A Whiskey Sour Wipeout

by Constance Barker

  “To be honest, I’ve had the same thought, Piper. But everyone does say Lugnut was in good health and the heart attack surprised people, so maybe it was caused by something in his pills. Heart attacks do happen suddenly sometimes.” I moved my hands like they were a balance scale trying to figure out which side was heavier.

  Dixie added, “But Star also saw a woman in her dream giving something to Lugnut. So, that tells us two things. It was a woman who did it and someone did poison Lugnut, if her dream is right.”

  Piper forced a smile and made eye contact with Star. “It was a dream. With all due respect, it doesn’t mean that is what really happened.”

  Star seemed to be lost in thought for a moment, then replied. “I know it is hard for others to understand. But there are things I see in dreams that are real, and I know it actually happened or is going to happen. There is no doubt about that dream being an actual event.”

  “Are you alright, Star? You sound so tired?” Dixie had compassion in her voice, the real kind and not the forced version she used when tending bar.

  Star formed a faint smile. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m tired for sure. The dream and the build up to the encounter with Lugnut’s spirit was draining and I have not slept much since. And I know this is weird, but I have felt an evil presence the whole time we have been in Statesboro. It was in Slick’s hospital room and at the wake earlier today, but it was faint. But I am feeling it again, right now, and it is really strong. I can feel it sapping my energy.”

  Digger surprised us all when he patted Star on the shoulder and said, “We got your back. Is there anything I can do for ya? You want an aspirin or something?”

  Star chuckled. “Why do you and Guardrail think an aspirin can help with paranormal issues?”

  Digger’s face went blank. “I guess I just assumed the weird ghost stuff gave you a headache.”

  Star shook her head no. “An aspirin is not going to fix this. We have to find this evil entity and defeat it, that’s the only thing that will lift this crushing weight I'm feeling.”

  Piper eyed Star wearily. “So, if we assume it is a woman based on Star’s dream, I have three, Bianca, Candy, and Linzi. They have had run ins with one another, and they all had good access to both Slick and Lugnut.”

  Digger uttered. “Don’t forget the government cover up angle! That could explain the secret gas.”

  I could not keep the thought to myself, so I added, “So, I think we are back to testing Lugnut’s body. Regardless of whether it was a male or female, if it was some kind of poison or medication that caused his heart attack, testing his remains is the best way to confirm it. And to get others, like the police, to believe this story.”

  Dixie burst into laughter. “I would love to see a police detective's face if we told him this story.”

  Guardrail didn't laugh, and even looked pensive. Then he said, “Ginger, the VA policeman is helping us. And he knows the local police and he can inform them if we find anything. Plus, he believes in the Grumpy Chicken ghost. He loved the TV appearance and knew us from it.”

  “How much did you tell him? Have you told him the whole story already?” I scolded myself internally for worrying about getting the police involved. But a part of me felt it was too soon. We needed some actual evidence before we involved them.

  “He knows pretty much everything. He was in the room when Dog and Slick talked, and they covered just about everything.” Guardrail looked up and to the right, like he was rewinding and replaying a tape of the event.

  My phone rang and vibrated, and I answered. “Hello?”

  “Ginger, it’s Dad. We had an unusual incident here you might want to know about.”

  “Um, how unusual.”

  Dad chuckled. “Not very for this place. But you know that old white board we have in the back?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, something appeared on it. It’s a few letters that are kind of hard to read because they are like a watery lens floating around on the whiteboard. And you can see right through the letters like you're looking into the center of the universe.”

  “Well, that is different. Could you make out what letters are floating around on the board?”

  Dad sniffled. “Kind of. I think Bones is more confident about it than I am. Let me put him on the phone.”

  There was some rustling then Bones' voice blared from the earpiece. “Ginger? You there?”

  “Yep. Dad said you might have made out the letters on the board. Do you know what letters are there?”

  “Yeah. It was hard because they move and are kind of like liquid. And they pass through each other as they move. It's kind of creepy, but you can see these beautiful stars through them.”

  “I get it. We’re talking about the Grumpy Chicken here and these things happen. Now can you tell me what letters are floating around on the board?”

  “Yeah. There are two, C’s, A’s, R’s and O’s, and there is one M and Z.”

  “Wait, I have to write this down. Anyone got a pen and paper?” I held my hand out and waited.

  Piper jumped and produced the little notebook and pen she always kept with her in case she ran into a story.

  I continued. “Okay, two each of C, A, R, and O, and only of M and Z. Is that right?”

  Bones mumbled to himself then responded. “Yeah, that is what I think is there. I took a video of it with my phone. I can send it to you.”

  I hung my head and looked at my scribbles on the note page. “I can’t believe I didn’t think of that. But, yeah, please send the video so we can see it. And thanks for calling.”

  Bones let out a nervous laugh. “How are you doing up there? You figure this all out yet?”

  “No, but thanks for calling and tell Dad I will call later tonight. I need to go now. Bye.”

  I clicked the phone off and put it in my pocket. Not surprisingly, the gang had watched closely and they'd heard the whole phone call.

  Piper quipped, “Well?”

  I snorted and looked at the letters on the piece of paper. “Anyone up for a game of scrabble?”

  The puzzled looks I got in reply were expected. But then I saw their jaws drop and eyes pop. It was clear something even stranger than the phone call had happened behind me, so I spun to look. I saw two military MP’s marching into the funeral home accompanied by two other somber looking men. It was obvious none of the four were happy to be here and they headed straight into the room where Lugnut’s wake was taking place.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “Piper, see what they’re here for. I'm assuming they came to get samples from Lugnut’s body.” My mind was racing and I needed to get organized to make sure we didn't miss anything.

  Dixie joked, “What do you think they have to do, take out a whole organ, like a liver or something?”

  Digger turned white. “I hate the thought of that.”

  Dixie couldn't contain her laugh. “A grave digger that can’t take a little blood?”

  “Nope, I work with the dirt, not the bodies.”

  Star peeked around the corner from the small cafe area where we had settled. “They are talking to Bianca and Piper is there, too. Has to be they want to get some test specimens.”

  “I think you’re right, Star, but we can’t assume. So, we should wait for Piper to come back tell us what was going on. So what do we do while we wait? We have this Grumpy Chicken letter thing to figure out and we still need to check out Slick and Lugnut’s background, as well as their wives and girlfriends.”

  “Ginger, I think the gas is an important piece, too. If it was top secret, who had access and how did they get it? That may answer a lot of questions.” Dixie’s voice wavered a little, like she was unsure if she should say what she was thinking. It wasn't like her to sound indecisive.

  “I agree, but it might be hard to find out about the gas with the military guys cracking down. But we do have one ace in the hole. Slick is alive and Dog and Edith are there with him. And I think we need to learn more about Slic
k’s girlfriend, Candy, and it’s time to ask Slick some pointed questions, like who had clearance to get near a gas like the one that almost killed him. And who would want to kill him.”

  Digger had been fidgeting and stopped to contribute a thought. “We should talk to Lugnut, too.”

  Guardrail glared down at the old grave digger. “Have you lost your mind? The man is dead.”

  “No, I think I know what he is thinking.” I smiled at Digger as a thanks.

  Star smiled at me. “Ginger, you have more ability to sense than you give yourself credit for. You can feel the evil presence, too. I can tell. And you know that Bianca asked me to try and contact Lugnut.”

  Digger assumed a smug face. “See Guardrail? I have good ideas, too. Star can talk to Lugnut.”

  “I’m not sure I would ever call talking to a ghost a good idea.” Guardrail shivered as he finished.

  Star continued. “I agree we should try to make contact. But I'm not sure it would be the right time with all that is going on. Maybe I can plan to do a private session with Bianca first thing in the morning. It is getting late tonight and I'm guessing she will not be all that keen to do it late tonight after the MP’s crashed the party.”

  I nodded in agreement. “It will also give us time to call Dog and Edith at the VA hospital and coordinate all the questions we want to ask, and to who.”

  Digger smirked. “We need to ask both Lugnut and Slick about any funny stuff they might have done over in Vietnam.”

  “Yeah, I know. But I also want to know more about this little dating game they were playing at the VA, too. Poison and gas are an odd choice to kill someone, and that feels like a woman’s touch.” Thinking out loud was becoming my standard procedure.

  Guardrail sighed. “So, that means we're not even sure who the intended target is. Slick or Lugnut, but it feels more like Slick given the unusual gas used in his oxygen tank.”

  Digger rubbed his eyes. “This is getting too complicated, it's hurting my brain.”

  Guardrail added, “We asked Slick already who may want to hurt him, but maybe we need to press a little harder.”

  “We need to get Ida’s help. She needs to fire up her computers and those little web crawlers to do some background checking for us. I think she should do it tonight. The sooner the better.”

  “That’s a good idea, Ginger. I feel we're still missing something.” Star’s eyes drifted off to inspect the scene back in the wake once more.

  “Well, while we're waiting let’s see those letters. I am good at the daily jumble.” Digger rubbed his hands together like he was going to crack a safe.

  Dixie snorted, “You? Your vocabulary consists of six words.”

  Digger glared at the snarky bartender and then held his hand out. I gave him the notepad with the letters. He scribbled a bit and then stopped, staring at the notes like he had just painted a masterpiece. “There ya go! It spells ‘orzo masccara.’”

  Dixie laughed and tapped his notes. “I'm pretty sure mascara is spelled with only one C. And what in Asgard is orzo mascara?”

  Digger rubbed his chin. “You sure it only has one C? And what in the blue hills is Asgard?”

  Guardrail did not look at him but replied. “You know, the planet that Thor and Loki come from.”

  Digger shook his head. “Thor? Really? And you all think orzo mascara is weird.”

  Piper came shooting back into the dining area. “They are doing it right here, right now!”

  Digger turned white again. “I think I need to go outside and get some fresh air.”

  Piper scowled at him. “Suck it up, will ya. They're just taking some hair and tissue samples. It's not big deal.”

  “Did they tell you when they would have results?”

  “Yeah, Ginger, they did. Tomorrow.” Piper pinched her lips and raised her eyebrows in an attempt to non verbally brag about her journalist skills.

  Guardrail brought her back to earth. “Well, they going to share them with us?”

  Piper shrugged. “Don’t know. They said maybe, but we have to tell them everything we know first. Then they may share the results with us.”

  “Well, we don’t really know all the much. And a good deal of it deals with Star’s insights. I’m not sure how much faith those military men will have in the mystic side of things.”

  Star chuckled. “Ginger, as always you are right. Those men strike me as the kind who would doubt it.”

  Digger sighed. “Well, it's always best to tell the truth. Always! That was what my momma said.”

  Dixie rolled her eyes. “Here we go. Whenever you mention your momma, you're covering up for something.”

  Digger frowned. “I just don’t want to be the one who tells government employed MP’s that the government is causing all this. You know, since I'm the only one who thinks it is a government cover up.”

  Piper continued. “The MP’s told me that Guardrail and Star are to communicate with the VA policeman they met earlier. He's keeping an eye on Slick and Dog for now and we can talk to him. He is our point of contact, and he will relay the information up the chain.”

  “That sounds like a one-way street.” My lips pinched together in frustration.

  Guardrail noticed. “Maybe not, Ginger. I talked to this guy and I think he would love to be involved on one of our adventures. I could hear it in his voice and see it in his eyes. He will tell us all that he can, I'm sure of it.”

  Star nodded. “I agree. I sensed excitement in him, the kind you see in a child going to Disney World.”

  “It’s still a big leap of faith. And I suspect we'll really want to know the results of those tests they're running tonight.” I glanced to Piper for other ideas.

  “I think you're right, Ginger. But what other choice do we have? For now, we can try and solve the letters thing and get some sleep. It is going to be a long day tomorrow.” Piper wrinkled her forehead as she searched for more.

  Digger interrupted. “I solved the letter thing. It spells orzo mascara.” He held the note page out for Piper to see.

  Piper sighed. “Digger, I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but mascara is spelled with only one C.”

  Dixie could not keep quiet. “See I told ya. Keep trying.”

  Star piped up. “I need to talk to Bianca. We might be able to do a séance tomorrow to talk to Lugnut. She wanted to try, and if connect with him, we can ask some questions about what happened to him.”

  “So, you need us to go with you to talk with Bianca?”

  “Thanks, Ginger, it would be appreciated. I am exhausted and I’m sure I could use some help with the courtesies.”

  Piper threw out, “I’ll go, too. Let’s go get it done. I'm sure she'll say yes.”

  So Star, Piper and I left Guardrail and Digger with the food and coffee to go schedule a séance.

  Chapter Sixteen

  We returned to the hotel and assembled in the bar. We were full from all the nibbling at the wake, but grabbed a nightcap and corner table to chat about our day. “I guess it’s time to call Ida.”

  Piper nodded in agreement. “We could use a break, and she felt left out. I can call if you want.”

  “No, I’ll call.” I took out my phone and dialed.

  “Hey, Ginger. How’s it going?” Ida sounded chipper.

  “Well, we could use some help. Things are kind of complicated here and we need to see if you can find something of interest for a few people.”

  “Will do! Send me the names and any other info you think may help me.”

  “Thanks. You sound awful cheerful. Anything happen back there in Potter’s Mill we should know about?”

  “Not really. I heard from Scooter today, that’s all. He called from Scotland. They're shooting in some old castle over there.”

  I chuckled. “I should have guessed. Well, I’m glad you're in a good mood. You might be up late with this one, because we need to get some results from you by early tomorrow morning.”

  “No problem.” Ida talked whil
e she chewed something.

  Piper cut in. “I just sent all the names to Ida’s phone. Tell her to call us if she needs anything else.”

  “Ida...”

  “I heard, Piper’s voice carries. I’ll get right on it. Talk to you in the morning. I need to get going to get this done, talk to you later.” Ida clicked off.

  “Well, that’s done.” I put my phone back into my pocket.

  Guardrail asked, “You got those jumbled letters. I want to play with them, see if I can come up with something better than orzo mascara.”

  Digger blushed. “At least I tried.”

  Piper took command. “Here, I can put each letter on a separate piece of paper, that we can move around to see if we can see if it spells anything.”

  Star added. “A “Z” doesn’t get used very much, so I thought when I first saw it that the Z might make it easier.”

  “I thought the same thing.” Piper ripped out a few sheets from her small wire bound note book and wrote a Z on one of them. “There’s the Z.” Then she wrote all the other letters on their own piece.

  Guardrail fussed with a few of the letters. “There, no that makes no sense.”

  Star wondered, “I think the Z may be used in the word razor?”

  Piper shuffled the letters around. “So that leaves M, A, S, and two C’s. I’m not sure you can spell anything with that.”

  Digger sat up straight. “Casm...no.” Digger slumped back in his chair.

  Piper added, “Maybe the Z is not for the word razor.”

  “Wait a minute.” I took out my phone and did a quick internet search. “The word finder apps give me comas, but we still have an extra C.”

  Star sighed, “If the Z is not used in razor, what other words could use the Z?”

  Piper popped. “No, maybe we're missing punctuation. I had a college professor that always said sometimes the facts point to a strange conclusion. And our minds don’t like unexpected or unusual answers. So, we tend to ignore the most obvious conclusion as determined by the facts. But when you have competing theories to explain something, you should go with the theory that has the least assumptions. In other words, the simplest answer is usually the right one, no matter how unexpected it may be. There was a name for this philosophy for solving problems, Occam’s razor. If you add an apostrophe, the letters spell Occam’s razor.”