Rocks in the Stream

by Lewis Whelchel

  “Oh, Anne,” laughed Elizabeth, “I am certain I will not be ill.”

  Elizabeth said all she could to reassure Anne, but Anne’s fears were not quieted by her assurances.

  Having said all she could, Elizabeth stepped out onto the porch and looked around her. The woods to the north seemed inviting, so she told Anne that she would walk for a little while in that direction.

  “I will return in no time at all.”

  She had been indoors far too long. The feel of a warm breeze and the sounds of birds in the trees strengthened and refreshed her. She felt animated and rejuvenated as she walked through the woods around the house. Recalling a place a short distance away where she knew a stream was to be found, she steered her path in that direction.

  * * * * *

  THE WATER HAD NEVER LOOKED more clear and inviting. Sitting on a rock, Elizabeth put her hand in the stream, allowing the water to pass through her fingers, and rejoiced in the sensation. She lost herself in the pleasure of being outdoors, unconscious of the passing of time. Quite inattentive to everything around her, she did not notice the approach of a gentleman.

  * * * * *

  Anne could not let Miss Elizabeth leave the house without feelings of misgiving and regret and nervously paced back and forth in the entryway listening for her return. After not too long a time, she heard footsteps approaching and thought, with no small relief, that Miss Elizabeth had returned, but it was Mr. Darcy who entered the house.

  “Good afternoon, Anne.” Anne appeared to be fretful and uncommonly pale.

  “What is the matter?”

  He was fearful that Elizabeth had taken ill once again. Anne’s agitated manner was clearly alarming.

  “It is Miss Elizabeth, sir. She has left the house to walk about the grounds. I tried to dissuade her, but she would not listen. She has been gone these ten minutes at least.”

  “Do you know where she went? Did she say where she might go?”

  “She said she was going to walk into the woods to the north. I am sorry, but she would not be prevented from going.”

  “We do not want to give Mr. Bingley any cause for alarm. Please wait in Miss Elizabeth’s room, and I will go after her.”

  * * * * *

  WENDING HIS WAY IN THE direction that Anne had indicated, Darcy’s thoughts were in turmoil. How could he forgive himself if something should happen to Elizabeth?

  He took a deep breath to calm himself and then laughed. There was, perhaps, no way of preventing such a circumstance, for that same independent spirit that possessed her before her fall possessed her still, and he imagined she could not long endure the restriction of her room. He would find her and return her to Netherfield, offering every argument for the need for her to comply with Mr. Manning’s directions and would apologize to that man for Elizabeth should her indiscretion become known.

  It was not long before he reached the water. Looking downstream, where the brush and woods were clear, he caught sight of a vision he would never forget. Sitting on a rock next to the stream, with her hand in the water, was Elizabeth. The sunlight glistened on her dark hair, and exertion had lent a delightful appearance of liveliness to her complexion. She was an image of beauty and loveliness.

  He was able to observe her for a few moments without being seen. He knew it was wrong not to make his presence known to her, but he could not help but admire the gracefulness of her movements and the look of contentment that suffused her face.

  He gently spoke her name so as not to alarm her.

  She looked up and favored him with the most radiant smile he had ever beheld. He gloried in the fact that it was all for him.

  How he loved . . . He stopped himself in the middle of the treacherous thought. However true it might be, it was not permissible for him to love her.

  “Good afternoon. I understand that Netherfield became a little too confining for you today.” He approached her slowly and then sat on a rock beside her.

  “Indeed it did, sir. Did you come in search of me, or do I owe the pleasure of meeting you to coincidence?”

  He knew she was teasing him, and he felt his resolve melt away. She looked lovelier and her disposition was more cheerful and playful than he had ever witnessed in her.

  “I came upon Anne in the entryway as I returned to the house, and she told me of your escape. I immediately came after you.” He paused for a moment, matching her gaze. “She is very worried about you, as am I.”

  Elizabeth smiled at him.

  “I recall that Mr. Manning’s instructions to you were to remain in bed awhile longer.” He looked at her with a raised eyebrow, as if to playfully scold her.

  “I am sorry, sir, and you are correct, of course, but I could not endure another moment without some fresh air. I rarely spend every day indoors, so you must know how impatient I was for exercise.”

  “You are forgiven, but are you certain you are well enough to be so thoroughly disregarding Mr. Manning’s orders?”

  “I am, sir. You need not worry yourself.”

  “I believe you, for I have never seen you look lovelier than you do now.”

  She blushed in a becoming way.

  “And you, sir, look very well yourself.” She favored him with cheerful laughter.

  “You cannot know how pleased I am with your recovery. I was so worried. I was so . . . uncertain.”

  She was silent for a moment, taking in the scene before her. There was a small bird bathing in a pool of water on the edge of the stream, and the breeze moved in a lazy manner through the trees, causing them to nod their approval to a perfect day.

  “I owe it all to you, I believe. Anne told me all you did for me. At first, I confess, I was uncomfortable,” she instinctively reached out her hand and touched his arm, “but I am not any longer.”

  “I have something I ought to return to you. It was next to you when you fell. I have kept it and have been carrying it with me ever since.

  Her face brightened with curiosity as he showed her the purple ribbon.

  “That is from my bonnet! Is it your habit to carry ribbon around with you, sir?”

  He paused and looked deeply into her dark, fine eyes. “No, but I have been unable to part with this one.”

  She could not respond. Just then, the breeze carried a lock of hair onto her face, and as she raised her hand to brush it back, he reached out in a quick motion and held it. Time seemed to stop for a moment as he peered into her eyes. She felt her pulse quicken and was grateful that she was sitting down.

  “It is my favorite color.”

  She sat motionless, and felt, rather than saw him lift her hand to his lips and kiss it.

  The beauty of the place, the idea that she was alone with him and the feel of his lips on her hand, caused her heart to bound, and she nearly trembled from delight. He had been carrying her ribbon with him all this time. It could only mean that he returned her love.

  He opened her fingers and placed the ribbon in her hand. Instead of releasing it, he raised it to his lips and placed a lingering kiss on the inside of her wrist.

  She sighed her approval. She felt his fingers on her neck and chin, and her heart stopped beating as his breath warmed her cheek.

  “Elizabeth,” he whispered, “I . . . ”

  He could say no more.

  Their lips met in a gentle caress, and as she closed her eyes, her heart went out to him, and she knew from that moment she would be bound to him forever.

  Silently, Darcy took Elizabeth’s hand and helped her to her feet. By unspoken agreement, they turned and began a slow walk to the house. He offered her his arm and she took it, nestling close to him.

  Her silence as they walked together spoke of the depth of her feelings for him. She had opened her heart, nay, her whole soul to him, and she now looked to him as the protector of all that was good in her. The gift of her love came with a heart unsullied by previous attachment. He was the only one she had ever loved, and there would never be another. She received his love
purely and innocently, understanding no other way for love to be offered. No regret furrowed her brow. No mistrust dimmed her mind. All that she had and all that she was belonged to him

  * * * * *

  ANNE HAD NOT RETURNED UPSTAIRS as Mr. Darcy had requested, but was waiting for them in the entryway. She joined them as Darcy escorted Elizabeth back to her room. He opened the door, and Elizabeth stepped into her bedchamber.

  Meeting Elizabeth’s eyes with a look that spoke of love and yearning, he closed the distance between them. She took his hand and placed the ribbon in it. Without taking his eyes off her, he kissed the ribbon and put it in his pocket near his heart. He took her outstretched hand, and kissed her fingers, lingering over her hand for just a moment, and then without a word, turned and left the room.

  * * * * *

  OH, HOW HE LOVED HER! Oh, how he wanted her!

  Darcy’s mind was in a state of confusion as he stumbled down the hall and into his room. He collapsed into a chair and experienced all the guilt and self-reproach that had been building inside him since he met Elizabeth by the stream. Kissing her was a liberty he should not have taken, for it violated every sense of honor he held dear.

  Echoing in his ears was the sound of his father’s voice pronouncing her unsuitability. He would never forget his last conversation with him.

  Darcy had been attending his uncle at Matlock when he received word that his father had summoned him home. It was very unlike his father to request anything, so it was with a great deal of concern that he left Matlock for Pemberley. It was a trip of only one day, and he arrived in good time. He went immediately to the study where his father was usually to be found.

  The study was empty, but Mrs. Reynolds had learned of his arrival.

  “Master Fitzwilliam! Welcome home, sir. It is a pleasure to see you.”

  “Yes, thank you. I was summoned by my father, but he is not here, he — ”

  “Forgive me. Your father is in his bedchamber.”

  “His bedchamber?”

  “He was very ill. We were all very worried about him.”

  “Is that why he called me home?”

  “Yes. Go to him directly.”

  Darcy hurried to his father’s room. He paused for a moment to catch his breath, and then knocked on the door.

  His father responded. “Come in, Mrs. Reynolds.”

  Darcy opened the door to find his father in bed, looking frail against a background of pillows and blankets.

  “It is I, Father! I came as soon as —”

  “Fitzwilliam!” said the elder Darcy as he recognized his mistake. “It is a pleasure to see you, my son. Thank you for coming.”

  “What is the matter? Why do you take to your bed?”

  “I wanted to see you; that is all.”

  Darcy was not convinced. His father had spent a lifetime avoiding him.

  “What is the reason for my summons?”

  “I was quite ill when I sent for you. I was certain I was going to die. I wanted to speak with you.”

  “Father?”

  “I feel much better now. So much so, that I am planning to leave my room tomorrow. You have traveled a long way, and I have interrupted your pleasures. You deserve to know.

  “To know what?” Darcy took a chair and seated himself near the bed.

  “It had been my intention to tell you about my will, to reveal to you where your mother’s jewels are stored for safekeeping, and to pass along words of advice to help you as you faced the prospect of being the master of Pemberley.”

  “There is no reason for this, Father. I am certain —”

  “Please, let me speak. I will be brief. In my will, I have left the entirety of the Pemberley estate and all that I am possessed of to you. Georgiana will have her mother’s jewels and a dowry of thirty thousand pounds. I know it is customary for tokens of thanks to be extended to faithful servants and tenants, but not knowing beforehand who would be worthy of such consideration, I leave it to you to make whatever gifts you feel are appropriate.

  “The desk in the study is ponderous and heavy, but if you will slide it forward, you will find that it rests on a loose floorboard. Beneath this board is a strongbox containing your mother’s jewels. I believe that Georgiana is too young to be responsible for her mother’s legacy. Perhaps you will give them to her someday in the future when she is settled.

  “I have an able steward, Fitzwilliam, who has promised me like service to you as I have received from him, and Mrs. Reynolds, dear soul, is quite capable of managing the household. But remember, Fitzwilliam, Pemberley will never be complete until it possesses a mistress. Have you considered the matter of marriage?”

  “I enjoy the company of young women, but I have never met anyone with whom I would wish to spend my life.”

  “My son, you must choose wisely. The woman you marry will determine the measure of happiness or despair that you will experience in this life. It is difficult to know matters of the heart beforehand. My only advice is this: Marry your equal. Wed yourself to a woman of beauty, rank, and fortune. She must be possessed of a worthy family whose society will be advantageous to you and by whose interest your fortune and influence will be promoted. Do not be carried away by the violence of emotions that some would call love. Attach yourself to a woman who will not disappoint and with whom you can be seen with pride on all occasions. Do not let passion interfere with your future.

  “Georgiana’s prospects for an equal alliance will be endangered if you do not choose such a woman. What man would attach himself to a family where vulgarity reigns? Remember Georgiana!” The old man paused for a moment. “But you will remember her. You have always loved her, even when I . . . I am satisfied. She will be well cared for under your protection.”

  Darcy’s father kept his promise and left his bedchamber the next day. He and his son were always together during the days that followed, and for the first time in his life, young Darcy knew what it was to have a father. Longing to be loved by him, he promised himself that he would never do anything of which his father might not approve.

  Within a short time, the elder Mr. Darcy was fully recovered and persuaded Darcy to return to Matlock. Sadly, two weeks later, Darcy received his father’s final summons to Pemberley.

  * * * * *

  DARCY’S FATHER HAD TOLD HIM that if he married below his station, he would soon lose respect for his wife and be unable to bear her society. He would then fall victim to the vices of the world as he tried to comfort himself from the knowledge that his domestic happiness had been overthrown. The question of an heir had to be addressed as well. How could a woman of inferior birth produce an heir worthy of the honor and prestige of Pemberley? Elizabeth’s mother was vulgar, and the family was perpetually scandalized by the behavior of the two youngest Bennet sisters.

  The elder Mr. Darcy had said that he need look no farther than his own family for proof. His cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam’s elder brother, the viscount, had married beneath him, shunning women of rank and nobility to attach himself to the daughter of a tradesman. He claimed that he loved her, and she him, but it had ended in misery. Without mutual respect or lasting affection, they were two strangers living in the same home. He was unwilling to move in her circles, and she was unable to move in his. After the ardor of first love passed, they were left without common interests or respect for each other. Their unhappiness was common knowledge, as was the fact that the viscount kept a mistress. Darcy did not want that for himself, and he certainly did not want that for Elizabeth. He would not allow her to be hurt.

  Darcy had been motivated by a desire stronger than duty and obligation when he kissed her. The love he felt for Elizabeth had driven reason away. The anguish he felt in knowing that he could never have her exceeded that which he felt at the time of his father’s death.

  One doubt in particular plagued Darcy’s mind. Did not these words of caution come from a father who had left his children alone for months on end, year after year, since the death of t
heir mother?

  Darcy’s heart ached for Elizabeth. In her, he knew he would find love and acceptance, but the gulf between them was unsurpassable. Feeling that he had never been acceptable to his father, he suffered under the belief that he could not disappoint him any further, and a marriage to Elizabeth would be just such a disappointment. His father never would have approved of her. He would not involve Elizabeth in endless ruin.

  He knew his resolve weakened when in Elizabeth’s presence and that he had no strength to resist the love she offered him. With that kiss, Elizabeth had shown that she was ready to pledge herself to him. For her sake, he could not remain at Netherfield. He must leave her, and do so without seeing her again. He would not become the man Elizabeth’s sister accused him of being. He would not trifle with Elizabeth.

  She would not understand, of course. The love she had for him was all too apparent, but a short period of pain was far preferable to a lifetime of heartache. Resolved to his decision, though agonized by it, he summoned his valet and told him they would be leaving for London early the next morning.

  * * * * *

  ELIZABETH REJOICED IN THE PASSION and tenderness of Mr. Darcy’s kiss. This was an intimacy she had never known. The desire she felt for him nearly overwhelmed her, and she basked in the memory of the delight she felt when his lips touched hers. She would willingly proclaim to the world that she loved him. Never had she imagined that such feelings were possible.

  Elizabeth knew that she would not see Darcy again until the next day, but she was content. He loved her, and that was all she cared about.

  Chapter 7

  DARCY WAS IN AGONY THE next morning. He had slept very ill, having been awakened repeatedly throughout the night by vicious dreams. The most distressing, and most often repeated, was the one in which he experienced all the joy of marrying Elizabeth, but when he turned to kiss her after the ceremony, she was in tears, accusing him of betraying her. These visions were intermingled with lectures from his father on the expectations he had for young Fitzwilliam when it came to matters of marriage. “Do not settle for an unequal alliance.” Those words echoed in his mind.