PART TWO
Chapter 22
Eden
This year was going to be different. Last year, at the beginning of my sophomore year, I was focused on myself. Eden needed a boyfriend. Eden needed Marshall. Eden needed Dylan. Eden. Eden. Eden.
Not anymore. This time, it was going to be about Allie. It was Connor’s senior year. Allie and I were going to be juniors. This was Allie’s last chance to prove to Connor she was the girl for him. Goodness, anyone would be better than that wench he was dating now. Connor had had a bevy of girlfriends over the years, but Kayla was the worst. And what I hated the most- the way she made Allie feel.
Of course, Connor was oblivious. He never noticed the little ways Kayla belittled Allie. The ways she made Allie feel insecure in her friendship with Connor. If Connor did know, he would have dropped her like the super bitch she was. But Connor had no idea. The idiot. It was time to take matters into my own hands.
To do that, I needed a plan. And we all know every good plan needs an outline. Pulling out a brand new pink spiral notebook, I thought about my idea to makeover my best friend. I’d learned a lot at the salon about style. Let me tell you, spending all your spare time with a room full of women was enlightening.
Salons are like this magical place where all your dreams come true. Flaws are made manageable. Frizzy hair? Child’s play. Broken, uneven nails. No problem. Uni-brow? Wax. But it wasn’t just physical treatments the ladies at the salon offered. No. They were, all of them, the most brilliant uncertified psychoanalysts around. They had the answers to it all.
Cheating husband? Drop his butt as fast as you can but not before putting a laxative in his breakfast.
Intrusive mother? Give her a grandchild. And maybe a spa day.
Troubles at work with the boss? Who needs it- start out on your own business.
Dumb older guy who gave up on you before you even had a chance? Forget him, there are plenty more fish in the sea.
Needless to say, I’d learned a lot working at the salon and I don’t just mean hair and nails.
How was that going to help with Allie? Well, first of all, the girl needed some clothes. Style was the last thing Allie possessed in her arsenal and I needed to pull out the big guns. This was why I needed an outline.
Blocking the letters in black magic marker, I wrote OPERATION FIND ALLIE A DATE. I knew the number one on the outline was going to be ‘make Connor jealous’ but if Allie saw that, she’d balk immediately. So, I put ‘hair and makeup’ in the first spot, instead. Next, ‘wardrobe’. I made a list of all the ways I could help Allie be as beautiful on the outside as she was on the inside but then on the next page, I listed all the behind-the-scenes sneaky actions that would be necessary to accomplish my goal.
Allie didn’t need just any date, she needed Connor. And she didn't’ need a date with Connor, she needed forever with Connor. Mark my words, once I was done with this girl- ha, once I was done with Connor- we were talking wedding bells in our future and I was making a bid for maid of honor.
The first day of school was like many other first days. New classes. New lockers. But other than that, it was all the same story. The best part of this new school year was that Marshall Simpkins graduated, although from what I heard, just barely. Whatever. I was just glad I wouldn’t have to see his face around anymore.
As much as I didn’t want to admit it. It still bothered me. Maybe I’ve let it fester and there was no denying I’d become a bit of a man-hater. I’d done my best to hide my feelings from my best friend, but it was no good. She knew me better than just about anyone. She knew there was something off about me. She just didn’t know what. The good news? She loved me enough to just be there and not pry.
Down the hall, Connor swaggered across the shiny tiled floor surrounded by no less than fifteen girls. JJ was there, too and some of the other guys on the football team, but they weren’t the ones breaking Allie’s heart. Something had to be done.
We watched as Connor made his way toward us. Allie’s breath caught as he made eye contact with her. It was both sweet and pathetic. I shook my head. I didn’t think she even knew I was there.
“Hey, Allie,” he greeted, that special smile on his face he reserved just for her.
Allie struggled to remain calm. “Oh. Hey, Connor.”
Allie wasn’t usually nervous around Connor. They spent too much time together for that. It was the girls around him that made her uncomfortable, especially Kayla, the girl in Allie’s rightful spot.
“I don’t know how you can stand it,” I said, disgusted by the display of adulation. Those girls made me feel sick. They reminded me of how wrong I’d been last year. Worried about boys and feeling like I needed a guy to feel good about myself. First Marshall, then Dylan.
No.
I wouldn’t think about him.
Thoughts of him hurt more than memories of Marshall.
“What are you talking about,” Allie asked with a defeated sigh as we made our way to first period physics.
“Kayla! That’s what I’m talking about. How can you just stand by and let her hang all over your man like that?” That’s what Allie needed. She needed to think of Connor as hers and hers alone. Confidence like that would be irresistible to a guy like Connor.
“We’ve been over this a thousand times, Eden, Connor is not my man. We are just friends. He’s with Kayla.”
She recited the facts with such defeat I wanted to smack her. “Well, he could be yours if you would just man up and make a move on him.” I was dying for the day when Allie came to school, smiling like the cat that ate the canary, telling me she’d done it. That she just leaned forward one day while they played video games in her room- and kissed him. That’s all it would take, and that man would be hers.
“Eden!”
“I’m serious.” I decide to put the bug in her ear. Get her thinking about it. “One of these days while you’re in your room shooting zombies in the dumb video game you’re always playing, just lean in and lay one on him.” Just. Like. That. “Mu-wah!”
“And send him screaming from my room and my life? Not going to happen. Friends is better than nothing.”
Her words caused a pain to bloom in my chest. Like someone stabbed me straight in the heart with a blunt knife. Because she was right, friends was better than nothing. I knew from experience.
“If you say so. I just don’t understand how you can spend hour after hour every Saturday afternoon with Mr. Hottie McHotness and not just tell him how you feel.”
“If declarations of love are so easy, why haven’t you made one yourself,” Allie asked. We were still on our way to physics and there at our 2 o’clock was Micah Porter. Hmm-mmm. If there was one guy at this school that could weaken my resolve to give up guys forever- it was Micah.
“I’ve told you, I’m going to be a nun.” But that didn’t mean I couldn’t look, right? And Micah was fine. I followed him with my eyes as we passed.
“You sound convincing, but the drool dripping down your chin gives you away,” Allie said, her tone dry.
I stuck out my tongue. “I can’t help my biological response to a beautiful man.” It was true, but no matter how gorgeous Micah was, I couldn’t forget another guy. Dylan haunted my dreams both waking and asleep.
Allie made some comment about how perfect Micah would be for me and how hot he was.
“He really is.” We’d made it to our first period class and I plopped into my seat, wishing I could convince my traitorous heart to fall for someone realistic. Micah would be a perfect option. I’d met a few guys over the summer, even went on a few dates. Judy’s grandson, Dillon, went to another school and we’d become great friends. He wanted more, but I refused to lead him on. And that’s why I told Allie, “It doesn’t matter. You know I’ve sworn off guys.”
Mr. Richardson, our physics teacher, walked in shortly after that. I tried to focus on his voice that droned like white noise, but it was impossible. Like always, my thoughts were in one place and on
e place only, with Dylan.
Chapter 23
Eden
My plan worked like a charm. A little hair and makeup, plus one cute outfit and my girl Allie’s got herself a date. Of course, not with Connor, but Jamie Barnes was stinking adorable and the perfect guy to make Connor jealous.
Allie’s date was that night and I had my work cut out for me. So, I packed up my make-Allie-cute kit and headed to her house.
It took some convincing.
“Please tell me you’re joking,” Allie groaned, throwing an arm across her eyes where she lay on the bed.
“I am so not joking. No way is my best friend going on a date without the whole package,” I replied glaring at her t-shirt and jeans.
“I like t-shirts and jeans,” Allie defended, reading my mind.
I marched to her closet and yanked the items hanging inside across the metal rod. T-shirt after t-shirt. Not even cute t-shirts. Most of them were athletic shirts given to the team for spirit days. Except. I reached for one of the shirts at the back. It was noticeably larger than the rest, hanging six inches lower on its hanger. I held it up for her to see, one brow cocked questioningly.
Allie blushed. “I stole it from Connor. I sleep in them sometimes.”
I glanced at the shirt again, surprised. Who knew Allie had it in her? “Really? Can I have one,” I teased with a wink. I knew she’d never give me one. And I didn’t blame her. I still wore the same thing to bed every night. The same thing I’d been wearing every night for the last year and a half. I saved the hoodie for special occasions, when I missed him so much wearing it was the only way to ease the pain.
A couple of hours later, Allie’s gorgeous self was decorated as she should always be, and we made our way downstairs to show her mom the results. I couldn’t have planned it better myself. Of all things, Connor was downstairs when Allie and I emerged from her room. She was all dolled up in a sweet little sundress, her hair and makeup done to perfection. The look on Connor’s face was priceless, but nothing compared to his expression when Jamie arrived to pick up Allie. I wished I’d had a camera. Yep. Connor was sure to come around soon enough.
I was right, of course. Allie and Connor finally got together. It was a thing of beauty watching things work out for my best friend. As for me, I felt happy for the role, however small, I’d played in getting those two love birds to admit their feelings for each other.
Allie never did figure out why I stopped going to football games or going to school dances. She stopped asking after a while and I never felt like I was missing out on much. I worked at the salon all our junior year and into our senior year. Of course, Allie and Connor were rocking the long-distance thing. Connor drove the forty minutes from State whenever he could to visit Allie and he made sure he was around to be her date for Homecoming and Winter Formal.
That night in my backyard was the last time I’d seen Dylan in over two years. I heard tidbits here and there about his life in the Army. After basic training, he went to Washington to Joint Base Lewis-McChord and he’s been stationed there ever since. I knew he’d done one tour in Afghanistan. I was sure to keep my ears open for news from his mom while he was over there. I worried about him constantly and was tempted more times than I could say to send him an email or text. But I didn’t. He’d been clear when he never responded to my letters that he was done being my friend, or whatever we were.
I admit that it hurt. We’d been friends for years and then to be completely cut off from Dylan, especially after the time we’d spent together my sophomore year, well, it was awful. I spent a lot of time hating Dylan and loving him at the same time. And then just hating him for a long time. And then, when the dust settled in my tumultuous heart, I realized I would probably always love him.
I kept hoping I would meet someone who would make me forget or at least distract me for a time. But that never happened. So, I stuck to my decision to remain single during high school, to avoid relationships. I dated. I went out. I had fun with friends. But I was always sure it was understood with anyone I went out with, that we were just friends and I wasn’t at all interested in anything more. It was hard and yet it wasn’t. There were lonely times.
And sometimes, I missed Dylan with a vengeance. Others, I hated him with a vengeance. And then there were the times I just wanted him to sit beside me and steal my can of Pringles and let me admire his gorgeous eyelashes.
It was dumb. I was dumb. There was some part of me that understood why he’d done what he did. I mean, he was embarking on a whole new life away from our hometown- away from me. Our age difference at that time was a major obstacle. He didn’t want me to hold him back. I got it. I really did. But that didn’t mean I didn’t remember what it was like to hang out with him. To be held by him. To be kissed.
Senior year went by in a blur. Allie planned to follow Connor to State to get her Athletic Training degree. I would be attending a cosmetology school in the next town over while living at home. Josh had one more year of his undergrad to finish before heading to law school. He was dating this amazing girl named Lisa. I kept thinking he was going to propose, but Christmas came and went and Valentine’s Day. If I was Lisa, I’d be giving that boy an ultimatum.
“You have to go to senior prom, Eden.” Allie’s proclamation drew me from my musings. We were at the mall. Allie still needed help- and more than a little convincing- from her personal fashion consultant- me.
“I’m not going to prom, Allie.” I shook my head and added another dress to the growing pile on my arm.
“Ooh, I like that pink one.” Allie pointed to the dress I currently had in my hand. I removed it from the rack and held it up in front of her.
“No. Not for me, for you,” she said, her eyes wide as she shook her head and pushed my hand back.
“I’m. Not. Going.” Allie had been on this kick for weeks. I’d tried all I could think of to get her off my case. I hadn’t been to a school dance since Homecoming our junior year and the only reason I’d gone to that one was because of Allie. It had been worth it because that was the night Connor and Allie solidified their relationship.
Allie’s determined expression softened into one of deep sadness.
“Are you ever gonna tell me what happened,” she sighed, sinking onto a bench near the fitting rooms.
With a feeling of dread, I sat down beside her. I hadn’t talked to anyone about Marshall or Dylan or any of the reasons why I’d decided not to pursue a relationship in high school. And especially not that I still longed for Dylan.
“Come on, Eden. Don’t you trust me?” Allie stared at her hands in her lap. “You’ve been there for me through everything. Why can’t you let me be there for you?” Unshed tears glistened in her eyes when she finally lifted them to meet mine.
“I’m sorry, Al.” I never thought hiding my pain might have caused pain for anyone else. And never Allie. She has been my best friend for years and I loved her like she was my sister.
“I’m not mad at you. I just don’t understand-”
“I’ll tell you. All of it.”
And that’s what I did. For the next twenty minutes, I spilled my guts. I told Allie every detail of those first weeks of sophomore year. I told her about Marshall and how I’d been so wrong about him. About myself. I told her how Dylan had been there for me and how our friendship had blossomed into something more. I relived the kisses we’d shared in my backyard, but only briefly mentioned them to Allie. (She didn’t need to know everything.) I explained how we’d exchanged letters while he was in basic and ended with his final letter. The one where he ended it all.
“So, you never heard from him again,” Allie asked with disbelief, collapsing against the back of the bench. “How is that possible? He’s Josh’s best friend.”
Leave it to Allie to focus on the Dylan aspect and not Marshall. Bless her heart. “Of course, I’ve heard about him, just not from him. His parents live across the street for heaven’s sake.”
Allie’s eyes widened at the reminder
. “He hasn’t been home in almost three years?”
That was the crazy part. “Okay, so check this out.” I turned to sit sideways on the bench, so I could see her better. Allie watched me like I was the next Real Housewife. “After basic, Dylan’s family drove to Fort Benning for his graduation. They vacationed in Florida for a week and then flew back home. Dylan was home less than twelve hours. He had two weeks to get to Washington, so he got on the road and drove by himself the whole way. And then, he was in Washington.” It wasn’t like I was going to see much of him when he was ten states away or however many there were.
“So, what? He never gets any leave?” Allie’s brows furrowed at the thought.
“No, he does. Like a lot, too.” I’d looked it up one time. It was like twenty-eight days a year or something like that. “And he has been home. He came home for one of Reed’s games about a year ago.” Reed was some kind of soccer prodigy. Our school didn’t have a soccer team, so he played for a league. They travelled all over the state to play and even though Reed was a sophomore, he already had college teams looking at him.
Allie frowned. “And you never saw him?”
No. “That was the same weekend Josh invited me to Syracuse to meet Lisa.” Or at least that’s what he said. I didn’t think anything of it until I heard Dylan had been home in my absence. It was then I realized things were truly over between us. If Dylan was so determined to not see me that he would somehow orchestrate my being out of town when he came home? Well, what else could I believe?
Allie sat silent for a moment, deep in thought. “Do you think Dylan had anything to do with that?” She lifted a brow. “That seems pretty extreme.”
“I know, right. But what else am I supposed to believe?” I slumped back against the hard arm of the wooden bench. “I guess he was home last Christmas, but we went skiing, remember?” I’d been surprised when I heard from Dylan’s mom that he had been home. Both times, actually. Of course, she’d been just busting with pride, had shown me several pictures on her phone. He looked different, older. His eyes held tales of adventures he’d been on that I knew nothing of.
The Perks of Hating You ( Perks Book 2) Page 13
