Silent Treatment
Page 38
The darkness was now feeling oppressive, but she knew the torch wouldn’t last much longer. It would be sensible to turn it off and save it. But she was reluctant to do so, its fading light was the only comfort she had now, but she didn’t want to be stumbling around in complete darkness later on.
She switched the torch off and the darkness rushed in to fill the void.
She had no idea how long she had stood there waiting. She tried to find things to occupy her mind.
She wondered if her father had stood in this very spot; talking to the researchers, discussing the day to day goings on here and quite possibly, as she now knew, talking about Sarah herself as well. The photos had shown that he hadn’t been afraid to let everyone know about her; even here in this strange place. It brought her a modicum of comfort and made her feel still connected to him. She closed her eyes and tried to picture him standing there with her.
Sarah
She opened her eyes rapidly, but it made little difference to what she could see.
‘Ben?’ she said hopefully.
Leave here Sarah.
Sarah suddenly wanted the safety of her father's house. She would be able to hide there. She had heard the voices there, but they didn’t sound threatening like these.
She felt her finger reaching towards the switch on the torch.
She desperately wanted to see Ben’s torch return, but what if he didn’t return? What if he left her here. She needed to see something, she needed to see that there was nothing out there except an empty office.
She switched on the torch.
Ben was making only slow progress. The torch wasn't much help and the office desks seemed to have formed into a maze since they had come here. He found himself barging into the corners of tables, and cursing as he did so. He wondered how long he could continue before he had to admit defeat. But what good would that be? Returning to Sarah and saying ‘No idea where we are’. He didn’t feel as if he was contributing much at the moment anyway. But he knew that the story was inextricably bound up in Sarah, so he needed to be at least pulling his weight.
As he collided with the umpteenth table and began to curse whoever had put them there, he suddenly spotted something. It was a sign, literally. He recognised it from when they had first arrived; it showed that this was the way to go. He began to let out a sigh of relief. But before he could finish it, it stopped in his throat. There was a scream of terror. It was such a terrifying scream that he wondered if it was human at all.
Ben hurried back through the maze of desks; not caring any longer about the bruises. The sound had been so alarming that all caution was cast aside. Part of him questioned whether he should be running towards the source of the sound or away from it.
He recognised he was close to where he had left Sarah, and he turned the last corner fearing what he might see.
Chapter Sixty Two
In the darkness Ben could see a small ray of dim light. But it was only illuminating a small patch of the floor.
He rushed towards it and as he got nearer he could just make out a shadow formed around the light.
‘Sarah?’ he said in a quiet voice.
There was no reply.
He turned his torchlight towards the shape.
He was immediately relieved that it was Sarah but as he looked at her face the relief turned to fear. He was hoping to ask her if she had heard the scream but he now knew where it had come from.
‘Did you see it?’ said a voice that barely sounded human.
‘See what Sarah?’
She seemed to be struggling to formulate her words, eventually she managed to say ‘It was just here, in front of me.’
Ben looked around using the torch light. ‘I didn’t see anything Sarah. There’s just us here.’
Sarah continued to stare ahead of her.
‘Monster,’ she said in a frightened whisper.
‘What?’ said Ben. He must have misheard her, but he didn’t have time to ask her again.
‘I’ve found the way, I think we should get out of here,’ he said.
She didn’t move.
He reached out and grabbed her arm; she flinched, but he didn’t let go. He realised that he needed to get her out of here. He began to pull at her arm, which at least made her start to move. Reaching down to pick up her torch, he slowly began to lead them back the way he had come.
Sarah felt the pressure on her arm; she didn’t have the energy to resist and she began to follow the light of the torch. Her mind was almost separate from her body now. She hovered above herself and watched her body follow Ben and slowly make its way through the building.
She knew what she had seen couldn’t be real, how could it? But the effect on her was real. And part of her felt as if she was fifteen years old again.
Her body followed Ben through a door, stepped slowly down the stairs and began to climb through a half open window. All the while she could feel herself being led and all the while her mind was filled with the terrifying visage of the monster.
Chapter Sixty Three
As they walked past the outside of the building Ben didn't take the most direct route to the house. He veered away to avoid the forest and the restaurant. He didn’t need any trouble from that direction.
As they walked, as fast as he could coax Sarah along, he wondered how he was going to ask Sarah what had happened to her?
Eventually they were approaching the house and after a last look around, Ben opened the door and led them inside.
They both slumped down in their respective chairs. Sarah was almost in a foetal position as she hugged her knees against her chest. Ben noticed that she was clutching the journal tight against her chest. He was worried that she would begin to rock back and forth in the chair; he had no idea what he would do if she did. But mercifully she sat motionless and in silence.
They sat there in the front room for what felt like an age. Eventually Ben felt he had to say something. Anything.
‘Did you manage to read the journal?’ It sounded crass, but he hoped that maybe if she started talking about something practical then it might distract her from whatever was going on inside her head.
Sarah slowly lifted her head from her knees and nodded slightly.
'So what went wrong with the experiment?' said Ben gently.
Ben's abrupt question caught Sarah off guard. 'Wrong?'
'There's a building that looks like it was abandoned in a hurry. There are scorch marks on some walls and the place looks like a ghost town,' said Ben. His tone may have been too harsh, but he was physically tired now and a little tired of not being told everything by Sarah
'There were some, issues,' said Sarah carefully.
'Issues, you can say that again!' replied Ben.
'This was cutting edge treatment, there were bound to be some problems!' said Sarah adamantly.
Ben didn’t reply, he was aware that he would probably only make things worse.
Sarah tried to calm down. Ben’s questioning had felt like an attack on her father’s work and an attack on her father himself. Which she wouldn’t accept.
Sarah thought long and hard before doing what she did next. But what use would Ben be if she didn't tell him? The journal felt so personal to her now, it was the last connection she had with her father. With a deep breath she tore the journal away from herself and handed it towards Ben like an offering. 'I think you should read this.'
As Ben took the journal from her, she watched as he began to read it.
Ben could see that Sarah was conflicted about giving the journal to him to read. And as he started to read the first few lines he could see why.
The story that unfolded in the writing was like a tragedy, like watching a car crash develop and not being able to do anything to prevent it. Ben could see Sarah's father's life seemingly ebbing away in front of him. But he tried to put the personal tragedy to one side. He had to remind himself that he was here to do a job. He was here to find out the truth and he was here to break a
story. But as he read on it became impossible to separate the story from the tragedy.
And then as the story became more bizarre, he tried to put himself in her father's situation. He must have known that he was ill, but what shone through was his belief that he was helping these children when perhaps others had given up on them.
It was almost painful for him to read it. He wondered how Sarah had managed to read it at all. But eventually he reached the end and put the journal down on the table between Sarah and himself.
Sarah looked for his reaction and eventually she said 'What do you think?'
'Monsters?'
'You do understand why don't you?'
'Well, yes, mostly. Is that where it all started going wrong?' said Ben.
'Only because it wasn't finished,' said Sarah.
Ben carefully considered what he was about to say. The thought had been building up in him and had increased as he was reading the journal.
Eventually he said slowly and carefully 'Unless you think the experiment is still running and we are now part of it. Are we part of the treatment now Sarah?'
Chapter Sixty Four
Ben was struggling to sleep.
They had both decided to turn in early, but he was only sleeping lightly and had been woken up by sounds from the house; doors being opened and he was sure that he heard Sarah walking around.
He was awake again and could at least see that the light was beginning to form outside. He was aware that he may have upset Sarah last night. He had been questioning the whole experiment, an experiment that was the responsibility of her father. He wasn't surprised that she had been defensive. They had called it a night straight away, they had both needed to cool down.
He got dressed quickly and made his way downstairs and was surprised that Sarah was already up.
'Morning Ben,' said Sarah.
Ben couldn’t detect any malice in her voice.
'Morning,' he replied.
'Breakfast is a little meagre this morning I'm afraid,’ said Sarah.
'Low on provisions are we?'
'We went well past “low” a little while ago,' said Sarah.
They had a cup of coffee, even that involved scraping the bottom of the container out.
'What do you reckon to the picture then?' said Ben as he produced it casually. 'It was your father wasn't it?' said Ben.
'Yes it was.'
'He didn't look much like an eminent psychologist,' said Ben. He immediately decided to clarify what he meant 'I meant that as a compliment, he looked quite cool actually.' Was that the word to use?
'He wasn't most people's idea of a normal psychologist either. But, especially in the early days, it was a very experimental time.'
'I guess you could get away with more then.'
'Oh yes,' said Sarah enthusiastically. 'You would probably be up in front of several boards now if you tried some of the things they did then.'
He took a sip of his meagre coffee and said 'How much longer can we last for food?'
Sarah looked across at the cupboards, but she knew the answer anyway. 'Not long.'
'It's a shame they didn't build a fake shop here as well,' said Ben. 'One of us will need to go get some more stuff if we are to stay here much longer.'
Sarah turned and looked at him 'Oh I can't leave the village. Not now.'
Her expression showed that it wasn’t open to discussion.
'That just leaves me then,' said Ben.
'How long would you be gone?' said Sarah.
'Shouldn't take long. It feels like we are in a different world here, but it's not actually a huge distance from the real world,' he said.
Sarah looked at him intently and said 'I'm not sure how real it is out there either.'
'I'll take a photo of it to remind you,' said Ben.
He stood up and walked across the room and picked up his virtually empty rucksack.
'Any special requests?' he said, sounding like he was just popping out to the local shop.
'Just everything,' said Sarah.
He opened the door and turned to look at Sarah.
'Take care Ben,' said Sarah.
'You too,' he replied.
And with that Ben turned and headed away from the house, hearing Sarah close the door behind him.
As the door shut Ben hesitated. Did he really want to leave Sarah here alone? She had seemed quite happy for him to leave, but then he thought of whatever had attacked him in the woods and the look on her face in the torchlight when she looked like she had seen a ghost.
But they needed provisions, she had told him that. He would just have to make sure he was back as quickly as he could manage.
He set off quickly across the green towards the place they had first entered the village. It felt a lifetime ago. As he reached the edge of the forest, he turned and looked back at the village. He wasn't really sure how long it had been since they had arrived here, time seemed to have less meaning in this place.
It still looked as idyllic as before. But now as Ben looked across it, he could attach unpleasant memories to almost everywhere he looked. The sheen of perfection seemed tainted now, especially as he knew now what all the effort to create perfection had really been about.
He turned away from the village and headed into the undergrowth.
The light immediately dimmed under the heavy canopy; it may be morning outside of the forest, but in here it felt more like the end of a dull, overcast day. The pathway meandered and became less distinct, just as he needed it to be clear enough to follow easily.
Not for the first time as he stumbled along, he felt like he was in a different place entirely. He could be anywhere now. He felt like he could be at any point in time. He wouldn’t have been surprised to bump into a mediaeval knight or a Roman soldier.
This place was getting to him.
To calm himself he decided to imagine he was just out for a gentle stroll; he could imagine his parents walking near him. His father forging ahead, even though he had no idea where he was going; his mother patiently waiting to redirect him when they all stumbled towards a sudden drop.
It helped him to ignore the sounds that seemed to be all around him.
After what could have been either an hour or an entire afternoon, he recognised something from before. He quickened his pace as much as he could and minutes later he was standing on what looked like a motorway in comparison to the path he had been walking on.
As he turned back to look where he had come from, it was as if it had closed behind him. There was no path visible. It was hard to believe that he had emerged from the wall of greenery that he was looking back at now. What was even more incredible was that Sarah had found it in the first place. He still didn't know how she had done that.
In a moment of inspiration that surprised him, he reached down and gathered together a small pile of rocks. He carefully placed them at the entrance to the forest that he had just left. Even he would be able to spot a pile of rocks. He set off with renewed vigour along the path, bolstered by the fact it was easier to walk now.
As he walked along, he could feel his mood lightening. He could feel that he was relaxing more the further away from the village he got. By the time he reached a part of the path he definitely recognised as close to the clearing, he was in a comparatively calm frame of mind. The walk may have taken hours, but as he finally emerged from the forest and into the clearing he felt like he was back in a different world.
As he began to walk across the roughly strewn pebbles of the car park, he heard a loud beep that made him jump. It took a few moments for him to realise it was his phone receiving a message.
He really was back in civilisation.
He walked out of the clearing and started walking towards his car. His senses had been heightened being in the village; he had learnt to look carefully around him at all times. It made him look a little odd as his head jerked this way and that as he looked around.
The car was waiting patiently and he eased himself
into the seat, surrounded by his reassuringly familiar clutter. He arrived at his lodgings, parked the car and grabbing his rucksack, slid out and walked up to his room. He dumped his rucksack on the bed and followed it onto the bed and collapsed.
It was difficult to know how long he had slept as he suddenly awoke, but as he looked out of the window he could see that the sun was already beginning to give up.
'Shit,' he cried out and desperately looked around for a clock; which was something he had grown out of the habit of doing.
It was early evening already.
He threw himself off the bed and hurtled out of the door, cursing his selfishness.
The shop wasn't far away, he remembered it had taken fifteen leisurely minutes before; so he tried to convert that to a hurried five.
He so nearly managed it. As he was about to turn the last corner, the final key turn was being performed as the lock was engaged. But a minute later might as well have been an hour as he pressed his face up against the closed shop.
His thoughts turned to Sarah. He thought about returning now, he could be back in a matter of a few hours. But what would be the point? He would return empty handed. No, he had to return with something. He would just have to drive and find some other shop. It would mean he was going to arrive late, but still, at least he would arrive with something useful to offer.
'Stupid, stupid, how could you fall asleep?' he muttered to himself under his breath as he half walked, half ran back towards the car. Just for good measure he slapped his forehead as if to drive the point home to his brain.
People passing him in the street gave him odd glances as they went past, but he didn't care, he strangely didn't feel part of their world anymore.
He arrived back at the car, opened the door and slammed it shut, as if it was somehow the car's fault that he had slept. He drove around aimlessly initially, hoping to bump into a shop.