A Whiskey Sour Wipeout

by Constance Barker

  She checked his breathing, and there was none. She tried to find a pulse, again nothing. She started to cry as she took out her cell phone and dialed nine, one, one.

  Chapter Seven

  The decision had been made. It was clear we needed to find out what happened to Lugnut and why it involved Dog Breath. But, we couldn't agree who should go to Lugnut’s funeral with Dog.

  An informal meeting came to order and the debate began after everyone was served lunch. Piper as usual tried to moderate the discussion. “It’s pretty simple. We need someone who knows how to investigate and ask the right questions. Like me.”

  Ida huffed. “Of course, you think you should go. But, Dog is going to an Army buddy’s funeral. He will be spending time with the family, and they will be talking about the time in Vietnam. It might be better to send someone who understands what military families go through.”

  I pinched my lips and nodded in agreement, then asked, “Well, other than Dog, who has military experience.”

  Instinctively we all scanned the men in the room. We all knew Digger had served a few years in the navy, but it was not during war time and he spent most of his time pushing paper behind a desk. Guardrail never served. Dad spent time in the Army, but he was not the best choice to send into a sensitive situation. Hence, our dilemma.

  Edith’s voice surprised us all and I immediately felt guilty for being chauvinistic. Edith announced, “Dearies, just about every man in my family has served. My nephew is even currently stationed in Germany, in the Marines. Our dad was in the Army, WWII, and we attended more than one military funeral. I could go.”

  Lily added, “If you go, I should go, too.”

  “No, you've been sick and still need to rest. I can go and help Dog, you stay here and get better.” Edith glared at her sister to make it clear. Lily was not coming with her.

  Lily nodded in agreement. She knew traveling and sleeping in a strange bed would be hard on her.

  Star emerged from the restroom and looked more like herself. Her hair was neatly brushed and styled and she wore a clean, pretty blouse and jeans. She even smiled as she sat down to eat her hamburger. “I'm certain that Lugnut’s spirit didn't know how to communicate with us and panicked. The poor ghost dogged me all day trying to figure it out and is now relieved that we finally got his message. I should have known sooner. It is hard for some right after they pass to the other side. They are disoriented and don’t how to do even the simplest of things.”

  I put my hands on my hips and stared at Dog. “I think you should take Star, too. She has been the one communicating with Lugnut’s spirit and it’s important to keep that line of communication open. She may even sense something once she is there, around Lugnut’s family and friends.”

  Dog nodded yes. “I agree. With all that has happened, we're just starting to understand the events of the past couple of days. There's still much to do and Star is the only one who can communicate with Lugnut.”

  “So, it's agreed. Dog will go to Statesboro with Edith and Star.” I scanned the faces for objections. When, I came to Guardrail, he scowled at me.

  “Ginger, you know there is no way I’m letting my best buddy and business partner go through this without me. I’m going too.” Guardrail glared at me to underline it was not open to debate.

  Dog picked his head up and cracked a small grin at Guardrail, then said, “Thanks. I can’t imagine going through this without ya.”

  Ida added. “I can reserve a couple of hotel rooms for you, and whatever else you need to make the arrangements for the trip.”

  Dog turned to Ida. “That is very kind. Thank you. And if it wouldn’t be too much to ask, can you have flowers sent using that laptop of yours, too?”

  Ida nodded. “Sure. If you give me your credit card number. I’ll help, but I’m not paying for flowers.”

  Guardrail threw his head back. “Oh boy! Here we go. I don’t think I have ever seen Dog’s credit card. I don’t know if he even has one, let alone know the number.”

  Dog glared at his best friend hurt. “Are you saying I am cheap?”

  Guardrail shook his head no and answered in a soft voice that sounded odd from such a big man. “I’m not saying anything. I should have just kept my mouth shut. Sorry.”

  Dog reached into his pocket and removed a blue cloth trifold wallet. I heard the sound of the Velcro unzipping and he took out a credit card. Then he held it in a way so that all could see. “Here ya go. No lilies. He didn’t like them after going to too many of his friends’ funerals. No offense, Lily.” Dog glanced over to her table to make sure she understood. Then he continued, “He wanted his funeral to be a celebration. Get something with roses. He loved Guns ‘n Roses.” Then he left his stool and walked over to Ida, handing her the credit card.

  Ida smiled at Dog, and took the card. “I’ll make sure Lugnut gets something real nice. And I’ll even make sure to dig up some online coupons and save you a few bucks.”

  “Thanks. I appreciate it. I appreciate how nice you all have been to me.” Dog glanced around the bar, to each of his friends. He meant what he said...we felt it. Then he cracked the slightest smile for all to see, to emphasize how much we meant to him.

  It didn't last long. Beth entered the pub like a child visiting Disney World for the first time, moving slow and with purpose to take it all in while containing her excitement. She must have heard something had happened. She tittered, then said, “So it's true, something transpired with your detestable chicken ghost. I heard a rumor. It’s the only reason you would all be assembled here now. And I can see it on your faces”

  Piper answered with a slight growl in her voice. “What you see on our faces is mourning and concern. Dog’s best friend from Vietnam just died.”

  “Oh, I am sorry to hear that. They say the bonds formed between the soldiers over there was unbreakable.” Beth tried to flash Dog a compassionate expression, but it just came off as smug.

  “Thanks, Beth. But, you can never understand what we went through over there. Nobody can unless they were there. So, don’t even try.”

  The pub fell quiet. Dog was back to his cranky old self and I was unsure what to do or say. But I didn't need to do a thing. Dad burst through the kitchen door into the solemn scene. He skimmed the room and said, “What’s with all the long faces. So, a war buddy died. I can tell ya, this is not how you deal with it. Every good soldier would want you to have a few beers and some good belly laughs to remember his life. Now, let’s lose the gloom and doom and celebrate the man’s life.” Dad went to the tap, poured himself a beer and took a sip. Then he noticed the drip tray was a mess and proceeded to clean it.

  Dog actually smiled. It was genuine and even had a bit of relief to it. “Now there’s a man who understands. Lugnut would never want me to mope or be sad. He always said to enjoy the day and get as much out of it as you can. Each twenty-four hours is a gift. And he was right. Dixie, a round of your best beer for me and my friends.”

  Dixie stared at Dog like he was an alien. Then she snorted and picked up three mugs. “You got it, but what did you mean by our best beer. You and your amigos always drink the cheapest lager on tap.”

  “Well, that’s because we consider it to be your best beer!” Dog pointed at the tap indicating to Dixie he wanted the beers now.

  Ida chimed in once again. “Hey, you know I can do some digging on my computer. See what was going on with Lugnut just before he died. Maybe that will help to figure out what is going on.”

  Guardrail made a face. “I just kind of assumed you and Piper would do that anyway.”

  Piper was frowning. “I still think I should go, but I can help Ida do some background checks. Sure”

  I sighed. “So, we have a plan, sort of. What are you going to do when you get there, Dog?”

  Dog studied his shoes for a moment, then said, “I think I will do just like we did over in ‘Nam. We’ll do exactly what is necessary for the moment. There is no use looking too far into the future and makin
g plans that will likely be derailed after the first shot.”

  “That is... pessimistic.” Dixie was trying to be nice, I could tell, but she could have chosen her words better.

  “I understand, Dog. With the first shot fired, all plans go to hell in a hand basket.” Dad didn't even look up from the drip tray he was cleaning.

  Dog nodded in agreement and took a long sip from his fresh beer. Wartime rules were brutal, you did what you needed to do to survive. And it concerned me that Dog thought he needed to revert to the means and methods he learned in Vietnam.

  Chapter Eight

  “Come on, I dropped off the luggage with the valet. Time to go to the funeral home.” Dog seemed to be operating on some sort of autopilot.

  “We got plenty of time. Lugnut isn't going anywhere. Guardrail wanted to get us checked into our rooms before we headed over.” Edith had an odd mix of compassion and frustration to her tone.

  Guardrail walked back to the group and handed Star a card key. “You and Edith will be sharing a room, and Dog and me are in the one right next door.”

  Star took the plastic card and put it in her pocket. “I hope Ida requested double beds.”

  Guardrail shuddered. “I better go ask at the desk before we leave and make sure. There is no way I am sleeping in a bed with Dog.” He made a beeline back to the front desk.

  Star studied the hotel lobby. The morning was spent driving out to Statesboro and the only thing she had sensed for the last few hours was Dog’s immense sadness. Now, out of the car she could let her paranormal abilities breath a little. But, most of what she sensed was still Dog. His sorrow was deep and she realized Dog was trying to be strong in front of his friends.

  Star took up a spot next to Dog Breath. “How are you doing? You seem a little zoned out.”

  Dog locked eyes with her. “I’m going to bury a man who I went to war with. A man I thought I might die with while out in the swamp and jungle or even during a weekend pass. You don’t know how it was. A shoe shine boy could detonate a bomb while shining your shoes. Or a grieved widow could throw a hand grenade into a crowd of soldiers. It was that simple over there. If it was your time, it was your time. We lost a lot of our friends, but Lugnut, Slick, and me made it back. Now, in a flash, Lugnut is gone.”

  Star pinched her lips and sighed. “I know. It's hard to lose someone you care about. But, it is part of life. And it should make you feel better to know he loved you, too. His spirit sought a way to warn you, and just after passing to the other side. That is very unusual and only someone who cared deeply would do that.”

  Dog cracked a small smile. “Don’t forget he found a way to see you in the shower. Lugnut and Slick could never control themselves around the pretty ladies.”

  Star blushed and was surprised she was also a bit angry. This shower incident was going to stay with her. She was sure more jokes about it were in the future and she had to find a way to deal with them.

  Edith understood that Star was uncomfortable with the teasing and came to the rescue. “When was the last time you saw Lugnut’s family?”

  “Last summer. He got tickets to the race track in Myrtle Beach. Me, Slick, and Lugnut had a boy’s weekend up at the beach. But, we did spend a day here in Statesboro to visit family.”

  Guardrail returned shaking his head. “Ida may know how to hack into a database, but she sure didn’t know how to book a hotel room. We had two rooms with queen beds. I got it changed. I need that card key back, Star.”

  Star swapped keys with the big man, then he lumbered back to the front desk while muttering, “Ida has some splaining to do when we get back.”

  Edith snorted. “Well, at least he caught it. I should tell you now, Star. I snore.”

  Star rolled her eyes and folded her arms. “And here I thought this trip might a nice change of pace. You know, get away from Potter’s Mill for a few days.”

  Dog laughed. “You can have Guardrail then. But, I should warn you, he snores like he talks, loud and often.”

  Guardrail returned and waved at the other three to follow as he headed to the front door. “Rooms are all set. So, time to go pay our respect.”

  They piled into the rental car and drove over to the funeral home. Guardrail drove and Star did her best to relay the directions off her cell phone, but tech was not her thing. At least she knew how to use the GPS and that was better than Edith or Dog Breath. Eventually, they found their way without too much trouble.

  The funeral home was large and beautiful. The entire site was immaculate and the landscaping perfect and green. The building was impressive, painted white with black trim. Everything looked new and fresh, even the burgundy awning over the bricked front walk leading to the main entrance.

  Dog got out of the car and gave the place the once over. “Looks like Lugnut is going out in style. Good. He deserves it.’

  The four approached the front door and entered. The door was not even fully closed when Lugnut’s widow, Bianca Howard, welcomed them. “Dog! So nice to see you. I was hoping you would come early. You must have left Potter’s Mill at the crack of dawn to get here by now.”

  “Nothing is too much trouble to come and help you out. Glad to be here.” Dog gave her a hug.

  Star and Edith flashed each other a quick look with jaws hanging. Dog never showed emotion openly and this display surprised them.

  Dog let Bianca go and took a step back. “I should introduce you to my friends. They came to provide support. This is Guardrail, who you know already. And this is Star, and that is Edith.”

  All three nodded their heads to say hello as they heard their names.

  Bianca extended her hand to shake. “Pleased to meet you all.” After the formalities, Bianca sniffled and wiped her nose with a handkerchief. “This is a lot for me to deal with. But, I am glad to see you, Dog. Lugnut loved and missed you. He would say that you and Slick knew him better than he knew himself. So, I am sure he is happy you are here. I’m happy, too.”

  “Can’t say I am happy to be here like this. But, I wanted to be here. That’s for sure. To help you in any way we can.” Dog pinched his eyebrows to share his sincerity with her.

  “You’re such a sweet man, Dog. I needed a little ray of sunshine like you today.” Lugnut’s widow smiled, weakly, to show her thanks.

  Edith could not resist. She turned to Star and whispered. “Is she talking about the same Dog Breath we know? I never heard anyone call him a ray of sunshine.”

  Star shrugged in response.

  Dog scanned the large room and asked, “Hey, where is Slick?”

  Bianca’s face went white and she fumbled for words. She finally managed to say, “You didn’t hear?”

  Dog shrugged, “No. Hear what?”

  Bianca drew in a deep breath. “It happened last night. Slick got a bad tank of oxygen. It almost killed him. He's in the hospital.”

  Dog slumped like he took a blow to the stomach. “You’ve got to be kidding me? How can that be?”

  Bianca shook her head. “I have no idea. But, Candy, his most recent girlfriend, called and told me late last night. She was so worried about not being here this morning. But she insisted on being at Slick’s side at the VA hospital. Like I said, I have had a lot to deal with the last couple of days.”

  Guardrail noticed the impact this news had on Dog and asked, “How far is this hospital from here? Maybe we can go see Slick later today?”

  Bianca shrugged, “I don’t know, forty-five minutes maybe.”

  Guardrail turned to ask Dog when he wanted to leave. But all he saw was the hind end of his business partner going out the front door.

  Edith gently grabbed Guardrail’s forearm, and with some effort, and tugged at him to stay. “Let him have some alone time. He’s lost one of his best friends and just learned another is lucky to be alive in the hospital. He can use a minute.”

  Guardrail looked at the old spinster, confused. He knew Dog for many years, but this news seemed to suck all the life out of him. “I’m
going to get him. He is my best friend and I need to be there for him.” And with that he left.

  Five minutes passed and Star, Edith, and Bianca were now chatting like lifelong friends when they spotted Guardrail once again. He was staring at the ground muttering to himself.

  Star asked, “Is everything alright?”

  Guardrail shook his head. “No. Dog is gone. I looked all over the parking lot and around the building. But I can’t find him. I think he left and went somewhere. What I don’t know, is why would he do that?”

  Star closed her eyes and opened herself to the chatter of the other side. She searched for Dog’s sorrow, trying to find him. Then she opened her eyes and said, “I think you’re right Guardrail. He is gone. I can't sense his sorrow anymore.”

  Bianca glanced at Star sideways. “What was that? And what did you mean? You some kind of spirit whisperer?”

  Star smiled. “I never heard it put that way. But, yes, I can communicate with the spirit world. I own a new age shop in Potter’s Mill and do readings most of the time.”

  Bianca fussed with her hands and confusion flashed across her face. She finally asked, “Is it improper to ask? But I would like to know if you can talk to loved ones that have just passed.”

  Star formed a small, compassionate smile. “But, of course. And if you are referring to Lugnut, I have already seen his spirit once.”

  Guardrail blurted out without thinking, “Yeah, and he saw plenty of you, too!” Then he blushed when he saw Bianca, Lugnut’s widow, staring at him perplexed. He added, “It’s a long story, I tell it to ya later, when it’s more appropriate.”

  Star glared back at him with gritted teeth. This teasing was going to test her patience. Then she composed herself and said, “That was uncalled for, thank you very much Mr. Guardrail. But, you are missing the urgent ‘to do’ item on our list. We need to find Dog.”

  Guardrail frowned. “You’re right, Star. And the only place he has to go is the hotel. So, maybe we should head back there to see if we can find him.”