I am true to my word. I spend the night savoring every sweet inch of Addi. Tasting, teasing, worshiping her, and wringing as much pleasure from her body as she can possibly take before we collapse in a sated heap as the sun rises over the city that inspired the greatest literary love story in history. If you ask me, Romeo was an idiot. He should have fought harder for Juliet when he had the chance. The tragedy of their story should be a lesson to lovers. Everything falls apart when you don’t communicate with someone, when you let misunderstandings get in the way. When you don’t fight for what you want, for what you need to live and breathe.
As I watch her fall asleep in my arms, she is more breathtaking than ever. She is glowing, gentle, and soft as silk. She is my Venus, and I know - I will always fight for her, for what we have… no matter what life throws at us.
ADDI
Yesterday, I sat in the bathroom for what felt like hours, waiting and watching a small stick that would determine my future. When the plus sign appeared, I think a part of me died. Five days ago, I would have been terrified but excited at the prospect of becoming a mom, and bringing Carter’s baby into the world. Now that I know he doesn’t want kids, it’s the worst possible outcome for the life I thought I would have. I could never terminate this pregnancy, and the understanding that this heralds the end of my relationship with Carter was a devastating blow. I sat silently sobbing for the longest time, the world around me disappearing in a cacophony of white noise whooshing in my ears.
Today, I’m getting ready to spend two weeks alone with him. To savor everything about him - about us. It’s more than I thought I would have, but it will never be enough. I love him with everything that I am, and that’s why, when we get home, I need to leave. He doesn’t want children, and I won’t force him to live a life he doesn’t want. He would do the right thing by me, I know he would, but months or maybe even years from now he would resent me for it, and I couldn’t bear to see that look in his eyes. I also can’t get rid of our baby. If I hadn’t fallen pregnant, I would have lived a happy life with Carter - without kids. But now that I am pregnant, I love this baby and I’ll do my best to protect him or her until the day I die. I want this baby. I just wish it was what we both wanted. I’ve seen what can happen when a man is cornered with this responsibility. I won’t do it to him. I can’t.
Carter and I have decided to embark on a vacation all around Italy. He’s going to show me all the places he enjoyed growing up and we have no one to answer to but ourselves for fourteen days. Real life can wait, and I can pretend that the future is bright for us, just the way I want it to be. I’m going to make sure this is a time we both remember, and look back on with fondness in the years ahead. It’s going to be excruciating when I have to leave, and Carter will put up a fight; he’ll think I don’t love him. But hopefully, over time, he’ll look back at the time we’re about to spend together and realize that I love him more than I could ever possibly express.
The closest big town to Verona, that I’ve always wanted to see, is Venice, and it doesn’t disappoint. Carter organized a convertible Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder, in trademark bright orange, for us to travel around in the next few weeks. These boys don’t do anything by halves. The drive from Verona to Venice wasn’t a long one, but every bit of scenery here is breathtaking. We have to park the car outside of Venice which is such a strange concept. There are no roads! An ancient city down in the depths below, steeped in the history of so many lives lived. As we walk through the train station and out into the sunlight, I am completely speechless at the beauty before me.
“E’così bello qui.” [It’s so beautiful here]
“I hardly ever know what you’re saying, but it sounds amazing. I could listen to you speak Italian all day. It’s super sexy.”
He grabs me around the waist, letting me feel his length hardening against me. “Voglio che gridare per me, il mio amore. Solo per me. Tu sei più bella per me di tutta l' Italia. Ti amo più della vita stessa.” [I want you to scream for me, my love. Just for me. You are more beautiful to me than the whole of Italy. I love you more than life itself.]
I melt into his arms, completely beguiled by the unknown words of seduction that roll off his delectable tongue. “You had me at ‘voglio.’”
He smirks against my lips. “Seriously? I seduce you with my mad Italian skills and you give me a cheesy Jerry Maguire rip off?” He starts to tickle me relentlessly, making me convulse in the middle of the street.
“Stop. Stop, stop! I take it back. I love your mad skills.”
He continues to torment me. “And?”
“And…… I LOVE YOU. Mercy, please, MERCY!”
His lips find mine, his hands no longer torturing me as they slide down my sides to cup my ass. “Don’t you forget it, baby.”
We spend the rest of the day walking around Venice, taking selfies on the Rialto Bridge, buying venetian opera masks in the gorgeous little markets dotted throughout the city, and finally enjoy an amazing dinner in Piazza San Marco. Our hotel looks out over this famous square, and with such a magnificent backdrop, we make love into the early hours before I curl up – cocooned in Carter’s warmth and strength. but my mind wanders as soon as his breathing becomes shallow and even. I stare at him for what feels like hours, trying to capture everything about him and lock it away to keep close to my heart. My tears drip down onto the dusting of hair on his chest, and as I wipe them with my fingers, the familiar charge I feel whenever we are connected, sparks and ignites a new wave of desire deep inside. I begin to kiss and nuzzle his hard, toned, tanned flesh, seeking a comfort I will never find.
“Not had enough of me yet?” A sly grin creeps across his stunning features, his eyes still closed.
“I will NEVER get enough of you, Carter. Remember that.” My eyes twinkle with unshed tears, my voice laced with melancholy.
He tilts my chin toward him, pinning me with his gaze. “I will. I’m yours, Addi, for as long as you’ll have me… I’m yours.” A tear breaks free, making its way down my cheek towards my lips. Carter catches it with his tongue. “What’s wrong? Why so sad?”
“I’m not sad… I’m happy. I just feel so overwhelmed by how beautiful this city is, how beautiful you are when you’re here, and how lucky I am to have met you.” Before the extent of my despair spills from my mouth, I capture his bottom lip with my teeth, savoring the taste of him. It’s all the encouragement he needs to ravish me.
We spend the next day in bed, recovering from our night of passion. The only time I leave the bed is to be sick - in secret. I managed to convince Carter to go and get us some food while I ‘freshen up,’ but by the time he returns half an hour later, I’m wiped out, asleep on the bed. I think he assumed it was exhaustion from our sexathon, but the truth is, my body is changing, my energy being redirected to nurture the baby that grows inside me, and the constant lying to him has me completely and utterly emotionally drained.
As the week progresses, we work our way down the countryside, seeing so many quaint, authentic Italian towns that most tourists will never know even exist. We visit olive groves, churches, museums, beaches – I want to experience anything and everything with Carter. The water here is so clear and blue as far as the eye can see, the beaches white as snow. It’s not the season to be out sunbathing, but it doesn’t detract in any way from my appreciation of such wonderful surroundings.
Today we’re driving to Florence. Not only is it an amazing city, full of culture, art and some of the best shops a girl could ask for, it is also where Carter’s family are originally from. He still has family living on the outskirts of the city and he wants to take me to meet them. I’m apprehensive at first, it’s a big deal to meet so many members of his family at once. I don’t speak the language, and when we get back to New York… the spell will be broken, and I will become a distant memory to him in the months and years ahead. I make the decision to learn everything I can about Carter, his heritage, and his family here in Italy. This will be part of our child’s ide
ntity, and I want to be able to teach him or her everything I can about where they come from, and the amazing man that fathered them. By the time we reach a little town called Campi, twenty minutes outside of Florence, I am almost excited at the prospect of meeting everyone.
Carter’s aunt Theresa keeps trying to offer me drinks. “No wine for me, thank you.” I think this is the fourth time I’ve refused her in the three hours since we arrived.
She turns to Carter. “Why she no drink? Bambino? Carter!”
His face tightens as he admonishes her. “No, Zia. Cazzo fai madonna. Non spaventarla.” [No, aunt. What the fuck? Don’t frighten her.]
I don’t need to speak Italian to know that he’s not happy with her assumption. My heart sinks a little further into my ever-present despair. When he finishes cussing her out in Italian he moves over to sit next to me. “Are you ok, Addi? Now that I think about it, you haven’t really had much to drink since we touched down in Italy.”
I manage to force a smile. “Trust me. If you had the same travel sickness that I had on the way here, you wouldn’t be drinking much either. The thought of most things, including alcohol, still make me feel a little queasy.” He accepts my answer and goes back to catching up with his family.
There must be about twenty cousins here and five or six sets of aunts and uncles – I have trouble keeping track of everyone. It’s nice to watch Carter in his element, the whole family crowding around, loving him, full of affection. He speaks so fluently and with such ease, it’s a joy to witness, even when I have no idea what he’s saying. He tries to translate as much as he can, but I don’t want him to miss out on enjoying time with his family because of me. The evening passes quickly with lots of laughs and twice as many stories of Carter as a young boy, getting up to mischief with his cousins here in Italy during the long summers. I ask so many questions, gathering information to salt away and remember for our baby in the future. Carter watches me, with a massive, panty-dropping smile as I interact with his family. My face must mirror his as I observe him play with his cousins’ children. They range from eighteen months to nine years old, and they all love him. He’s adorable with them, and I can’t reconcile the man that doesn’t want a family of his own, with the man in front of me, surrounded by family and loving every minute of it. I guess having that level of extended family is more than enough for some people.
We stay in a gorgeous hotel in the center of Florence for a few days, with a view of the Duomo. We spend a lot of time with his family, but he carves out time for the two of us to explore the city together. He takes me around all the famous museums. I stand in awe of The Birth of Venus in the Uffizi, and am completely dumbstruck in front of The David in the Galleria. Having said that, The David is nothing compared to the sculpted perfection holding my hand as I walk the streets of Florence. We leisurely stroll up and down the Ponte Vecchio, Carter making me wait outside while he ducks into one of the jewelers. I take the opportunity to savor the sights and sounds of this magical place; watching as couples from all over the world enjoy the romance that this historic city inspires. He comes back out twenty minutes later, empty handed, telling me they didn’t have what he was looking for.
I’m a little sad when we leave Florence and his amazing family behind, but I’m happy that it’ll just be us for the remainder of our trip. With the top down, a breeze in my hair, and Michael Jackson’s Love Never Felt So Good blasting on the radio, we’re headed for Rome, and for a brief moment in time, I feel perfectly carefree. Just a woman, completely in love with the man of her dreams, an endless future of possibilities sprawled out before us like the vast expanse of road ahead. If only it could stay this way.
CARTER
I wish we could stay here forever. Italy feels like home to me, and having Addi here, and all to myself without the hassles and pressures of work has been amazing. Every day I spend with her, every hour that passes, I fall even more in love with her – if that’s even possible. If there was any doubt in my mind that she’s ‘The One,’ it’s been completely eradicated by our time here.
I’ve brought her to Rome for the final four days of our vacation. It won’t be enough time to show her all the beautiful treasures this city has to offer, but it will give her a taste, and we’ll be back in the future. There’s a myth that if you stand in front of the Fontana di Trevi, with your back to it, and throw a coin over your shoulder, if it lands in the water you’ll return to see it again. I do it every time I visit, and plan to take Addi to see it while we’re here.
The view of Rome from our suite is phenomenal - a panoramic vista of the ancient city, but the view behind me is even more breathtaking. Addi is asleep on the bed, rosy cheeked and rumpled from our afternoon of love making. She’s radiant. The sheets have pooled at her waist, her gorgeous breasts, plump and begging for my touch.
As the sun spills through the windows, kissing her skin, I can’t help but do the same. I crawl onto the bed, lowering my lips to capture her sweet budded nipples into my mouth, applying as little pressure as possible, suckling her, flicking my tongue over the hardened tip. My hand runs from her waist up and over her other breast. She stirs beneath me, her voice sleepy and so damn sexy.
“Mmmmm. I could get used to this as a wake-up call.” Her hands fist in my hair, holding me against her luscious breasts.
“Baby, the Italian diet agrees with you. I swear your tits look even better than usual. So fucking firm and plump. Ripe for me to taste.”
She flinches ever so slightly beneath me. “I’m hungry. Let’s go get something to eat.” She tries to push me away.
“What’s wrong? A minute ago you wanted me as your human alarm-clock and now you’re shoving me away.”
“Nothing’s wrong. I just want to get out of here for a while and grab a snack.” She gives me a saccharin sweet, if not somewhat forced smile, and I know better than to push her when she doesn’t want to talk.
We enjoy a delicious meal in one of the many piazzas that Rome has to offer and Addi seems to have gotten over her funk from earlier. After dinner, we take a leisurely stroll around the city, seeing the sights by moonlight. It feels different at night, but equally as amazing as it is during the day. The atmosphere is filled with romance; couples enjoying their surroundings, and each other. I throw my arm around Addi’s shoulder and hold her close, leading her down a non-descript cobbled alley, but the astounding landmark at the end of this dark little street is why I brought her here. I watch closely, my eyes fixed on her as I pull her out into Piazza di Trevi. Her eyes are aglow, wide as saucers, and glassy with unshed tears. I would give up everything I have to see the smile splitting her face right now - every day, for the rest of my life. She’s so fucking beautiful.
I pull her tight to my chest, whispering in her ear. “Do you like la Fontana di Trevi? La fontana è solo la metà bello come te, il mio tesoro.” [The fountain is only half as beautiful as you, my treasure.]
I revel in the shiver that courses through her body as my words caress her senses.
“It’s so beautiful, Carter. I’ve never seen anything so remarkable in my life. I could stare at it forever and never get tired of how magnificent it is.”
“I know how you feel, baby. I feel the same way… about you.” She turns in my arms, her eyes diverted from the masterpiece in front of her, and locked on mine.
“I love you more than I can ever tell you.”
Her declaration renders me speechless. And that doesn’t happen very often. “Addi…”
Her fingers dance across my lips. “Don’t say anything. Just kiss me. I want to remember this moment when I’m old and gray.”
“I’ll remind you, cara mia.”
I move my hands up into her silky black hair, gripping it, holding her in place as my lips descend on hers. I want to give her everything her heart desires, and if she wants to remember this kiss, then I will pour every ounce of love, passion, and desire I feel for her into it. I nibble on her, relishing her taste and how her breath hitches as my li
ps brush against soft skin. I lick the seam of her lips, a plea for her to give me what I want; one touch of her sweet little tongue and a familiar spark ignites inside me, spurring me on to deepen our kiss, to claim her as mine. Desire takes over and I find myself devouring her, ravishing her mouth with my tongue. Within seconds I am rock-hard, my cock straining against my pants, desperate to feel her warmth surrounding it. I finally pull back, aware of the fact that I don’t want to have a piazza full of strangers watch me lose control and fuck her until she screams, right here, right now. I swear, sometimes I think that I might not be able to curb that deep, dark desire I feel for her. It’s like a freight train when it hits, an unstoppable force between us, connecting us in a way that I have never felt with anyone else.
“Will you remember this, Tesoro? This kiss, this moment, this immeasurable love between us?”
“Every delicious, earth-shattering detail. Always.”
Our time here in Italy is coming to an end. Tomorrow we have to get on a plane and fly back to our real lives in New York. This has been the best two weeks of my life. Xander’s wedding seems like a lifetime ago; so much has happened, and my time with Addi has been phenomenal. I’ve wanted to ask her to move in with me so many times while we’ve been here, and there have been perfect moments, romantic moments, but every time I’ve wussed out. I’ve played every scenario out in my head. Will she freak the fuck out like she did in the Hamptons? Or will she freak out in a good way? Will she think it’s too soon? Will she think it’s an amazing idea? If I knew the answer, I wouldn’t be so fucking scared to. I’ve decided to wait until we’re back in New York; I don’t want her to think it’s a knee jerk reaction to us spending all our time together over the past few weeks. It’s easy to be with someone 24/7 when you’re on vacation, and I need her to know that I want day to day real life with her. The crabby days when she’s a hormonal bitch, the tired ones when she’s wiped out from work and just wants to crash on the couch, the lazy ones when all we want to do is hang out together at the apartment, and even the angry days when we piss each other off. But most of all I want every single day with her. To love, protect, and just… be, with her.
Relentless - Manhattan Knights Series Book Two Page 15
