Love on Fire

by E. L. Todd

  “I can tell you aren’t happy with that response…”

  “I thought you and Char were long over.”

  “We are over.”

  “Then why do you feel this way? You’ve been gone for three months. Are you still screwing?”

  “No. We’re just friends—like we agreed on.”

  He lowered his arm from the rack then came closer to me, halting his workout altogether. “How can you feel this way after being gone for so long?”

  I shrugged. “Not sure. Every time I talk to her, I just…enjoy it.”

  He grabbed the towel off his shoulder and patted his forehead again. “Neil…” He wrapped it around the back of his neck to absorb the sweat that dripped from his scalp down to his back. “Don’t go down that road again. She needs something stable. She needs a man who’s always going to be around.”

  Kyle popped into my head. “Nothing is going to happen. She doesn’t seem interested in me anymore.”

  “What makes you say that?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know…it just doesn’t seem like it.”

  “Charlotte is a really amazing woman. I have no idea why Cameron flipped out, because he had the perfect life. Even if she can’t have children, she’s still twice the woman than any other chick he could possibly find. She deserves the best, a man who’s gonna put her back together and never break her. No offense, man, but that’s not you. You had a short-term fling, and it’s over. Don’t go down that road again.”

  “Wow…didn’t realize you had such a low opinion of me.”

  “I don’t have a low opinion of you. I think you’re a great man, and I couldn’t be prouder. But you told me you’ll never get married or have children. You’ll always be dedicated to your job, and I respect that. But that means the only thing you can offer Charlotte is heartbreak. I’m just looking out for her. She’s family to me. I don’t care if you guys want to fool around and use each other, but I don’t want Charlotte to get hurt. I don’t think she’s capable of having a long-term fling without getting attached. I know her pretty well.”

  That was the reason I hadn’t told Charlotte how I felt. As much as I wanted her in my bed again, I didn’t want to hurt her. She said she didn’t want to lose me, and the best way to do that was by staying friends. I also had no idea how she felt about me. Three months was a long time, and she’d probably gone weeks without even thinking about me. “The last thing I want to do is hurt her. You and I share the same sentiment.”

  “Good. Then forget about her.” He turned back to the weights like the conversation was over.

  “And how do you just forget someone?”

  He turned back around. “You can start by taking that blonde home.”

  I sat in my living room and looked out the back window, imagining Torpedo lying in the grass under the tree. It was almost dark, so he wouldn’t need the shade anyway. The TV was on, but I ignored it.

  After my conversation with Vic, I went back to the blonde to make a move.

  But I just couldn’t do it.

  I couldn’t force myself to be with a woman I didn’t want.

  Fuck, I wanted Charlotte.

  Now, my phone was in my hand, and I was considering texting her. Even if I couldn’t be physical with her, I just wanted to be with her. We could spend the night making fun of Torpedo while drinking Slurpees, and I would be happy. Horny, but happy.

  I gave in and texted her. I’m in the neighborhood and realized I haven’t seen your new place. Can I stop by? It was such a lame excuse, but I couldn’t say what I wanted outright. Being with other women was much easier because I could be straightforward about my desires. But with Charlotte, I had to stick to the friend zone, which meant I had to behave like a buddy.

  The three dots lit up on the screen before her reply appeared. Sure! =)

  I pulled up to the house then rang the doorbell.

  My heart was beating so fucking fast. This girl made me nervous, which was saying something because I’d launched into space with millions of pounds of explosive rocket fuel without letting my heart rate exceed eighty beats per minute.

  She opened the door, wearing tiny little pajama shorts and a white tank top. Unfortunately, she wore a bra, so I couldn’t see her sexy nipples and the natural roundness of her tits. “You got here fast. You must have been close—” She was pushed out of the way as Torpedo sprinted past her then jumped on me.

  “Whoa, boy.” I laughed as his front paw smacked against my stomach as he rose on his hind legs. He barked then let his tongue hang out of his mouth as he looked at me, like he’d missed me the entire time I was gone. “I missed you too, man.” I rubbed him behind the ears and let him use me as a crutch.

  “Oh my god, I’m so sorry. He’s never done that before.” She grabbed him by the collar. “Torpedo, down.”

  He obeyed but issued a quiet whine in protest.

  A feeling of longing ran over me, a sensation of homesickness. This was what I missed most while I was on the moon. It wasn’t my family or my friends. It was this beautiful girl and her dog.

  She dragged him inside. “Don’t embarrass me like that again.”

  “He’s fine.” I chuckled as I let myself inside and shut the door behind me. “Honestly, no one ever hugs me like that when I get home. It’s nice.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Thanks for being so nice about it. He usually has better manners than that.” She picked up a toy and set it on his blanket on the couch. “Come on, get up here.”

  He hopped up, his tail still wagging.

  “Play with your toy and relax.” She turned around and came back to me. “Alright, where were we before you got charged by a beast?”

  Her green eyes were bright with a zest for life, and her ponytail kept all the hair off her beautiful face. She didn’t wear makeup since she was prepared to stay in for the night, but a gorgeous woman like her didn’t need any of that crap. She was stunning entirely on her own. It was hard not to stare, not to fantasize about what I could be doing to her that very moment.

  “Neil?”

  I’d been zoning out for a long time. “Sorry, I’m still recovering from that hit.”

  She chuckled then turned to her living room. “Well, this is the main room. It’s all my old furniture, but it has a lot more room.”

  “Yeah, it’s really nice. Looks like you got a new TV.”

  “I had to. The old one got smashed during the move.”

  “Yikes.”

  She shrugged. “I needed a new TV anyway, so I upgraded and got a bigger one. This room is so much larger than the living room in my apartment that I needed a large screen.” She walked forward and entered the dining area. “I can have five people over for dinner, so that’s cool.”

  “Very nice.” I watched her walk into the kitchen, loving the way those little shorts practically showed her ass cheeks.

  “This is the kitchen. I’ve got tons of counter space so I can cook a feast.”

  “You’re welcome to cook me dinner anytime.”

  She chuckled then walked down the hallway. “A boring hallway…no big deal. These are the two guest bedrooms, the bathroom, and then my master suite.” She opened the door and stepped inside, showing her white dressers and bedframe and the pink bedspread on her mattress. “I’ve got more space in here, so that’s nice too.”

  It was a major improvement to her apartment and suited her much better. But all I could think about was the last time we were on that bed together, our sweaty bodies writhing in passion. I wondered if she’d had another man in that bed since I’d been gone. I didn’t dare ask. “I really like it.”

  “I like it too.” She walked back into the hallway and entered the living room. “And that concludes the grand tour.”

  “You did an excellent job.”

  “You want a beer or anything? I’ve got some IPAs in the fridge.”

  “No, I’m okay.” I was trying to bulk up and get my old strength back, which meant cutting calories, especially from thing
s like beer. I took a seat on the couch and saw that she had a preseason basketball game on.

  “Suit yourself.” She got one for herself and took the seat beside me.

  On the other couch was Torpedo, who was staring at me anxiously with his toy in his mouth, quietly begging me to join him.

  “He’s giving you the guilt trip,” she said. “Just ignore him.”

  “Is that possible?”

  “It’s hard in the beginning, but you get used to it. So, what’s going on with you?” She crossed her legs, her shorts rising up a few extra inches with the movement. She brought the mouth of the bottle to her lips and took a drink.

  Everything she did distracted me, from her sexy legs to those plump lips as they sealed around the bottle. “I’ve been working a lot.”

  “That’s ridiculous, considering what you just did.”

  “There’s just as much work that needs to be done as up there. And I’ve been hitting the gym with Vic.”

  “Why?”

  “Getting back into shape.”

  “You look like you’re in perfect shape to me,” she blurted.

  She treated me like I was nothing more than a friend, but the compliment suggested otherwise…or maybe that was just wishful thinking. “Thanks, but I always lose muscle mass during my missions. Lesser gravity creates lesser resistance for our muscles, so they atrophy. When I return to Earth, the first few months are about protein shakes and exercise.”

  “That sounds like a lot of work.”

  “Being in shape makes the launches easier. I’m usually pretty strong for the first six weeks, so working is easier. Vic has been coming with me since he’s a meathead.”

  “A meat what?”

  “It means a beefy guy who’s at the gym all the time.”

  “Oh, gotcha. It’s nice that you guys spend some time together.”

  “Yeah…it is nice.” We talked about work, women, and beer. “A woman made a pass at him, and he was such a dick to her. Sometimes it’s fun to watch, and sometimes I just feel bad for the girls.”

  “He doesn’t wear his wedding ring to the gym?”

  “No, he does.”

  “Then why are women hitting on him?”

  I guess she shared the same viewpoint as my brother. “I don’t think they care.”

  “Gross.” She took a drink from her beer. “Vivian slept with Cameron knowing full well he was married. I know I should only be mad at Cameron, but it’s still disgusting to sleep with someone else’s husband. I could never do something like that…”

  Her integrity made her more desirable. “I’ve never seen my brother so committed to a woman. They’ve been married for years, but he’s still just as involved now as he was then.”

  “That’s so romantic… Stacy is so lucky. After everything that happened with Cameron, I lost all faith in men, marriage, and relationships. But Vic makes me believe true love is still out there… It’s just extremely rare.”

  “It is out there, Char. Cameron was just a mistake.”

  She took a long drink of her beer then set it on the table next to her. Her eyes were on the TV for a long time, like she was thinking about something deeply. “He came by a few nights ago…”

  “Cameron?” I asked, skeptical.

  She nodded. “He apologized to me. Said he felt terrible for everything that happened.”

  “At least he admits he was an asshole.”

  “Yeah…I guess he and Vivian are going their separate ways. They were staying together because of the baby.”

  I already knew where this was going. Cameron apologized, and then he made a move. He finally realized he was a goddamn idiot who threw away the perfect woman. I hoped she didn’t say yes…and not just for my own selfish reasons. “What did you say when he asked to get back together?”

  She turned her face toward me. “What makes you assume that?”

  “If he came to his senses and apologized, that means he’s not stupid anymore. And if he’s not stupid anymore, of course, he’s gonna do everything he can to get you back.”

  She watched me for a while before she turned away. “Well…you’re right.”

  “And your response?”

  “Come on, you really think I would have said yes?” She turned back to me, a little disgruntled by the assumption.

  “I didn’t assume anything. That’s why I asked.”

  She pivoted her body toward me, both of her legs coming into contact with my left one. “I loved that man so much. I’d have done anything for him in a heartbeat. I thought we would be together forever, but even though he seemed so sincere, that wasn’t enough. He broke my trust, and once trust is broken, it can never be repaired. I told him I didn’t want to be friends either. I don’t want to be anything.”

  That was a relief, not just because I wanted her myself. I didn’t want her to be with a man who treated her like trash. I wanted her to be with someone who adored her, to be with a man like Vic…someone who would be faithful no matter what. “You made the right decision.”

  “Yeah, but it still didn’t feel good. I didn’t get any satisfaction or revenge. It hurt to hurt him.”

  “Because that’s the kind of person you are…” She was too good to hold grudges, too saintly for revenge. The woman didn’t have a mean bone in her body. Her heart was too pure for evil.

  “I hope he falls in love again, and this time, he’s the man he should have been with me.”

  I didn’t possess her good heart or her compassion. I was cold and unforgiving. I understood good and evil—and nothing else. Perhaps my time in the military made me that way. But I didn’t think Cameron deserved happiness, even after he apologized. What he did was still disgusting. What kind of man cheats on his wife after he finds out she’s barren? As if he had every right to do what he wanted because she couldn’t give him what he wanted. She wasn’t livestock that he bought from a farm.

  “Anyway…that’s what’s new with me.” She ran her fingers through her ponytail, pulling it to one side to expose her shoulder. She had the softest skin, the kind that could be kissed for hours as foreplay. When her eyes returned to mine, there was a hint of vulnerability in her gaze. She was open with me, not putting up any walls like she did with other people.

  It only made me want her more.

  Silence passed, and we just stared at each other. My brown eyes were focused on hers with sharp intensity. Her green ones were a little shy, like she could feel my desire but chose to pretend she didn’t.

  There was still chemistry here…hot and fiery.

  Or maybe it was just my desperate imagination.

  I’d give anything in the world, all the money in my bank account and the deed to my house, if I could just kiss her right now, kiss her like she was mine. My palm ached to slide up those gorgeous legs until I felt her perky ass. I wanted to pull her on top of me, feel my cock slide into that wet pussy, and then come deep inside her like I owned her.

  I wanted to live in the past.

  But Vic’s words haunted me. My own conscience did the same. Did I only want this woman because I couldn’t have her? If that were the case, I would still be sleeping with other women. I was monogamous with a woman who had no idea how much I wanted her. It was twisted.

  Maybe I should tell her.

  But where would it go? Even if I wanted a future with her, I had nothing to offer her. I’d be leaving sometime this year, and I had no idea when I would come back…or if I would come back at all. How could I put her through that? How could I hurt someone I cared about? She wasn’t just some random woman who meant nothing to me.

  She was different.

  So different that I was different.

  I pulled myself together and made the right decision. “It’s getting late, and I have work in the morning…” I lifted myself from the couch and moved to the door, turning my back on her so I wouldn’t have to see how sexy she looked on the couch. I had to force myself to leave, not to entertain myself with thoughts of fucking her on t
hat pink bed.

  “Yeah…I should get some sleep too.” She walked me to the front door.

  Torpedo joined her.

  I crossed the threshold then turned around to face her. “Thanks for giving me a tour. It’s a great house.”

  “Thanks…”

  I stopped and stared at her, but if I kept staring at her, nothing good would happen.

  But she stared at me just as much.

  I finally turned around.

  “Neil?”

  Her beautiful voice stilled me, halted me in my tracks because I could never disobey something so lovely. My heart started to race, exactly the way it did before I kissed her. I slowly turned around and looked at her again, just as surprised by her beauty as the first time I saw her.

  “Can I hug you?”

  It was a simple request, friendly in nature, but to me, it was the sexiest thing she could have asked.

  “I haven’t hugged you since you’ve been back. I just thought…” She never finished her sentence.

  I came back to her, and my hands slid around her slender waistline. I pulled her into me with an unbreakable force, my arms turning into steel bars of a cage she could never escape. My chin rested on her head, and I closed my eyes, the muscles of my arms aching because they were so tight. The second I felt her in my embrace, I didn’t want to let her go. I wanted to scoop her into my arms and carry her to bed. I wanted to be the man between her legs, to chase off anyone else who was interested by giving her my affection every single night.

  But I had to settle for this—an innocent embrace.

  Her cheek rested against my chest, and she stayed there, her arms around my waist.

  I could hold her all night and watch the sun rise the next morning, but the longer I held her, the harder I became. I wasn’t ashamed of my attraction to her, but I didn’t want to poke her in the stomach for fifteen minutes straight.

  My arms dropped and I pulled away. “Goodnight.” I didn’t look at her again because I knew what would happen if I did. I kept my eyes on the ground and kept walking.

  Her gentle voice erupted behind me. “Goodnight…”