Silent Treatment

by David James

  Finally, after a few false starts, she selected something that didn't look too awful. She had wondered if she should wear something that she had worn at university, so at least Ben might recognise her. Of course, he might also think that she was still wearing the same clothes he had seen her in years ago, which might look a little sad.

  Then she looked at the portion of her wardrobe that contained some of her old university clothes.

  Maybe not.

  Satisfied that she at least looked presentable, she stood for a moment looking at herself in the mirror, trying to compose herself. She felt a slight pang of guilt. After all, she hadn't seen Ben in years and here she was trying to elicit help from him, when all he thought he was doing was turning up for a drink. She would have to be subtle and not let him know her ulterior motives. He didn't owe her anything so maybe he wouldn't be interested, or he would politely listen to her, nodding occasionally, and wonder why he had bothered to meet up with her again.

  But she was desperate now. With everything going on at the institute, she knew now more than ever that she needed help. And that help could only come from outside the institute.

  Her final quandary was whether to show Ben the journals. She had been reluctant to show then to the director, but how could she ask for Ben’s help if she didn't let him look at them? He couldn't possibly offer any insight if all he knew was what everyone else outside the institute knew.

  She walked back into the lounge and reluctantly grabbed the journals and put them in her bag. As she closed the door behind her and walked to her car, she felt that there was no going back now.

  Sarah might have been surprised at the preparations taking place no more than ten miles from her own. Ben was standing in front of a mirror and assessing the meagre selection of clothes he had to choose from. Unlike Sarah, he didn't have a separate section for his old university clothes, they were the same as his current clothes. He wondered if he had time to buy some new ones. Looking at the clock he could see that he had precisely thirty one minutes until he was due at the pub. He would just have to make do with what he had available. He finally selected some sort of combination of clothing that didn't look as if it was fighting against each other, and grabbed his car keys and left the flat.

  The car journey wasn't long, but it was just long enough for him to wonder about what it would be like meeting Sarah after all these years. He felt a pang of guilt about his motives. If it wasn't for the fact that she worked on the biggest story that Ben had ever had the chance to work on, would he even be meeting up with her? He hoped that this wasn't the only reason that he had agreed to her request. But he couldn't be sure.

  He decided to put himself in the mood by reminiscing about their university days. He had done a journalism degree, so he hadn’t been on the same course as her. But he did remember the joint seminars they had. Poor Sarah had been partnered with him a few times. He cringed slightly as he thought how much use he had actually been. He suddenly felt sorry for her involuntary choice of partner.

  Some bright spark at the university had thought it would be a good idea for potential journalists to have some insight into psychology. Perhaps they thought it would stand them in good stead for dealing with some of the politicians and potential psychopaths they would have to deal with in the future. He wasn't ashamed to admit that sometimes when he had been interviewing people he would look for the character traits that had been raised in the seminars. He was convinced that he had actually interviewed several psychopaths and at least one or two paranoid people. Some of the politicians had definitely fitted into one or both of these categories.

  The seminars were reciprocal as well. He wondered if the psychology students had benefited from learning how journalism and the media worked? Or perhaps it would make their opinions of journalists even worse.

  He wouldn't say they had been exactly close. They had certainly got on well enough, or at least Ben thought they had. Sarah may have had a different opinion.

  As he turned the car into the pub car park, the battle between the journalist and the normal person within him was already raging. He was after the story. Deep down he knew that. He would have to be careful and not make it too obvious what he really wanted from meeting up. Still, whatever happened, the beer was good here and there was no reason that he shouldn't at least enjoy the evening.

  Parking the car he attempted to smooth out his crumpled appearance and after several attempts he decided that this was as good as it was going to get and headed towards the pub door.

  Sarah was stood outside the pub door steeling herself to go in. Her mind was racing and she could feel her heart rate rising. Was this really a good idea? She hadn’t seen Ben for years. They hadn’t really been friends before anyway. She wasn’t comfortable in crowds. What if someone from the institute saw her? She felt light headed now and she needed to get away from here.

  She turned around from the door and started to walk away.

  ‘Sarah? Is that you?’

  It was all she could do to stop herself screaming.

  The face emerged from the partial shadow of the doorway and after a split second of panic she recognised Ben.

  ‘Ben?’ she said in what was barely a whisper.

  Ben hadn’t known what to expect Sarah to look like now. But the figure in front of him looked gaunt and almost haunted. Her eyes were staring wildly at him.

  ‘Yes, it’s me. How are you Sarah?’

  He watched as she tried to compose herself, and after a pause she said ‘I’m okay.’

  She seemed to regain some sort of composure and he said ‘Shall we go in?’

  Sarah followed Ben into the pub. He had surprised her in the doorway, but she felt that she had kept her cool despite her surprise. As she entered the pub she was relieved to see that it was almost empty.

  'So good to see you, you look well,' said Ben, 'did you want a drink?' He wondered if she still drank? From what he remembered she had never been a big drinker, but he thought that she did drink something.

  'Lager would be nice thanks,' replied Sarah as she surveilled the pub until she found a quiet corner that was partially obscured from the doorway.

  Ben smiled, 'Coming right up. If you wanted to sit down I’ll bring them across.'

  'Evening Ben,' said the barman.

  'Evening Frank,' replied Ben.

  'Friend of yours?' said the barman.

  'Sort of,' said Ben, not sounding entirely sure.

  The barman nodded in the way a barman does.

  Sarah shuffled in her chair. Ben was looking at her and she suddenly felt incredibly self-conscious. But she reminded herself why she was here. She thought of the children. Besides, Ben was now walking across the pub towards her, and it might look a little odd if she bolted for the door.

  'There we go,' said Ben unnecessarily as he placed the drinks on the table.

  To Sarah's eye Ben had barely changed since she had last seen him. She could almost imagine that they were sitting in the students union bar, a particularly ghastly place as she remembered, and the intervening years had never happened. The vain part of her wondered if he was thinking the same about her. His hair was perhaps a bit shorter and slightly better kept, but that was about all. She realised that the effect was completed by the fact that he seemed to be wearing exactly the same clothes as the last time she had seen him.

  'You still like your beer,' said Sarah.

  As Ben finished the large gulp he was in the middle of he replied 'Oh yes, though I don't tend to drink too much on a school night.'

  'Do you have many school nights nowadays. Being self employed as you are,' replied Sarah.

  Ben smiled, 'You have done a bit of research on me then?'

  'Just a few minutes googling,' said Sarah.

  'Find anything interesting?'

  Sarah realised that if she wasn't careful she could come across as a bit of a stalker.

  'Nothing incriminating, I was just interested what you had been up to,' she said, in as ligh
ter tone of voice as she could manage. If he had taken offence, he certainly seemed to be covering it up well, and the smile was still on his face.

  'Ah, the joys of the internet. A few years ago you could make a complete fool of yourself in a pub and the landlord and a few friends would be the only ones to know.'

  'And by the time the hangover had gone, most people would have forgotten,' chimed Sarah.

  'The good old days,' said Ben.

  He took another drink and said casually 'So how have things been in the past few years. Since you left university I mean?'

  'Oh, very busy,' she said.

  Ben had never really found out why Sarah had left university so abruptly. It was almost as if she was there one moment and gone the next.

  'You left pretty quickly after we all finished if I remember,' said Ben.

  She knew he would mention this at some point in the evening, it would be strange if he didn't. It was just that she had hoped that it would have been later in the evening after there had been enough small talk and drink.

  She hesitated.

  'Well, you know, family stuff,' was the best she could manage. She wasn’t ready to discuss her father with Ben.

  Sarah quickly changed the subject.

  'So you are a freelance journalist now? That sounds exciting.'

  Ben looked at her and images of some of his exciting evenings spent in a car waiting for people that never arrived, and the endless hawking of stories that even he didn't think were that good.

  'It's not as exciting as it sounds.'

  Sarah was happier talking about his work, it was after all the reason she was here. She decided to push a little more.

  'Oh it can't be all that bad. I mean you get to travel all over the place, interviewing people, trying to get to the bottom of things,' she hoped that she wasn't pushing too hard.

  Ben didn't really want to talk about his work too much. He was a lot more interested in Sarah's work with the children. But he was happy to play along. He would just have to wait until he could turn the conversation around.

  'It has its moments.'

  'I knew you wouldn’t settle for anything too normal. Couldn't see you doing nine to five.'

  Ben let out a loud laugh. 'Oh it's certainly not nine to five, I'll give you that.'

  'So it's going well all in all then?'

  'Wouldn't swap it. Just waiting for the big story you know.'

  As soon as he said it he realised that it was too blunt. Would she realise that she was the key to his big story?

  Sarah leant across the table and picked up her drink. It gave her a moment to think. She didn't want to be too obvious here. He might think that she had only invited him because he could be useful to her. Okay, it had been her first instinct and was actually why she had contacted him, but sitting here opposite him she was transported back to better times. Easier times. Times when her father was still around to guide her and things weren't so complicated.

  'Oh you never know when it might happen. Could be any time when you least expect it,' said Sarah.

  Ben continued to smile, but his mind was racing. What did she mean by that? Had she worked out why he was here and was she toying with him? He really hoped not. If for no other reason than looking at her brought back all the memories from university. He found himself involuntarily smiling even further.

  'What's so amusing Ben?'

  'Oh, just remembering our university days. You must have wondered what you had done wrong to get me as a partner in the psychology classes.'

  'Oh I don't know, I bet you thought you had been saddled with the boring one didn't you?' said Sarah.

  Ben looked straight at her. How was he supposed to safely answer that?

  'Okay, shall we just say that this is a case of mutually assured destruction. I don't think there is any safe way for either of us to reply!'

  'I'll settle for that,' said Sarah.

  There was a lull in the conversation as they both tried to think of something non-controversial.

  'We've discussed my work enough for the moment, how's yours going? It's good to see that you are doing what you always wanted to,' said Ben, trying to sound as relaxed as possible. But he knew this was the crux of the evening for him, it was just important that Sarah didn't realise.

  Sarah thought carefully about her reply. She realised that this could be her way into manipulating the conversation around to what she really wanted to ask.

  'Yes, you're right. Not everyone ends up doing what they want to after university. And of course it has all got a lot more involved recently.' She reached forward to pick up her drink again and waited for his reply.

  This was the moment for Ben. He was sure that she had meant the children arriving, but he didn't want to make his interest too obvious.

  'You've got busier have you?' he said.

  Sarah was surprised that he hadn't picked up on what she wanted to lead him towards. For a moment she wondered whether his investigative powers might not be enough for what she had in mind. She decided to be a bit more obvious.

  'With the children arriving at the institute. I'm sure you must have read about them?'

  This was going better than Ben had hoped. He hadn't had to bring the subject up himself, she had done it for him. Despite his excitement, he needed to remain calm and he didn't want to spook Sarah.

  'Oh yes, of course I guess it must have been a bit hectic,' he replied.

  Sarah thought of the recent session. Hectic wasn't the word that sprang to mind. But she didn't want to leap into smothering him with a mass of information; she needed him to want to make the offer himself.

  'Yes, it certainly has been. And all the media attention hasn't helped,' she said.

  'Yes I can imagine.'

  Ben was racking his brain trying to work out how he could gently steer the conversation towards his way of thinking.

  There was a moment of silence again. It was Sarah who spoke first.

  'It's very difficult for us to really get to know the backgrounds of the children you know.'

  'I can imagine. I presume they haven't talked yet?' said Ben.

  'No, they haven't talked.'

  Ben picked up something in the way Sarah said this. It seemed deliberately vague.

  'They haven't talked, so it must be difficult with them not communicating at all with you.'

  Sarah felt a mixture of defensive and pleased. Defensive because no one outside the institute knew about the journals. But pleased that he had picked up the tone in her voice.

  Sarah let out the slightest of smiles. Ben looked nonplussed.

  Ben was finding it hard to remain relaxed. Had she just suggested that the children had communicated with her? He was already writing the headlines in his mind and they looked good to him. But he knew that he couldn't just try to sell the information. There was no story yet. He would still have to tread carefully. It was important that Sarah came to the conclusion he wanted herself.

  'I've wondered,' he said, trying to sound more relaxed than he felt, 'what the children's backgrounds are, I mean they didn't just drop down from outer space. Did they?'

  Now Sarah laughed out loud. 'We have one or two theories, but they don't include space!' She realised that she had spoken too loudly and she noticed a person in the opposite corner of the pub look up in their direction.

  Sarah continued in a lower voice 'But it is so difficult to do anything, what with the media circus outside. It all feels very claustrophobic in the institute.'

  'Well at least you are in the right place to be claustrophobic!' said Ben.

  The man opposite looked towards them again. He was reading a newspaper, or at least that was what he appeared to be doing.

  Sarah looked at Ben again.

  Ben was smiling but his mind was working overtime tying to formulate his next statement. He knew it need to be right.

  'Sometimes,' he started, 'it's easier for someone who isn't so close to things. I've found that sometimes when people are too close t
o something then they get so bogged down with it all,' where was he going with this, 'that you know someone from outside can offer a fresh perspective.' He stopped talking, which he felt was for the best. He wondered if Sarah could glean what he was trying to say from all those words.

  Sarah had to think for a moment. It wasn't entirely clear to her what he was saying. But it seemed that he was offering to help. It was exactly what she had hoped for. And as she had hoped he had thought it was his own idea. She paused despite the fact that she wanted to blurt out something immediately.

  'You could be right about that. I do feel too close sometimes. And I'm not exactly qualified to root around and find information or question people that might know something.' She wondered if she had been too obvious here. She had basically quoted Ben's job description back to him.

  'Sounds like a job for a journalist not a psychologist!' said Ben. Damn, that sounded too obvious, Ben wondered if Sarah would realise what he had come here for tonight and would now act offended and storm out of the pub.

  She didn't storm anywhere.

  'Know any good journalists that might be able to help?' said Sarah.

  Oh well, may as well go for it, surely he hadn't misread her meaning had he?

  'I may know one that would be only too glad to help,' said Ben, unable to keep the gleeful tone out of his voice. He looked at her face trying to gauge her reaction.

  Sarah was relieved, he had just offered his services. She had managed to achieve what she had set out to this evening. Ben had made the offer she wanted him to and as she looked across at him she realised that he hadn't had a clue that he had slowly come to the conclusion that she had coaxed him into.

  Ben was relieved, he had clearly managed to set the right tone and Sarah had been gently led to the decision he wanted her to make. It hadn't actually been as difficult as he had expected, Sarah had seemed to think that it was her idea all along.

  Sarah remembered that there was another part of the evening and she had been dreading it.

  Ben looked at the change in her demeanour and the fact that she seemed to be picking up her bag to leave.

  'Is there anything wrong Sarah?' he wondered if she had suddenly had a change of mind, had he been too keen and she had suspected his ulterior motive?