced up from her phone.

  "No, he still hasn't texted. He's got to be at the airport by now." Erin's normally chirpy voice was strained.

  "Well, no worries," Sherri said. "This is Ben we're talking about. He's the most reliable person I've ever known. There's no way he's going to miss the flight to his own wedding."

  Erin shuddered. Hearing Sherri voice her biggest fear out loud made the possibility seem more real. She looked around to see who was in hearing distance—no one—and said in a low voice, "Do you think maybe he got cold feet?"

  Sherri scoffed. "Ben?" She gaped at Erin as if trying to gauge if she was serious. "He's been trying to get you down the aisle for, what, two years now? Three? You're the one I didn't think was ever going to go through with it."

  Erin shrugged. "You know I couldn't help it," she said. "I had to get through items one through fourteen on the list first. Get married is number fifteen."

  Sherri rolled her eyes. "Your life is not a reality show."

  The corner of Erin's lip turned up, and she gave Sherri a long look that said she was missing something obvious.

  "Well, actually, it is." She gestured at the people standing in clusters around the room. Scattered among her relatives and friends were crew members from YOLO, the TV show for which Erin was a co-executive producer. And this season, actor.

  Sherri followed Erin's hands with her gaze. "Oh, yeah." She giggled and then looked back at Erin, narrowing her big blue eyes. "Well, you've been procrastinating, anyway. How long did it take you to get through those first fourteen items? Three years? Three and a half? No wonder he's been impatient." Sherri paused and then, noticing Erin's preoccupied frown, continued, "Ben will be here. He wouldn't miss marrying you for the entire world. He'd move this whole mountain first."

  Erin allowed herself a tiny smile. Sherri was right—about all of it. Ben wouldn't stand her up at the altar. And she hadn't meant to procrastinate so much on completing the list. It was just that one day she was turning thirty and felt like her life was starting. New relationship, new career, new apartment, and then finally, new engagement. And in the midst of all of it, she'd landed a new job…YOLO.

  Before Erin knew it a year had gone by, and she was thirty-one. And then another flew by, and she was thirty-two. Months felt like weeks. Weeks felt like days.

  Eventually she'd come to regret the "chronological order" stipulation of her list. She knew Ben would have preferred to get married sooner. She'd thought when she'd made the revised list that No. 15 was pretty high in the pecking order. At the time she'd already scratched off four items. She hadn't counted on the new job and all those other new things making it so difficult to complete numbers five through fourteen.

  And of course, she hadn't counted on YOLO throwing a hurdle onto her track by asking her to join the cast of the show. The last three years with YOLO had gone by in a blink. And then wedding planning had swallowed up the last twelve to fifteen months of it.

  Erin repeated Sherri's words in her head. Ben wil
l be here. He wouldn't miss marrying you for the entire world. But then again, he wasn't here now, was he? He hadn't been on that cliff face with her this afternoon like he was supposed to be. What if his emergency at work wasn't actually an emergency? What if, now that the big moment was finally here, he was trying to find a way out?

  She was on the verge of hyperventilation when a soft hand on Erin's arm pulled her out of her spiral of panic. "Ack. Hi, Mom." Erin's mother, Joanne, plowed ahead in her no-nonsense way. From her quivering curls to the spark in her green eyes, Joanne was energy in a loosely capped bottle. One look at her, and it was clear where Erin had inherited her drive.

  "Hon, that camera guy, Leo? He wants to shoot the rehearsal dinner. He asked me because he said he figured I'd be more likely to talk you into it than he would." Erin's mom grinned. "Your crew obviously knows you pretty well."

  "But Mom," Erin said, unable to keep the stress out of her voice, "Ben isn't here yet. A wedding rehearsal scene will look weird without the groom." She gave her mom a pointed look. "There's a saying in my industry: 'If it didn't happen on camera, it didn't happen.' And trust me when I tell you Leo filming the rehearsal is not going to happen." A nagging voice in her head—her story producer's voice, not her nervous bride voice—told her she was making the wrong call. A rehearsal without Ben wouldn't look weird. It'd look like great TV. If this weren't her scene, if it weren't her own wedding, she'd be all about getting dramatic footage of the no-show groom, capturing every play of emotion on the frantic bride's face.

  Ugh. Who am I?

  "He's just flying out now, right? There's no way he'll make it in time for the rehearsal or the dinner." Erin's mom paused. "You're the one who signed up to do the show, remember? You made your bed. Go roll around in it."

  Erin scowled. She'd also inherited her mom's pragmatism. But it still wasn't fun when Joanne used it against her. "Shouldn't I be the one who gets to be Bridezilla?" she complained. "Maybe that's a new reality show concept—Momzilla of the Bride."

  "Don't shoot the messenger." Her mother reached up and pushed a strand of hair from Erin's cheek. She stared at her daughter for a long moment. "He'll be here, honey. Don't worry. This is Ben we're talking about. He's always been there for you."

  "I know." Erin glanced away, avoiding her mom's eyes. She shifted from foot to foot, caught between separate urges to sink to the floor or bolt from the room. She settled for changing the subject.

  "I have to figure out a way to keep Leo and his guys out of the room," she said. "He is not filming my wedding rehearsal without Ben here, even if I have to use a stand-in bride and bar the door myself." Her roving gaze landed on her field producer, whose sturdy build, rugged demeanor, and ruddy complexion fit in well in California's most renowned outdoor playground. He was leaning against a square cedar column, watching them, and Erin's eyes narrowed.

  She was preparing to stomp over and have it out with him when Sherri put a hand on Erin's shoulder. Erin had almost forgotten she was standing there—she'd backed up a step or two, nursing a glass of white wine while Erin talked to her mom.

  "Look what the breeze just blew in."

  Erin followed Sherri's gaze to the set of sliding doors at the entrance to the lobby of the rustic ski lodge that was housing her wedding party. Her stomach dropped by a few centimeters. Of course. Of course Hilary would arrive just in time to witness Erin's discomfort.

  "I thought you weren't inviting her."

  "She almost didn't," Erin's mom said before excusing herself.

  Erin turned to Sherri and grimaced.

  "I really wrestled with it. But I felt like it was petty of me to not invite her to my wedding after all the years we've known each other. We've been friends since we were in diapers." Erin paused, glancing at the doorway, and her stomach gave a nervous jolt. "I was maid of honor in her wedding, remember? And she asked me to be Rowan's godmother. I couldn't not invite her."

  "The heck you say." Sherri screwed up her lips and turned her back to the doorway where Hilary was still standing, a collection of designer bags at her feet. She was looking around for a bellman to take things off her hands.

  Erin suppressed a chuckle. The lodge was nice, but it was more of a condo rental than a full-service hotel. She'd arranged the entire stay, and the wedding, for that matter, through the show, garnering a media rate for the wedding party and crew—and her own unit for free—in exchange for coverage on her blog and exposure on YOLO. It was the way of the world these days.

  Erin angled her body away from the doorway, lest Hilary spot her and try to dump the whole lot of luggage on her. It wouldn't be the first time she'd added to Erin's baggage.

  "I wonder if she's bringing the kids?" Erin said in a low voice. In the five years she'd been married, Hilary had delivered two babies, a boy first and then a girl—both blond-haired, blue-eyed, and photogenic, as if they'd been custom ordered from a Restoration Hardware catalog. It was so Hilary.

  "I don't even see Mark," Sherri said.

  "Hmm," Erin said. "I'm sure she wouldn't let him get out of coming with her. He's always been her yes-man."

  Erin still couldn't believe Mark had forgiven Hilary the second time she'd cheated on him, just months before their wedding—with Erin's boyfriend at the time, no less. Even though she'd gone through with her part in Hilary's wedding, their closeness had evaporated since then, to the point that Erin rarely saw her anymore.

  Still, she'd sent Hilary the invitation knowing she'd come, despite the distance—if not to show support for their years of friendship, then because she knew it would get her on TV. Erin might have forgiven her old friend, but unlike in her younger years, she viewed Hilary with open eyes.

  "Whew, we're off the hook, for now."

  Erin turned. Hilary's blonde head was bobbing toward the reception desk at the far end of the lobby. She was tottering on high-heeled peep-toe booties and making a show of wrestling with her obscenely large Louis Vuitton suitcase.

  Erin rolled her eyes but started toward her. "I invited her," she said to Sherri. "I should at least go and say hi."

  She didn't get the chance, though, because in her peripheral vision Erin spotted Leo heading her way. She stopped mid-step, jutting her chin and standing a little straighter. Before he even got all the way to her, she spun toward him, leveled him with an even gaze, and said, "No."

  He put his hands out in a plaintive gesture. "Then what am I here for? I came all the way to California to shoot this thing."

  "You're enjoying this company-paid trip to California to film my rock climbing adventure and my wedding," Erin shot back. "Tonight's not the wedding. It's just the rehearsal. And Ben isn't here yet."

  Leo's eyes crinkled at the corners. He clearly enjoyed Erin's pique. "What's the story with that?" His casual tone raised her hackles even more.

  "You know the story," she said. "He had to take a later flight because of an emergency at work." Erin fought to keep the panic that was bubbling in her stomach out of her voice.

  "Yeah, but shouldn't his flight have landed by now?"

  Ha! Don't I wish? Erin resisted the urge to slide her phone out of her right hip pocket again. Ben's flight had been scheduled to depart DFW forty-five minutes ago. And yet he hadn't texted, hadn't called, and hadn't answered the voicemail or any of the five texts she'd sent trying to get an ETA. She just had to hope he was in the air right now, that he hadn't found a moment to text before he was ordered to turn off his phone. Maybe he ran late to the airport. Maybe he had a long security line. Maybe…

  "He should be en route right now," she said, cutting off her desperate mental list of excuses. "He'll be landing around eight."

  "Cuttin' it a little close." Leo's eyes were all but dancing now. "I'm a risk-taking man, but even I know better than to cross a bride on her wedding day."

  "It's not my wedding day yet," Erin said, mentally patting herself on the back for keeping her cool. "And he will be here. He lands at eight," she added, emphasizing the last word. "And whether
he's here or not, I don't want footage for the show of my rehearsal or rehearsal dinner. That's private. It's for family." She prayed he wouldn't call her bluff. After all, her face might be on TV these days, but she was no actress.

  "Families are the hottest ticket on TV," he said, and Erin couldn't help but chuckle. Leo had filmed three seasons of Keeping Up with the Kardashians. The crew of her show, You Only Live Once, better known as YOLO, had spent several hilarious happy hours listening to Leo's stories about that hot mess. By the time everybody'd had a few drinks, it didn't even matter if the stories were true.

  "Not my family. We're super boring. No sex tapes. No transgender parental figures. No rehab stints or DUI convictions. Not even a traffic violation."

  "Methinks thou dost protest too much." Leo's eyes were twinkling again, but Erin figured she was out of the danger zone. And then her phone started vibrating in her pocket.

  She reached for it so fast she accidentally knocked Sherri's arm with her elbow, splashing a few drops of her cherry red cocktail onto Sherri's off-white sweater dress.

  "Oof," Sherri said.

  "I'm so sorry," Erin said as her phone clattered to the floor. It landed faceup, and as she bent to retrieve it from the patterned carpet, she saw that it was Ben's name flashing across the screen. "Oh, thank God."

  She snatched the phone up and swiped the screen to answer, but she was too late. Missed call. "Crap," she muttered, and then her brain caught up with her eyes. If Ben was calling her from his cell—right now—that meant he wasn't in the air.

  Sherri gaped at Erin, paying no attention to the spreading pink splotches on her dress, her face mirroring Erin's shock.

  Erin swiveled on a heel and searched for a quiet corner, all the while fumbling to call Ben back. The call immediately went to voicemail, and she was cursing to herself when she realized both Sherri and Leo were following her. She held up one finger and ducked into an open meeting room with the lights turned off. Sherri and Leo exchanged a concerned look, but they didn't follow her in.