Relentless - Manhattan Knights Series Book Two

by Parks, Sienna

  He gives me the smallest smile. “I know, Addi, and she can’t wait to see you.”

  There’s a circle of people surrounding Lily, but when Xander’s imposing frame appears, her eye is drawn to him like a moth to a flame, and it’s then that she sees me by his side. I don’t know how I thought she would react, but I’m elated when she practically starts shoving people out of the way to get to me, a massive grin on her face and tears in her eyes. She pulls me close, wrapping her arms around me; holding on as if she’s afraid I’ll disappear at any given moment.

  “Addi… God, I’m so happy to see you.” It’s all she can manage before the tears spill out. “I’ve missed you so much.”

  I hold on to her as tightly as she does me. “God, Lily, I’m so sorry. I’ve missed you, too, more than you could ever know.” We just stand, crying in each other’s arms, oblivious to the party going on around us.

  Xander steps in after a while, almost prying us apart. “This is supposed to be a happy occasion, ladies. Let’s not forget, my amazing wife has just become a published author.”

  We stand, wiping our mascara streaked tears from our eyes, laughing at how ridiculous we must look to everyone around us right now.

  “He’s right, Lil. This is your night. We’re not spending it blubbering like a couple of idiots. Let’s get this party started. I’m so freaking proud of you, Lilliput. I always knew you would make your dream a reality.” We give each other a happy hug before we join Xander and all of the other revelers in celebrating this amazing woman, my best friend, Lily Rhodes – author.

  I can feel his eyes on me the entire night, but as the hours tick by, I realize that he has no intention of speaking to me. I still can’t stop myself from glancing in his direction every so often, and whenever I do, he’s staring at me, studying me, his eyes raking my body from head to toe. It’s thrilling, chilling, and devastating all rolled into one. I would give anything to feel his touch one last time, to breathe in his addictive scent while he ravishes my body.

  I try to distract myself, making the rounds of friends I haven’t seen in months, exchanging small talk and pleasantries, everyone avoiding the white elephant in the room. I can see it on each and every one of their faces – the unanswered question – Why did you disappear, Addi? Gladly no one has the guts to ask, and I’m not going to offer up that information any time soon, or ever.

  I’m finding that one of the major downsides of pregnancy is that I have a bladder the size of a pea now, and I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve had to use the restroom this evening. Returning from what I can only assume is my four hundredth trip to the restroom, I’m accosted by Carter in the lobby.

  “Addison.” The cool, detached way he says my name knocks the wind out of me.

  “Hello, Carter. I… It’s…”

  “Save it. I think you’ve said all you need to say to me, but there are a few things I need to say to you.”

  His eyes devour my body as I stand no more than 2 ft. away from him. His smell invades my senses, even more masculine and arousing than I remember; my memories, a cheap imitation of the real thing. My entire body aches at his proximity, and at the gulf that has formed between us.

  “Addi. I understand that you don’t love me, I’m not here to try and change your mind.”

  “Carter. Please. Don’t.”

  He continues. “It’s painfully obvious to me now. Why you left and why we could never work.” My splintered heart can’t take much more of this. “But you’re punishing everyone else around you – Lily, your parents. I don’t want that for you. My failings and what happened with us shouldn’t come between you and the people you do love.”

  “Stop.” My voice is a hoarse whisper; painful as I speak past the lump in my throat. “You don’t understand.”

  “I understand perfectly.”

  “NO - you clearly don’t understand anything.”

  Anger flares in his eyes. “Now just wait a fucking minute, Addi, I’m trying to help you here, even though you dumped me and fell off the face of the planet in the blink of a fucking eye.”

  “Like you even cared. You never tried to call. You never texted me. You obviously weren’t that heartbroken.” I don’t know why I said that, I’m just grasping at anything to stop myself from confessing everything to him right here in the lobby.

  “What the fuck, Addi? You’re upset because I didn’t come groveling to you after you told me you didn’t love me, and that you never had? Did I bruise your delicate fucking ego? I’m ever so goddamn sorry. MY… MOTHERFUCKING… BAD!” He runs his fingers through his hair in frustration.

  “I’m so sorry, Carter.” I’m overwhelmed with emotion, and all I can do, is the same thing that I always do when faced with a situation I can’t deal with, I run. I turn on my heels and flee for the exit, my hand outstretched to hail a cab as soon as the cool night air hits my face. I can hear Carter behind me.

  “Addi. Wait. I didn’t mean that. Don’t fucking run. Addi… Addi!”

  A cab pulls up and I grab at the handle, shaking as I jump in and beg the driver to move, to get me away from here. As I look behind me with blurred vision, I see Carter, standing in the middle of the road, his arms in the air.

  “Cazzo. Addi. Fuck!” I hate myself even more than I did before, if that’s possible. I’ve learned nothing. I ran away… AGAIN. What the fuck is the matter with me? I broke my promise to my parents that I wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye, and I broke my promise to Xander that I wouldn’t cause any trouble tonight. As soon as Lily realizes I’m gone, she’s going to be upset, and yet again, with my selfishness, I’ve ruined everything.

  I don’t deserve to be a mom. What hope does this baby have with me as its mother? That thought is the last straw, the unbearable epiphany that has me sobbing my heart out in another New York cab, driving away from Carter… again.

  CARTER

  I’m banging on the door to Addi’s apartment after convincing the doorman to let me in without calling up to her first. “Open the door, Addi. We need to talk.” There is silence for what seems like forever. “I know you’re in there. I watched you come up.”

  “There’s nothing to talk about, Carter. Please, just go away.”

  “I can’t do that and you know it. You at least owe me this.” The door slowly opens, her tear streaked face like a knife to my chest. She gestures me inside, reluctance evident on her face. “Is it that repulsive to you to be in the same room with me now, Addison?”

  Her voice is a whisper. “That could never be true and you know it.”

  “Why would I know that? You walked out on me without so much as a second thought for how you made me feel, or what I wanted, and you started a new life somewhere else. I tried to speak to you tonight, and you fucking ran, Addi… you ran. It’s classic you. I don’t know why I’m still surprised by it.”

  “I guess I deserved that. But don’t ever think that I never gave you a second thought. I was devastated when I left.”

  I can’t hide the distain in my voice. “I highly fucking doubt that.”

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Well, fill me in, Addi, because I was left without a fucking clue that night.”

  “I left for you. So that you could have the life you wanted.”

  “You’re not even making sense, Addi. Don’t fucking kid yourself that you did any of this for me - you did it for yourself, because you wanted something I obviously couldn’t fucking give you. If you loved me… you never would have left.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “The fuck it isn’t! You’re like a fucking grenade. You explode without any consideration for the people that might get caught in the crossfire. Do you have any idea what you did to me when you left? DO YOU?” Her tears begin to fall, but I’ve held it in for so long, I need her to know how I feel. “You fucking killed me, Addi. You shredded my heart, ripped it out of my fucking chest, and stomped all over it.”

  “I know.” Her words
are laced with remorse.

  “I don’t think you fucking DO, actually! You have NO IDEA what it took for me to open up to you, for me to love you, for me to trust you, and you fucking threw it away like it was nothing, like it was less than nothing.”

  “Carter… I need to explain.”

  “Maybe you should have done that sooner. I don’t need to hear why I wasn’t good enough for you now, Addi. It’ll just add insult to injury.”

  “What do you want from me then? Why did you come here?” Her defeated tone makes me want to pull her into my arms and tell her it will all be okay, but it’s not my place to do that now. My hands fist at my sides, fighting the urge to reach out and touch her.

  I feel sick to my stomach as I choke out the reason I’m here.

  “When are you going to tell, Lily?”

  “Tell her what?”

  “That you’re pregnant.”

  Her face falls at my words. She knew this was the reason I came to confront her. She’s not that naïve.

  “Wh… what? How? How do you know?” Maybe she is that naïve, or maybe she never fully understood how much I loved every inch of her body.

  “You don’t think I remember every curve and line of your body? I fucking memorized it, and it’s on a permanent loop in my head, tormenting me, night, after night, after night.” I feel bile rising in my throat as I continue. “Is it his?”

  She looks shocked. “What are you talking about? Who?”

  “The guy I saw you with in Dallas.”

  Realization dawns. “You came to Dallas? When? Why?”

  “Yes. Like the fucking idiot that I am, I came to bring you home to be with me. It was about a month ago. Xander found out where you were and as soon as he told me, I took the first plane out. I didn’t even bother checking into my hotel before I came looking for you.” Her face is distraught as I continue. “I watched as a customer was coming on to you. He came to your rescue before I could. It broke my heart all over again to see you cling to him for comfort. It fucking slayed me, Addi. I did however beat the ever living shit out of the guy that had been grabbing at you like a piece of meat. After that I bought a ticket on the next available flight, and I came back to New York - a fucking empty shell.”

  I watch as the tears spill from her eyes. “That was you?”

  “Yes.”

  “I had the strangest feeling that night. It was as if I could feel you everywhere I went. Oh God, Carter. I’m so sorry.”

  The lump in my throat is too much to swallow down. I choke out possibly the hardest words I’ve ever had to say. “I’m happy for you, Addi. You’ll make a wonderful mother, and he obviously adores you. I just wish it could have been with me.”

  “What?”

  “I said I’m happy for you.”

  “No! The other part.”

  “I just wish it could have been me. That we could have had a family together. It was my dream for us.”

  “But you said you didn’t want kids.”

  “When?”

  “At the rehearsal dinner, to your mom. Then you were horrified at the mere suggestion by your aunt in Florence. You called a period a fucking high five from God – what was I supposed to think?” She looks so distraught. It’s killing me not to comfort her.

  “Addi. You had to have known that I was only saying those things so that I didn’t scare you off? How many times had you run from me? Look at how you reacted when I told you I loved you for the first time. Of course I wanted to be the father of your kids. I wanted everything with you – the house, the wedding, and the children that would be just as beautiful as you.”

  She sinks down onto the couch. “Oh my God! What have I done?” I crouch in front of her, desperate to touch her, to comfort her. “What have I done, Carter?”

  “Talk to me, Tesoro. What is it?” Her sobbing makes me ache.

  “It’s yours. The baby. It’s yours, Carter.”

  What the fuck?

  “I don’t understand.”

  This can’t be real.

  “I found out I was pregnant the morning of the wedding. I was terrified to tell you. I was 99% sure the night of the rehearsal dinner, but I still had to take the test to confirm. When your mom brought up the subject of kids, I was devastated when you said you didn’t want any.”

  “Holy Shit, Addi.”

  “I couldn’t get rid of it, Carter. As much as I love you, and as much as I wanted to build a future with you, I couldn’t get rid of it. I didn’t want you to be trapped living a life you didn’t want. A life that you would end up resenting me for.”

  She breaks down completely, sobs wracking her fragile body. I can’t hold back anymore. I scoop her delicate frame into my arms and carry her into the bedroom. I lie down on the bed, pulling her tight against my chest, my heart thundering against her back. Eventually the sobs turn to whimpers, and the whimpers fade until she finally passes out, her breathing becoming even and peaceful. I take this precious moment to move her hair out of the way, tracing the lines of her face ever so gently with my fingers.

  “I wanted it all, Tesoro. I wanted you to trust me, to love me, to be the mother of my child, to be my lover and my wife.” She stirs at my touch. “I love you so much, Addi. I failed you, but I won’t fail our baby.”

  She turns in my arms, awake and staring at me with the softest, sweetest eyes I have ever seen. “Touch me. Please. I need to feel you. I’ve missed you so much, it’s a constant ache in my chest.” I can’t resist her. I’ve wanted this for so long - for her to want me.

  Without a word, I capture her mouth. Two months of devastation and longing are obliterated by this one small but overpowering connection. She tastes of cherries and Addi, just the way I remember, only sweeter. I suck and nibble at her lips, begging her to let me in, and as her tongue darts out to meet mine, an explosion of sensation erupts inside me. It’s a heady feeling and it fuels my desire in a way I’ve never felt before. I lose all control. We grab at each other’s clothing, ripping it, tearing at it, until only our naked flesh remains.

  The feel of her skin against mine is divine, her slightly larger breasts pressed against the hard muscles of my chest, the beginnings of her rounding belly against my abs. Knowing that it’s my baby growing inside her, that it is my seed causing these changes to her lush body, is the most erotic... sensual feeling in the world. I shift her onto her back, running my hand down her curves, learning the contours of her new body. My hand stops on her belly, gently caressing it. She tries to push me away.

  “I know I’m getting fat. It’s disgusting.”

  I move her hand and continue my ministrations. “Nothing about you is disgusting, Addi. Your body is more beautiful now than it has ever been.” I kiss every inch of her stomach, enjoying how it feels on my lips, soft and supple; her naked flesh quivering at my touch. As I make my way up her body, her breath becomes shallow, her moans the most amazing sound to grace my ears in what feels like forever. As I take her nipple into my mouth, my own groans reverberate against her skin, causing her back to arch off the bed, pushing herself further into my mouth. “Fuck. Addi. I’ve missed this. I’ve missed everything about you.” I flick my tongue over the puckered tip, taking hold of her other breast in my hand. “Oh God. You feel amazing.” Her breasts are fuller, heavier, and just fucking perfect.

  “I’ve dreamt of this every night that we’ve been apart, Carter. Please… don’t wait any longer. Please, make love to me. I need you.” I want so badly to take my time and savor every moment, but her words stir the urgency inside me.

  I grab my cock, positioning myself at her entrance. “God, baby, you’re so wet for me. I need a taste of you. I’ve been starved of you for so long.” I pull her hips up, grabbing her ass and lowering my lips to her glistening folds. Oh My God. She tastes even better than I remember. Her moans and gentle whispers of my name are divine. As I continue to lick and suckle her clit, she falls apart beneath me, her orgasm a moment of pure bliss, not only for her, but for me. I’ve been lost w
ithout this connection, without her.

  I drop her hips down to the bed and slowly inch myself inside her; my eyes rolling back in my head. I’m struggling not to come as soon as I feel her warm, wet flesh pulsing around my engorged tip. “You’re so damn tight, baby.” It takes me a few minutes to calm down before I can sink all the way inside her, seating myself to the hilt, stretching her to her fullest.

  “God, Carter. You feel so amazing.” Everything about this feels right, her voice, her body, the way I fit her so perfectly. I can’t get enough. I start to move – long, slow thrusts inside her. It’s a sweet kind of torture, achingly magnificent. I lower my mouth to hers.

  “Taste yourself on me, Tesoro. Taste what I do to you. Remember it, and never forget it.” She sucks my bottom lip, biting it gently with her teeth, savoring her own juices. It’s so fucking hot, and I need to move faster, harder, but always careful not to let my body weight press against her stomach. As she grinds into me, meeting me thrust for thrust, I lose myself to the sensation, lust and desire taking over any rational thought. I just need to feel her. I lift her off the bed, cradling her close to my chest as I bring us up into a seated position.

  “Ride me, Addi.”

  She immediately responds, anchoring her hands on my shoulders as she begins to move up and down the length of me, her clit brushing against the base of my cock as she picks up pace.

  “God, Carter, I’m close. I need you to come with me. Oh… God.”

  “I’m right there with you, baby. Just let go.”

  Harder, faster, she looks fucking perfect riding me like she owns me, and she fucking does. I watch her beautiful breasts as they bounce up and down with every thrust, taking first one and then the other into my mouth. When she starts to tighten around my cock, I run my hands up her back, fisting them in her hair, holding her so I can watch as she falls over the edge.

  “Look at me, Addi. I need to see you come.” She bucks wildly against me, chasing her release and catapulting me into mine. “Holy fuck. Yes… cazzo… mia dolce bella ragazza… Addi.” [Fuck... My sweet beautiful girl] We come together with an intensity and passion that has been haunting my dreams for months. It feels too fucking good, and I know that she feels it just as much as I do.