Tracie Peterson - [Desert Roses 01]

by Shadows of the Canyon

  “I wasn’t protecting her,” her mother replied. “I was protecting him. He didn’t deserve to end up orphaned.”

  “But what of his mother?” Alex said, gently stroking the baby’s dark hair. “You said his mother ran for the hotel. What happened?”

  “After everyone learned Rufus had died, I figured I’d heard the last of Gloria Scott. I knew I couldn’t prove what had happened and I honestly thought that if it kept mother and child together, it would be better for me to be blamed for Rufus’s death. I prayed about the matter and decided it would be best to keep my mouth shut. No one knew about Gloria except me. I mean, I figured someone on the train might have remembered her, but I had no idea where she was staying, and it would have been very difficult to prove what had happened.”

  “But it was an accident,” Alex said, realizing for the first time that her father hadn’t been murdered at all. “The poor woman was simply defending herself.”

  “Yes, but no one but me knew that, and Gloria had disappeared. She wasn’t registered at El Tovar, and I had no way of locating her without exposing her part in the matter.”

  Luke shifted beside Alex and asked, “So what happened?”

  “Alex arranged for me to be moved, as you know. I felt better knowing the reporters wouldn’t be hounding me and trying to break down my door to get answers. I also felt that the privacy would allow me a chance to actually find Gloria. I wasn’t sure how, but I knew my guard would have to sleep sometime. But instead, Gloria left a note and the baby at the front desk. The note only said that this child should be delivered to me and that I would know what to do. The people there knew the rangers had me under their protection, so they delivered the baby to the rangers and they in turn brought the baby to me. What no one knew, until I’d taken the baby out of the basket, was that there was another letter under the baby’s blanket.”

  “What did it say?” Alex asked anxiously. “Gloria told me she couldn’t live with the guilt of what she’d done. She knew she was responsible for Rufus’s death and figured no one would believe it was an accident. She feared for the child and begged me to make a home for him so that he wouldn’t end up in an asylum somewhere. She concluded the letter by stating that she planned to end her life. She gave directions as to where the rangers could find her, and sure enough, she had committed suicide.”

  “Oh, how awful.” Alex continued to stroke the baby’s head, saddened to think of his mother deserting him at such a tender age. “And now he’s orphaned.”

  “He doesn’t have to be.”

  Alex looked to her mother. “What do you mean?” “I mean you could raise him. It’s obvious you have a way with him.”

  “But, I know nothing of raising a child. I’m not even married.” She looked to Luke as if he could verify that one detail.

  He smiled and reached down to touch her hand where it rested on the baby’s head. “You could give me an answer to my question and sew things up rather neatly.”

  Alex felt overwhelmed by the moment. She knew she loved him. Knew that she didn’t want to lose him. So why couldn’t she give him the answer he wanted to hear?

  She got to her feet and handed him the baby. “I need to think and to pray. I need time to sort this out.”

  Luke said nothing as Alex walked from the room. He looked down at the sleeping baby and then to Katherine Keegan.

  “She’ll do the right thing,” Katherine said softly. “Not only by him, but by you as well. She loves you, of that I’m certain.”

  “I know it too,” Luke admitted, “but she’s scared.” “Of what?” Katherine asked, seeming surprised by his statement.

  “She’s afraid all men are like her father and his friends. She’s afraid that fidelity isn’t a possibility for any man. She’s afraid to love and afraid to trust. And until she can come to terms with that, I know she can’t marry me.”

  Katherine nodded. “Rufus hurt her badly. While other little girls had fathers to be proud of, Alex hid her parentage at every turn.”

  Luke took the seat Alex had just vacated and eased the baby onto his shoulder. Brock didn’t so much as stir. “He’s so tiny,” Luke commented.

  “Yes. He’s only a few weeks old. Far too young to be without a mother and father.”

  Luke nodded. “I’m buying a ranch in Wyoming. It’s a small place, but large enough for all of us. If Alex will marry me, I’d like you to consider coming with us.”

  “I appreciate that, Luke. You’ve been more than kind to me. I’ve always been reassured to know you were there for Alex. I know at first it was only in friendship, but I think that’s what will make your marriage work. You were friends before the idea of falling in love ever came to either one of you. Maybe then, if the feelings fade, you’ll still be friends and still have a foundation for your marriage to grow on.”

  “I’ll never stop loving her,” he said softly. “Even if she says no to my proposal. I’ll never love anyone but Alex.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  Valerie Winthrop looked to her father in complete dismay. “But, Daddy, everyone knows this affair was all Joel’s fault. No one blames you. Why are you withdrawing from the campaign?”

  The senator, looking older than his years, cast a sorrowful gaze upon his daughter. “I can hardly ask the country to allow me to keep their affairs when I can’t keep my own in order.”

  “But Joel was underhanded and conniving,” she protested. “He never let any of us know what was going on until it was too late. Why, I didn’t even know about some of it until just a week or so ago.”

  “Exactly my point, Valerie. I had no idea what was going on under my own nose. I should have seen it. I shouldn’t have had my sights so fixed on the presidency that I missed what was happening right in my own office—my own house. I will always blame myself for how Joel treated you. I can overlook his greed and ambition, but I will never forgive him for hurting you.”

  Valerie reached out and touched her father’s hand. “There is no merit in holding anger toward him. Mrs. Keegan told me that such things will only fester and allow for a hard and embittered heart. And she should know, given what she had to endure with Mr. Keegan.”

  “She’s a lovely woman, gracious and soft-spoken. Just like your mother.”

  Valerie nodded. “She reminded me very much of Mother when she comforted me. I think her advice is most beneficial. She speaks as one who knows, and that will help others to listen and heed her word.”

  He looked to her and Valerie could see the tears form in his eyes. “I’ve been very wrong to subject you to all of this. Will you forgive a silly old man his ambitions?”

  “Oh, Daddy, you didn’t hurt me. I wanted you to run for president. I thought it would be marvelously exciting to play hostess in the White House.”

  “That will never happen now. The papers are running rampant with the scandal. Even Jastrow is backing out of the race. No doubt we’ll be left with that rascal John Davis for a Democratic contender.” He paused and shook his head. “No, by the time this scandal subsides, it will be too late for me to consider running for anything, much less president.”

  Valerie picked up her fork and toyed with her breakfast. “Perhaps you could write a book about all of this. Since scandal sells so well, maybe you should share with the public how you were a victim to Joel Harper, just as much as the next man. I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t have publishers clamoring to print it.”

  “It’s a thought, I suppose,” her father said, picking up his cup of coffee.

  They were alone in the private dining room, tolerant only of each other’s company. The press had hounded her father morning and night for exclusive interviews and always the senator declined. Valerie saw the toll it had taken on him, and she was secretly glad he’d decided to call off the campaign plans. He needed to rest. He needed to know she was well and safe and that Joel hadn’t harmed her beyond her ability to recover.

  “I know it would go over big. Why, we could even contact this on
e publisher in New York. I’m friends with the owner’s daughter. I would be willing to wager money they would come all the way to South Carolina to talk it over with you.”

  The senator took a long drink and seemed to perk up a bit. “There are a lot of details that could benefit those in the business of politics.”

  She smiled. “Of course. There are businessmen who would most likely benefit as well. Then, if told in the right manner, you might even attract quite a few women readers.”

  “I could start with my early days in business and move into the political arena,” he said, nodding. He looked to her and smiled. “You’re good medicine for this old heart. Just like your mother used to be. I miss her a lot, you know.”

  “Yes,” Valerie said, reaching out to cover her father’s hand. “I miss her too. She made us both feel very loved.”

  “Indeed,” he replied with a sigh.

  Valerie gave his hand a squeeze and then picked up her fork again. With a forkful of eggs halfway to her mouth she said, “I would want to help you with the book, but there is something else I’d like to help with first. Maybe you’d like to be involved as well. It’s a very good cause.”

  Her father seemed surprised. “Do tell. What has caught your attention this time?”

  “Mother, I really need to talk to you,” Alex said as her mother cuddled Brock and talked to him in animated tones.

  “You know you can discuss anything with me.” She looked up to meet Alex’s gaze.

  “You’re so kind to him,” Alex said, motioning to the baby. “How can you abide him? I mean, surely he reminds you of your bad times with Father.”

  Katherine looked taken aback. “Well, it’s hardly his fault that his parents had no concern for their actions. This baby is innocent. Completely and totally innocent. He must be allowed a fresh start.”

  “I agree. I’m just not sure that start should begin with us.” “But why?”

  Alex sat down on the foot of the bed. “It’s just that I wouldn’t want this baby to be a reminder of all you suffered, a living memory of the things that happened the night Father died.”

  “Alex, you’re worrying for nothing. I look forward to grandmothering this infant. I don’t have the stamina to raise him, but you do. You would make a good mother for this child. He’s flesh of your flesh. He’s your father’s son. We can’t let him go to strangers. Could you really abide that? Knowing that your little brother was out there somewhere with someone not of your choosing to raise him?”

  “No, absolutely not!” Alex declared, feeling a fierce protective nature toward the baby. “But you are uppermost in my thoughts. I’d hate to see you hurt again. We’ll be burying Father in four days’ time. I’d like to be able to bury the pain of his actions as well.”

  “This baby will always be with us,” Katherine stated matter-of-factly. “You can’t bury everything about your father’s indiscretions. But God can make smooth the rough places. He can bring sunlight to the shadows and change night into day. A God who can do all of that can surely heal the hearts of two women.”

  Alex smiled. “Luke once accused me of thinking God couldn’t handle everything. That some things were just too big.”

  “And was he right? Did you feel that way?” her mother asked softly.

  Alex chewed on her lip for a moment before responding. The way she’d felt only weeks ago seemed so very different than the way she felt now. “I suppose I did in some ways,” she finally said. “I didn’t mean it in the literal sense, because I know nothing is too big for God. But it seemed too big.”

  “And now?” “Now I feel confused by the sudden change of many of my feelings.”

  Her mother smiled and gently laid the baby on the bed. “Luke?”

  “For one,” Alex admitted. “I love him.” “Yes, I know.” “And he loves me.” “Again, this is not news to me.” Her mother reached across the baby to touch Alex’s knee. “What are you going to do about it?”

  “He wants an answer to his proposal of marriage. He’s bought a ranch in Wyoming and would have us live there with him. All of us. Me, the baby, and you.”

  “He said as much.”

  Surprised, Alex rose from the bed. “When? When did he tell you about this?”

  “Yesterday, after you left to go think and pray.”

  Alex paced the floor at the end of the bed. “Mother, it’s so hard to know what’s right. My heart tells me one thing, but my mind . . .”

  “Reminds you of the past and of the bad things done to you,” her mother interjected.

  “Yes. Yes, the past is haunting me. I couldn’t face Luke if he took lovers as Father did.”

  “He won’t.”

  Her mother’s voice held such certainty, but still Alex wasn’t convinced. “He’s just a man, Mother. He’s flesh and blood. He’ll be tempted.”

  “Maybe tempted, but he won’t cheat on you as Rufus did with me. I feel confident of that.”

  Alex shook her head and stopped directly in front of her mother. She wanted to believe her words, but fear bound her in a way that nearly choked all hope from her. “How can you be so sure? What guarantee can you offer me?”

  “Alexandria Keegan, you know full well that life comes without guarantees. However, you also know that God has promised to be with us through the thick and thin of it. How can you doubt that He would protect you and help keep Luke faithful?”

  “But God didn’t keep Father faithful.” “Your father didn’t desire to be faithful. Not to me, nor to God. Your father had his own plan and always at the center of it was Rufus Keegan. Luke loves God.”

  “I know he loves God, Mama,” Alex said, falling to her knees in front of her mother. “But he’s only human.”

  “As are you. What makes you so sure you won’t be tempted to cheat on Luke? After all, you’ll be stuck out in the middle of nowhere on a ranch without too many other people around. Those who are around will most likely be men—ranch hands.”

  “That’s silly. I could never look at another man as I do . . . Luke.”

  Realization began to sink in. Why should the same not be true for Luke? Why couldn’t he be just as faithful as she? Why couldn’t Alex trust that he would push aside any seemingly tempting moments in favor of his love for Alex?

  “I’m being really ignorant, aren’t I?” she asked her mother. Katherine reached out and gently stroked her daughter’s wavy brown hair. “It’s the first time you’ve been in love. You’re entitled to not have all the answers.”

  “I really do love him. When I wake up in the morning, he’s the first person I think of. When I go to sleep at night, I always do so with something he said on my mind. He makes me laugh—he makes me feel safe and protected.”

  “And he loves God,” her mother added. “What more could you possibly want?”

  Alex shook her head. “Nothing. He’s everything.” “So what are you going to tell him?”

  Alex smiled. “I think you already know the answer to that. But what about you? Will you come live with us?”

  Katherine looked to the baby and shook her head. “No. I have plans.”

  Alex pulled back. “Plans? What plans?” “I want to sell the house in Williams and dissolve all of your father’s business dealings. When this is completed, I want to move to a larger city—I’m not sure exactly which one. Maybe Denver, so that I could be close to you.”

  “What would you do there?” Alex got to her feet and pulled a chair up close to her mother’s bedside. Sitting down, she waited for her mother to explain, seeing a light in her eyes that she’d not seen before.

  “I want to buy a big house with lots of rooms. I want to open a home to women who have suffered as I have—as Valerie has.”

  “Valerie Winthrop?” Alex still prickled at the name. “I’m still working on my feelings toward her. She was always flirting with Luke and lying to me.”

  “Don’t blame her, darling. She has suffered unimaginable horrors in her life. You two have more in common than you wou
ld imagine. While her father thought she hung the moon and stars, he was always busy. Too busy to guide her actions. She was spoiled and encouraged to be flirtatious and do whatever she had to in order to get the attention she wanted.”

  “But at least her father loved her.” “Yes, but an absent father is still an absent father, and a child growing up without the loving guidance of such a parent will still suffer. Just as you did, but for entirely different reasons.”

  Alex felt overwhelmed with guilt. “I’m sorry I’ve judged her harshly.”

  “I hope you will put the past aside,” her mother said gently. “Valerie decided to trust the Lord and follow His will—just last night. She and I had a long talk.”

  “Really? Well, that is good news,” Alex said, not exactly sure how to deal with the issue. It was hard to just automatically switch from feeling a measure of contempt to joy, yet this new information really did change everything. Oh, God, forgive me for my hardheartedness. I thank you that Valerie Winthrop came to you. I’m glad you’re there for each and every person, not just the ones I think deserve your mercy. She felt deeply ashamed of her attitude. “Oh, Mother, I have so much to learn—so far to go.”

  “But we all do. As long as we’re still here walking this earth, there are things the good Lord is teaching us—showing us—bringing us through. Valerie is no different. She just needed help to see the way.”

  Alex felt tears come to her eyes. She sniffed and nodded. “I’m so glad you were there for her. I’ll make a special point to offer her my apology and my congratulations.”

  “You’ll have ample opportunity. You see, Valerie wants to help me with my idea for the home to help needy women.”

  Alex was truly surprised by this. The Valerie Winthrop she knew was self-centered and . . . I’m doing it again, she thought. I’m judging her by her old nature, not the new creation she is in Christ. Meekly Alex questioned, “She does?”