Long-Lost Mom

by Jill Shalvis

  “I worked everywhere I went. You’d be surprised how cheaply you can live.”

  “No, I wouldn’t,” he said flatly, reminding her that in the beginning at least, he’d struggled, too. “You never stayed anywhere long. I would have found you.”

  “Any ties felt... traitorous.”

  “To Sara?”

  “Yes. And to you.”

  He nodded as if that made sense and turned back to the door. Head bent, wide shoulders tense, his hand still on the knob, he didn’t move. Discontentment rolled from him.

  With all her heart Jenna wished she could ease it, but he had to make the decision to trust her again himself. All she could do now was be here for him and never waver. But she wanted so badly to wrap her arms around him and never let go. “Stone—”

  “I’ve got to get back to work.” He yanked the door open, but instead of vanishing, he just stood there, watching the rain. “I thought about you. Every day. I hate like hell that I did, but it’s a fact.”

  She came up behind him, heart aching. “I thought about you, too.”

  The rain continued to hold his attention, the stiffening of his spine the only sign he’d heard her.

  “I did,” she said softly. “Every single day, just like you.”

  “You should have called.”

  “I...couldn’t.”

  “Written, then.”

  “I know.”

  “We can’t go back, Jenna.” And with that he left. shutting out the day, the rain, the man.

  Jenna sighed, heart heavy. Of course she should have contacted him. After all, he was a man who would never turn his back on anyone.

  How could she expect him to understand her cowardice when he didn’t have a cowardly bone in his body?

  But maybe, just maybe, she was changing. She went into the little bathroom, flipped on the harsh light, and when she could open her eyes to the glare, she stared at herself for long moments.

  No doubt, she didn’t look the same as she once had. So why was it so hard to believe she didn’t act the same? Certainly the old Jenna would never have stuck this out, not in the face of such overwhelming odds. Yet she hadn’t left, hadn’t even had the urge to run since that night she’d come clean with Stone.

  Jenna smiled, enjoying the sight of herself for the first time since her surgery. She was changing—she was getting stronger. She was becoming the sort of woman she’d always wanted to be—one who stood up for what she believed in.

  She believed in love.

  She believed in herself, and in forgiving herself, too.

  And most exciting of all, she believed in being part of a family with Sara and Stone.

  If only Stone could believe it, too.

  Stone looked down at his daughter. They were standing by the front door ready to go.

  And late as usual.

  Stone sighed and restated the problem. “So you’re telling me you had your report finished, and it was in your book bag. Then at some point in my office yesterday it just vanished?”

  “Not vanished,” Sara said with a shake of her head. “Stolen.”

  “Stolen,” he repeated dubiously.

  “Cindy did it.”

  Stone lifted a brow as he studied Sara. They were rushing to get ready for school and work—again. Somehow his alarm hadn’t gotten through to his exhausted brain, and no wonder. He hadn’t fallen asleep until near dawn.

  His life felt a little out of control at the moment, and he hated that. There were so many things consuming him. Richard gone forever, giving him no chance to ever resolve their differences. That was hard enough to accept, but then there were his parents, suddenly interested in forging a new relationship, at least with Sara.

  Yet neither of those things even began to touch on his biggest problem.

  Jenna.

  At just the thought of her, emotions swamped him. Anger, yes. But worry, too, because he still had to figure out how to tell Sara about her, not to mention how the hell he felt about it all.

  He was afraid he was doing as Jenna had told him he would. He was beginning to trust her—and it truly terrified him.

  Now Sara wouldn’t meet his gaze, and as she stood there under his scrutiny, she kept shifting uneasily from foot to foot—a clear sign of trouble.

  “You can do better than that,” he said.

  She lifted her head, eyes wide, the picture of innocence. “Cindy stole my report.”

  “Sara.”

  “She did!”

  Stone squatted before her and put his hands on her waist “Honey, she’s not a thief.”

  “She is so.” Big fat tears welled in Sara’s eyes. “She’s a daddy thief. Ever since she came to town you’ve been too busy for me.”

  “Oh, baby.” Tugging her close, Stone enveloped her in a hug. “I’m sorry you feel that way. I’m never too busy for you. Never.”

  Her next words were muffled in his shirt, the second time this week he’d made the mistake of wearing a light-colored shirt while holding a sobbing female. “We lost our game yesterday and you didn’t even seem to mind,” she wailed.

  “I minded.” Sitting on the foyer floor, he pulled her into his lap, then tipped up her chin. “But all of you tried your best, right?”

  “Yeah.” She sniffed and wiped her nose on her clean sleeve.

  Stone rolled his eyes, pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and handed it to her, knowing it could have been worse—she could have wiped her nose on his sleeve. “Try this, sweetheart.”

  She blew noisily, then handed him back his now soggy handkerchief. Stoically he balled it up and tossed it aside, silently thanking Mrs. Potts, who would undoubtedly pick it up, wash it and even iron it for him. “So if you tried your best,” he wondered out loud, “why should I make you feel worse by yelling at you guys?”

  “I dunno.”

  “Sara, about your report—”

  “Don’t worry.” She hugged him back now and offered a watery smile. “The school is pretty crazy. No one’ll notice my missing report.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Mr. Ridgeway got caught kissing Mrs. Taylor, the new second-grade teacher.”

  “Your kidding!” Of course she wasn’t. Even Sara couldn’t have made that story up. “What happened?”

  “Mr. Taylor found them playing tonsil hockey in the storage closet and punched Mr. Ridgeway’s lights out. Now Mrs. Taylor and Mr. Ridgeway are gonna lose their jobs, I think.”

  “Tonsil hockey?” Stone asked, shocked at what his ten-year-old daughter knew.

  “Yeah.” She frowned. “I’m not exactly sure what that is, but it sounds pretty gross.”

  “I see,” Stone said solemnly, but he couldn’t contain his wide grin. “They’re in big trouble, huh?”

  “Yup.”

  His first thought was that Jenna would love this.

  “Daddy, don’t fall in love with her!” Sara squeezed him tight and begged him with her baby blues. “Please, don’t.”

  “Sara—”

  “She didn’t really steal my stuff,” Sara admitted, blinking another huge teardrop down her distressed face.

  “Really,” Stone said dryly as he patted her back. “Look, honey, I understand how you feel, but you can’t go around making up stories like that. We’re close enough that you can tell me anything. No lies, okay?”

  Sara stared at her shoes.

  He tipped up her chin. “’Kay?”

  “’Kay,” she whispered. “I’m sorry. She’s really...sort of nice, I guess. Even when I’m not.”

  “So if she’s nice, what’s the problem?”

  “It’s Mommy.”

  His heart stopped. “What about her?”

  “When she comes back, she won’t want you if you’re married to someone else.”

  Oh, boy.

  Before he could figure out how to deal with this unexpected turn of events, the bus pulled up and honked.

  “Sara, wait,” he said when she leaped to her feet. “After
school we need to talk about this. About your mom.”

  With the maturity of someone much older, Sara’s gaze searched his face. “You know,” she breathed. “You know where she is. Don’t you!”

  “Yes, honey, I do.”

  “You promised to tell me!”

  “I just found out, and I’m telling you now, like I promised I would.”

  “When do I get to see her?” Horror and hope and fear crossed her face all at once. “She does want to see me, doesn’t she?”

  “More than anything in the world.” Jenna had promised to abide by his decision about Sara, and that had gone a long way toward allowing him to trust her, but Stone no longer felt he had the right to keep them separated. Sara needed her mother. “If it all goes as planned, then you’ll see her after school.”

  Sara bounced off toward the bus looking happier than Stone could ever remember. “Love you, Dad!” she called over her shoulder, waving wildly.

  Dad?

  When had she stopped calling him Daddy? He stood there, torn between joy and sorrow. His baby was growing up.

  Dad.

  He rubbed the grittiness from his tired eyes, startled to feel moisture there. As the bus pulled away, he caught sight of Sara’s beaming face in the window.

  She loved him.

  With all his heart he hoped she still felt that way when she found out the truth. When she learned the woman she thought of as Cindy was really her mother. When she realized how her father had fallen for both.

  It was infuriating that he still harbored a fear of Jenna hurting him, but he knew why. Nothing in his life had hurt as badly as when Jenna had left him.

  But even that fear wasn’t enough to keep him from what he suddenly wanted with all his heart.

  Jenna, back in his and Sara’s life.

  Kristen poured the hot tea, smiling through the rising steam at Jenna. “It’s all over the papers.”

  “And on the news,” Jenna added, unable to hold back a wide grin. “Just think, Rand Ridgeway finally got caught with his zipper down.”

  They burst into laughter.

  “I just wish,” Kristen said, sobering, “that he could have gotten in trouble sooner—ten years sooner.”

  “Better late than never.” Jenna refused to continue to run her life on bitterness or anger. Instead, she was concentrating on the things that mattered—loyalty, affection... love.

  “I like your new look,” Kristen said softly. “Not the hair, silly,” she said with a laugh when Jenna tucked a strand behind her ear. “The inner look you’ve been sporting lately. All that new belief in yourself and the people around you. It really shows, honey. You’ve changed. And it looks good on you.”

  Uncomfortable with the compliment, Jenna shifted her weight uneasily. “Maybe you could tell that to Stone. And Sara, while you’re at it.”

  “Is she warming up to you yet?”

  “Not exactly.” Jenna grimaced when she took a sip of the tea, then added a generous helping of sugar. “Yesterday she called me a dork when I tripped.”

  “I love you—you know that now.” Kristen’s eyes sparkled with good humor. “So I can say this—you’re not exactly graceful. Remember the time you took a swan dive, down that flight of stairs at school? Landed on your tush right in front of Bobby Parker?”

  And a million other kids, who’d laughed at her for weeks. One more thing in a very long list that had added up to zero self-confidence. “Very funny,” Jenna said, remembering her past humiliation. “But the truth is, Sara booby-trapped me with a long piece of string. I nearly killed myself in there yesterday. Then she told Stone I tripped her—on purpose.”

  “Really? What did Stone say?”

  “He told her to watch her big old feet more.”

  “He stuck up for you.”

  “Yeah, but don’t get excited. He still isn’t exactly thrilled with me.” Although, she had to admit, he never let it show in front of Sara. He always treated her with the utmost courtesy and made sure Sara did the same. Even in the sticky situation of keeping the truth from his daughter, he never wavered in doing what he believed was right. “That girl has an attitude to match...well, quite frankly, it matches her father’s.”

  Jenna’s office front door had opened with a blast of chilly morning air just as she finished her sentence. Too late she realized why Kristen’s eyes were wide with warning and that the tall shadow behind her meant the worst possible thing had just occurred.

  Stone had heard her.

  Grimacing, she turned to face him. “Oh. It’s you.”

  “Attitude and all,” he said with a mock salute.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s all right,” he assured her, shutting the door, “especially when you mean it.” He leaned back against the wood and gave her a look so divided between sizzling passion and annoyed fury, she didn’t know if she was excited or terrified.

  He didn’t waste time on pleasantries, although he did pause to glare at Kristen. “Well, now your being here makes sense.” He shook his head. “Hope you had a good laugh, both of you.”

  “No,” Kristen said quickly. “We never did that.”

  He looked at Jenna, and whether he realized it or not, his expression softened slightly. “However it happened, I’m glad you have her. Family is everything.” Voice grim, he crossed his arms. “It’s time, ladies.”

  “For what?” Jenna asked, her pulse hammering ridiculously.

  “To tell Sara.” He stalked with a sort of lethal grace over to the teapot and poured himself a cup, which he brought unsweetened to his lips.

  “It’s too soon,” Jenna protested weakly, forcing her gaze to his. “She doesn’t like me. If you tell her now, she’ll like me even less.”

  “You started this, Jenna. You came here without being honest, and now we have no choice but to finish it.”

  “Well, that’s not exactly fair...” Kristen started, only to pinch her mouth closed when Stone shot her a dark look.

  “Fair?” he questioned evenly. Despite his obvious anger, his voice was polite to a fault. “And it’s fair, I suppose, Kristen, to let my child think her mother ran off without a care. To let her think I’m falling for a woman named Cindy, which has her worrying about what will happen when her mother does come back, because I won’t be available.”

  Kristen’s mouth opened, then closed at the look of barely contained fury on Stone’s face.

  He said he was falling for her. Jenna stared at Stone unblinkingly. She was afraid to close her eyes even for a second, or he’d go away. “What do you mean?”

  Stone’s jaw was clenched tight, his eyes hot and furious, as if he wished he could snatch back his words.

  No one spoke in the charged silence, but Jenna’s heart raced.

  “I think I should leave you two alone.” Kristen grabbed her purse, kissed Jenna’s cheek and left.

  There was more silence while Jenna endured the unrelenting glare of the man who’d held her heart for so many years.

  “I don’t know what the hell I meant,” he finally snapped.

  Jenna sagged in disappointment.

  “We’re ruining Sara’s life, Jenna.” Wearily he set down the cup and folded his body onto the couch. “Much as I hate to think about it, she has to know the truth. Today.”

  “Is that wise?” she asked quietly. “I haven’t been back all that long. Maybe—”

  “Maybe you should stop thinking of yourself,” Stone interrupted her in an equally quiet voice. “Think of Sara and how she’s being affected by our emotions, no matter how hard we try to keep them to ourselves.”

  It wasn’t often Jenna experienced a surge of temper. But now, facing an irritated, hurting, unbearably sexy Stone, she lost it. “How dare you suggest I’m being selfish!” she cried. “I’m thinking of her—and you. It’s what’s kept me silent.”

  “No. That was for yourself.” He rose to his feet to face her, eyes blazing. “You didn’t know how to tell me the truth. It was easier not to.”
>
  “You’re judging me again, Stone. You’re judging me on what you remember of that frightened young Jenna. I’m telling you—I’m not the same person anymore!”

  “Then stop acting like her.”

  “If I was acting like her, I’d have run by now.”

  “I’m surprised you haven’t.”

  They stared at each other, breathing hard, hands clenched at their sides. And Jenna realized he still believed she could leave. In his own way, he was testing her. Could she blame him? He had Sara to protect, so there was no way he could tell her the truth unless he knew Jenna was going to stick it out.

  “I didn’t mean to disrupt your life,” she said, her words barely audible.

  “Little late for that.” His cool tone made her flinch. “And now Sara is reacting to what she senses between us.”

  “And what exactly is it between us?”

  His chest rose with the deep breath he took, but he didn’t speak. His hands ran through his dark hair, the gesture betraying his uncertainty. It was so unlike him she stepped closer.

  “Stone?”

  He stilled, then took another deep breath. “You can trust me, Jenna. That’s what’s between us. Always.”

  “But will you ever trust me again?”

  He lifted his head, staring at her for one endless beat in time.

  “Forget it,” she said quickly “It’s too soon—”

  “I’d like to think I can. But I don’t know.” He grimaced. “You confuse the hell out of me, if you want to know the truth.”

  “I’m sorry.” Cupping the stubble-roughened line of his jaw, she sent him a bittersweet smile. “I know how I’ve hurt you. I’d hate me, too.”

  “I don’t hate you,” he said. “I never could.”

  Her brain could hardly soak it m. He was clearly frustrated. In her world when people were angry, they turned from her. Forever.

  “Jenna.” He tipped up her face with achingly gentle hands. “I don’t hold anything in, you know that. When there are problems or when I don’t agree about something, you’re going to know it because I’m going to tell you. There have been a lot of conflicting emotions here. It doesn’t mean I’m not proud of you and what you’ve done with yourself.”

  “You’re...proud?” The last word came out a bit strangled because she had to speak around the huge lump in her throat. His approval shouldn’t mean so much, but oh it did.