by Rye Hart
“No, Chef. I thought it was done.”
I yanked the breast off the plate and ripped it open. The inside was pink and cold. “Does this look done to you?”
“No, Chef.”
“No. This chicken is so raw it’s still trying to cross the road. Make it again.”
I stormed back to the pass, so angry I could spit. Then I heard a man call my name. I spun around. “What?”
Colton was standing by the door to the kitchen. “Bad time?”
My anger dulled to mere frustration. “What are you doing in town? Did you finally decide to come beg me for a job?”
He grinned. “Please. If I needed a job, I’d work somewhere nicer than this. Like Denny’s.”
That actually made me laugh. It felt like forever since I’d laughed. “Let’s go to my office.”
We sat across from each other and I leaned back. “Seriously, what are you doing here?”
“I met a girl the last time I was in town. I came up for a visit. I’m taking off today so I figured I stop in and see how you’re doing.”
“I’m fine. Why do you ask?”
He shrugged. “I heard Amber’s working at a new place.”
“Have you talked to her?” I asked, a little too interested.
“Nah. But everyone’s been talking about her these days.”
I nodded. “Yeah. She’s a big deal now.”
“Come on, Luke. What happened?” He gave me a knowing look.
“What do you mean? Nothing. She got a job offer and she took it.”
He made an annoyed sound. “Don’t treat me like I’m one of your crew. I know you. And I saw you two together, remember? She wouldn’t just pack up and leave.”
I suddenly felt so fucking tired. “It’s a long story.”
“Well, I’ve got time. And I know you don’t have any other friends besides me. So, talk.”
I couldn’t argue with that. The closest I’d come to talking about what happened was my conversation with Emery, and I couldn’t go into details with her. “Fine. Like I said, she got a job offer to be head chef. And not for a small place like mine. We’re talking big time.”
“Right, I know that much.”
“Of course, she said no. But she wasn’t thinking with her head, you know. She was thinking with her heart.”
Colton cocked his head in surprise. “I never took you for the romantic type.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Do you want to hear the damn story or not?”
“All right. Go on,” he barked at me.
“I know she turned them down because of me. She didn’t want to leave me. Not when things were going so well for us.”
“And what’s wrong with that?”
“Everything. This was her chance at making it big. At making a name for herself. Hell, you’ve been hearing about her down in California. No one’s talking about me down there.”
“Ehh, you’d be surprised,” Colton said. “All the real chefs I talk to know who you are.”
“Well, anyway. It was the perfect job for her. They’re paying her way more than I ever could. And she’s already getting rave reviews. Mark my words, she’ll have a Michelin star by the end of the year.”
“But you said she turned them down.”
“She did. But I knew she was making a mistake. And look, things were great between us, but there’s no telling what would happen down the line. I didn’t want her to look back on this chance and regret not taking it. So, I helped her make the decision.”
He groaned and shook his head. “Do I even want to know what you did?”
“I broke things off with her.”
“Mother tap-dancing Fucker, Luke. Are you allergic to happiness or something?”
“I had to end things. She never would have taken the job if we were still together.”
“You don’t know that. You could have tried making it work.”
“I thought about it a lot. Amber’s going to be the real deal. She’s going to cook all over the world, own multiple restaurants. Hell, she’ll probably have her own TV show. She was never gonna stick around here. And honestly, I couldn’t go through that again. I couldn’t let Emery go through that again.”
Colton nodded somberly. “I get that. I do. But look, man, you gotta take a risk sometimes. Yeah, maybe Amber and you wouldn’t work out. But maybe you would. You shouldn’t throw a woman like Amber away just because you’re scared.”
“It wasn’t just that. I don’t want to hold her back. I wanted her to have everything she ever wanted and more.”
“Luke, you dumb dildo, did you ever stop and think that what she wanted was you? You’re the one who assumes she wants fame and fortune, but did she ever tell you that? I mean, she turned the job down. That was her telling you what she wanted.”
I shook my head. “She was making a mistake.”
Colton jabbed a finger in my direction. “You don’t get to decide that. It was her choice to make. You’re so used to being in control all the time. You just had to control this fucking situation, too.”
“You might be right,” I said, pausing to consider it. “Still, with everything that happened with Jen—”
“Fuck that noise. I get it. She screwed up your life when she left. Don’t let her screw it up again. Don’t let her keep screwing it up. Look, it’s simple. Do you still want to be with Amber? Don’t think about it. Just answer.”
“Yes, of course.”
“Then get on the phone right now and start apologizing like you’ve never apologized before. Get down on your knees and beg if you have to. Buy her the biggest goddamn bouquet of roses you can find. There’s still a chance she’ll forgive you.”
I scrubbed a hand over my face. “It’s really not that simple. I didn’t tell you everything. When I broke things off with her, I wanted to make sure she knew we were done. So, I told her something unforgivable.”
“Oh, man, you’re fucking killing me here. What did you say?”
“Well, when they offered her the job, they also offered to pay off the restaurant’s debts for me if she’d agree to work for them. Like a gesture of good faith for taking my chef. So, I told her I wanted her to take the job so I could get the money.”
Colton sat back on the couch, shaking his head in wonder. “I don’t even know what to say to that. Dude, if you needed money, you could have come to me.”
“I didn’t take the damn money, you idiot. I just told her I wanted it so she’d hate me.”
“Man, when you fuck things up, you really fuck them up.”
“I guess so. Anyway, there’s no coming back from it. All I can do is hope she’s happy now.”
Colton nodded. “You’re probably right. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. If that’s what you want, anyway.” He got up from the couch with a grunt. “Well, it’s time for me to head off. Think about what I said. And maybe give me a call the next time you’re gonna make some huge, life-altering decision like this. Just so you can talk it out loud and hear how stupid you sound.”
I stood up. “Yeah, well fuck you, too,” I said and gave him a quick hug.
CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR - AMBER
“I thought we were going to do something fun” I told Jamie as we walked into the supermarket.
“Grocery shopping is fun,” she said breezily.
“Not really. And this is not how I pictured spending my day off.”
“Don’t pretend to hate this. This is where the food is, master chef. You love food. You’d probably marry food and have little food babies.”
I laughed. “What the hell are you talking about?”
She shrugged. “No idea. I was only half-listening to myself anyway. Come on. Let’s get this done and I’ll take you out for a margarita. But you’re paying since you’re rich now.”
“I am not rich.”
“Richer than me. Besides, I know a place where they serve it in a fish bowl for like seven bucks. You can spot me seven bucks.”
I laughed and sh
ook my head. “Maybe not for long.”
Jamie led me down the cereal aisle as she pushed the shopping cart. “Still not liking the new job?”
“That’s an understatement. It’s nothing but rich snobs in the dining room. They always find a reason to send food back, even if they have to make it up. It’s like they can’t enjoy their meal unless they hassle the staff.”
“Mm hmm,” Jamie said skeptically. “Maybe you just suck at cooking.”
I smiled. “Maybe. Not like they’d ever know it. I never get to cook anything. I tried making a salad yesterday, and the garde manger got all pissy with me.”
“Am I supposed to know what a blah, blah, blah is?” she asked, mocking me.
“They handle the salads. But God forbid I call her the pantry chef, like a normal person. She did not like that. You’d think I called her a hoe bag.’” I made a frustrated growl. “Everything about that place just bothers the shit out of me.”
“Like a laxative.”
I snorted. “Gross.”
She grabbed a bag of granola and examined it. “Nope,” she said, putting it back. “Well, look. There’s always Amber’s Taco Stand. Amber, the Taco Queen of Seattle. It has a nice ring to it.”
“That’s getting more and more tempting every day. I just wish things were different, you know? I miss Luke so much it hurts, Jamie.”
She shook her head. “No, you wish you were back at Emery.”
“Is that so wrong?” I asked.
“It is when your boss, slash, boyfriend was a total asshole who chose money over your relationship.”
I sighed. “Yeah, there’s that. I keep trying to figure that out. I know he took out a loan to start the place, but it wasn’t like the restaurant was hurting for money. I just don’t get it.”
“Rocks in their heads, Amber. They’ve all got rocks in their heads.”
Just then, I heard a high-pitched scream and something slammed hard against my leg. I looked down to see Emery staring up at me, her eyes shining with joy.
“Amber!” she yelled, overcome with excitement.
I dropped to one knee and swept her up in a tight hug. “Oh, Emery. It’s so good to see you.”
I hadn’t realized just how much I’d missed her until then. A rush of emotions flooded through me. Then cold panic spiked in my chest. “Is your father here?”
Emery shook her head. “Nope.”
“Wait, then how did you get here?”
A woman about twenty years older than me came skidding to halt in front of me. “I’m so sorry. She’s faster than she looks.”
Emery glanced at her. “Marla, this is Amber.”
Marla’s eyes lit up. “Ahh, the world-famous Amber? Emery never stops talking about you.”
I tried to stand up to shake her hand, but Emery wouldn’t let go of me. “I’ve heard a lot about you, too. You’re the nanny, right?”
“That’s me.”
I looked over at Jamie. She stood watching me with a sardonic smile on her face. “Friend of yours?” she asked.
“This is Emery.”
“Yeah, I figured that out when you said her name.” She looked over at Marla. “Come on, nanny. I see some free samples that are calling our name.”
Marla smiled and shook her head. “That’s okay. I’m not hungry.”
Jamie grabbed her arm and started dragging her away. “Come with me anyway. I’ll explain what the word subtle means.”
When it was just Emery and I, I leaned down. “I’ve missed you,” I said.
“I missed you, too. I’m sorry Daddy had to send you away.”
I pulled back to look at her. “Is that what he told you? That he sent me away?”
“Yeah,” she said, nodding.
I knew I shouldn’t try and interrogate Emery, but my curiosity got the better of me. “What else did he say?”
“Lots of things. He said I’d probably never see you again, but he was wrong. I’m seeing you now. And I didn’t even want to come to the store with Marla. I was watching cartoons. But she made me ‘cause I’m not supposed to be home alone. But now I’m glad I did. ‘Cause you’re here.”
“I’m glad she brought you along too.” I paused. “So, uh, what else did your father tell you about me?”
“He said he had to make you hate him so you could stop being friends. Because you would be happier at your new job. And he told a great big lie so you’d be mad at him.”
“Wait. What does that mean?” Panic raced through me.
She gave an exaggerated shrug. “I don’t know. I didn’t understand, but I could tell it made him sad to talk about it. So, I pretended to understand. All I know is he had to do it so you’d be happy and your life would be better.” She looked at me probingly. “Is your life better?”
Tears stung my eyes at the question. It was so blunt and honest. The kind of question only a child could ask. “No, sweetie. It’s not. It’s really not. I hate it.”
“Oh. Then you should come back.”
“Yeah, maybe,” I said. “We’ll see. You know, you’re pretty smart for a six-year-old.”
Emery looked at me like I’d said something dumb. “Umm, I’m six-and-a-half.”
I laughed. “Right. Sorry.”
***
I said my goodbyes to Emery, even though I could tell she didn’t want to leave. Marla had to carry her away. I understood how she felt, I didn’t want her to leave either.
When she was gone, I told Jamie what Emery had told me.
“Luke told her he had to make me mad at him, so I would take the job. So I could have a better life. That’s why he was such an asshole to me that night. It was on purpose.”
Jamie nodded. “Because you wouldn’t take the job if you two were still together.”
“Exactly.”
“So, he lied to you when he said he was worried you’d leave?”
I considered it. “Maybe, but all that stuff had a ring of truth to it. Whatever happened with Emery’s mother, I know it scarred him pretty badly. I think he was legitimately afraid it would happen all over again with me.”
“So that wasn’t a lie?”
“I don’t know. I think he was just using those fears as an excuse. But he told Emery he told me a giant lie.”
Jamie nodded. “The money?”
“Yeah. The money. I have to make a call. Then I think Luke and I need to have a talk.”
“Yeah. I think so too. And look, I don’t want to rain on your parade here, but what he did was still a dick move.”
“But his heart was in the right place. He just went about it all wrong.”
Jamie and I looked at each other. We spoke at the same time.
“Rocks in their heads.”
CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE - LUKE
When I got home after work, Marla greeted me.
“Emery’s still awake,” she said. “She wants to tell you something.”
I frowned. “Is everything okay?”
Marla nodded and started gathering up her things. “Yeah, I think so. I’ll let her tell you.”
“Okay. You heading out?”
“Yes, Sir. See you tomorrow Mr. Harrison.”
“See ya, Marla.”
I climbed the stairs, wondering what Emery could possibly have to tell me. She was sitting up in her bed, waiting for me.
“Hey there, munchkin.”
“Hi, Daddy.”
I sat at the foot of her bed. “So, Marla says you have something to tell me.” Emery bounced on her bed, like she was so excited she was about to burst. “Well, what is it?”
“I saw Amber today.”
My eyes widened in surprise and my heart swelled. I hadn’t been expecting that. “She came here to the house?”
“No. Marla took me to the store, and Amber was there.”
“Oh, okay. Did you say hi?”
“Of course. She said she missed me. I told her I missed her too.”
I felt a pang of guilt in my chest. It was my fault they hadn’t b
een able to see each other. “Well, that’s nice. What else did you talk about?”
“Oh, nothing. I just told her you lied to her to make her mad so she could have a better life.”
My mouth fell open in shock. “What? That’s not nothing. That’s everything!”
Emery shrugged. “She wanted to know. And you never told me not to tell her.”
“I never thought you’d see her again. What did she say when you told her?” My blood ran cold.
She grinned mischievously. “I’m not telling you.”
“Oh, sure. Now you’re keeping secrets. That’s not nice.”
“Okay, okay. I’ll tell you.” Emery crawled over to me and put her mouth right up to my ear like she was going to tell me a secret. “She said her life isn’t better now. Her eyes filled with tears and she said she hated it.”
Emery tumbled back on the bed, giggling. That was an odd reaction.
“That’s not a good thing. Why do you seem so happy?”
“Because, Daddy. I told her that means she can come back.”
“You said that?”
She nodded.
I was impressed. She had more courage than I ever did. Ever since my conversation with Colton, I’d been thinking about calling Amber, but I couldn’t figure out what to say. I didn’t even know where to begin. Emery didn’t have that problem. She cut right through the bullshit and just asked her to come back.
“What did she say?” I asked, trying not to show how much the answer meant to me.
“She said ‘maybe.’”
“Maybe’s good. I’ll take maybe. Right? Maybe’s good?”
Emery nodded. “I think so, Daddy.”
“Should I call her, do you think?”
“Yes! Yes! Yes!” she shouted.
“All right. I’ll give her a call tomorrow. Now you need to calm down and get some rest, you little devil, you.”
Someone knocked softly on Emery’s bedroom door. Marla must have forgotten something. I opened the door to see Amber standing on the other side.
I thought I might be imagining it until Emery bounced off from her bed and wrapped her arms around Amber’s leg.
“Hi,” I said.
She smiled at me, stealing my heart for the hundredth time. “Hi.”
